Reddit reviews Emergent Design: The Evolutionary Nature of Professional Software Development (paperback) (Net Objectives Lean-Agile Series)

I'm going to take a shot at this.

Don't be afraid, software is one of those field where you can still make something of yourself alone and without a degree, very few fields allow that.

Although real college is not an option for you but an online degree might be. Check out udacity.com get a nano degree to show some worth.

Find a field of interest. Coding is just not one simple thing, there are lots of fields to work in. Web Dev, embedded, security, imaging etc. All these field have specialization too but ignore that for right now. Find something that interests you and something that you think you can manage alone. Web Dev is a great area to look into for this but if you have hardware experience you can do some embedded stuff too. Mobile is also a great path.

Your issues might not allow you to work in a team environment either. So start doing things on your own. Use these guys to get feedback on your code. http://codereview.stackexchange.com/

Start and complete a full project. That is the only way you can learn about certain processes. Read a book on software design, personally I like this one https://www.amazon.com/Emergent-Design-Evolutionary-Professional-Development/dp/0321889061

but there are several other greats too. Derek Banas on youtube has several great videos about design patterns too.

Once you learn a language and development environment try to see what other frameworks might be out there or what other IDE's might be out there.

When you have a complete working project use it to get freelance work.

Read code, lots of it. you may not see the benefit of it now but soon you will be picking up good practices and tricks from the experts.

Sorry my thoughts are all over the place but hope this helps or at least gives you some direction.

You will be fine just keep pushing through, it might take some time but work and money will come.