Reddit reviews How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

I can't say whether or not you have PPD, but I can say that the husband issue is a recurring theme in all forums I'm a part of. It seems that the mom/dad dynamic just doesn't work out the way we assume or envision. My husband does the same thing as yours... He works "so hard all day" and wants to "relax" when he gets home. 'Cause I haven't worked all day or anything. He spends time on the couch watching youtube videos while I'm taking care of all the things. I have been trying to break the habit by giving Audrey to him to feed in the evenings. If he's going to watch tv, then he might as well be helping me/her at the same time. I'm still waiting for the clean dishes in the dishwasher to be unloaded, meanwhile the dirty dishes are piling up on the counter but I refuse to do literally everything. One of his tasks at the end of the night before he goes to bed is to put the changing pad on the couch so I don't have to handle it while holding Audrey at 3am, 4am, 5am (whatever time she wakes up). He probably manages to remember 3-4 times a week, despite it being right there next to the couch.

My point is that you're not alone in your frustration. There's an assumption that the mom is the one that handles everything, including baby. It's hard to break that mentality in people. Someone recommended How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids (it might have been you!), and I plan to check that out from the library if I ever have time to read! I'm glad yesterday was better and you got some good sleep.

There's a book about loving your husband after baby comes. I haven't started it yet, since my pregnancy has killed my sex drive but increased my love for husband. I have been saving it for when baby arrives. Maybe it'll help: https://smile.amazon.com/Hate-Your-Husband-After-Kids/dp/0316267090/ref=sr_1_3?crid=KEYS61E0VNPO&keywords=how+to+love+your+husband+after+kids&qid=1571361080&sprefix=How+to+love+your+husband+%2Caps%2C468&sr=8-3

I'm training to be a psychotherapist so I am biased, but I really think couples therapy should be standard when you're going through a big transition like this - you're smart to identify growing resentment as a threat to your marriage, and it's best to address it early on before it become truly toxic. Too many people wait to go to couples therapy and by the time they do, it's past the point of no return. The marriage expert John Gottman talks about resentment being the #1 killer of marriages, and also wrote a book about maintaining your marriage after a baby called And Baby Makes Three. It would be a good idea to read that book and maybe How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, which I've gotten many recommendations for. Good luck!