Reddit Reddit reviews Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know

We found 55 Reddit comments about Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know
Expecting Better Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong And What You Really Need to Know
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55 Reddit comments about Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know:

u/Brandon432 · 112 pointsr/Showerthoughts

Actually... it is. At least during the ovulation window. Daily intercourse reduces sperm count... but not by half, which is what you'd have to believe for an every-other-day strategy to make more sense.

An example with somewhat arbitrary, very simplified numbers:

  • Every other day: 50% of days x 100% sperm count x 50% general chaos = 25% chance

  • Everyday: 100% of days x 75% sperm count x 50% general chaos= 38% chance

    Factor in that you are guaranteed to the hit the perfect day in her cycle if you try everyday and the difference in effectiveness increases. Of course, there is lots more complexity e.g. being a day early isn't that bad b/c sperm hangs around for a while, but being a day late is more likely to be a deal killer.

    Source: Meta study of dozens of medical studies on the subject, as outlined in Expecting Better. https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702

    Edit: Added source, words
u/26shadesofwhite · 52 pointsr/blogsnark

Expecting Better by Emily Oster offers some good perspective on what “they” tell you to avoid vs. real risks to your pregnancy.

Personally, listeria is something I didn’t want to risk. Unlike run-of-the-mill food poisoning, listeria can pose a risk to the fetus. I chose to avoid raw milk products, cold smoked foods, and certain raw fruits and vegetables unless I knew they were washed.

u/deadasthatsquirrel · 51 pointsr/BabyBumps

Well, I'm still having caffeine, sushi, deli meat and the odd glass of booze (god bless Expecting Better!), so definitely sleeping on my stomach, being able to walk fast, and not having to pee all. the. time.

u/moieoeoeoist · 40 pointsr/BabyBumps

Drink the wine! If you can trust yourself to drink slowly and stop at one, treat yo self girl!

[Expecting Better] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143125702/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_8L9.zbHZQZXAW)

u/pippx · 29 pointsr/BabyBumps

> I'm thinking of calling our parents out of safety (and excitement) but asking no one to come until my husband and I give the OK.

Just because you ask them not to come does not mean they will honor that. If I had family in the area, I personally would not call until after baby was born.

> What if I go into labor at work? Can you drive yourself to the hospital?!

It is very unlikely that you will go into labor and then be right around the corner from having a baby. It's more likely that you'll start noticing signs of labor and then not need to be at the hospital for several hours -- or even days. You will probably have a fine time driving yourself to the hospital.

> How soon after birth did you let people visit?

Totally personal preference. I didn't want people around me for a few days, some people want half their family in the delivery room with them while they're pushing. It all comes down to what you are comfortable with (and probably also what your hospital's policies are).

> Did you really sneak snacks into your bag?

I didn't. You should also try and do a tour of your hospital or birthing center to ask about their food policies -- not all places have a ban on food while in labor. I was actually aloud anything "clear" and was brought jello, lots of hot broth, etc.

> Did you have to be naked for the birth or did they let you keep a gown (planning on bringing my own light gown) or t-shirt on?!

I don't know of any place that requires you to be naked for birth... There is a good chance that they will prefer you to change into a hospital gown, as they are designed to have access to the back (for something like an epidural placement) and usually open at the shoulders so that once baby is born you can have an easier time with skin to skin and nursing (if you chose to do those things).

> I hate the idea of my tits hanging out, hah.

You will find that a lot of your sense of modesty sort of flies out the window when you're in labor. Once my son was born there were probably 12 people in the room and most of them had clear site of not only my tits but my vulva and everything else. They're medical professionals though, so you should be able to get over it.

I would recommend lurking around here for a while and reading as much as you can. The book Expecting Better will also do a lot for clearing up many of the outdated or confusing information that surrounds pregnancy as well as labor. I highly recommend reading it.

u/superflat42 · 17 pointsr/science

Exactly, this low level of exposure (1.5-2 drinks) is quite high. Most pregnant women are told to absolutely avoid any alcohol- even a sip of wine or beer. However, most research shows that the low exposure that you mention (.5 glass wine) especially late in pregnancy is not associated with negative outcomes. Emily Oster (an economist) does a good systematic literature search on this topic-Expecting Better Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702

u/LandlockedSiren · 16 pointsr/BabyBumps

My OB said that listeria is just an odds thing and that according to the CDC the same year soft cheeses had a listeria outbreak there was one in ICE CREAM - and you don't hear a single pregnant woman being denied their precious ice cream haha. So basically the moral of the story is that people latch onto some of these more than others for no particular reason. There have also been recent outbreaks in other foods that pregnant women aren't advised to never touch ever again. All of that to say listeria is very serious and we have to be vigilant but it's also important to educate yourself on what should truly be avoided. I recommend the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster who does a great job outlining what you really should or shouldn't do according to science and data - but makes it crazy easy to understand and you'll feel 1000x better and more comfortable navigating the world as a pregnant person after reading it.

u/jmiles540 · 9 pointsr/predaddit

My wife really liked this book. It's written by an economist who looked at what really needs to be avoided and what is hype, based on data.

u/vyndree · 9 pointsr/BabyBumps

Just get it toasted. Cooking kills listeria.

Eat all the lunch meat you want, just cook it first.

If he's still not convinced, make him eat the same diet he's demanding for you and see how quickly things change. I never empathized with the sheer quantity of "things that will kill you that you should not do/eat" until I actually got pregnant - I always just assumed it was alcohol and raw fish and that's it.

Also, have him read this book, which doesn't make decisions for you but does actually put some perspective on a lot of the panic/handwaving topics related to pregnancy.

u/comment_moderately · 7 pointsr/Parenting

Yeah, dad here. You know what's worse for everyone? Fucking fighting about shit.

A few parenting decisions are big: Should we have a child? (Only if you want one.) Should we have him vaccinated? (Yes.) Should we feed him? (Yes.) Should we talk to him? (Yes.) Should we have him sit in front of the TV for 5 hours every day? (No.)

But most of parenting decisions seem pretty marginal. (Which book should I read to the kid? Who gives a fuck!) There will be many, many food-related decisions. This is only one of many.

The question for him is "do I want my wife seriously uncomfortable, but breastfeeding," or "do I want my wife more comfortable, but using formula", the drawbacks from the difference between comfortable and not-comfortable (added stress, fighting, resenting the child) may well obviate most of the (limited) benefits from breastfeeding.

But---like all serious, even marginal decisions, this is the sort of question you can run by your pediatrician. They'll fill you in on some of the science. (And I like this book, which hints that most parenting decisions aren't yes or no, but grey scale.)

For the record: we breastfed (or fed the kid bottled breastmilk) until 6? months, then moved to formula & solids as quickly as possible. (PS: what about pumping and holding kiddo while she drinks from a bottle?)

u/girlpwr2019 · 7 pointsr/pregnant

Avoid unpasteurized cheese. I know there’s a long list of things pregnant women “shouldn’t eat,” but there’s not a lot of proof for some of those things (e.g., coffee, sushi). However, unpasteurized cheese, which is often used in Mexican cheese dips, should be avoided due to the risk of listeria. If you want to read more about data-backed pregnancy advice, check out this book: Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143125702/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_SHe4CbRWQ3VTA

Overall though, you’ll be fine! At 7 weeks, baby is tucked away safe. Have fun!!

u/123mommy123 · 7 pointsr/MomForAMinute

Oh sweetie, I think this is something everyone thinks about, and I don't know if you ever really feel "ready" to have kids. I know that I didn't--but 2 healthy kiddos later, we figured it out. We wanted to wait until we both had jobs, had our living situation figured out, and had been married for at least a couple of years. We felt "ready" and we started to try. I was still terrified when I found out I was expecting. Only you and your partner can decide when you feel "ready", but realize that it will never be the perfect time to have kids. Also, as a woman, you do want to keep in mind that the older you get, the harder it might be to get pregnant. (Not for everyone, but statistically.) It's something to keep in mind as you plan.

If you feel like you might be almost ready, talk to your partner about it. Talk about your hesitations. Are they big giant roadblock? of just little speed bumps? Does he have any ideas on how to work through them with you? Are you scared about being pregnant? having the baby? caring for the baby? What are your (and his) concerns?

Once you feel like you have worked through your major concerns, maybe set a date to stop trying to prevent (you have been using something to not get pregnant, right? that's important too) or a date to start trying. We waited until after a big trip we had been planning. Then, keep talking. Share your fears with him. Talk through them together. Maybe do some research or learning. It helped me to read about what to expect. Some books that I enjoyed or found helpful were:

​

Pregnancy Related:

  • Expecting Better by Emily Oster
  • What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
  • Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy

    Babies:

  • Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
  • Wonder Weeks by Frans Plooij
  • What to Expect the First Yearby Heidi Murkoff
  • Cribsheet by Emily Oster (wasn't around for me, but I loved her first book, so you might give it a shot)

    ​

    If you like to read, maybe give one or two a shot. You can also check out /r/Parenting and/or /r/BabyBumps to see what real parents are saying. Try to find some local moms to talk to about their experience--they can be a good support group later too.

    If you are a planner, do some checking on things that you might need to know about (daycare, pediatricians, etc) if that makes you feel better. Look at costs, locations, ratings, whatever you need to do to feel secure.

    Realize that even if you decide you are "ready" you may still freak out a little bit once it happens. Having a baby is scary and life changing, but that's okay! You can do this! You are awesome!

    Also, here's a little secret that no one talks about --no one knows what they are doing with raising kiddos, we all just fake it til we make it and muddle our way through the best we can. I still feel like I'm just pretending to be an grown up with kids.
u/quince23 · 6 pointsr/TTC30

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which describes in detail how changes in your cycle impact your body, allowing you to figure out your most fertile days.

Expecting Better, a book by a kick-ass economist. She goes through all the pregnancy recommendations and digs up the initial studies to say what the evidence actually says.

Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn - just what it says on the tin

"All Joy and No Fun" and "Why Have Kids?" are interesting reads if you want to examine parenthood in American culture, but are less relevant for the TTC process.

u/[deleted] · 6 pointsr/GenderCritical

I have not been pregnant, but I have chatted with women who have kids about this topic. I think Emily Oster’s Expecting Better is really helpful for some people.

Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143125702/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Ul0CAbYBXMS5C

It’s not explicitly feminist, but it does offer an excellent critique of patriarchal medicine - in that Oster reviews all sorts of pregnancy “advice” given to her by doctors and finds that much of it is based on old information, doesn’t consider the patient’s agency, etc. She also reviews the literature and summarizes what she think it indicates about, for example, avoiding coffee or soft cheeses while pregnant.

u/BabyBOct16 · 6 pointsr/BabyBumps

Congrats!!

Tips and suggestions... you're going to get nausea... I kept peppermints, gum, and crackers in my purse for at least the first 8-10 weeks. You never know when it's going to strike! Oh, and ginger ale was my bff for a while!

What to Expect is a fantastic book! If your husband is looking for one, I would recommend The Expectant Father. My fiance is reading it at the recommendation of my brother (who has two kiddos) and they love it!

If you're wondering about the studies of drinking/no drinking, chances for birth defects or miscarriage, and all the crazy polar stuff you see on the web... I recommend picking up Expecting Better written by an economist who analyzes all these studies, just in laymen's terms! It's comforting to know what's what, etc.

Other than that, welcome to baby bumps! There's SO much info that gets passed around here that I have found so incredibly helpful. If you have questions, ask. If you have fun things to share, share it!

u/bhizzle114 · 5 pointsr/breakingmom

I feel like this book realllllly helped me during this phase. It calmed my first time mom fears. Apart from normal FTM anxiety, it sounds like telling her to let her OB know what’s going on is great advise. My anxiety got so bad I was out on Zoloft around 20 weeks. Really helped.

u/squidboots · 5 pointsr/February2018Bumpers

So here's what "Expecting Better" by Emily Oster (I highly recommend the book btw) has to say on the subject. It's on pp. 128-130 (slightly abridged for relevancy to the question), emphasis is mine.

>...

> You are exposed to cosmic radiation all the time, but when you fly the levels of radiation are higher than they are on the ground because there is less atmosphere to protect you. In general, there is a recommended limit on radiation exposure over the course of your pregnancy (technically, it's 1 mSv, but that probably has no more meaning for you than it does for me).

> This is probably very conservative. Based on nonairline sources of radiation exposure (X-rays, for example), we do know that it can increase the risk of both miscarriage and birth defects, but only at exposure levels about 20 times higher than the recommended limit. There is some evidence, however, of an increased risk of childhood cancers at lower levels than this. One set of studies suggested that exposure to twice the recommended limit would increase the risk of offspring ever having a fatal cancer by 1 in 50,000.^10

> Unless you travel very frequently you are unlikely to reach even the most conservative limit for radiation exposure. One flight from Chicago to Boston would deliver about 1 percent of the limit. Long-haul international flights are worse: the longest available flight delivers about 15 percent of the limit. This might seem like a lot (if you take more than three round trips from New York to Tokyo you're over the limit), but it is worth noting that this is less than 1 percent of the level at which there is any actual demonstrated risk of birth defects or miscarriage.^11

> Consistent with this, at least one study that compared infant outcomes for women who did and did not fly during their pregnancies found no difference in preterm birth, fetal loss, or neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admission.^12

> ...

> What about the full body scanners at the airport? Again, those work with X-rays, and therefore entail some radiation exposure. These levels of exposure are quite small -- maybe on the order of 0.01 percent of the 1 mSv limit -- so they are probably not something to worry about. In practice, at least for the moment, most airports have normal metal detectors as well as the full body scan, and pregnant women are generally pointed toward the non-X-ray option. If you are worried, you can always opt for the pat down. It's not enjoyable, but it's radiation-free.

----------------------------------------

>^10. ^R. ^J. ^Barish, ^"In-Flight ^Radiation ^Exposure ^During ^Pregnancy," ^Obstetrics ^& ^Gynecology ^103, ^no. ^6 ^(2004):1326-30.

> ^11. ^Ibid.

> ^12. ^M. ^Freeman ^et ^al, ^"Does ^Air ^Travel ^Affect ^Pregnancy ^Outcome?," ^Archives ^of ^Gynecology ^and ^Obstetrics ^269, ^no. ^4 ^(May, ^2004):274-77.

u/BeerTwin613 · 5 pointsr/pregnant

I found the advice in Expecting Better is super helpful, basically most of the medical literature indicates that you shouldn't stress about it! It's better to gain a little more than the recommended than not gain enough. Plus 90% of women return to their normal weight by 24 months postpartum. As long as your eating mostly nutritious, whole foods, and staying active, you're doing good!

u/kelsoberry · 5 pointsr/predaddit

I didn’t think I was spreading misinformation. All the evidence I’ve seen Expecting Better does a dive into the research. all evidence she found was that they weren't worth it in the end. my US based OB office agreed. reading up on r/BabyBumps and most women there also opt for the risk if tearing vs a cut.

fwiw Im happy to take interventions, i welcome my epidural and my priority is to minimize pain and healing time.

everyone is different and should talk to their doctor, do their research and decide for themselves. if you disagree thats okay, ill never change your mind. we will just need to agree to disagree and hope for safe deliveries all around.

edit: [HuffPo article as well](https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/22/episiotomy-childbirth-guidelines_n_1799394.html. Maybe we're agreeing and don't realize it? I'm not saying never/ever, but that they were once routine in the US and now they're relatively rare. They were common place but now are reserved if the doctor thinks there are extenuating circumstances (super giant baby head, or a shoulder is stuck and there is no time to reposition the baby). Episiotomy rates in the US have been dropping over the past several decades. I have no idea what they are compared to NZ or other countries, maybe yall never had the over-eager doctors we had in the 50's who would cut too early, too deep and too often.

u/Chambellan · 4 pointsr/predaddit

I'm going to catch some flack for this, but the total prohibition on alcohol is, under most circumstances, not justified by science. Read Expecting Better for a good summary. If you really don't want your families to know, it would be reasonable for her to sip a glass of wine over the course of the evening. If you really what to throw them off, when the two of you are alone, you take a pull off her glass so people notice the volume of her glass changing, her getting a refill, etc.

u/Oblivinatior · 4 pointsr/BabyBumps

But what is the real risk you'll go into emergency surgery where you're completely under? Expecting Better says that because of advances in anesthesia you're more likely to die in a car accident on the way to hospital than you are from aspiration from vomiting during surgery. It's a dumb rule and if my hospital tries to push it on me I'll be fighting it. What are they going to do, search my bag?

u/ally-saurus · 4 pointsr/breakingmom

There is a book called Expecting Better that is precisely about this. It does not tell you what to do or what not to do. It tells you just HOW SAFE (or to put it another way, how risky) certain behaviors are during pregnancy, so that YOU can decide where your personal line comes in. It's written by a woman who works with statistics and analysis who was basically stunned by how unfounded all the advice she got during her pregnancy was - like how nobody could quantify or even elaborate on the risks they were asserting, etc, so she examined basically all the studies on all these things from all the freaking countries in the world that have ever done studies, and analyzed them as she would other statistical data, and she shares her findings. Sometimes she also shares her personal conclusions - what she does with those findings - but she always emphasizes that her conclusions are personal and that yours, even working with the exact same data, may vary and that's okay.

Fuck "better safe than sorry." I ate pretty much anything I wanted when pregnant - deli meat, sushi, etc. I had some beer here and there as well. I drank coffee and slept in whatever position I wanted to sleep in and I gained as much weight as my body seemed to want to without ever giving a fuck, whether it was a week where I was told I gained "too little" or a week where I was told I gained "too much." These were my personal decisions and they may not be the right decisions for everybody. But they were mine and I felt confident making them because I had 100000% more knowledge of the actual research and facts on any of these topics than any random fuck who gasped, "Don't eat that deli sandwich!!! You're pregnant!"

By far the most controversial part of the book is her analysis of drinking studies. It gets crazy down votes and bad reviews for that and I understand why. But even if you disagree with her personal conclusions on the topic, the rest of the book is pretty good - definitely a solid read for a rare injection of sanity.

u/owlsayshoot · 3 pointsr/predaddit

Of course you should know the ins and outs and whys. Is anything stopping you from doing your own research? You shouldn’t trust your medical professional blindly, nor should you write off his/her advice without doing your own research. This book is great for that: Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong-and What You Really Need to Know https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143125702/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_XeC8Ab45EKKE1 written by a data analyst who had the same questions you do.

Some risk assessment is valid to protect mom, some is to protect the baby, some is overblown, and some is to protect the care provider. None of it is intended to “police your fun” which was my main point in responding. The job of the midwife has zero concern about your fun, changing your attitude about that could help your outlook on the whole pregnancy.

u/tunabuttons · 3 pointsr/BabyBumps

Another vote for both of the Emily Oster books, and the best practical book I've read is Heading Home with Your Newborn. Also this one's not a pregnancy book but I would strongly recommend How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen if you're at all scared of the toddler through kinder stage. It's an entertaining read that aligns well with developmental psychology and has all these really funny real life examples of using the strategies from the book.

If I had to only pick a handful, I'd pick those.

I also liked the Ina May book which people will recommend a lot, but keep in mind it really is exclusively about childbirth and it's a bit crunchier than the average (though this pertains to the birth stories included more than Ina May's actual writing IMO). There's a good interview with her on the Longest Shortest Time podcast that addresses some of the things I felt the book could have benefited from stating outright to avoid sounding a little preachy at times.

If you're looking for like a detailed read that starts with absolute basics that would be especially good for anyone who hasn't researched much on pregnancy before, I would recommend Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide. It's as thick as a textbook but it doesn't read like one. They have a page in most sections directly speaking to partners as well, which is neat.

u/wutwasthatagain · 3 pointsr/BabyBumps

Thanks for the suggestion. Just to be sure we're on the same page about the book is it this?

http://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong--/dp/0143125702/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452546982&sr=8-1&keywords=expecting+better

Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is wrong - and what you really need to know, by Emily Oster?

Thanks!

u/ihas · 3 pointsr/August2016Bumpers

I really like Expecting Better. It has eased so many worries I had - I'm even back to drinking a cup of coffee per day, and I'd been too nervous to do it before.

Stay away from http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Illustrated-Pregnancy-Companion-Week/dp/1592333583 though. It had me sobbing within the first 10 pages over (a totally overblown and overstated) fear of an ectopic.

u/mdesty · 3 pointsr/daddit

Zero is the only “acceptable” amount according to most of the medical literature. However, that’s mostly because it’s hard to commission studies that require women to drink heavily during pregnancy to study the effects! If you haven’t already, check out Expecting Better , it really helped me put all the “risks” in perspective.

In answer to your original question, the safest thing is abstinence. Anecdotally, my wife had the occasional single glass of wine, or a beer now and then once she got out of the first trimester.

u/librul-snowflake · 3 pointsr/SeattleWA

Before you judge: https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702

It's only trashy because the USA is fucking weird about things. They can't understand moderation or grey areas, so we have to resort to outright banning in order to get people to pay attention.

the fact is, MOST stuff in moderation is just fine. read the book, even things like "double the risk of autism" still has it down in the <0.0001% risk factor.

Seriously, it's a good book and pretty enlightening.

u/zuggyziggah · 3 pointsr/CautiousBB

I stay under 200 mg per day but generally have a soda or coffee daily. When my oldest was in the NICU, she was given straight caffeine via ng tube to help regulate her nervous system, so I know that caffeine is not as dangerous to babies as some sources say. The book Expecting Better has a really good chapter with lots of research into caffeine.

u/molotovmimi · 3 pointsr/Fencesitter

They're two different books of hers that she talked about in a podcast I love.

Cribsheet is about raising a healthy human puppy and Expecting Better is about the actual pregnancy itself and all the conventional wisdom that doesn't seem to be backed up by any hard data.

u/rahinral · 3 pointsr/pregnant

woah, rude. everyone has the right to do what makes them feel comfortable. there's actually research that 1-2 glasses a week in first trimester and up to 1 a day after that is safe. there's a good book that talks about how these risks are likely wayyy overblown.

u/prairie-bunyip · 3 pointsr/pregnant

You're fine. I didn't have my first visit until about 10 weeks, and then another 4 weeks until my first ultrasound.

Read some books, starting with Expecting Better. That one will help you cut through a lot of the crap you're going to hear from people in the next few months. Good luck!

u/ImpossibleDevice6 · 3 pointsr/TryingForABaby

The book Expecting Better has really good information about morning sickness (including stats on likelihood of experiencing it) and multiple levels of intervention you can take with your doctor.

From what I remember, basically all the options for reducing morning sickness have extremely little/no risk to the developing fetus, but women can be very resistant to taking any meds during pregnancy so doctors don't always recommend them. In your case I would ask for them early and discuss this with your doctor so you can know the options you have available to you. Especially if the idea of vomiting is going to cause you lots and lots of stress, taking something preventative could help you remain more calm during early pregnancy.

u/sadie0922 · 3 pointsr/CautiousBB

Ehhh I've just been using common sense, and I really liked the book Expecting Better. She goes into they Whys and Statistics and Research of things we're told to avoid and then we can make our own judgement based on the Actual risk with percentages and numbers.

I've had non-heated lunchmeat multiple times so far - from the Amish market or busy supermarket deli, or from a super busy/known sub-shop. I will not have it from a hole-in-the-wall sub-shop and if I get it from the deli I won't eat it past like a day in the fridge. There's more risk of listeria from frozen veggies or produce than from lunchmeat but no one says anything about that.

I've avoided raw sushi because even the reputable places can carry parasites without knowing it, but I have no problem with the cooked kind (and would regularly get veggie sushi before even becoming pregnant - sweet potato rolls are amazing).

I'm not a caffeine/soda person Anyway, my body just doesn't like it and never has. I've had regular coffee maybe twice, but my doctor just said not to go over 200-250mg daily which I wouldn't think twice about if I actually drank it, heh.

As for alcohol.. my OB said no alcohol, just to be safe. I've had a few sips of wine or beer now and again because I personally don't believe it's an issue in small/sporadic amounts. I wouldn't have a mixed drink, but now that I'm in the 2nd trimester if I wanted a glass of wine I would have it. I was never a huge drinker so I'm completely satisfied with a few sips of other peoples. I Absolutely would not worry about wine/alcohol in cooking or in soy sauce.. it can't be a huge amount.

Basically, talk to your doctor and do your own thinking and use your common sense to figure out what you're comfortable with. The internet is full of fear-mongering and it gets a bit ridiculous :(

Congratulations, and good luck!

u/RinkDad · 3 pointsr/Libertarian

Slight aside, Emily Oster (economist and TED speaker) wrote a book that examined advice given to pregnant women a few years ago. As I recall, she found a lot of flaws in the study on pregnancy and alcohol, concluding that moderate alcohol consumption is perfectly safe, and could even be beneficial. http://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702#productDescription_secondary_view_div_1463255700346

u/mkmcmas · 3 pointsr/Septemberbumpers2017

Your husband has good taste in books! I'm really enjoying Expecting Better right now.

u/feistyfoodie · 2 pointsr/fitpregnancy

Yup -- it's true. If we don't take the vitamins, baby will still draw what baby needs from our bodies. I didn't get GD or have any complications (and honestly had a relatively easy delivery; relative to the stories I've heard) -- most of my cravings came in the form of ice cream or pasta, I looked at it as 'more calcium, please!' haha.

Regarding the research -- this book "Expecting Better" (which I found out about in a comment on Reddit actually) -- http://amzn.to/2yksmeK explained all the current research and lets you make decisions for yourself. I didn't gain "too little" or "too much" -- right in the range of "appropriate" -- but I did worry initially when I was gaining very little weight, because though I wanted to stay fit, I also wanted what's best for the baby. I think baby did just fine with what I did (and the weight fell right off postpartum -- I'm already 20 lbs down). So, pros and cons on both sides, up to us to decide what works for our own lifestyles and choices :)

Whatever choice you make is the right one. Congrats and wishes for a good delivery!

u/jeanine990 · 2 pointsr/TryingForABaby

I would recommend some reading - I liked Expecting Better since it explained things like nutrition and exercise in very scientific, data-driven ways, and explained the difference between things you absolutely should or should not do (there are very few of these, basically no crystal meth) and what's up to your interpretation of the data available. I've seen several OBGYNs before and since I started trying and was never given the kind of information I was looking for -- I had to do my own research.

On mobile so I don't know how to link, but
http://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702

Good luck!

u/DontBeSuchASqueef · 2 pointsr/May2018Bumpers

All I've really given up is alcohol, and smoked salmon since there's a Listeria risk. I highly, highly recommend the book Expecting Better, it was hugely helpful in helping me understand where a lot of pregnancy advice comes from and deciding what's based on science and what I feel comfortable ignoring. I live in a country with a very low risk of Salmonella in eggs, so I still feel okay eating undercooked eggs or having a bit of raw cookie dough (I do wash the shells of the eggs before cracking them). I've kept with my usual work-out routine, running about 25-30 Kilometers a week. I'm continuing to play tennis once a week, but will stop after the summer season ends in a few weeks because I'm still a beginner player and don't want to accidentally fall while playing. That and googling every medicine or supplement before I take it - almost took some Melatonin for sleep before reading the back of the box and realizing there were a couple extra herbs thrown in, one of which wasn't safe!

u/loopymath · 2 pointsr/waiting_to_try

We tried for two cycles this past fall (had a good timing window), and the very first cycle I had my cousin's wedding one week after O. DH and I had read Expecting Better and decided that prior to a positive HPT we'd be comfortable with me having a couple glasses of wine throughout the evening, but not more than that. Was a little weird, but didn't get any awkward questions!

u/starlight0229 · 2 pointsr/BabyBumps

I would suggest reading Expecting Better. It will help you understand the restrictions and what is really realistic and what is overkill. https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702

u/andrespaway · 2 pointsr/predaddit

This happened to me last week. It's sinking in slowly, and I'm trying really hard not to get ahead of myself.

My roommate/good friend is a doula so birth is a pretty regular conversation in our house. She's got lots of books lying around and this one caught my eye and I'm about halfway through:

https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702

It's incredible in that it deconstructs a lot of the advice given to pregnant women using the actual studies and data those recommendations come from.

I guess I don't know what to feel yet, so I'm just trying to fill my head with knowledge so I can make wise decisions when the time comes. I've already got a few more books lined up!

u/ollieoliieoxenfree · 2 pointsr/BabyBumps

Yea, Google is your best friend-- I'm not sure why they wait so long to tell you the do's and don't's, particularly because fetal development has the most vulnerability in weeks 4-12. Causes for concern are pretty much limited to: LARGE amounts of blood accompanied with cramping/pain. Little bit of spotting = usually pretty normal. LOTS of blood and pain = usually a very bad sign. Other than that you're not going to notice much aside from nausea if you're 'lucky' like me.

Typically their only recommendations on exercise is not to start something more strenuous than your pre-pregnancy baseline. If you were a dead-lifter/marathoner, you theoretically should be fine to continue your normal routine. If you were a couch potato like myself, now is not the time to pick up Cross Fit.

For the Zika stuff, sounds like you've done more research than anything the doctor's office is likely to tell you, and you should not panic about the trip. Enjoy yourself but be careful. Congratulations by the way!! If you're looking for a book about the wonderful world of pregnancy I think you'd like Expecting Better by Emily Oster, she's also a researcher and gives a statistical/data-driven look at pregnancy and everything to expect along the way. I skimmed 'What to Expect' and was not impressed, but I thoroughly read and enjoyed Oster's book.

u/nmspms · 2 pointsr/TryingForABaby

I don't have experience coming off BC before TTC, but prior to starting the TTC process, I read this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702

It has a lot of great details on the author's experience coming off BC and very helpful (and promising!) statistics :)

u/juniormint88 · 1 pointr/BabyBumps

I would recommend the book Expecting Better--she has a chapter in there about CVS/amnio that's very data-driven.

u/xtinalala · 1 pointr/BabyBumps

You are not crazy at all. I teeter between extreme elation and anxiety. A few things trigger my anxiety about this pregnancy:

  • Coming on here/internet in general, reading about "awful" labor, various tragedies and losses.

  • Talking in depth with people about it. "What will you do for childcare, what happens when XYZ, you know they're super expensive right?" People are Debbie Downers. My friend tried to tell me a child costs $1300 a month (no daycare). Yah okay.

    Things that help:

  • Doctor's appointments. I am relieved every time I see her and hear her heart beat.

  • This book helps to debunk a lot of pregnancy myths.

  • This chart allows you to see the probability of loss by week. As you progress in time, the odds decrease.
u/evolve42 · 1 pointr/May2018Bumpers
u/SmileAndDonate · 1 pointr/predaddit


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u/lizbumm · 1 pointr/pregnant

This Pregnancy book written by a female economist who had children and decided to actually take a look at data vs. what we are “told”.

u/msira · 1 pointr/BabyBumps

So far, I’ve really liked reading, “Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know.”
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143125702/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_eYZDAbPJS2XWQ

u/bigtinymicromacro · 1 pointr/HomeImprovement

Don't worry about it. The actual amount you may have inhaled is minimal at best if this was outdoors. As for the pregnancy rules, you must remember, most of these rules are literally written for the lowest common denominator (stupid people). Most of the things they outright tell you to avoid during pregnancy, are absolutely fine in moderation and small amounts, but stupid people will take being told "in moderation" or "in small amounts" as "do it as much as I want, doctor says it's fine". This is why they just outright tell pregnant women to avoid most of these things. A friend of my wife's cousin wrote this book, Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know. She goes into detail analyzing the real risks of most of the things you are told to avoid. She gave my wife a copy when she was pregnant, and it really helped calm her down.

u/Paonne123 · 0 pointsr/BabyBumps

B6! Someone else already said it, but I have to concur - it totally changed my life. It doesn't work for everyone (nothing does), but it's worth a shot. I'd start with 25 mg of B6 before bed (I had to cut up a larger tablet) and see if that does anything for you. My midwife said I could take 25 mg up to 3x per day (which I think would be helpful for the all-day morning sickness).

If that doesn't help, then jump to B6 and unisom before bed. The recommended dose I've seen is 10mg B6 and 1/2 tablet of unisom (source: Expecting Better by Emily Oster), taken before bed.

Good luck! It will get better eventually!