Reddit reviews Albanese Confecetionery Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5 Pound Bag
We found 87 Reddit comments about Albanese Confecetionery Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5 Pound Bag. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
SWEET, NO SUGAR: Everything you love about the delicious flavor Albanese gummies, minus the sugar. After one bite or our delicious, sugar-free gummies you'll taste the difference of fresh fruit flavors & a soft chew you won't find with any other gummies.STOCK UP THE FLAVOR: Whether you like them sweet, sour, big or small, Albanese gummi candies burst with fresh fruit flavors & you can stock up with a bulk pack of your favorite flavor. Delight your tastebuds with Albanese gummy worms, gummy bears & more!PERFECT SNACK: Fat free, gluten free, and dairy free, Albanese assorted gummy candies are your new perfect sweet and soft snack. There's a reason Albanese gummies are the world's best & once you try our deliciously fruity assortment, we know you'll agree.ALLERGY FRIENDLY: Peanut free, tree nut free, dairy free, MSG free, gluten free, and with no artificial sweeteners, Albanese gummy candies are an allergy friendly snack packed with a sweet, fruity flavor everyone can enjoy. Sweet gummies, giant flavor.RECIPE FOR SUCCESS: For over 30 years Albanese has been making delicious treats with high-quality ingredients here in the United States. Taste the difference in our gummies, chocolates, nuts, & mixes!
My suggestion would be to set up a security camera first.
EDIT: Also, if you want to set up a sacrificial package for the thieves to steal I suggest getting sugar-free gummy bears.
Some of the varieties of sugar-free gummy bears contains a laxative. I think the reviews speak for themselves. (In short, eating large amounts of them is a very bad idea)
A Healthy Alternative
As long as they are not sugar free evil bears, you should be fine !
Truly an excellent example of modern rhetoric and prose. The writers of tomorrow aren't training in colleges and writing schools- no, they're busy writing Amazon reviews about sugar free gummy bears.
Gummy Bears reviews here. In fact it was whilst I was reading these reviews about three years ago that I first met one of my good friends. She had just come to the UK and could hardly speak English. She was sitting across from me in a cafe and I was reading these reviews, laughing so hard I was crying. She asked if I was ok and we have been friends ever since!
The amazon reviews on those things are hilarious.
For some of the funniest shit to ever grace Amazon reviews
We're still working on whether artificial sweeteners cause a spike in insulin in humans. At the moment, there isn't solid science to back it up and a lot of it is speculation and anecdotal stories. We've only got tests on flies and mice. Along with that, very little of the sweeteners reach the pancreas and there is no glucose involved with this situation at all.
They do make you poop though. Enjoy if you have yet to partake!
Here is the Link to the Product Listing if anyone is interested in reading the reviews. They are absolutely hilarious!
Albanese Candy, Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5-pound Bag
Please read comments here.
My next order would be this: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DE4GWWY
I know it would be $20'ish wasted, but my hope would be after a day of stealing boxes, they open this puppy up and have themselves a nice big handful and relax for a bit.
EDIT: If you haven't heard of these little delish bears, check out some of the rave reviews!
Give her the Haribo sugar free ones, and I bet she'll stop.
For those that haven't seen Christine Torok's brilliant review yet: https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Flavors-Gluten/product-reviews/B00DE4GWWY
He probably just ate a bag of sugar free gummy bears.
It was! It is for Haribo Sugarfree Bears, also affectionately known as Hell Bears. Here is the rest of the comment section.
That one was funny! How do you housetrain a large kaiju like that?
There are several, but "for shits and giggles", you can start here: https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/product-reviews/B00DE4GWWY
I always keep a bowl of sugar-free gummy bears beside my toilet for emergencies. Also in my backpack in case I have a pop quiz. Here are some of the reviews...https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Flavors-Gluten/product-reviews/B00DE4GWWY/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_acr_sr?ie=UTF8&amp;reviewerType=all_reviews
Seriously, some advice from a former candy addict, buying someone sugar free candy is like sending them to a death camp. Make them homemade keto treats like fat bombs in heart-shaped silicon moulds or keto cheesecake tarts or something. If you don't believe me just check out these reviews:
You can't reference that and not link to the comment section of the related products...
The Haribo ones
The comment section that originally got attention
Sugar-free gummy bears. Read the Amazon reviews. Seriously, it's not something you'd want to do if you weren't constipated. It probably will work for you.
Don't do it, though. Don't do it.
You are stronger than a gummi bear.
Sugar Free Gummi Bears. Usually people are referring to the Haribo ones, but this one was "Albanese" brand. (I got the link by clicking the "No Image Found" image).
They use a sugar substitute which is highly laxative, and more than like 3-5 gummies at a time will trigger thunderstorms from your anus.
Of course it's well labeled in the product description /s
>About the product
>Sweetener: Hydrogenated Glucose Syrup (lycasin)
Oh, just regular old everyday lycasin, is that all!?
>Lycasin's known side effects in adults include bloating, explosive diarrhea, intestinal gurgling or rumbling (borborygmi), and flatulence. Some cases of extremely intense intestinal distress have been reported from consuming foods containing Lycasin, which led to many humorous reviews of German confectioner Haribo's Sugarless Gummy Bears.
For interested; read the reviews
In case anyone has forgotten the horror, here is the infamous review: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/review/B00DE4GWWY/R2DUEGOALTH7TS/ref=cm_cr_dp_mb_rvw_4?ie=UTF8&amp;cursor=4
(No, i have no idea how to shorten that like people do)
I'm sure she'd love a gift, I recommend this.
I hear these are good. 😂😆😅
Seriously though, just read the comments!!
Αν δεν λυπάσαι το έντερό σου...
As tu pensé à commander des golden bear sans sucres pour offrir une diarrhée explosive au mec assez con pour te les piquer et les manger ?
Chiasse de l'espace garanti pour ton voisin ... C'est bas, vil et mesquin, exactement ce que ce fils de chien batard mérite !
Clearly you've never had sugar free gummy bears.
https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/product-reviews/B00DE4GWWY I don't know how to shorten it, also lazy.
The reviews are amazing.
I will just leave this here for you amusement. https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Flavors-Gluten/product-reviews/B00DE4GWWY
Albanese Candy, Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5-pound Bag https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_mJ1XCbC08BXTJ
My first time reading about these.. well worth it I'm in stitches here laughing about it. Not sure if this is the same product but the other links I looked at are the same
Toilet humour (literally) but read the reviews and enjoy.
Or Reagan’s Favorite when he bottomed to Nancy.
https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears&amp;qid=1572303057&amp;sprefix=sugar+free+gummy&amp;sr= read the comments lol
The top comments are fucking gold :
I ate 6 of these things to aid along in digestion. I figured it was a tastier way to rid myself of a weeks worth of backup. I might as well have swallowed a nuclear bomb and topped it off with an enema. The good news is my digestive system is back on track. The bad news is I will never eat another gummy bear and may have flushed part of my soul down the toilet. God speed my friends...
It all started at 6 in the morning. The night before one of my hunting buddies had bought these without noticing that they wjere sigar free. He's one of those guys always reading about the effects of food and dieting and stuff, and refused to eat them claiming they would male you gain wait. So he gave them to me. I was out in the deer woods far from any toilet, or toilet paper. If I could go back in time I would have ran my friend over on tje way, or made sure my parents had never met, because after just 5 or so of these hell bent demon possesd spawn of satan bears, I knew I should have read the comments before taking these off my friends hands. It all started with A low rumble, like distant thunder, or the mating call of a rhinasurous. I was sure it would scare away any deer with in a 5 mile radius. But it didn't stop at that. My intestines began to move inside of me like snakes after eating cherry bombs. My soul itself seemed to be working its way through my bowls. By then I knew I had to get out of that tree stand, but by then I knew it was too late. I made a break for it just as the sun began to rise. I ran like a mad man in a way that I can only describe as a pregnant, ostrich sasqatch women. I had only made it a few yards when Lucifer himself shot out of me like a potatoe tied to a ceiling fan. I crumbled to the ground as I tried to rip off my extremely expensive no-scent camouflage hunting pants, but it was too late. I stayed in that spot for what felt like hours. My life flashed before my eyes, and I relived the time I caught my first bass. I prayed to God to kick a satellite from the sky to crush me, but my cries for mercy where coverd by the explosions of Satan still coming from my body. The stuff coming out of me would have caught fire if you'd struck a match any where near it. As I sat with my tormented thoughts, I saw the biggest buck I have ever seen in my life (about a 12 or 14 point) walk slowly past my tree stand. A FLIPPEN PURFECT SHOT. I sat in a puddle of mt own defeat tryimg not to suffacate on the fumes coming from the tainted turds. After what seemed like an eternity I managed to waddle back to my brand new truck, where I had no other clothes, or anything to clean myself with. The smell of my truck and the butt stains left on my once purfect seats will forever torment my dreams. I have gone through an eternity of air fresheners and nothing has worked. When ever someone has to drive with me and they ask what happened to my truck, I tell them a really long story about how I deliverd a calf in the middle of the night.
Well, I read the reviews...challenge accepted!
Final score - death bears 7...me 0.
You know how amazon gives you things that people also bought with your item...they should include some cottonelle wipes as a mandatory item with this.
My pre-colonoscopy meds were not as effective as the 40 bears I ate.
Why 40 you say? Well, I ate 5 and nothing...10
Nothing. Kept on going. Got a little cocky and ate 10 straight. Now, I’m thinking I’ve won! 10 more...sure, and 10 more.
It was at this point that i actually read he packaging. It actually says may have a laxative effect.
And here comes the night of a thousand waterfalls.
Don’t do the challenge. I thought they were all making stuff up.
These things are delicious, but they make my ass sound like Chewbacca.
You do realize that these 'sugar free' bears have the exact same calories as the regular Haribo gummy bears!
I foolishly ignored the warnings and purchased a 5 lb bag of these potent evil apparitions posing as delectably tasty goodies.
The laxative effect of these ‘sugar free gummy candies’ is nuclear. I first noticed rumblings as my intestines began a protest that escalated to world shaking levels. The gurgling and surging was grotesque. They continued to increase in both intensity and duration until the volume alerted all in the house of my impending explosion. Sphincter tightly clenched I urgently made the most awkward hurried hobbling walk to the bathroom. I arrived just barely in time as the propulsion became a cataract which physically lifted me forcefully off the seat of the commode. Without being able to grasp and maintain butt to commode seat integrity I shudder to wonder the scope of destruction of the resulting explosiveness.
The stench quickly overcame the exhaust fan, passive air freshener, aerosol spray, and tightly closed door. It was beyond awful. In an effort to save others in the house from a fate worse than death, I even risked waddling to the door between liquid explosions to stuff a dampened towel to futilely seal the gap.
Several spiders which had made their home unnoticed in the exhaust fan housing dropped down stone cold dead. Doors slammed as my wife and children instantly became refugees instantly grabbing hats and coats and fled seeking breathable air elsewhere. I was abandoned and left alone to suffer my fate. The peculiar and noxious smell is putrid and penetrating. It is worse than burnt hair.
These disgusting ‘alleged candies’ are actually mislabeled ‘prescription only colonoscopy evacuation materials’ only one of which is necessary to thoroughly empty any colon prior to scoping. I wouldn't wish these on my worst enemy. Seriously if you are scheduled for a colonoscopy, drop me a line and I will send you 20 of these nuclear option bowel evacuation 100% guaranteed to cleanse your bowels and make you wish for an end to life. Save you money no prescription needed.
Unfortunately something happened to the Haribo version 2-3 years ago. Discontinued due to popularity. But this one is only $26! The sugar free ones are the best! Oh, dont trust the reviews. /s
Another company still manufactures hellbears:
Every time I see a comment like yours, I have to go back and read the Haribo sugar free dummies product reviews page.
Scroll down and have a good laugh.
You would appreciate "Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears."
They're the best tasting colon cleanse money can buy.
They still exist, and are available for purchase, just without the Haribo brand name on the package. Same product.
>Who the fuck talks about gummy bears
Read this Amazon review, it's a compelling tale about the dangers of sugar-free Gummy Bears.
got time to read the most amazing Amazon reviews?
Ugh! Having read the sugar free Haribo gummy bears Amazon reviews I'm concerned about if you survived the ordeal.
Today I read a review on Amazon for a 5 pound bag of an incredibly powerful diuretic posted by a family member of a person with a colostomy bag who ate some, and it was less disgusting than Kevin Andrew's utterance.
Here is the review for comparison.
Mother-in-law is diabetic and has a colostomy bag. We're always careful to get her sugar-free candy when her sweet tooth starts acting up. Up until now, we've had great luck......up until now. We got her this bag of gummy bears for her to snack on. She tried a few and really liked them. Unfortunately, I hadn't read the reviews on this product, so didn't think she needed to pace herself. Boy, were we wrong! It only took a couple of hours, and she started screaming bloody murder. We walked in, only to see her colostomy bag completely full. So full, in fact, that you could thump it and it sounded like a melon. We tried to pinch off the tube so that we could quickly change the bag. The contents of her stomach were so watery that no amount of "pinch" would stop it. We quickly helped her into the bathroom, hoping we could disconnect the tube, and aim straight for the toilet. When we did, it was like a freakin', brown geyser from Hell!! Covered in watery fecal matter, we capped it off as fast as we could, only to have the bag immediately fill back up. We didn't know what else to do, so we put her in the shower. My wife tried to help her out of her clothes, but the bag kept expanding. We heard this stretching, gutteral sound of the bag expanding, when we closed the shower door, and yelled, "YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, MA!!", then proceeded to slam the bathroom door shut, and ran. Over her screaming, we finally heard an explosion. What can only be described as a "fecal Hiroshima" was all we saw when we opened the door. Ma-in-law had collapsed and passed out in the shower floor, covered in her own watery excrement. It was all over the shower walls and ceiling, and had easily ricocheted off the ceiling into the bathroom area. We called 911 for assistance. When they arrived and assessed the situation, it was like a scene out of "Outbreak". They hung a massive plastic sheet that covered the entire exterior of the house. People in hazmat suits were coming in and out. I even saw some of them vomiting. One of the tougher guys came out and told us that he'd never seen anything like it, even during 3 tours in 'Nam. He then cried like a baby.
I'm just glad we tried these on the mother-in-law before anyone else got hurt. While she was in the hospital recovering, I took her some flowers and a card that read, "Get well soon!" And then added, "And thanks for taking one for the team!" She hasn't spoken to me since.
Not just regular gummi bears. Sugarfree gummi bears.
I hope you really hate this guy with all of your being. I bought these and almost went to the hospital the first night because I ate over 20.
Enjoy his misery!
Eat some gummy bears next time (gummy bear reviews detail similar stories)
gummy bear link
Read the reviews. Pure entertainment. Sugar free candy is the devil.
I vote that at every RepRap festival there should be a Prusa build-off competition where they replace the Haribo Gold Bears with the Albanese Sugar Free kind instead. Anyone who manages to finish building the printer gets to keep it.https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY/
The amazon reviews are interesting.
Oh boy a scavenger hunt
Thank you for the contest
Someone else posted an alternative:
> You should try the same idea with gummy bears and these bad boys.
Amazon.com to the rescue. The reviews, I think, say it all.
Sugar Free Gummy Bear. Hear that boys!
Just read any of these reviews.
Read the reviews
Read the reviews https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/product-reviews/B00DE4GWWY
This right here always gets me. First time I read it, I spit a can of coke over my keyboard. I really have a vivid imagination when I read things which are well described. No need to explain further I guess :p
Some people do, just check the sugar alcohol used to sweeten them. If it’s maltodextrin or maltitol, it’s best to avoid it. They won’t kick you out of ketosis, but those two in particular have a very high glycemic index. They also have a well earned reputation of causing horrendous problems in the bathroom- ever read the reviews for sugar free gummy bears? Those are sweetened with maltitol.
You should avoid matitol. Seriously avoid it. TRUST me. And no, you don't deduct maltitol. Now, before you eat something with maltitol, click on the link and scroll down to the review by Christine Torok from October 2012.
I believe this is the original item that had its reviews go viral. Read them and you’ll see why.
Well, it looks like someone at Haribo or Amazon may have done some damage control. If you follow all of the links from various articles to the iconic 'Haribo sugarfree gummy bears' it now links you to 'Albanese Candy, Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5-pound Bag'
Thanks to you, I've decided to order some gummy bears off of amazon. (https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY) I'll tell you how they taste!
Sugar Free Gummy Bears.
Not actually stories, but the sugar free gummi bears' reviews on Amazon are a great way of wasting your time.
Did you know the active ingredient in Adderall can also be found in sugar-free gummy bears? You will need a large quantity, but it can be done. Hear me out...
Step 1: buy a 5lb bag of sugar-free gummy bears from Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Sugar-Free-Flavor/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears&qid=1558646508&s=gateway&sr=8-3
Step 2: split the bag into 4oz portions, about 40 gummy bears each. That's 20 portions.
Step 3: place each portion in a zip-loc bag and carry it with you.
Step 4: every hour, on the hour, open one of the ziplocs and swallow the gummy bears whole. DO NOT CHEW!!! Water will help you, but carbonated water like LaCroix will speed up the reaction. Get yourself a few cans of LaCroix. flavor doesn't matter.
Step 5: you will burp! you need to stay active. walk around in circles, jump a few times to let it out. whatever you can do will help.
As long as there is always a good amount of gummy bears in your system, you will stay alert and focused. I've done this for many years in college and it has helped me a lot.
Best of luck to you, my friend!
Read the reviews
Big ol' bucket of these bad boys by the front door.
Then I don't call it "candy" because I'm not American.
Seriously though, I live down a cul-de-sac with no street lighting, I'm not expecting any trick or treat-ers.
You have not known true pain my sweet summer child, educate yourself, read the reviews, don't try them though, don't make the mistake of thinking it is all just a joke, live in blissful ignorance of what a truely tattered asshole feels like https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY
Two things likely to be causing diarrhea:
Artificial sweeteners—if you don’t believe me, read the reviews for these sugar free gummy bears. A little bit isn’t bad, but too much (especially malitol) can mess you up.
Fiber intake: you probably aren’t eating enough fiber. Most Americans don’t, and most American fiber intake comes from grains/pasta/carby foods you aren’t eating any more. We are still fairly new to Keto, but I’ll tell you what: my fiber intake is higher than ever before, and I’m pooping so much better. My husband is too, and he’s had a lot of trouble with his BMs for his whole life. More veggies! You can also take a fiber supplement, but people can become dependent on them to prevent diarrhea—definitely try increasing nutritional fiber first.
Please keep up your water intake! Diarrhea is extremely dehydrating, which makes keto flu symptoms worse.
You'd be safer with tapeworms
Ya'll should read the reviews on 5lb bag of sugar free gummi bears sometime. Hilarious, horrendous. Anything with Lycasin (aka malitol syrup) as the sweetener will wreak havoc on your guts. I had tears running I was laughing so hard at these reviews: