Reddit reviews Federal Income Taxation (Casebook)

I am a JD/MBA from a T14 law school with several years of practice experience. Your ad hominem attacks are far too typical of the Reddit community in general -- which prompted my username. I am a bitter JD [juris doctor] because any and all attempts of offering sound legal advice on the Internet are greeted with entrenched ignorance from people who have no idea what they are talking about.

"You don't understand how itemized deductions work, they either qualify or they don't. Accountants don't have some secret knowledge of what does or doesn't trigger an audit."

This is patently false. The thing about the Internal Revenue Code is it is intentionally vague. Businesses and the affluent who lobby Congress invest millions annually preserving said vagueness for the sole reason of saving money through loopholes and embraced utilized ambiguity in the event of an audit so as too avoid liability.

When I first studied federal income tax, I had to effectively memorize this 2.2 lbs, 777 page case book on tax loopholes and exceptions.

Consider 26 USC 213 (d) -- the medical care itemized deduction.

"(d) Definitions
For purposes of this section—
(1) The term “medical care” means amounts paid—
(A) for the diagnosis, cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease, or for the purpose of affecting any structure or function of the body,
(B) for transportation primarily for and essential to medical care referred to in subparagraph (A),
(C) for qualified long-term care services (as defined in section 7702B (c)), or
(D) for insurance (including amounts paid as premiums under part B of title XVIII of the Social Security Act, relating to supplementary medical insurance for the aged) covering medical care referred to in subparagraphs (A) and (B) or for any qualified long-term care insurance contract (as defined in section 7702B (b))."

Assume an individual gets weekly therapeutic massages amounting to several thousand dollars per annum. Are these a deduction under the aforementioned code section? What does it mean to "affect any structure or function of the body?" These are rhetorical questions, if it is not obvious.

Anyhow, this demonstrates that you are objectively wrong with regard to itemized deductions "either qualify[ing] or they don't." Lawyers and accountants help with the ambiguity.

If your next response isn't an apology, I am done speaking with you. I work 100 hour weeks, and quite frankly trying to help you is going to unnecessarily elevate my blood pressure.

EDIT: Just realized I'm talking to someone who unethically took government subsidized education loans and invested in a quasi-legal digital currency in which he doesn't think is taxable. My goodness.