Reddit reviews Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

You might be interested in this book if you haven't seen it already. I read it for my sociology of gender class in undergrad and (think that I) remember the author talking about how she tried to raise her daughter outside of the "pink everything" and how quickly her daughter started wanting pink everything anyways.

I am currently reading the book: Cinderella Ate My Daughter. Very good read that talks about this subject. I'd recommend it.

http://www.amazon.com/Cinderella-Ate-Daughter-Dispatches-Girlie-Girl/dp/0061711535

I've tried to fight Disney (and Barbie) and sometimes its just not worth the fight. I have two daughters, and all of their friends have those things, and so denying those things make them even more desirable - so I try to keep it to a minimum and instead try to engage my kids with other toys and games when I'm playing with them.

Here's a great book on the topic, btw. Cinderella Ate My Daughter.

I have the same fear. I don't really have any advice or anything to offer other than that you are her strongest female role model. I was gifted a really great book about the princess phenomenon by my MIL though (she's a pretty hard core feminist) it's called Cinderella Ate My Daughter . It's really entertaining and full of all sorts of useless trivia (like the pink was originally considered a boy's color because it was a washed out red, like blood, and blue was worn by girls because it was more peaceful, etc.)

Those of use who hate the princess culture: book recommendation

The author is very insightful. She points out, for example, that on any official princess material, none of the girls ever interact with or even acknowledge the existence of each other. Like this

It isn't that teachers or parents are telling girls to put down the chemistry set and play with Barbie, but there are a lot of articles like this that show there is unconscious bias.

Parents also play a part in how girls interact wit their world and how they view themselves and their abilities. The book Cinderella Ate My Daughter should be handed to parents when the sonogram shows you're having a girl.

Also, confidence has a lot to do with whether or not a person gets into a science field. Girls, generally, do not have the confidence of boys in STEM fields - this is actually reflected in the linked article.

Furthermore, in STEM fields, Stanford found that just changing the name on a resume from Jennifer to John had an impact on how the applicant was perceived. Most notably..

> Over one hundred biologists, chemists, and physicists at academic institutions agreed to do so. Each scientist was randomly assigned to review either Jennifer or John's resume. The results were surprising—they show that the decision makers did not evaluate the resume purely on its merits. Despite having the exact same qualifications and experience as John, Jennifer was perceived as significantly less competent. As a result, Jenifer experienced a number of disadvantages that would have hindered her career advancement if she were a real applicant. Because they perceived the female candidate as less competent, the scientists in the study were less willing to mentor Jennifer or to hire her as a lab manager. They also recommended paying her a lower salary. Jennifer was offered, on average, $4,000 per year (13%) less than John.

I recommend reading the book Lessons From the FatOSphere by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby. That's my body acceptance bible. it's the first FA book I read and it saved me.

as far as your daughter goes.. unfortunately she's going to be surrounded by the idea that her worth is tied in with her appearance. For me, with my nieces. i don't tell them how beautiful or cute they are, i tell them how strong, brave, and smart they are. With my son I make sure he knows there's nothing wrong with my body. I'm not ashamed of my belly- when he was a little younger he used to like to play the drums on it and I let him. He would even do it in public.. no problem at all! I've never criticized my looks or my weight.

If I were you I'd also read up on princess culture- try Cinderella Ate My Daughter as a starter.

Just wanted to say it's awesome you're encouraging your daughter in this so aggressively. Too often girls aren't encouraged in more male dominated pursuits. It's a shame. (See Cinderella Ate My Daughter if you have an interest in this stuff)

One idea might be contacting your local Explorers' post. It's a branch of Boy Scouts that allows boys to shadow in areas they're interested in. It's pretty cool. A friend of mine got to ride in cop cars and see some crazy stuff in high school. I rotated in the emergency department. (And became a doctor.) I would call them up and see if they have any contacts with local architects. Then I'd contact the architect and see if they'd be willing to let your daughter shadow too. If they let Boy Scouts come by then I'd be willing to bet they're good people and wouldn't mind having your daughter come too.