Reddit reviews Getting Control: Overcoming Your Obsessions and Compulsions

Yes, confronting your fears will cause stress and sadness.

But: keep the long term goal in mind. You are working on improving yourself, and facing your fears is a huge part of this. You will come out stronger in the end.

As mentioned here, get help from a therapist. And read this book, it is very accessible and helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Control-Overcoming-Obsessions-Compulsions/dp/0452297850

DM if you want to.

I am so sorry that you aren't feeling supportive. Dealing with a physical illness and psychological concerns at the same time is so hard.

There is so much to be done for anxiety aside from medication. I highly, highly recommend exposure therapy. It has been empirically shown to be very effective at treating phobias, OCD, PTSD, and more. It's under the field of "cognitive behavioral therapy" which is hopefully the type of therapy you are on a waiting list for. The premise behind exposure therapy is pretty basic, and if you have a friend or helper who can help you work through the steps you can start to do it at home. This Book was written with OCD in mind, but it has the best explanation of at home exposure therapy I've come by.

I have a phobia of vomiting, it's much better than it used to be thanks to exposure therapy. I was hospitalized last year because I stopped eating, it was really bad. Just a few weeks ago I was able to do colonoscopy prep. It absolutely terrified me, and even as I was doing it I was afraid I wouldn't be able to finish. But honestly the worst part was that it was boring and tiring. I made it through it.

I agree with what others have said about getting a fast acting medication to help you get through prep. I have tried Ativan and Klonopin without any stomach side effects, it sits perfectly in my stomach. Something longer lasting such as valium or klonopin would probably be better for getting you through prep.

However, I think the primary concern right now is the fact that you aren't eating food. This means you aren't getting nutrients, your body can't repair itself, the stress of not having proper nutrients is only making your anxiety and phobia worse. Keep eating what you can. Given the severity of your phobia/GI issues right now it might be necessary for you to seek out hospitalization. You need to find someone who is going to listen and take you seriously. These aren't trivial concerns, and your doctors aren't doing you right by dismissing them.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, therapist, or licensed professional in any way. This is all meant as friendly advice, I would tell this to a family member or friend.