Reddit reviews In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
We found 52 Reddit comments about In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
North Atlantic Books
I'm sorry you're going through this.
You are very, very harsh on yourself. This is understandable, because like many people coming from an abusive home, you probably weren't talked to with love and kindness, so you could never learn to talk to yourself in a gentle, kind, respectful, loving way. Being this harsh with oneself is a telltale symptom of deep emotional wounds that need to heal. Please don't beat yourself up so much. You have accomplished a LOT. You have quit an abusive home where you grew up. This in itself is already quite amazing. You are independent, you have a job (however shitty). You pay your bills. You have gotten help, medications you need to function at this moment, and you've managed to not drink for a YEAR so that these medications could work correctly. This is huge. You have the persistence to show up at an AA meeting every Friday despite how hard things are. And yes, you have a bit of an internet addiction problem, because hell, you need SOMETHING to dull the pain, and yeah, it sucks, but there are so many addictions which are much worse. I'm not saying you should condone your surfing problem, but do give credit where credit is due. I know you say you "hate yourself so fucking much" at this moment, but this can change. You're not hate material ! This hate, it's not yours. This comes from your troubled childhood ; these hating, harsh, unkind voices, are not yours : they are your abusers'. In order to improve your life, including the internet issue, there are wounds that need to heal. The best way I know of is with the help of a compassionate, competent therapist (shop around ! Not all therapists are like this, and it really pays to take the time to find one you feel truly comfortable with). If this is too expensive or overwhelming at the moment, there are a couple of books that come to mind which may help you look at yourself in a different, kinder way. "In the realm of hungry ghosts", an amazing book about addiction by Gabor Maté comes to mind, and also maybe "Finding your own North Star" by Martha Beck. I'm sure there are many others.
You are very frustrated with your life at this moment, but clearly you haven't given up. You haven't "accepted" this life as your future. You need a couple more skills to advance (mostly about learning to manage your emotions, in my opinion) but you're getting close. Take a little break on the harsh, insulting self-talk for a while (it's not working very well anyway, is it ? ;) and let your frustrated, wounded self breathe a bit while you figure all this out. Make a little truce with yourself, if you will. Honestly, I think it's not going to be easy, but you have a fair chance of healing and moving closer to the life you would like to live. Take things one step at a time. Best luck to you.
Great, every houseless person just needs to move to Arkansas, youve solved it, thats a wrap. Go present to the thousands and thousands of social workers and policy makers working on this issue, theyll be kicking themselves they didnt think of this brilliant plan sooner. The lack of compassion and empathy is staggering.
​
edit: for those who are actually looking for solutions, this book is an excellent start.
Am inceput In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction de Gabor Maté. Nu se citeste repede, prin prisma povestilor de viata grele, dar este foarte frumoasa.
Am inceput documentarul de pe Netflix, Inside Bill's Brain: Decoding Bill Gates. Foarte fain, probabil si mai misto pentru un baiat, ca povesteste chestii tehnice. Dar ce vrea/a reusit sa faca in Africa , ca inovatie, este wow. M-a surprins si ca au existat universitati care nu i-au raspuns cand le-a cerut ajutorul, nici macar ca sa ii zica nu. Cum sa iti dea mail Bill Gates si tu sa nu raspunzi? Gets to show you, you can be ghosted no matter your status.
"I have this ability to kick hard drugs easily. The people I got addicted could not."
That's not really how addiction works. I'd recommend reading this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312647718&sr=1-1
Or else listen to this short interview with the author:
http://www.wpr.org/book/100307a.cfm
And also read up on The Adverse Childhood Experience Study:
http://www.nijc.org/pdfs/Subject%20Matter%20Articles/Drugs%20and%20Alc/ACE%20Study%20-%20OriginsofAddiction.pdf
If you take the time to learn about the science of addiction, and not just how neurotransmitters work but the actual sociology of it, I think you will be much better able to come to terms with what happened.
Yes, for those that have addiction, abstaining from a substance can be the single hardest thing that they do in their life. It's a brain disease. Most throttle the line of difficulties relating to substances, and others are full-blown addicted. It's super complicated and there's a distinct difference.
I think coming from a place of genuine compassion is key. Many people that have this condition come to us having burned bridges, while also having those that don't trust or believe them anymore. In working with this population pretty exclusively, I have come to find that the commonality is simply creating a space where they can feel "normal" (I know that's all relative). Sometimes our sessions don't even focus on the substance, but relationship issues or maybe career difficulties, or home life/friends. It's all interrelated.
Good resources:
Family bought me the book "In The Realm of Hungry Ghost" to read in rehab. Half the book is about the Dr Gabor Mate's opinion of why we get addicted to drugs (very progressive) and the other half is encounters with patients he has worked with in Canada in that area that was declared a "drug using zone". The whole book is really amazing. Best seller in Canada
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/155643880X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523529568&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=in+realm+of+hungry+ghosts&dpPl=1&dpID=51D6lUfiR8L&ref=plSrch
One of the top reviews on Amazon of the book:
Doctor Gabor Maté left a thriving private practice to counsel addicts in one of North America’s most brutal neighborhoods, Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. He has immersed himself in addict subculture, the battles won and the tears shed, and has come to recognize his own addictions, though not to substances. He’s made one important discovery: it’s hard to hate people you know. So he introduces readers to his hard-bitten, suffering clientele.
This book, a thick tome that rewards careful perusal, starts as a form of group autobiography. Not that he claims his patients’ stories as his own. Having worked among Vancouver’s poorest, most despised citizens for a decade, he remains an outsider, returning to his suburban home nightly. Yet he knows these survivors’ stories well enough to write of them: "The misery is extraordinary in the drug gulag, but so is the humanity."
The gulag metaphor isn’t incidental. Not only have Maté’s clients disproportionately suffered incarceration (some, he says, have spent more than half their adult lives in jail), but many face extended imprisonment within their own minds. Most come from backgrounds of abuse and neglect. Many of Maté’s First Nations patients have generational trauma and Reservation Sickness back to the first white encroachments. Drugs cannot explain their behaviors.
Where these people come from, what tragedies and Sisyphean challenges formed their outlooks, proves inextricable from their addictions. Nearly all were broken before they touched drugs: "''I'm not afraid of dying,' a client told me. 'Sometimes I'm more afraid of living.'" This gives Maté his direct line into science. Transitioning from storytelling, Maté becomes an incisive researcher, distilling massively complex science into plain English without losing power.
At some pivotal moment in childhood development, Maté writes, addicts lack the unconditional love children require. It’s actually more difficult than that, but stripped to its rudiments, all people suffering long-term intractable addiction didn’t have loving guidance, as children, to control their emotions. Children, by definition, cannot handle stress independently. Our developing brains outsource self-control to responsible adults; if such adults aren’t around, our brains adapt accordingly.
Not for nothing, Maté observes, to many addicts compare the heroin rush to receiving a warm, lingering hug. The un-nurtured infant brain never develops the ability to guide itself through stress; fundamentally, that squalling child survives, desperate and scared, within every addict’s brain. The deprived infant becomes the terrified adult. "The dominant emotions suffusing all addictive behavior,” Maté writes, “are fear and resentment—an inseparable vaudeville team of unhappiness."
Don’t start feeling self-righteous, though, because you don’t wolf narcotics. Maté describes equitable structures in behavioral addictions, like abusive overeating, philandering, and thrill-seeking. Some of Maté’s most engaging chapters describe his own struggles with workaholism and binge-buying music CDs. "What seems non-adaptive and self-harming in the present was, at some point in our lives, an adaptation to help us endure what we had to go through then."
It’s difficult to read certain chapters without powerful twinges. Many women addicts he counsels, Maté writes, obsessively collect teddy bears among their drug-fueled squalor. Others have lost their children, but cannot bear to be parted from their small furry animals. Remember, he’s describing the poorest, most despised people in Canada, and all they want, amid the burglaries and self-mutilation and prostitution that subsidizes their drug dependency, is something to love.
This makes current approaches to drug prohibition doubly costly. We pay social costs to capture, prosecute, and imprison junkies, yes, and civil libertarians have long protested this lopsidedness. But the trauma of imprisonment compounds the conditions that created addicts’ problems to begin with. Nobody taught these people how to endure being alone with themselves, so what, let’s throw them in solitary? Who does that help?
As Maté describes it, criminal justice approaches become just plain mean. But more: we deny addicts social services, meaningful jobs, and basic medical care. This makes no sense, as Maté writes: "If our guiding principle is that a person who makes his own bed ought to lie in it, we should immediately dismantle much of our health care system." Yet somehow, we accept that further dehumanizing people already stripped of common humanity will help.
Addiction isn’t a story of “those people.” It’s the story of how we construct ourselves, and help construct other people, every day. Maté essentially paraphrases Thomas Aquinas when he writes: "In the final analysis, it's not the activity or object itself that defines an addiction but our relationship to whatever is the external focus of our attention or behavior." This means us.
Sidebar! Otherwise, I met Mark Lewis in October at the MN Nobel Peace Conference on Addiction.
There's a couple of books such as:
The Biology of Desire (Lewis), Memoirs of an Addicted Brain (Lewis), In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts (Mate)
Empecé a leer este libro,
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
Está bastante interesante, habla de las adicciones como reacción frente a traumas psicológicos y de cómo tratar una adicción puntual capaz que hace que ese trauma vuelva a aflorar en otro comportamiento igual.
in The Realm of Hungry Ghosts Human, riveting, well-written, and depicts how the mechanisms underlying addiction operate in everyone. [sauce: am not addict, thank God]
The best way to solve those two primary contributing factors to homelessness is to bloody well treat them. If we had hundreds or thousands of people wandering our downtowns with, I don't know, pneumonia or something, wouldn't we just pop them into a hospital and treat them until they get better?
So it goes with mental illness and addiction. There are a lot of possible strategies for treating mental illness and addiction which look expensive at first, but which really can save buttloads of money in the long run. Read this article for a background and some ideas. Also, Dr. Gabor Maté's book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts is a great one for seeing what life is really like for the human beings who happen to be homeless addicts or mentally ill people.
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts er en bok jeg hører igjennom akkurat nå (er på siste kapittel). Jeg føler den er "must read" for de som vil uttale seg angående avhengighet, om det gjelder stoffer eller andre ting.
Boken har endret mitt syn på en del aspekter med avhengighet.
This clip may be helpful. The documentary is very good. The person in this clip, Gabor Mate, also has an excellent book you might be interested. Fair warning it has Louis CK in the first part of the video.
Give "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" by Dr. Gabor Mate a read. It may teach you a lot about addiction that can assist you with your reactions to him, and also help you understand what effect being raised by an addict (even one parent) can have on the baby's developing brain. Increasing the baby's risk for addiction. Encourage him to read it to, but recognize you can't make him.
Consider Al Anon for families of alcoholics and addicts, and at a minimum read some of their material.
You neither want to enable nor to assume that you can nag him out of addiction. He may have told you he would be different because he very much wants/wanted to be, but the brain channels that entrench addiction are very, very, very powerful.
Here are some things I think may help:
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521224469&sr=8-1&keywords=gabor+mate+in+the+realm+of+hungry+ghosts
https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/0615482155/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1521224489&sr=1-2&keywords=allen+carr+easy+way+to+quit+smoking
Good luck! You'll find a way!
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. One of the most comprehensive books available on the path from abuse to the single most widely used survival mechanism.
If interested, see Will the Addict Ever Stop Using SOMETHING if He or She remains Depressed, Anxious & Belief-Bound?.
Let's see:
For a wealth of data but a perspective of addiction which actually disagrees with what I say (though they are selective in their interpretation) there's this:
http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674057272
The standard primer on neurobiology of addiction is this:
https://www.amazon.com/Neurobiology-Addiction-George-F-Koob/dp/0124192394/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869508&sr=8-2&keywords=drugs+koob
For a biopsychosocial perspective, there's this:
https://www.amazon.com/Drugs-Society-Human-Behavior-Carl/dp/0073529745/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869548&sr=8-4&keywords=drugs+and+society
By the same author but for a popular audience is this:
https://www.amazon.com/High-Price-Neuroscientists-Self-Discovery-Challenges/dp/0062015893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869576&sr=8-1&keywords=carl+hart
Another popular, critical book:
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869570&sr=8-1&keywords=in+the+realm+of+hungry+ghosts
Another popular take:
https://www.amazon.com/Chasing-Scream-First-Last-Drugs/dp/1620408902
For the history of junkies in the us:
https://www.amazon.com/Creating-American-Junkie-Addiction-Research/dp/0801883830/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869591&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+the+american+junkie
A global one:
https://www.amazon.com/Pursuit-Oblivion-Global-History-Narcotics/dp/0393051897/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869828&sr=8-1&keywords=in+pursuit+of+oblivion
Primer on Harm Reduction:
https://www.amazon.com/Harm-Reduction-Second-Pragmatic-Strategies/dp/1462502563/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869612&sr=8-2&keywords=harm+reduction
Primer on drugs and drug policy, quite neutral:
https://www.amazon.com/Drugs-Drug-Policy-Everyone-Needs-ebook/dp/B0054ID9UG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498869623&sr=8-1&keywords=drugs+kleiman
A book on the legalization of drugs:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0765701510/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Another, economic take, on legalization:
https://www.amazon.com/Drug-War-Crimes-Consequences-Prohibition/dp/0945999909
Sociology of drugs in the US:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0199935904/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Psychopharmacology primer intro:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0878935347/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
A criticism of the concept of addiction:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0814747647/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Some more esoteric but interesting stuff on epigenetics, neuroscience etc:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0849373913/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
A great book on the anthropology of drugs (this author also writes a lot of smaller papers too):
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6614135-righteous-dopefiend
Start with: How to Change Your Mind (start with this detailed annotated summary). The pop culture starting point these days. The summary is all you need to read to understand the entire book but the book is well worth the time.
After that you'll have more ideas where to do. Below is a lot of stuff. I've watched/read all of them, so happy to answer any questions/give more guidance.
​
Study the "classics" by taking a look at these (skim the long ones to start):
Seeking the Magic Mushroom (first western trip report on mushrooms)
My 12 Hours As A Madman (another historically important trip report)
The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based On The TIbetan Book of the Dead (classic book on guided trips)
LSD My Problem Child by Albert Hoffman
Al Hubbard: The Original Captian Trips
​
Docs to Watch:
The Sunshine Makers (documentary)
Orange Sunshine (documentary)
Aya: Awakenings (documentary)
Dirty Pictures (documentary)
A New Understanding: The Science of Psilocybin (documentary)
Hoffmans Potion (documentary): r/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFfblVjCwOU"
​
And a whole lot of others:
​
Books
The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide – James Fadiman
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction – Gabor Mate
Storming Heaven: LSD and the American Dream – Jay Stevens
Psychedelic Psychiatry: LSD from clinic to campus – Erika Dyck
The Natural Mind: A Revolutionary Approach to the Drug Problem – Andrew Weil
Acid Hype: American News Media and the Psychedelic Experience – Stephen Siff
Acid Dreams: The complete social history of LSD – Martin A. Lee and Bruce Shlain
Drugs: Without the Hot Air – David Nutt
A Really Good Day: How Microdosing Made a Mega Difference in My Mood, My Marriage, and My Life – Ayelet Waldman
Neuropsychedelia: The Revival of Hallucinogen Research Since the Decade of the Brain – Nicolas Langlitz
The Harvard Psychedelic Club: How Timothy Leary, Ram Dass, Huston Smith, and Andrew Weil Killed the Fifties and Ushered in a New Age for America – Don Lattin
Videos
Terence McKenna discusses the stoned ape theory
A Conversation on LSD – In a video from the late 1970s, Al Hubbard, Timothy Leary, Humphry Osmond, Sidney Cohen and others reflect on LSD’s heyday
Alison Gopnik and Robin Carhart-Harris at the 2016 Science of Consciousness Conference
The Future of Psychedelic Psychiatry – a discussion between Thomas Insel and Paul Summergrad
Documents, Articles & Artifacts
Al Hubbard’s FBI file
Remembrances of LSD Therapy Past – Betty Grover Eisner’s unpublished memoir about her role in developing psychedelic therapy
LSD, Insight or Insanity – Transcript of excerpts from hearings of the Subcommittee
on the Executive Reorganization of the Senate Committee on Government Operations [concerning federal research and regulation of LSD-25] May 24, 1966
The Brutal Mirror: What an ayahuasca retreat showed me about my life —A Vox writer’s first-person account
​
Forums
Ayahuasca.com: Includes experience reports, discussion of spirituality, ecology, healing, and recovery by means of the vine are collected here. A place to learn from members of ayahuasca churches, as well as a few foreign language channels.
Bluelight: A 20 year old online harm reduction forum that fosters open and factual discussion of drugs and provides support for those seeking recovery from addiction.
DMT Nexus: A hub for underground psychedelic research on botanical sources of tryptamines and other psychedelic compounds.
5Hive: A newer forum devoted specifically to 5-MeO-DMT — synthetic, botanical or toad-derived.
Mycotopia: All things mycological — discussions of edible, wild, and psychoactive fungi.
The Shroomery: A forum devoted to cultivating psilocybin-containing mushrooms and sharing trip reports.
TRIPSIT: A 24/7 online harm reduction resource. Users can chat instantly with someone about their drug experience, or questions they may have about about the safe(r) use of a wide variety of controlled substances.
Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate are my suggestions.
I understand what you are saying. It is frustrating, feeling like you are constantly fighting an internal war against yourself. I second DF. Seek outside help and support. The only reason not to tell your parents is you're worried about facing the consequences of your actions, not because you're worried about them. You're doing the thing they were / are worried about, you're just not being honest about it. Especially if you are still living with them or otherwise receiving their support, you owe them the truth. "The truth shall set you free." It will be a relief to stop living a lie. If your parents are anything like mine they love you very much and just want you to get better. The reason it is important to get help is because, to oversimplify it, your brain is compromised from within. You cannot rely on it alone to get you out of addiction.
I'd honestly suggest picking up a few books on addiction. They really helped me understand what was going on inside my brain and clear up a lot of the frustrating mysteries, not to mention reading helped pass the time during detox. Check out In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts
I've been struggling with opiate addiction for over a decade. I've done NA, seen therapists, worked inpatient programs, and read a ton of books on the subject. If you truly want to stop (and it sounds like you do) it is possible for you to do so, but it will take dedication on your part. There are no simple solutions in most cases like these.
First, there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not a weak, stupid, or a bad person. Addiction doesn't arise because you made the mistake of taking too many pills. You just happened to be unfortunate enough to come across a narcotic or form of behavior that alleviates some degree of unresolved, persistent antagonism/stress in you life (this is the real disease, the drug use is the symptom). And since these drugs are plentiful, or you were bound to have a tooth pulled at some point, don't fault yourself for using. It was bound to happen and from the sound of it, like so so many other people out there, it seems you're prone to addictive behavior.
Everyone thinks their too smart, too special, or just too much of a bad ass for this to happen to them. I thought that way and I've met hundreds of other addicts who thought the same. The irony here isn't that everyone who thinks they're special is actually sadly cliche (though true), it's that you're likely special in some other way that you haven't quite realized. Most of the hardcore addicts I've met fall into two categories, abused or underused i.e.;they've been the victims of an abusive childhood or they're people with high degrees of unknown and unfulfilled potential.
Considering you've done one of the bravest things possible for an early user such as yourself--admitting you have a problem--I'm gonna say you're likely in the second category. You've already shown your character in a very positive light. Be proud of yourself, and more importantly, be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes on this journey, but so far you're off to an early and promising start, if you maintain your resolve.
The first trick for someone like you is going to be to stop using, completely. In the short term, you've received some great advice, eat non-fatty foods, exercise as much as you can, get rid of your stash, etc.. You're already through the worst of your withdraw. You're a light user and shouldn't feel any discomfort after 3 to 5 days. But understand this, what you felt wasn't even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to withdraw. The discomfort, sleeplessness, and despair you felt can be a hundred times worse (and lasting up to two weeks) for a pill popper after just a year. Remember, it's not always about how much you use, but how long as well. And I won't even bother to describe the misery of IV use, as you seem like a smart kid, you can do the math.
Long term, you're real difficulty is probably going to be in finding a support network to help you stay the fuck away from opiates. Because though they may mean well, parents and friends usually aren't up to the challenge. Even if they want to, they often just can't understand why you feel compelled to use. The best people to consult are either other addicts in recovery or professionals, either of which hopefully works in tandem with the love and support of your friends and family.
NA is a great place to start for most people humble enough to admit they have a problem, but I can't stress the need to find the right group more. So if you go this route, go to as many different meeting as possible, on different nights and at different places so you find folks you're comfortable with. I used to think NA was just a bunch of Bible thumping ex cons and I couldn't have been more wrong. Stay away from Narcanon though, they're sponsored by Scientology. You're better off staying on the pills in that case. ;-)
If you're too shy for NA or just can't find the right group, look into specialized addiction therapists. But generally steer clear of anyone working directly with the criminal justice system, you're not a criminal, so don't let anyone treat you like one.
If you're not ready to share your problem with anyone face to face quite yet (just don't make the mistake I did and wait years to do so), pick up some books about addiction to help clear up all the bad information you've been indoctrinated with on the topic, as I assume you grew up here in the States. My personal favorite is Dr. Gabor Mate's In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts.
Beyond that, you're also welcome to message me if you have any specific questions. I've been exactly where you are today, so I truly feel for your predicament. If I can be of any assistance, please don't hesitate to ask.
For those interested in understanding addictions and motivations behind them, I suggest you read In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by M.D. Gabor Maté.
Im reading his book In the realm of hungry ghosts right now; very interesting read if you liked what he said in the documentary. Difficult to put down, but also difficult to read sometimes based on the subjects he discusses and the case studies he recalls.
http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Recovery-Spiritual-Healing-Addiction/dp/0471442615
http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
http://www.amazon.com/Heart-Addiction-Understanding-Alcoholism-Addictive/dp/0060958030/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373397028&sr=1-2&keywords=lance+dodes
http://www.amazon.com/Drinking-Love-Story-Caroline-Knapp/dp/0385315546 Her recovery is 12-step based, but this is really a memoir, not a guidebook
While it can be easy to see abusers and "junkies" as degenerates who are suffering the repercussions of their own poor decisions, a closer look often reveals that compassion, not judgement, is needed.Many people end up using out of desperation, searching for some solace in a life of poverty,abuse, and loneliness. To pretend like those from drug-addicted, abusive homes have significant "free choice" in the matter--similar to a white, suburban college kid "saying no" to drugs at a frat party--is absurd.
A life free of substance abuse is not necessarily something to be commended for, but rather something for which to give thanks: you have likely been dealt a hand relatively devoid of desperate circumstances.
I highly recommend anyone interested in addiction check out In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate, a physician who works with hardcore addicts at Vancouver's safe injection site.
I'd recommend In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts.
Its broad focus is on "addiction", but I think Dr. Gabor Mate (the author) does a brilliant job of connecting back to the much bigger, much more pervasive, underlying systemic sociological and psychological forces at work.
Great question, and good luck!
This idea is the crux of Gabor Mate's book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, a fascinating look into the correlation between early nurturing and addiction/abuse.
> The people that act like people are bad for having physical beauty standards, the ones that act entitled to attractive people who are in shape,
I mean yeah fuck all that.
>the ones that shun all good advice when it comes to dieting
Another characteristic of addiction. You think they don't know that they should be eating healthier? You think a junkie doesn't know that heroin is slowly killing them? Changing a bad habit is hard enough, and when it's also physically addictive it fucks with your brain in a way that makes you justify it to maintain your self image.
I mean, yeah, "stop eating fatty foods" is good advice, and so is "don't shoot heroin," but it's literally not that easy, and it doesn't do anyone any good to pretend that it is.
>I'm fucking tired of hearing about their problems that are absolutely easy to address.
This right here makes me think you need to read a psychology book, or anything at all about addiction. I'd recommend In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts - it focuses on drugs, but as the author notes, the same patterns are present with any kind of addiction, including overeating.
Just stumbled across this stuff after I saw your post.
http://www.amazon.com/Globalization-Addiction-Study-Poverty-Spirit/dp/0199588716/
http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/
And hey, dust-off has that appeal because it basically lets you zone out, or zone in, or whatever... the stillness has an appeal, but you know what, you're self-aware and cognizant and you'll be able to zen out sans huff and be healthier for it. Hey, your experiences will always be a part of you, but they're learning experiences that you can carry with you and integrate into your worldview in a healthy, manageable way, instead of letting guilt eat you alive or anything like that. You aren't evil or anything for having used opiates or any other drug.
Glad you're here, and glad to read that you're starting that program. Take care, friend.
Yea, I just got home. I'm bored, mini rants incoming.
When I first heard of The Four Agreements, I was in detox back in 09 or something. And this tweaker chick kept going manic. She'd be happy/sad/angry/empty... just over and over. She was throwing chairs, and freaking out, but she kept telling me to read that book. So I had to, because she had excellent chair throwing skills. It was a great read, ... very very interesting take on spirituality but it is pretty applicable. It's a feel good philosophy warrior book thing.
The Power of Now. I had what AA would call a "spiritual awakening" and it really wasn't much like a burning bush, but A LOT like this guy talks about in this book. When I was about to kill myself with a teener of dope, I had this very very strange experience where I couldn't identify with myself anymore. .. "Who is this person that wants to die so badly?... Who am I?" It really changed things. The power of now was the most powerful thing I've read.
The New Earth is pretty interesting. I have to disagree with some points, because traditionally, you can't really get rid of the ego. The ego is necessary to survive. But it's interesting. It's worth a read, especially someone stuck in a facility with only their remorse and addiction to keep them company.
I personally LOVE Gabor Mate. This guy deals with the most tragic cases of addiction in Vancouver, and he's a neurologist and he has some pretty good insights on addiction. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. It's partly where I came up with my flair.
Rational Recovery was another I would suggest. It's a lot like those Allen Carr Easy Way to Quit Smoking. But the basic idea is disassociation from the "Addictive Voice". That it's not ME that wants to get high, but my addiction. That shit rocked my world when I learned it, and I immediately integrated it into my first step in Narcotics Anonymous.
EDIT, Rational Recovery, and Jack Trimpey are VERY AGAINST 12 step ideology. He HATES IT, and he hates the God idea. I get that, but I cannot and will not deny the therapeautic value of one addict helping another. Nothing compares. Even Bill W. in AA wrote about it in his memoirs and grapevines and the Big Book. "When all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic saved the day."
Tao de Ching really helped me. Although it may be missattributed, the whole "Living in the Past is living in depression, living in the future is living in anger and fear, living in the now is living in peace."
So, as you can see, I really like the "now" concept, but it's helped me stay clean and be happy about it. Non-fiction would probably be great too. But these are very spiritual new agey ideas.
This reminds me, I need to read The Spirituality of Imperfection.
THE MOST IMPORTANT BOOKS THOUGH:
I highly recommend the NA Basic Text, and I love the Step Working Guide.
That's roughly the theme of Dr. Gabor Maté's book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts".
Link on Amazon
I haven't read it but I've heard good things about it from people who have.
>I'm sure you would have preferred to not watch your son go through that. I'm sure given the choice you would have opted out of him having been exposed to drugs.
He probably wouldn't be my son if not for the issues that contributed to and resulted from his firstmama becoming an addict, he probably would have been able to be raised in his biological family. I wish all wanted kids were able to be raised in their biological families, and I wish that our society responded to the risk factors for and the disease of addiction better so that people had more support, more treatment options and more social awareness around addiction. My love for him and desire to see him have a life free of any trauma, and my selfish self-interest in wanting to be his mother, are certainly at war in that thought experiment.
>But I also think this post has been glorifying drug addiction like it's an acceptable thing. Accepting it for what it is is...
I absolutely do think we should accept addiction for what it is - a disease. Would you stigmatize a firstmother with mental illness? With cancer? Addicts don't pop into the world with the desire to become addicts, to expose infants to opiates or whatever, etc. The number one predictor of addiction for women, is being sexually abused as a child. Trauma in general plays a huge role. Millions of people try drugs and never become addicts, and the role of childhood trauma in those who do become addicts - well if that alone doesn't trigger your sympathy then you are really truly cold. Try reading In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Mate before you ever open your callous, uninformed mouth on this subject again, please.
>glorifying drug addiction
>I just don't think people need to worry about offending someone is who going down hill.
>They need help, not someone telling them that their behavior is ok.
Your post - even this one and even while maintaining otherwise - is full of stigmatizing, offensive language.
If degredation and lack of respect beat back and cured addiction, there would be no more addicts - they face more than enough of it. They're at high risk for homelessness, abuse, disease, rape, pain, family estrangement, loss of their children, prison and all sorts of degredation. If you sincerely think that by being a complete jerk about addiction, instead of being kind and compassionate, you are doing anything helpful, you're flat out wrong. Read Dr. Mate's book. He, as a doctor and specialist, explains it much better than I could.
I understand that you're likely just preaching the same bad addiction language you've heard in your life, so I encourage you to rise above it, get educated and do better. Especially if you want to do anything about drug abuse in the world - because believe me all the degredation hasn't been enough to end it so maybe it's time to try something new.
Reading In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Mate should help you. It will help you understand the brain bases behind addiction, and that it may be a combination of genetic susceptibility to addiction plus something else happening in life such as trauma, abuse, lack of parental consistent attention etc. It talks about what kinds of experience influence our brain's coping strategies - or lack thereof - to make some people more susceptible to addiction than others. It helped me feel that by practicing attunement, stress management, adaption to discomfort and other good personality characteristics with my son, I could help to some degree prevent some of the traits that make addiction more powerful over a person.
I worry about this too. Addiction does seem to have some genetic links, and it's not abnormal to worry about them. Being raised by an alcoholic hurts you (do you read about or connect with the ACOA groups - Adult Children of Alcoholics - at all?). That said the genetic risk is not pre-determinative. I worry because my son, who is adopted, his fiirstmama is a recovering heroin addict and he was exposed to heroin in utero. That exposure was once thought to irrevocably harm babies, however it's been found that being raised in a non-addicted household undoes much of that harm.
A person with so many problems is hard to help. I read an interesting book on homeless drug addicts recently
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
The author is a doctor trained in helping addicts and even he can save very few :(
Read this book. https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
Accept that you may never stop smoking but maybe a reduction in smoking maybe a short-term goal that you can make.
I see... I've never heard of anyone suggesting professionals regulating dosage at safe injection sites.
When I read "trained medical professionals," I imagine training consisting of a quarter of emergency medicine at the community college and four competency based sessions a year.
If the county adds a medical director to supervise the techs and some "drug counsellors" to discuss alternatives to opiate use, the program should cost just about as much as any of our many methadone clinics, where "medical professionals adjust dosage" on the regular.
If you're seriously interested in the model, I highly recommend Dr. Gabor Mate's In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts as he might be the only doctor in the Western Hemisphere with any real knowlege on the practice.
Lately I've been reading In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate. It focuses more on hard drug addiction, but it's still been an interesting read.
I also recently tried Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck, but I'm not sure if I'd recommend it. It feels like a very low-budget self-published book. There are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, and the author kind of comes off as being very pompous. He also cites scientific research, but doesn't provide any sources, so the skeptic in me has to wonder how much he's making up. He also ends chapters with a screen-grab of someone's review of the book. I made it a ways into the book and put it down.
I believe the lack of counter-arguments to carl hart is due to the fact that he's quite consciously going out on a limb here, asking for others to participate in the discussion. his book "high price" is all about how he started to question his own view on "bad drugs", because it didn't mesh with his and other peoples research. i'll have to relisten again, but my impression was, that he was quite open about constantly questioning his own findings. he's one of the few specialist-quests on JRE that i've heard repeatedly say "i'm sorry, but i don't know enough about that, so i can only speculate or shut up". from my sparse experience dealing with addict-friends and working for years in the same building as a heroin-distribution office, i can only say that it makes a world of difference, when the addiction is taken out of it's criminalised environment. if you're interested, i suggest this book: http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
totally with you concerning hancock. he's a current version of erich von däniken and quite good at marketing his cheesy and aggressive history-bending to the tinfoil-loving crew. which is a real shame, because there are aspects of his "research" that i find highly interesting and worthy of serious contemplation.
I am currently reading for the second time Dr. Mate's "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction" That is a must read if you struggle at least for me, if you are struggling with addiction.
He has a lot of lectures on YT as well and for those of you who cant afford to by the book its available in the trackers.
Basically this is a program I first heard about from the book, In The Realm of the Hungry Ghosts, which helped me out.
I've posted this around here a bit, and it might look like a lot to take in, but it's really good stuff. Here's the link to the program. I'd definitely recommend the book, too. It is incredibly thorough on all things addiction. Here's a link to the full book.
I type this out this morning at a time when I've been really doing poorly, so know that we're all just trying to escape the grip of addiction.
Childhood trauma. This is explained extremely well in Gabor Mate's book and I wouldn't want to water it down by trying to synopsize it here. https://www.amazon.com/dp/155643880X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_70zwyb82683S2
Someone recommended this book, and I casually started reading it - thought it might be interesting. But wow, I was wrong, this book blew me away and it is truly the wake up call that society needs. You should definitely, definitely read it.
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521249126&sr=8-1&keywords=in+the+realm+of+hungry+ghosts
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
by Gabor Mate
http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450283533&sr=1-1&keywords=in+the+realm+of+hungry+ghosts
[not a bad price] (http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=mt_paperback?_encoding=UTF8&me=). I'll put it into a wishlist.
NAH - Addiction is a horrible disease and rooted deeply from things that happened in childhood. Those that are voting you the asshole have probably never completely dealt with a situation like this.
Enabling people like this, unfortunately, doesn't seem to help things, because they will continue to take advantage forever in an endless loop.
I've dealt with this in some of my family, and I can tell you that I don't have an answer.
I did find the book "In the realm of hungry ghosts" to be a great read on these issues though.
I have been drinking now for close to 7 years and the last five years have been awful. I hide my wine and pretend that I didn't drink but end up mostly very drunk at night and acting weird in front of my husband and sometimes kids. I joined this group three days ago, and I feel I have found the first time people whom I understand. I read other stories that remind me so much of what I have done, and all this is a big struggle. This life can be a complete mess and full of irresponsible actions. Also, I know that people who never had an addiction to alcohol or other things like drugs than they may not fully understand what's going on.
I am now trying to understand why I have been drinking and if there is a way to stop it. Someone here in Reddit gave me a book and couple of video recommendations which I found it very interesting.
​
Book: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts - (https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X)
Videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5sOh4gKPIg&t=3s
Crazywise (https://crazywisefilm.com/) & In Utero (https://www.inuterofilm.com/)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs
I would recommend you speak to your mother about stopping alcohol when she hasn't had a drink. Good luck and hope she finds her way out
unprocessed trauma!!
If youre interested in learning more a man by the name of Gabor Mate does really excellent work in explaining the root cause of addiction and the effects of trauma on our society.
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj7q9GvMnRQ
I agree with you.
The next time you're looking for a nonfiction book to start, I recommend Dr. Gabor Maté's book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. It's based on his experience treating homeless addicts. He talks a lot about the science of addiction and strongly condemns the War on Drugs for many of the reasons you mentioned.
I've been listening to a book called In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts that you might find interesting. The author has worked for decades with addicts, a lot of the time with the most difficult cases -- people on skid row in Vancouver BC.
I like it because it goes way, way beyond the 12 step thinking I was first exposed to 40 years ago as the young partner of a classic Jekyll and Hyde drinker.
We know a lot about addiction these days that was a complete mystery to the men who formed the first AA groups. The steps fit into this author's framework, but they aren't the whole picture.
I also like that this book is narrative in style even though the information in it is grounded in both personal experience and solid, recent science. It's not aimed at us, except in the sense that the author is trying to give guidance about what exactly it is we're up against when we live in these relationships.
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
Maybe you could do hot yoga?
I never really found anything that could truly get rid of the chills. I remember wearing 2 pairs of long johns, 2 sweaters, under all the blankets I owned, shivering on my couch while my mom did my dishes after I bailed out of detox. That was many years ago, but even now that I'm clean I still find myself getting chilly all the time. My new best friend is an electric heating pad. It is so, so nice to curl up with at night.
You might like this book. It touches briefly on some aspects of different spiritualities, but also combines personal life experiences and a bit of neuroscience, too.
I've been teaching myself how to read tarot cards lately. It's really interesting and accessible, and can provide you great cues to gain some further insight into your inner workings.
Oh yeah, if you want something warm to drink that might help take the edge off a bit, you can try valerian tea, or a tea blended with valerian in it. Be warned, though. If you get valerian on its own, it seriously smells like super pungent stinky feet. It doesn't taste like that, tho. Tastes kinda like catnip or spearmint. If you can handle the stinky foot smell, it does good stuff for agitation.
It's kind of the premise behind one of the dominant theories of addiction:
(part of a synopsis of a book explaining the theory)
>Addiction, or the capacity to become addicted, is very close to the core of the human experience. That is why almost anything can become addictive, from seemingly healthy activities such as eating or exercising to abusing drugs intended for healing. The issue is not the external target but our internal relationship to it. Addictions, for the most part, develop in a compulsive attempt to ease one’s pain or distress in the world. Given the amount of pain and dissatisfaction that human life engenders, many of us are driven to find solace in external things. The more we suffer, and the earlier in life we suffer, the more we are prone to become addicted.
I cannot recommend "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts", by Gabor Maté, highly enough.
It is not only the best book on the subject of addiction that I have ever read, it is one of the best books I've ever read about anything.
I would strongly recommend that you read it too. Or at the very least read the brief QA with the author at https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X. Addictive behaviour can seem very counter-intuitive to those on the outside, and Maté was very instrumental in giving me a better understanding of, and compassion towards, the causes of addiction.
It's mentioned on the sub fairly frequently, honestly it's the best book on addiction I've ever read. Made sooo much sense, explained so much. Can't recommend it enough if that stuff interests you.
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X