Reddit reviews Ina May's Guide to Childbirth: Updated With New Material

It might be time to establish some of your own boundaries.

When people try to tell me their traumatic birth stories or any kind of pregnancy horror stories, I usually stop them and say "I know that birth can be traumatic and scary for some people and I'm sorry it was for you, but your story is not my story." Most people go to the horror stories because it's what the media perpetuates.

With regards to your fiance's family. I would tell them you're not comfortable discussing your weight or pregnancy related bodily functions with them. Tell you fiance that when they are face timing that is their time to talk and you will gladly share bump pictures with them when you are comfortable. I think I am fortunate in that my husband's family respects my boundaries.

If you're scared of birth, I highly recommend YouTube or googling "Positive Birth Stories". Ina May Gaskin is very much a natural and home birth advocate, but her book, Guide to Childbirth has some wonderful birth stories at the beginning of it.

I would recommend that you read this book, especially if you plan on delivering babies in the future. It was recommended to my by a friend who has had 3 babies.

For me I have a lot of allergies and other issues and am working on balancing my body... painkillers are one of the things that can cause my system to go off track again and I don't want to expose the baby to that either. I've also read what others have about leading to further interventions and slowing labor and finally I believe in the power of my body and mind to be able to cope with this. I think the biggest thing is to let go of the fear.

Ina May's Guide to Child Birth, along with any of her other books.

I've read the Mayo Clinic Guide and I really liked it. Tons of information, week-by-week info, and you can trust the source.

I'm currently starting Expecting Better by Emily Oster, and I honestly can't say I'm impressed right now. I just finished the alcohol section, and while I get what she's saying that you shouldn't be freaked if you have a drink or so, I find her conclusions somewhat dangerous in general. After college, I worked in a drug and alcohol program performing research (this wasn't a rehab program--most people were in their 20s-30s and drank socially), and most people do not realize how much they drink when they drink (either by day or by week). They were often shocked to realize how much they actually drink. It's very easy for most people to overdo it. I don't care that she finds the abstinence recommendation offensive and thinks that "pregnant women can think for themselves." That's great. We can. But most people have a hard time judging exactly when a drink is a drink, and it's better in general to just say "hey, keep out of it." End rant.

I also have Ina May's Guide to Childbirth in my closet. It was gifted to me after my cousin gave birth to her second and final (along with two full bags of maternity clothes) 😱 I believe that batch also came with What to Expect, a baby name book, and I think maybe one other. I'll get to these eventually!