Reddit reviews 22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome

You'll find it hard to explain what it means to be on the spectrum unless you explain you're on, or suspect you're on, the spectrum. Having her understand that will provide a solid foundation for further discussion. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering: 'You know how some people by way of their genetic make-up are colour-blind - well some people are empathy blind...' is how one can begin a conversation.

These are quick, simple reads:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Things-Woman-Aspergers-Syndrome-Partner/dp/1849058830/

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Things-Woman-Must-Know-Aspergers/dp/1849058032/

This blogger writes eloquently. Advice applies to all relationships:

http://musingsofanaspie.com/aspergers-and-marriage/

22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know https://www.amazon.com/dp/1849058830/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_7X.KDbB788W1J

22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome https://www.amazon.com/dp/1849058032/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_-Y.KDb1E3SXX8

I've read the first one and thought it gave a nice overview. I haven't read the second one but it is the one that is for if the male is autistic rather than the female.

Have you seen [22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome] (http://www.amazon.com/Things-Woman-Must-Know-Aspergers/dp/1849058032)?

I don't think it will directly answer your question(s), but I think it was written for women in your situation.

As for the open relationship, I think its because he is a man and wants to keep his 'options' open; and Aspergers means he is not good at lying about it.

There’s a book you may find handy: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Things-Woman-Loves-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1849058032

I think for a long-term relationship, you should tell her you are at least worried that you might have AS. You might get her a present, like a book about how to relate to people with Aspergers. Generally, I think if someone tells you some intimate, dark secret about themselves; you are supposed to reciprocate.