Reddit reviews Birth Partner 5th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions

My guess is The Birth Partner: Birth Partner 5th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions https://www.amazon.com/dp/1558329102/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_pEAXDbDNWHMB4

For the birth process, I found Penny Simkin's The Birth Partner incredibly helpful.
During the first year, I also got a lot out of Baby 411.

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin

Birth Partner 5th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions https://www.amazon.com/dp/1558329102/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_OiKSCbG0B4CCY

With my first I chose unmedicated and had a very poor support system. This time I have an amazing support system but still worry.

If you have a strong support system it will make all the difference in the world. Attend birthing classes with your partner and/or watch birthing class videos. Commit to practicing the comfort techniques shown in the classes with your partner. Research the hospitals available to you and what they allow. Some hospitals really want you to stay in bed, which makes it harder to perform many pain management techniques. Some encourage a more ambulatory labor approach. Also see what they have available, do they have a shower or tub (birthing centers often have the big birthing tubs that many women swear by if that is an option for you), do they have a birthing ball, will they allow you to dismantle the bed to facilitate a wider range of positions to ease and manage pain. Get your partner familiar with many counter-pressure and massage techniques. Create a soothing playlist for the big day and bring a speaker in your hospital bag to play it. If you have mood lighting that you’d prefer to the harsh hospital lights, bring along led candles or whatever you have that will create the ambiance you want. It’s as much about psychological calming measures as it is about physical comfort measures. Combine the two for your best possible unmedicated experience.

AAAAND...don’t feel ashamed if, even with all of the above measures, you cave and get the epidural. You may check with your insurance, but it may be partially or even fully covered. If not...oh well, you can worry about that later. You do what you need to do to have a calm, fulfilling birth experience. No one will judge you if you choose to manage your pain with technology.

Also a book I see recommended a lot is “The Birth Partner”. Having your partner read this, or reading it with them may give you a lot of insight as to how to manage an unmedicated birth as a team.

Good luck?

Unfortunately you can do everything you can think of and she can still have PPD, but there are things that you can do to help. Knowing what's normal and expected by reading helpful books and evidence based research can help you both to know what to look for and feel more prepared which can help with postpartum stress. Making sure she has time and space to bond with the baby early and well can help her more connected to baby, more like a "good mum". Reassuring her in those early hours and days that she's doing well and that things are normal (normal is a pretty huge range of things). Sometimes having a few close people to help at home after birth is really beneficial to protect mum's space and time with the baby, but some people find that harder- feeling bad for not doing it on their own.
Don't feel like you or she have failed if either of you feel like you have no idea what you're doing or life is impossible or like you aren't as connected as you want to be. That first month is gonna be ridiculous and be overwhelming at times. It's OK. And get help from a professional if she needs it.

We did a four night birthing class spread across a month, which our hospital offered. It was taught by a retired doula who had great anecdotes and wisdom to share. We got The Birth Partner (your local library probably has one), which has a lot of great information. A lot of doulas are trained from this book and you see it frequently recommended. It's a lot to read; jump to the yellow pages and then dive into sections you want to know more on.

The ultimate practical guide, and on the note of being practical, buy and read it sooner rather than later: The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin.

https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-5th-Childbirth-Companions/dp/1558329102/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+birth+partner&qid=1572410841&sr=8-1

It is laser-focused on what you need to know as the support person at a birth. Doesn't speak down to men. If anything,it is already ready for you/everyone else to get over yourselves and get down to it. Will enable you to be what your wife needs during an extremely stressful period in her life.

I suggest you pay particular attention to the section on postpartum. The doctors will drag your wife/baby through the birth no matter what the situation, but postpartum is where you can all get extremely screwed without prior preparation. Good luck.

Hey! My partner and I have a three week old. I'm definitely not qualified to offer advice yet (or caught up on sleep), but here are three books that I'm very thankful to have read.


Great advice on how to keep your relationship healthy:

And Baby Makes Three


How to be awesome during pregnancy/labor/delivery:

The Birth Partner


Evidence-based info on how to calm an infant--don't let the cheesy title fool you. I can't imagine what the last couple weeks would've been like without reading this:

The Happiest Baby on the Block

I believe this is the latest version: https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-5th-Childbirth-Companions/dp/1558329102/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=the+birth+partner&qid=1562434106&s=gateway&sprefix=the+birth&sr=8-1

See if your local library has it.