Reddit reviews Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn’t
We found 3 Reddit comments about Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn’t. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
When someone asks if you are breastfeeding tell them "that's a really personal subject for me and I'd rather not talk about it". There is no rule it reason that says you have to explain every detail. You can even outright lie if you want to. I didn't make enough either and tried the feed/bottle/pump routine. Lasted a couple of weeks before going a bit mad through sleep deprivation. My husband pointed out that it wasn't worth it if I was so miserable... Formula isn't evil, it's a back up plan and a fucking good one at that. Read this book to help you understand why we feel so guilty over our experiences with breastfeeding.
You are mourning something. There’s a saying “The most painful state of being is remembering the future you can’t have”. You had a vision of what life as a new mother would look like and reality did not match that vision. It’s okay to acknowledge that you are grieving that.
You’re also still dealing with the hormonal fluctuations that come with childbirth and weaning. You had a traumatic birth on top of the preeclampsia and I’m sure you are still processing that even more than you realize.
There is a lot of pressure on women to breastfeed and we hold it too highly as a gold standard for good mothering. We shouldn’t do that to ourselves. I’m going to recommend a good book if you’re interested by a woman who was in your position. She also has a website you might like to check out. It’s good to know you’re not alone.
https://www.amazon.com/Bottled-Up-Babies-Motherhood-Shouldnt/dp/0520270231
Think about what you want to remember when you look back at this precious time with your little girl. The snuggles, the smiles, the bedtime stories. Holding her and loving her. Sometimes it helps me to focus on everything I have to be grateful for, it shifts my perspective to the positive. I’m not telling you to just ignore your feelings about not having the breastfeeding journey you’d hoped for and “just move on” but maybe remind yourself that what you’re feeling is natural then gently shift your perspective to the precious moments you want to remember forever.
It's interesting because I've been down voted to oblivion here for saying, with peer reviewed backup, that the benefits of breastfeeding over formula are exceedingly marginal (obviously not including cost and convenience!).
Now my perspective on it is that we shouldn't really worry about which is better and all moms should create a united front by saying that fed is best. Motherhood is hard, let's support each other and not worry about whether whatever we're doing is better than the Joneses.
For more info on the topic, read this great and very readable book:
https://www.amazon.com/Bottled-Up-Babies-Motherhood-Shouldnt/dp/0520270231