Reddit reviews An Ethics of Sexual Difference

There's a disconnect between what women SAY they like, and what actually gets the panties wet. This is backed up by clinicians and theoreticians (even the feminists). See references:

https://www.amazon.com/Lacanian-Subject-Bruce-Fink/dp/0691015899

https://www.amazon.com/Ethics-Sexual-Difference-Luce-Irigaray/dp/0801481457/

Despite all these factors you say, maybe it's something small that actually turns you on. Say, the impertinent, unblinking way a certain guy looks at other girls.

Everything else comes into play when you're selecting a long-term mate, but I'm just talking about that visceral attraction.

Contemporary French Philosophy (which is rarely recommended here, I have noticed) has a lot of great stuff written on this. Plus a lot of these books deal with multiple of your interests.

Morphing Intelligence: From IQ Measurement to Artificial Brains by Catherine Malabou

This will cover things like race in technology (mostly IQ measurement), role of technology in politics (mostly AI), and some of the tricky ethical implications of these things. See also: What Should We Do With Our Brain? (This one deals with some mental disorder stuff and has an interesting take on the mind-body problem. It is probably the most refreshing account I have read in the current literature. She does redact a lot of her points about technology, however, in Morphing Intelligence)

An Ethics of Sexual Difference By Luce Irigaray

This will cover philosophy of language (Irigaray is also a linguist and she makes some beautiful points about language). Some of her points are lost in the movement from French to English but the translators are excellent at pointing out what is missing. Her big thing in this book is pointing out how language is a "sexed" concept that can leave women deprived of speech but she also has some wonderful critiques on science in this book as well. This can also serve as a foundation for ethics in a way (Ethics, in this context, is more to do with how one ought to live their life rather then good v bad). Irigaray also has some fabulous readings of William Lycan (very influential linguist) and Sigmund Freud in Speculum of the Other Woman.

Naturally, I can smell the analytic philosophers in the background wanting to slap my small book list to the floor but that should not stop you! Form your own opinions!

Best of luck on your journey.