Reddit reviews Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition

I'm a 35 year old bi man who's been married to a woman for the last 12 years. I know how tough this can be. A few things, someone's initial reaction isn't always their final reaction. You've had the benefit of thinking about your sexuality for a long time. Your spouse hasn't and will need time to process this information. That doesn't mean that it will get better. It just means that it can.

I highly recommend watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa6AnOCQD50

Also, I would read Getting Bi by Robyn Ochs: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Bi-Voices-Bisexuals-Around/dp/0965388158

Both of these really helped me understand bisexuality and what it means to me. It also give me some tools to use to speak to my wife about bisexuality. Here's a good definition to use if someone asks.

“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”

Being bi also doesn't impact your ability to be monogamous. Humans feel attractions all the time, but there's a big difference between feeling something and acting on it. There are plenty of married bi folk in this subreddit. We've all gone through something like this and are here to support you.

Here's a Captain Holt pep talk to hopefully raise your spirits: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk7wb59dJUc

Here's a small list to help, just some quick suggestions based on a quick google search

Getting Bi - Robyn Ochs, Amazon Page

Bi Any Other Name, Amazon Page

Little & Lion, Amazon Page

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue, Amazon Page

You're bi, you're awesome, live your best life.

One thing that helped me was learning about other famous bisexual people, reading their stories, hearing their words. It's very affirming.

Some books you might consider reading:
Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution https://www.amazon.com/dp/1580054749/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_meWnDb4RYF9WB

Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0965388158/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_VeWnDbX28YXHB

Bi Any Other Name - Bisexual People Speak Out https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626011990/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ufWnDb1EWEQDE

Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men https://www.amazon.com/dp/0965388174/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_xhWnDbFK28M2N

IMO this one is more 'must read' than the one you linked to. It's a much wider, and much less agenda-fueled a book which collects short essays from over 200 bisexuals from across cultures and nations around the world.

Don't get me wrong, 'Bi - Notes for a bisexual revolution' is an interesting book with some nice ideas in it, but I read it, and it made me extremely uncomfortable to see my sexuality used that way, politicised to push the author's agenda, which at times becomes quite over the top and separatist. I am as against bisexual erasure as anyone else, but when authors start seeding internal resentment in the LGBT community, that's where I draw the line.

The book I linked to - 'Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World' [2009] is an anthology worthy of following in the footsteps of THE book when it comes to bisexuality ['Bi any other name' - 1991]. And in my opinion, it ['Getting Bi'], rather than the one you linked to, is the one big 'must read' book for bisexuals.

Edit- Just for a point of reference, look at this excerpt from 'Getting Bi'. 'Getting Bi' is a book actually about bisexuality. 'Bi - notes for a bisexual revolution' is mostly just a book about social justice, which uses bisexuality as its weapon. I wouldn't recommend the latter book to anyone still questioning their sexuality, because it will either just wrap their view of it, or scare them away.