Reddit reviews A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior

That is why there’s a book literally called “A Field Guide to Earthlings”

(someone else on this subreddit recommended it, and yes it's a good read)

A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004EPYUV2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_NFAXBbFYHDK61

This is cheap, accurate, well-written, and comprehensive. A little dull, by moments, but a great bedtime read.

Small talk may seem like a pointless waste of time, but it's not. Someone with asd brains work differently to most neurotypicals, the way we interpret and understand words and social interaction are naturally different, but that doesn't mean we're ever more or less correct in how we approach a conversation. That's an important thing to accept.

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Small talk is important because it shows respect for the person you're speaking to. When someone starts a conversation with someone no one can accurately know what mood they're in, what they're comfortable talking about in the moment and if it's a stranger there's even more to learn. Their built up beliefs of certain concepts or words may trigger negative responses. People see things in different ways, some people will tolerate different things to others. Small talk enables people to naturally learn what role they should play in a conversation, a deep monologue in some situations just isn't appropriate, even if it's what's going through your head.

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It's certainly tough to develop a filter between your brain and what you communicate, without feeling like you're being artificial or not true to yourself. There will be many people you meet in life that will notice your personal issues, offer support, will sit and talk to you. It shouldn't be expected of however. Some people lack the patience or skills and talking about such things, it can make them feel uncomfortable, or can give them the impression (like you said) , that the person is "self absorbed" or overly "negative".

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For me it's definitely a struggle interacting with strangers in real life situations. I have to be tactile in what I say, but at the same time not be too quiet that the conversation dies in a one on one situation. But it's very important not to drown out the other person. I think it's best to see it all as a skill that is worth learning. I'm sure you are capable, I think it's more that you've got to see the importance of it. The fact you wrote this post shows your self awareness, and that you care about it. Which implies you don't have malicious intent when and if you upset people.

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This is a good book. It may help.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Field-Guide-Earthlings-autistic-neurotypical-ebook/dp/B004EPYUV2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540844926&sr=8-1&keywords=field+guide+to+earthlings

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Just remember, being careful about how you talk about depression doesn't trivialise how important it is and to what extent it affects your life. A lot of people are aware of that, and by taking a more tactile approach, you may find more support and reassurance than the alternative, which is to let it become your outward personality also.

This book has received a 4/5 (69 reviews) on Amazon: A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior.

Not sure how appropriate it would be for a young adult such as yourself. Alternatively, you might want to check out your college's disability services office (if you aren't already registered) and see if they have any resources. Some schools offer peer mentoring programs and opportunities to engage with folks across the neurological spectrum.

> Read "an aspergers/autistics guide to the neurotypical world"

"A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior"
https://www.amazon.com/Field-Guide-Earthlings-autistic-neurotypical-ebook/dp/B004EPYUV2

It's actually both. Deception is integral to NT communication. What can I tell ya? NT's are weird.

Here's a good resource for learning more about how NT's brains function and/or dysfunction.

Ironicly, there is a book about this. A Field Guide for Humans is meant for autistics, but it really breaks down why people do what they do. There is a lot more to learn however. Small talk? It establishes a baseline (emotional mostly) with which to evaluate the following conversation. Negotiation? How do you establish trust where there is none. But the best advice I can give is to say as little as you can and make what you say mean something. I love the wikipedia page on Laconic Phrase for its examples. Also, read up on some unknown but important historical characters. Edward Bernays and [Diogenes_of_Sinope](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes of Sinope). Also, did you know about the Sky Pirates of WW2 or the Department of War Math?

Or you could just get a degree in pure mathematics and people will assume you are smart. Or learn Unix, grow a beard and nod knowingly and quietly chuckle whenever you are asked a question.