Reddit Reddit reviews Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

We found 10 Reddit comments about Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
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10 Reddit comments about Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission:

u/MsMissyLynn · 21 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

She exposed herself to you, she opened up and told you a huge personal secret, and you judged her for it. Just because she didn't seem too upset at the time doesn't mean she wasn't. You rejected a core, deep part of her. Of course she isn't wanting to have sex and be vulnerable and intimate with you right now.

You can either unfuck this by apologizing for judging her and trying to at least intellectually understand where she's coming from, or you can continue to reject her sexuality as unhealthy. Do the first, and you'll make some progress. If you're going to do the second, just break it off with her now.

If you want to work on understanding D/s I recommend reading "Different Loving."

http://www.amazon.com/Different-Loving-Sexual-Dominance-Submission/dp/0679769560/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414858741&sr=8-1&keywords=different+loving

Best of luck.

u/belowthepovertyline · 6 pointsr/BDSMcommunity

I think especially where you're long distance, it's easier for you to see the relationship in the exact light you want to see it. You're not reading into body language or mannerisms in the same way you would in a 1:1 setting. You've been given no visible reason not to trust him. I'm pointing this out specifically only because it hasn't been addressed in the other comments, not because I think it's good or bad, just trying to be objective.

I'll recommend a great read I found years ago, Different Loving (brame/brame/jacobs). the amazon link is eloquenter than me

u/Jeremadz · 4 pointsr/BDSMcommunity

Different Loving Is basically considered the bible to BDSM. It is written like a research book with history, anecdotal stories, descriptions, etc.

u/preparanoid · 3 pointsr/AskReddit

Read Different Loving and be open with her. If you like it, enjoy it. It isn't for everybody but it is "normal".

Edit, "[" fix

u/Powerless_- · 2 pointsr/BDSMcommunity

Read some real literature. I haven't yet, but here are some suggestions:

The Loving Dominant

The Topping Book

Different Loving

u/OldLT99 · 2 pointsr/bdsm

Don't use rope if you are just starting out. If you insist on using rope make sure to have a sharp pair of trauma shears to cut her out if things get to deep and you can't get the knots out. I would suggest you use old ties or go buy some straps from your local fetish shop. Depending on what you plan to get into besides the bondage (spanking, sensation play, pets) setting safe words and talking though things is a must. Besides it is amazing how turned on it will make both of you. For it to work it has to make you both happy.
Talking through with her will let you know more of what she is interested in, willing to try, and not willing to try. That way it keeps everything moving in the right direction for both of you. Consensual and safe is the key. Once a safe word or signal is used everything has to stop immediately and should end the scene. Take her out of the room and talk things through. Then if you want to move forward with something else you can start fresh. There are some decent books I would suggest you both read. There are also some great blogs depending on what you are looking for.
https://www.amazon.com/Different-Loving-Sexual-Dominance-Submission/dp/0679769560

u/zorkie · 2 pointsr/BDSMcommunity

http://www.amazon.com/Different-Loving-Sexual-Dominance-Submission/dp/0679769560

http://www.amazon.com/America-Unzipped-Search-Sex-Satisfaction/dp/0307351327

i found those books really helpful when i was researching something similar... if i find any of my other references i'll let you know

u/mkultra42 · 1 pointr/BDSMcommunity
u/bearddeliciousbi · 1 pointr/sex

BDSM is the last sort of sexual activity that people should just throw themselves into in order to "see what happens" without going in-depth with their partner(s) about their needs, desires, fantasies, and expectations and providing opportunities for understanding and negotiation.

As any kinkster will tell you, awesome, mind-blowing, fulfilling sex lying within the BDSM spectrum (and that kind of sex in general) is built on three things: communication, communication, and communication.

The good people over at /r/BDSMcommunity would be able to answer a lot of questions that might arise once you've discussed things openly and honestly with your girlfriend. Here are some great print resources you should look into:

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, by Jay Wiseman

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge, edited by Tristan Taormino

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission, by William Brame, Gloria Brame, and Jon Jacobs

The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

u/JakeLackless · 1 pointr/BDSMcommunity

Not 100% on point, but Different Loving is a very good treatment of BDSM generally. Section Three has chapters devoted to pain and sensation and such. Might be a good read for you.