Reddit reviews 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married
We found 11 Reddit comments about 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Engaged couples learn to discuss issues deeper than "chicken or fish."Posed in a variety of fun formats, including multiple choice and more.From the Lifetime Television show: How to prevent marriage problems before they start.
There are some books. "Questions you should ask yourself and each other before getting married". My boyfriend and I went through one, which prompted some very interesting debates and minor revelations (even though we had been together five years at that point). We did a few questions each night in bed and took turns answering first. I would recommend investing in a book like that if you want to make sure you thought of everything. We went through "1001 Questions to ask before you get married" by Monica Leahy (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0071438033/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1413190698&sr=8-13&pi=AC_SX110_SY165), but it is worth looking around a bit. We are both atheists, so we purposefully went with something fairly non religious. Depending on your beliefs and lifestyle a book with a different slant my suit you better.
https://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033
Is where we started once we realized we were serious. Chaplin does pre-martial counciling, some Chaplin’s even require it if you’re considering getting married on base.
Marry up. So up infact if she joined she’d out rank you in no time. So up that she’d be an officer by the time you put on tech and had two kids, if she wanted. And if she’s not, never let her think she isn’t capable of it.
Accept that marriage is a marriage of families. Also, crazy breeds crazy.
Never be unwilling to make at least a meal a day, help the kids when she needs a break, and clean up that meal. (You may not get a chance later)
Also, it helps if you marry a military brat that knows exactly what their getting into, and your first duty station is Hawaii for 6 years... but it’s totally the book and the marry up thing.
Also, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM SOCIAL MARKETING
I have said it a few times in this sub, but I got 1001 Things to Discuss Before You Get Married and once a week or so, we sit down and go through a chapter or two. It really does help you learn a lot about each other and bring up topics you otherwise wouldn't think of or would have thought were unrelated to your marriage (e.g. 'Were you envious of other children when you were younger?' Our answers correlated with how we felt about buying our future children expensive things.) I got it on my Kindle for like $8.
The venue search is kicking my ass. 100%. I ranted a couple weeks ago, but it's like they specifically try to hide the cost info as a way of reeling you in. I'm so sick of vendors playing these games, I'm a straightforward, direct, and honest person and I hate hate hate when people aren't the same with me.
As far as premarital counseling, we didn't/won't do it the conventional way, but we did painstakingly go through the "1001 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married" over the course of a few months (https://www.amazon.com/Questions-Before-Married-Family-Relationships/dp/0071438033). It was really good at making sure we were on the same page on both big and little issues, and raised lots of hypotheticals we never would have considered ourselves. I recommend it to everyone I know who gets engaged.
We've been going through [this book] (https://www.amazon.com/Questions-Before-Married-Family-Relationships/dp/0071438033/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1501447710&sr=8-2&keywords=questions+before+you+get+engaged) with a glass of wine. It can be a little silly for the irrelevant questions, but it has helped get us on the same page.
We worked through 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married. We found the material to be inclusive of different faiths, politics, and sexual orientation. Any questions involving faith are from the perspective of "Is this a potential cause for friction in our relationship?" Several formats are used between chapters - discussion questions, quizzes you take separately and then compare answers, situations with hypothetical people you "advise" on what to do, etc.
Some chapters in the book don't apply to everyone (military spouses, marrying a celebrity or felon). Others may contain redundant questions you and your partner may have already discussed ad nauseam. But if you make it through the entire book without learning a single thing? Congratulations - you're out like $10 and are a boss at marriage prep.
Also don't get married to this guy or anyone else without having gone through this book.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0071438033?pc_redir=1397398026&robot_redir=1
It really forces couples to have a difficult discussion before marriage. It helps to lessen the number of issues you will have after marriage and it's good practice on how to talk and resolve issues. Any guy who is unwilling to go through a book like this is an idiot. For the record I am a guy and it was my wife who suggested this book. Best thing for or marriage.
> So I brought it up and asked if we could work on a time-frame. He refused to discuss a time-frame and told me he still didn't feel ready... I wish that he would open up to me about what his reservations regarding marriage are... but so far... he hasn't. Marriage is very important to me. I've done a lot of soul searching and I know that long term, I couldn't remain happy unmarried.
I think y'all just need to communicate more. Describe to him what marriage means to you. Ask him what marriage means to him. In your minds, how does a married relationship differ from an unmarried one, all else being equal? How does he feel about other big commitments with you, e.g. going halfsies on a mortgage, or a dog, or some kids? Can he happily imagine himself married to you if you were different in some way? If he were different in some trivial way (e.g. his hobbies won't change, or if they do, they will always be compatible with yours)? Are there any external circumstances that he feels need to be met before he is ready for marriage (e.g. the two of you have X moneys saved)? How does he feel about other peoples' marriages -- e.g. high school sweethearts getting married at 18, the fifth marriage of a serial divorcee, a politically strategic marriage arranged between the children of heads of state, etc. What to him would describe the worst plausible marriage? The most common downside to existing marriages? The most common upsides? If you reduce marriage to its base components -- e.g. filing taxes jointly, a public declaration of love and commitment, disincetivising separation, power of attorney, child custody agreement, hospital visitation rights, alimony, etc. etc. which ones does he like least? (e.g. would he be OK with a legal alimony agreement between the two of you, independent of all the other stuff? Would he be ok with a public absolutely-not-marriage-not-legally-binding-at-all handfasting?)
If he's comfortable thinking about taboo-tradeoffs, try to identify roughly how much he prefers not being married to you. Would he marry you if an eccentric billionaire gave you each 1M USD upon seeing your legitimate marriage certificate? $100K? Would he marry you to save a dozen strangers' lives? Would he rather elope with you tomorrow, or chop off three fingers of his choosing? etc. etc. Most people have trouble thinking about their values in this way but it can be quite illuminating. If he can do the either/or's easily, ask him for quantitative pinpoints -- how many fingers would he need to lose to achieve marriage parity?
Do you know each other well enough? For example, can each of you accurately answer these for the other? What about these? Or these, these, these, these, etc. etc.
> I grew up believing that you married the love of your life.
Why is that? To what extent would the institution of marriage have to be different for you not to believe that? e.g. if work relocated the two of you to some foreign culture where it's regarded differently.
So, there is a book that I highly recommend the two of you go through together. Its literally a list of questions. Most of them are essay or conversation starters a few at the end of each section are multiple choice.
My now husband and I went through the book prior to getting engaged and it was extremely helpful. Parts of it are funny and other parts are very serious. Its gonna cover family and how you want to interact with each family... and its gonna have some really hokey examples to break up the more serious parts.
Sounds like your issue is an over-excited mind, anxious, fearful and obsessing with sex at the moment. To learn how to control that, try exteriorizing the problem, that is, look at it as if it's not your problem but you're observing someone else. Do you know Cesar Millan's dog show? If not, see how he's making dogs listen to him on NatGeo TV: http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/wild/dog-whisperer/ . He's always saying that he is curing the owners, not the dogs.
To find out what you want from a woman / relationship, make a list of what is important to you; write that in a file. Check the questions on OKC and see which of them make you say "hey, this matter to me". If you think there are too many or disorganized, check the ones from lovzen.com (the profiles are not linked to a service).
If you have the interest and are willing to spend the money, see:
If you want sexual education, see http://www.gardenerofthoughts.org/ideas/sexualeducation/sexualeducation/index.htm . You'll see that it deals with sexuality as a mental trait, not a physical one; if you like the introduction, read the virginity section.
http://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033/ref=sr_1_1