Reddit Reddit reviews His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (A Six-Session Study)

We found 2 Reddit comments about His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (A Six-Session Study). Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (A Six-Session Study)
Fleming H Revell Company
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2 Reddit comments about His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (A Six-Session Study):

u/Tres-bien-ensemble · 5 pointsr/Christianmarriage

My heart goes out to you, friend. I’m pleading the blood of Jesus over you, your wife, and your family.

My absolute favorite book, that has benefited my marriage in more ways, more times than I can count, is called “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley, Jr. Although the book write-up says “Building an affair-proof marriage”, the book itself is all about meeting eachother’s needs so it never gets to that point.

Lifting you all up before His throne.

u/Carl_AR · 1 pointr/DeadBedrooms

Wow. I’m a guy in the reverse situation. Everything but the affair, just yet.

Your husband, just like my wife, has zero libido really. Perhaps I manage to get her underwear off a little more often than monthly but we both know the day I quit initiating (which is a major chore in itself including loooooooong foreplay that must start with non sexual deep massage, caressing and slowly working up to second base.)

I know you didn’t excuse your affair. But I do. Although I haven’t had one myself yet, I believe an SO that is not participating in the marital bed is the one who first was unfaithful to the wedding vows. (“To have and to HOLD, you know...) Morally and biblically its actually wrong to refrain from sex unless consensual.

New Living Translation

“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

On the other hand, who wants a partner who has sex with you only to be biblically correct, right?

In your case it doesn’t matter as he has sort of left his faith.

Some words of advice (although not from a guy that’s actually fixed his own situation just yet):

  1. A guy that barely wants sex once a month needs to have his testosterone levels checked!!! Any chance you can get him to do this?

  2. Have you asked him if he masturbates and or uses porn? Would he be honest? If so, would he agree to ‘fasting’ from both for 30 days to see where this leads? Porn and masturbation OFTEN kills sex drive for men. (The kind of sex drive that leads to REAL sex with a REAL partner = YOU)

  3. If he’s serious about staying with you and trying to work things out you absolutely must read this book together.

    His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage https://www.amazon.com/dp/0800721004/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_2KayDbME2HWK2


    I know you are in therapy but your therapist sucks in my opinion. He/she seems to already have sided with him in thinking you must accept that once a month is ok because that is who he is. It’s not. This is not the guy you married and not what you signed up for. The once a month guy is what he has turned into and you don’t have to accept this.

    The book will shed some light on what exactly happened when you went outside the marriage and why BOTH are responsible for this, not just you.


    Godspeed

    Carl, Arkansas