Reddit Reddit reviews Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

We found 38 Reddit comments about Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Stress Management Self-Help
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks
Dare The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks
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38 Reddit comments about Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks:

u/colbby · 15 pointsr/GetMotivated

You need CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) and maybe look into CBD oil. I highly recommend a book titled D.A.R.E by Barry Mcdonaugh. Helped me so much and its cheap. Book Link if you're interested.

u/shitty_owl_lamp · 10 pointsr/IAmA

I used to take Lexapro for my anxiety/panic attacks (prescribed by my General Practitioner) and it worked wonders (with no / very mild side effects), but then I decided to try going off it (because we wanted to get pregnant and it’s not safe for pregnancy), and seeing a Clinical Psychologist instead, and after about 10 sessions I’m officially cured!

It’s been over a year since I’ve had a panic attack and I’m not afraid of having them anymore (or afraid of having anxiety symptoms) because I know what they are. I understand the body’s fight-or-flight response now and what adrenaline does to your body, and I just think “Oh yeah, this. I know what this is.” I probably spent $1,000 total on the sessions ($100 per session), but let me tell you a secret - what REALLY helped me was reading this cheap Amazon eBook and watching these free YouTube videos:

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks:

PanicFreeTV YouTube channel:

They all told me the same thing - that you need to LEAN INTO your anxiety! Let it wash over you! Let it happen! INVITE it to happen! Use your imagination to try to make it even worse! Anxiety/panic is counterintuitive. It worsens the more you fight against it. So stop fighting against it and accept it. Once you TRULY accept it, it goes away and never comes back. I promise!!

It’s a simple concept, but it takes practice. Lots of practice. I started out by mentally willing my heart to beat faster (which is impossible). With each surge of trying, I would notice my heart was beating slower, not faster, and my anxiety was subsiding. Give it a try next time you are worried about your heart beating fast/hard and let me know if it works!

P.S. - If you are a neurobiology nerd (like myself), this book is also awesome:
Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry:

The key to curing anxiety/panic is to research the HECK out of it! Understand it COMPLETELY! I promise you, many of the sentences in these books will make you cry because you will relate to them so dang much!

Good luck, my friend! You can do this!!

u/jnk · 8 pointsr/Anxiety

>there is absolutely NOTHING, and I repeat NOTHING that could have triggered me into this state.

Of course there was something that triggered it. One of the worst mistakes you can make is pretending that the anxiety is a big mystery. It's not. Telling yourself it is will only work to perpetuate the issues.

Research Competence Anxiety.

Research CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). If you're disciplined you could probably start on your own right away, if not find a therapist who will work with you.

Many people envy the position you're in right now, believe it or not. You reaching out for help this soon was a very smart thing to do. I think a lot of people end up waiting to reach out until after they've gone through a period of time avoiding everything that gives them anxiety and by then the anxiety issues are much more cemented in their brain.

CBT is all about riding straight back into those waves of anxiety and rewiring your brain back to how it was before the debilitating anxiety hit you.

Check out the book DARE by Barry McDonagh. The kindle version is free.

Let me know if there's an issue with getting that book. I'll make sure you get a copy.

edit: spelling

u/d_lytful · 6 pointsr/Anxiety

I would highly recommend reading DARE! -- I can't even tell you how much this book has helped me. I have pretty terrible health anxiety, and constantly research diseases and convince myself that the smallest symptoms are going to kill me, even though I too practice yoga, etc.

I think the biggest thing with anxiety, and what this book taught me, is that anxiety is mostly how we react to anxiety, if that makes sense? Basically we are training ourselves to be fearful of these thoughts or minor symptoms, and it's causing this continuing circuit of anxiety. It takes time to heal from anxiety, but you can overcome it. Sometimes it takes month, sometimes it takes years. Remember to forgive yourself, and realize that this is a process of untraining our brains and response system. It sounds like you almost have depersonalization/derealization? Maybe not, but look it up. I have struggled with that in the past, and it's a scary feeling. You feel crazy, like something just isn't right? Don't worry, you can ABSOLUTELY overcome that. Healing doesn't mean it will just vanish after a few weeks of trying. Healing involves falling, it involves more anxiety attacks, and training ourselves with how we react to them.

Here is what I would recommend:

  1. Read that book, for real.
  2. Start meditating practicing mindfulness immediately.
  3. Continue yoga.
  4. Continue eating healthy.
  5. Try a magnesium supplement if you haven't already.
  6. Listen to podcasts - I love Anxiety Guru and The Anxiety Coaches.
  7. Meditate more, practice more mindfulness, IT IS SO IMPORTANT.
  8. Drink lots of water
  9. Work on sleep hygiene
  10. Do something every day that makes you laugh. Fake it. Fake smile. Convince yourself you are having a great time.
  11. Take epsom baths.
  12. Journal. Practice art. Paint, play with clay.

    Everyone is different, but I am a firm believer we can greatly overcome this disease. It honestly just takes time. I think we go a few months or weeks without an attack, and think, "oh great, I have beaten this thing," and then we have an attack and convince ourselves that we actually didn't overcome it, and we never will, and this will continue to keep happening. I have a friend who had severe anxiety for her entire life. She hasn't had an attack in three years, but said it took her a full 5 years to get to that point. It's a process, and as much as we want instant results, we need to be patient and forgiving and not put a date on our "cure."
u/flwrchild1013 · 5 pointsr/CPTSD

I recently started seeing a trauma specialist for help with the panic attacks and lingering anxiety symptoms. She taught me "mindful drinking" (which I know sounds hilarious). Take a sip of cold water. Notice the temperature. Hold it on top of your tongue for 5 seconds, then move under your tongue for 5 seconds. Notice how it feels in your mouth. Swallow. See if you notice anything different about the taste/temperature. Take another sip of water. This time hold for 5 seconds in one cheek, and 5 seconds in the other cheek. See if you notice anything different about the taste/temperature. This exercise brings my heart-rate down significantly. The therapist told me that your saliva actually adds alkalinity to the water, which decreases your body's stress response. Plus it gives you something physical to focus on.

Also, I know I usually start to worry about the symptoms of the flashbacks and that's what turns everything into an anxiety attack. Reassure yourself that you're just having an emotional flashback, that you've had them before, and you'll be okay. To be totally honest, I hug myself and rock myself gently. I think Pete Walker would see this as soothing my inner child. I have found his book very helpful, and also Dare by Barry McDonagh. His book claims to end anxiety and panic attacks. I haven't found that to be the case, but I have found some very helpful tips and techniques for dealing with them.

u/gemainchains · 5 pointsr/Anxiety

I had only been dealing with anxiety for a very short time, 3 months of non stop panic attacks/depersonalization/nervousness. I honestly was going crazy and afraid of living like this for the rest of my life. I started seeing a therapist, which helped, but not enough. I was afraid of going on medication, so I refused to be prescribed anything. One day while on Amazon, I began browsing through self-help books and stumbled upon Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Panic Attacks, and I began to read. I read the book in 2 days and holy crap I felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I've seen this book get recommended in here a few times. If I could give you all free copies I would. It helped me tremendously and got my life back. I have been doing fine for the past 2 months, I'm not going to tell you that I don't get anxious anymore. I still do every so often, BUT I have learned how to diffuse it. I highly recommend it to everybody. I hope that every one of you will be able to find peace, whether it be through this book or in another way because I know it's hell.

u/jirigoyen · 5 pointsr/Anxiety

Read this book. It helped me to see things in a different perspective:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

u/AncientDragons · 5 pointsr/PanicAttack

I was pretty much housebound and work-bound when I had panic disorder. I couldn't work out, couldn't go places, and couldn't really do much of anything without anxiety. I had a really good therapist that helped me work my way out of all of the anxiety.

I really find this book to captured a lot of what helped me:

I'm not in any way affiliated with the author, by the way, but the method was really helpful for me to deal with any relapses I've had with panic attacks.

Most panic disorder on its own is caused by your beliefs and behaviors and is not a medical or neurological issue. If you can address your thinking and your behaviors, you can begin to minimize the panic.

Also you may want to look in to the books by Claire Weekes on anxiety or "nervous illness" as it was called back in the day. Her principles are sound and she really breaks down the anxiety experience, and its causes and effects, as well as a way to get through it by "floating" and accepting the anxiety without adding additional fear to it.

Best of luck to you, OP. All of these methods work with medication, as well.

u/wasabicupcakes · 5 pointsr/jobs

Read it:,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

> The interviewing process is always the hardest for me. Any advice I would appreciate, please. Thank you.

There is nothing natural about being interviewed. It took me awhile to feel comfortable doing it. My first few interviews were dismal. I use to practice being interviewed by family members. It really did help.

u/gemajema · 3 pointsr/Anxiety


Can I recommend a book that's really helped me?
It's free on kindle if you don't have the funds for it by the way.
It's called Dare and it really helped me when I was having severe anxiety.

A lot of us here have felt what you're feeling and I just wanna let you know that it does/can get better.

You're not alone here :)
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk or we can talk here.

u/deathraypa · 3 pointsr/Anxiety
u/hotlongsnz · 3 pointsr/Agoraphobia

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

I would really recommend this it has provided an indispensable resource for me and has been used by multiple psychologists I have seen.

You mentioned the happiness trap there are plenty more books by Russ Harris which I have found really useful check out his catalog and see if any others pick your fancy.

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

This is very good and sets out a really simple approach to panic attacks.

u/PabloDon · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

Check out the book DARE

Basically to sum it up instead of fighting your anxiety and trying to push it away you have to do the opposite. You have to invite it and demand more. So if you are in a situation where you would normally blush what you do is you tell your self bring it on, show me how red you can get and really try to blush.
What you will see is that when you try to blush it's not working but if you try to avoid blushing that's when it happens.

I used to have a lot of issues with blushing but I live a pretty normal life now.

Feel free to send me a pm if you need someone to talk to.

u/forgot_how_to_user_n · 2 pointsr/fearofflying

I read this book:

Although it is a self-help book which I generally dislike it helped me a lot!

Some other techniques:

  • I took a pen and paper with me and began to write down EVERYTHING I was thinking. Real stream of consciousness kind of thing. Write down any thought that was coming to mind. Like "Fear. Really affraid right now. Why?? I have always been able to do this. Why now??" and so on. I think it helped me not get caught up into any 1 thought.
  • I just went to a flight attendant and let him know as we were boarding. I would say something like:

    - "I am a affraid of flying. Today I'm feeling good, just wanted to let you know."

    or if I wasn't feeling good, then

    - "I am a affraid of flying. Today I'm not feeling very good, but I think I can handle it."

    They are trained to deal with fear of flying and usually help you with whatever they can. It also made the flight feel a little less impersonal.

  • I took anxiolytics (clonazepam). Xanax should work too. When my panic attacks started I had to take 8 flights in two months. For the first flight I took as many drops as I needed to get me calm (12 drops which is A LOT). You should OBVIOUSLY talk to a doctor about this (which I had done before). Then the next flights I tried to lower it. Maybe 9 for the 2nd flight. Then 8 for the 3rd flight. And so on. Until the last flight I didn't have to take any. I've flown a lot since then and maybe in a 3rd of my flights I still have to take the drops.
  • I didn't travel with anyone besides me because that would have made me more nervous. It depends on the person I think.
  • I also talked a lot about it with close friends. Didn't keep it hidden. And before every flight I would write to my girlfriend and maybe another friend or two. "About to take off. Feeling really scared." Most would just write back: "You can do it. It'll be ok." or something to that effect.

    Feel free to write me a pm. I would be glad to help a fellow passenger! :)
u/actaeon9 · 2 pointsr/quittingkratom

Have you read this book? I have had tremendous success with it as an audio book version:

If you believe what he is saying it will at least stop a severe one for a period of time, then just rinse, repeat :). Good luck with the w/d... rock this!!!!

u/gestaltswitch86 · 2 pointsr/CBD

Anytime. Anxiety feeds off of those "what if" thoughts. Honestly, the single best thing I probably did was buy this book and practice the steps it offers for dealing with anxiety. It even addresses exactly the fear that you're bringing up about heart rate and has some good tips for how to think about it, so that you can get back to living.

I did that a lot a while back, and found that checking my pulse (made so easy by my smartwatch) had me thinking about it a lot, and the more attention you pay to it, the more you worry, and the more you worry, the more you increase your anxiety, which causes your heart rate to go up... It's just a horrible, vicious cycle. So whenever I do notice it being fast (because that can be kind of hard to ignore) I just follow the advice in the book and try to remind myself that my heart is an incredibly strong muscle, and it is designed for that and so much more. And, in another context like working out my pulse would hit that or higher, and I wouldn't feel any anxiety about it - because I was trying to get my heart rate up. So whenever I do get those random spikes, or it becomes noticable, I just try to think about the fact that if I were at the gym, I wouldn't think twice about it being at 120, or even 180. Especially because you've ruled out everything else (I did all of that as well - hooray unnecessary EKGs!), then following some steps to frame how you think about and respond to those symptoms might be a good first step for getting out of that vicious cycle.



u/m0n01yth · 2 pointsr/PanicAttack

Mine would happen late at night and I’d only get 2-4hrs of sleep. The first couple times this happened I just pushed through it and eventually stress got to me and I had a mental breakdown. I had other issues happening at the time like my heart would skip while laying down (ended up being diet causing inflamed stomach that pushed a hiatal hernia against my heart causing it to skip). It was a nightmare to try and sleep.

I did a complete 180 of my life. I focused on reducing my stress, stopped eating fast food, sodas, and anything fried. Took a remote job with flexible hours and moved from Ohio to Nashville. Haven’t had one panic attack since changing my routine and eating healthier. I still have anxiety but I can manage it.

But back to the point I would call in maybe twice a month because of panic attack’s.

Buy this book it will change your life. I was able to gain control of my panic attack’s because of it and have a functional life again.

u/ICanHeal · 2 pointsr/CBD

Yes CBD might help.

But you also need to learn to get your situation specific anxiety under control psychologically.

I highly recommend the book "Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks" --

It's a very easy read, can get through it in a couple hours - and the psychological technique it teaches it a really, truly effective at vaporizing this sort of anxiety.

u/meltusmaximus · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Do yourself a favor and get the D.A.R.E response book by Barry McDonaugh.... and STOP MESSING WITH BENZOS... Its a trap, and I have been off Klonopin and Ambien for 3 years. Withdrawl was absolute hell... a truly harrowing experience. In the end, it will stop working and you will run out early. This book saved me from the gallows.



Best wishes.

u/PenSurfer · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Yes, he needs a professional opinion.

According to your post, I can see you really do care and want to help, which is a big step to recovery. It is a long process, so please do not give up on him.

I would suggest read as much literature about anxiety as you can. Why? People who never experienced any panic attacks and anxiety will never comprehend what's it like. He has you, that means you are not judgemental towards his issue, which is a big deal. Don't let him crawl into himself. It will be hard on you, but please don't give up.

It is easier in two, a lot of encouragement, talking about it helps a lot. You both must find which are his fears and slowly go through them together, behavioral therapy will do wonders. He needs to face his fears, there's no other way around it. Keep in mind that it will never go away, it will always be present. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but the good thing about it is that he can learn how to deal with it and eventually it will become a second nature in his thoughts. At the end, anxiety is only a nervous arousal, bodily sensation. He must learn to get comfortable in anxious discomfort.

Important thing is to set rules for everything; life, talks, anxiety, therapy etc... Without rules he'll be in the same spot all the time, not willing to try anything, not moving forward. Rules will make him do it and eventually he'll turn the switch. He needs to acknowledge and accept it, and work work work on it.


Search for:

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks, The Linden Method and Mel Robbins' The 5 Second Rule.

Now, there are even more literature with different approaches, for some people neither of it works. It didn't work for me either, because I was looking for one single fast solution. It didn't work because I didn't know how to tailor it for myself, I just didn't realize it. You need to look at the formula(s) and tailor their methods to suit yourself. Experiment with it.


I'll give you some of my examples:


#1 Dare example

Defuse = What ifs? So what!! Whatever!! Who gives a fuck.

Allow it = I accept and allow this anxious feeling! Embrace it, welcome it, don't resist, smile at it, be curious ...

Run Toward = Feel excited about your anxious thoughts or feelings.

Engage = Occupy yourself with an activity that engages your mind. Don't be idle in your mind.

FORMULA: "Whatever!! I accept and allow this anxious feeling. I'm excited by it as I engage with what's in front of me."

This is the formula, tailor it for yourself.

Sometimes if I sense it creeping up in my thoughts, I will just roughly (D) defuse it with "Fuck off!" or something similar and (E) engage to an activity. You can see, I have used only D and E, from the formula. Use bits and pieces, adding or subtracting if needed, whatever suits you. Sometimes I will use the entire formula, it depends how hard it is.


#2 Five sec example

I also use The 5 Second Rule. I would close my eyes, take a deep breath and count slowly 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 and I will repeat "I'm excited, not afraid, I'm excited not afraid, I'm excited not afraid ..." while thinking some positive thoughts. Afterwards, I engage with what's in front of me.


#3 Song example

I love the song by Florence + The Machine - Spectrum, it always makes me happy. So sometimes I will sing this verse in my head:

Say my name (Fear, Anxiety, Depression etc...)

And every color illuminates (Positive vibes)

We are shining (I am better then this)

And we will never be afraid again (Embracing, allowing, going away)"


You see, you need to find what suits you, tailor it for yourself. Of course, this is a long process, but it works if you are willing to grind for it.


Lastly, I don't know what is your lifestyle, but all kinds of issues including anxiety can be related with bad gut microbiome and inflammations in your system. Try to eat clean whole foods, cut all the bad habits. Even if it doesn't do anything, you'll feel healthier after all. Oh and exercise will do wonders, as well. You need to be consistent with it.


Hope this helps!


u/WholesomeAsFck · 1 pointr/panicdisorder

Have you read “Dare”?

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

I think Audible has a sale right now so you can get three months at $8 so you can get the audiobook version. It has helped me tremendously and from what I read it sounds like it could help you, too.

u/OrbitRock · 1 pointr/Psychonaut

A lot of it is about how you react to anxiety in the moment, IMO. The feeling could put you into a loop, and most of that is if you react to it in the wrong way.

This is kind of not what your asking for, but also is very related, but the advice in this book is very, very good for how to respond to heightened states of anxiety in a way that doesn't escalate or perpetuate it but actually acts to defuse it.

Very important skill for dealing with strong psychedleic drugs. At the same time, could be very helpful in your life even without any drug involvement, the advice helped me out a lot.


u/hellohydration · 1 pointr/Anxiety

This is a popular one, and I've started reading it. Easy read and straight to the point.

u/wagamo · 1 pointr/leaves

Don't panic, this is normal. These are actually symptoms of anxiety and small panic attacks that occur. Give this a read:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks (

It helped me understand what was happening to me and how to actually heal from it. Best 15 bucks ever spent.

u/jaromdl · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I read this book recently. It was very helpful.

u/soaringnflyin · 1 pointr/Residency

Honestly, read the book DARE. It will work wonders. I read it and implemented its strategies and my panic attacks have literally faded within weeks. I can now do pt presentations with a poise I never had before. It's incredible! The thing is this: you are more anxious about your symptoms (cramps, palpitations, etc) than what you think you're anxious about (work related matters).


u/FE4RCHAMP · 1 pointr/depression_help

Ever heard of Bryan Cranston ? He was 44 when he started Malcom in the middle, then went on to do Breaking Bad which we all love , and now more and more movies

This is easy, find comedy club sign up. No one has ever said “I regret trying to hard for my dream” . Will Smith was a rapper and some random person at a party told him about Fresh Prince.

Some self help: Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

Good line I like is “See your problems for what they are not for what you think they are” people now aday live to 100 . You’re not even half way there. Good you recognize the problem . Get up and get moving. You are your best motivator (and procrastinator if you allow)

u/birddawg913 · 1 pointr/Anxiety

There are ways to combat anxiety. I use to have severe anxiety and now it's just mild. CBD Hemp oil (if legal in your state) ,ashwagandha, magnesium chloride flakes, and essential oils are all excellent choices. Also get this book

u/WaterLily66 · 1 pointr/decaf

Hey! It sounds like you might be dealing with a self perpetuating anxiety cycle. It might have been triggered by quitting, or might have just been from the panic attack. Getting panic attacks often leaves the body in high alert indefinitely, like a fire that keeps burning as long as it gets oxygen. There are communities and resources of other people dealing with it, and it’s treatable!

The most clinically proven treatment is CBT. Check out Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry (
A clinical psychotherapist highly recommended it to me.

I’m also interested in this book(

I also quit caffeine after a panic attack, and I think the panic attack has even more severe after effects than quitting the caffeine, and that quitting caffeine causes symptoms that can lead to anxiety. It’s a cycle, but your on the way to breaking it!

u/Lpk44 · 1 pointr/asmr

Thanks! I'm watching it right now.

i've started reading this book recently which has helped me a lot lately. not sure if you have any interest in it but maybe some others could.

u/riatonmiguelito · 1 pointr/Reformed

I stopped because I wasn't sure the practice was good in the eyes of the Lord, but also I found other ways of coping with it. This book became really useful.

Basically it just says that when you're feeling really anxious just acknowledge it, realize it's not really a big deal and distract your mind with other thoughts. It sounds simple but it's not a very common advice to manage it.

u/icshackleford · 1 pointr/Anxietyhelp

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

u/Overcome_Anxiety_OAR · 1 pointr/Anxiety

This guy has some great episodes, and is a nice dude:

Here is one for managing anxiety attacks specifically:

I also found Claire Weekes's talks to be extremely helpful:

This book is also popular and has helped many people:

It may sound strange but a lot of the suffering comes from resisting the sensations and appraising them as 'bad' and 'dangerous', and being overly fixated and pre-occupied with bodily sensations. For example, you might now be scanning your body frequently looking for more signs that another attack is coming on. This creates more nervous tension which can lead to more anxiety. In my personal experience of recovering from anxiety, I have done best when I've embodied an attitude of 'Bring it on, I can handle whatever is thrown me.'

Let me / us know if you have any questions.

u/alpacino19 · 1 pointr/cringe

Agreed. What helps when I have social anxiety (usually around those in authority or who have say-so in hiring decisions), I say to myself "so what?" because your anxiety is essentially telling you "what if?" questions. "What if" they think I'm stupid, what if they think I'm not competent, what if I'm not good enough. Fuck that shit.

Your stutter shouldn't be held against you, but I think that piece on social anxiety single handed gave me the confidence to speak to people in authority without shaking in my boots. It will help.

Also this book by Barry McDonagh. This is taken directly from his material (at least my therapist says so).

u/Rangizingo · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Amazed this book hasn't be suggested yet, but 100% Dare.

This book has changed my life. Genuinely, honestly. Please, look at it .

u/Spacemonster · 1 pointr/Assistance

A subreddit to check out:

~TLDR: I can relate and I recommend you read this book: Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks
Psychologists use the technique described in this book to help their patients and it can do wonders.
Sorry for the wall of text. This is something that I struggle with a lot. Though it is not a fear of being attacked physically but being hurt emotionally. Social anxiety turns me into an awkward person to be around. Usually a quiet one.

My family (even at the age of 34) still treat me as the youngest. They still talk down to me. (I'm younger so I must be less knowledgeable) As a child, my siblings did an excellent job at making sure that I knew that I was the youngest and therefore stupid. This caused a huge insecurity about my intelligence which causes huge anxiety about sounding even remotely unintelligent in front of anyone. Getting talked down to is a huge fear of mine.

I used to have a hard time going to restaurants as I would get anxiety just approaching the door. My body wouldn't allow me to go through and a few times I asked if my fiancé would go inside to get the hostess to let them know that we would like to sit outside because I just couldn't walk through the door. I have fewer problems with this now but this was just general anxiety as a result of all the clanking dishes and smells and lights and music and people around me making it impossible to focus or relax. It was a combination of over stimulation of the senses and a turbulent living environment at the time. Though I still struggle with going to the grocery store. I get overwhelmed by the people and all the options and of course (what feels like) that necessary attempt to create small talk with the cashier.

I hate speaking on the phone too. Even when I know I need to make the call. Like my grandmother who is about to have open heart surgery but I can't get up the nerve to even call her. She is a very opinionated woman and will guilt trip me for not staying in contact or because I have a 10 year old kid with my partner and we still aren't married or because I never call her and I'm only calling her now because there is a chance she could die.

This is how anxiety works. It is a never ending circle in your brain of "what ifs".
There is a book I recommend reading called "Dare". Anxiety is paralyzing and comes in all forms and this book is great for any and all forms of anxiety.

Despite the different forms of anxiety, it usually starts the same way.

"What if"

  • 'What if I get on the phone with my grandmother and she starts guilt tripping me?'
  • 'What if I call her and she says that I'm only calling because she might die?'
  • 'What if I don't ever call her and she dies and then I feel guilty for a really long time for not calling and my self esteem takes a huge hit or she doesn't die but I didn't call so it makes her feel like I don't care and despite the fact that we don't have a close relationship, I actually do care?'

    Or in your case:

  • 'What if I interact with my family/friends/coworkers and they start yelling at me?'
  • 'What if I go out and meet someone new and they end up physically attacking me?'

    This book goes into what to do with these 'what if' questions and how to tackle them. It starts by answering with 'So what?' and to stop resisting anxiety. Anxiety only exists because you are resisting it. You know you will get anxiety if you go out and try to interact with people, so you don't do it. It is this resistance that causes the anxiety in the first place.

    This has been a life long struggle for me and I'm only just now starting to take control of it. It's a long process. However, one thing you can do now if you struggle with it on a daily basis is to start reading that book and also look in to taking some magnesium. Talk to your doctor and read up on how magnesium might help.