Reddit reviews In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness

> Now I have to face the onslaught of childhood trauma plus the groundlessness of existence at the same time? "Hey kid, I know you are scared, but guess what, you don't exist!"
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> I'm getting really good at suppressing cravings though, desire for sex and friendship are taking a beating.

If you're trying to work through trauma, finding safe and welcoming social situations is likely to be much more helpful than trying to suppress the urge towards friendship instead of just meditating through it. The same is probably true for finding a good relationship, but taking it slowly there can make sense since a relationship can also bring up trauma faster than you can really deal with it. You may already be familiar with how trauma functions, but I found both Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness and In an Unspoken Voice very helpful when I started running into trauma-related issues on the path.

I have tried gently restarting the practice with the focus on paying attention to what I actually feel and actively trying to take care of my psychological state. A useful pattern emerged. Maybe it will be of use to someone.
If you feel distressed, in state of anxiety and causeless terror, start exploring the sensations only when you are firmly grounded in the present, your body, or, best of all, in the presence of another person who you trust and feel safe in company of. Sometimes, you don't have that luxury, but try to make environment as safe and comforting for yourself as possible. Listen to music that you find relaxing, to guided meditation, to an ASMR recording. You need to gently guide yourself out of 'fight-or-flight' condition, otherwise it is very likely that you will keep mind-wandering, and while mind-wandering you will hate yourself, so every time you will come out of mind-wandering you will be even more agitated and distressed.
Only when you are clearly grounded in the present and feel safe enough to not spiral down into self-loathing, start exploring the disturbing sensations. It feels still uncomfortable, but there is an edge to it: you are no longer drowning in the storm, you are weathering it. And while it happens, you can start getting familiar with anxious feeling in the way when they cannot harm you. Their presence is more tolerable and it gives this sliver of 'okayness', 'being relaxed to the presence of discomfort' that will allow you to stop feeding these sensations and come to the place of self-comfort.
P.S. This book was very helpful in recognizing what happens during such states. Once again, credit goes to awesome u/jplewicke.