We found 193 Reddit comments about Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
This series which is the basis for an upcoming talk of mine at BSides Philly in December.
Fallacies and biases.
How to Win Friends/Influence people (TL:DR)
Blair's One sentence persuasion.
48 Laws of Power
Cialdini's Influence (haven't read new pre-suasion yet)
How to google effectively using search operators (adv - "dorking)".
Should get you going.
Its easy to say its obviously bullshit after the fact. But looking at the page, it is actually non-obvious for people outside the medical professions to know its bullshit.
Measurement of all these values might actually be possible with a device this size. That caloric intake can not be infered from all of this is not necessarily obvious. After all you can for example measure O2 concentration in the blood non-invasively only by shining light onto the skin. Its not that far of a stretch for not medically-trained persons to believe caloric measurement could also be possible.
Whenever something is shown to be bullshit, people are always fast to say that everyone who fell for it is/was an idiot. These people either forget or dont know yet how easy it is to be manipulated, and how often it happens to every single one of us every day. Thinking you are somehow immune to beeing fooled actually makes it easier for people to fool you, because you are not on guard.
I woke up to a FB message from someone telling me that this had been shared here, so I tracked it; I'm the OP for the FB post. I'm sorry I'm so long-winded, but I just kept typing; it was actually just supposed to be a reach-out to some friends who are getting into ItWorks! and Lipsense, to caution them not to get too deep. I don't do a lot of social media, so I'm not good at viral posting or anything like that, but I wanted to come and provide more information from my notes for those interested. I got to sit in front of two subject matter experts for three hours, and everything I wrote was a credit to their life's work to undo the damage of high-demand groups.
I'm a Navy vet and psychology doctoral candidate from WV, and I work in mental health. I attended a training earlier this month from two guys from Wellspring WV, which is a really great facility that focuses primarily on helping people recover from re-education, high-demand groups, and what we could traditionally call "cult" activity and "brainwashing" (These awesome gentlemen are named Jeff Bryson and Greg Sammons; they also reference Dr. Alexandra Stein, who was a reformed cult member and is now a prominent SME in the field). It was about three hours of talking about the general tactics that are applied by the leaders of these groups to expand control. The focal point of the training was actually Scientology, but I was immediately fascinated by the claims that coercive control extended to MLM groups. Specifically, they mentioned someone from ASU (for the life of me, I can't remember who, because things were moving fast, there were a lot of slides, and I forgot to write down his name) who actually teaches a seminar on how to apply these coercion tactics in a MLM; so, ASU's School of Business has a MLM-factory,maybe from this Michael Sheffield dude somewhere in its midst (but he covers his ass by stressing that people only use the information "ethically". Yeah. Right.) So for the past few weeks, I've been poring through whatever literature I can find. Here are some of the things that have been in my general reading list, not focused on MLM:
This dude has a bunch of good stuff in social influence and persuasion, really great read for just generally becoming better at social interaction.
If you're interested in reading about this and other subtle strategies used to influence, I suggest you check out the book influence: the psychology of persuasion. It's one of my faves. It details:
That hard yank on the emotions drives urgency. Too hard a yank is 9 times out of 10 your clue of a financial scheme.
Recommended reading, "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion"
Also known as invoking the law of reciprocity. When someone gives you something you feel compelled to return the favor. Also the cause for streetside advocates (clipboard protesters, hare krishnas) handing you stickers or flowers, or why you get those free return address stickers for your mail when they want you to buy household office supplies.
Cialdini's book is fantastic if you like this stuff: http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Revised-Edition/dp/006124189X
A higher price can in fact spur higher demand. For example, when (average) consumers have no other information to differentiate product quality they can conflate price with quality - it costs more so it must be more valuable. IIRC this is mentioned in Cialdini's book Influence. He mentions a jeweller who had trouble moving some jewellery. He put them on sale and nothing happened, but when he raised the price they flew off the shelves.
The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature - evolutionary psychology, behavioral genetics. (probably most interesting from a Freudian perspective, deals with many of our unconscious instincts)
Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces The Shape Our Decisions - Unconscious decision-making, behavioral economics, consumer psychology. Fun read.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion - Most popular book on the psychology of persuasion, covers all the main principles. Very popular among business crowds.
Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships - Social neuroscience, mirror neurons, empathy, practical stuff mixed with easy to understand brain science.
Authentic Happiness - Positive Psychology, happiness, increasing life satisfaction.
Feeling Good - A good primer on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Also widely considered one of the best self-help books by mental health practitioners.
The Brain That Changes Itself - Neuroplasticity, how experience shapes our brains. Some really remarkable case studies that get you wondering how powerful our brains really are.
The Buddhist Brain - The practical neuroscience of happiness, love, and wisdom from a Buddhist perspective.
That should give you more than enough to chew on.
I got a book you'd enjoy man. Seriously, that long post was beautiful.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/006124189X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_HWNXHZwOT7LWf
I wrote a quick script to search the full text of HPMOR and return everything italicized and in title case, which I think got most of the books mentioned in the text:
Book title|Author|Mentioned in chapter(s)|Links|Notes
Encyclopaedia Britannica| |7|Wikipedia|Encyclopaedia
Financial Times| |7|Wikipedia|Newspaper
The Feynman Lectures on Physics|Richard P. Feynman|8|Wikipedia|Full text is available online here
Judgment Under Uncertainty: Heuristics and Biases|Amos Tversky|8|Amazon|
Language in Thought and Action|S.I. Hayakawa|8|Amazon Wikipedia |
Influence: Science and Practice|Robert B. Cialdini|8|Wikipedia|Textbook. See also Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Rational Choice in an Uncertain World: The Psychology of Judgment and Decision Making|Reid Hastie and Robyn Dawes|8|Amazon |Textbook
Godel, Escher, Bach|Douglas Hofstadter|8, 22|Amazon Wikipedia|
A Step Farther Out|Jerry Pournelle|8|Amazon|
The Lord of the Rings|J.R.R. Tolkien|17|Wikipedia|
Atlas Shrugged|Ayn Rand|20, 98|Wikipedia|
Chimpanzee Politics|Frans de Waal|24|Amazon|
Thinking Physics: Understandable Practical Reality|Lewis Carroll Epstein|35, 102|Amazon|
Second Foundation|Isaac Asimov|86|Wikipedia|Third novel in the Foundation Series
Childcraft: A Guide For Parents| |91|Amazon|Not useful if your child has a mysterious dark side
Also, this probably isn't technically what the OP was asking, but since the script returned fictional titles along with real ones, I went ahead and included them too:
Book title|Mentioned in chapter(s)
The Quibbler|6, 27, 38, 63, 72, 86
Hogwarts: A History|8, 73, 79
Modern Magical History|8
Intermediate Potion Making|17
Occlumency: The Hidden Arte|21
Daily Prophet|22, 25, 26, 27, 35, 38, 53, 69, 77, 84, 86, 108
The Skeptical Wizard|29
Beauxbatons: A History|63
Moste Potente Potions|78
Toronto Magical Tribune|86
New Zealand Spellcrafter's Diurnal Notice|86
As others mentioned, TVTropes has a virtually-exhaustive list of allusions to other works, which includes books that aren't explicitly named in the text, like Ender's Game
A few, in no particular order:
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials)
Mastering Your Hidden Self: A Guide to the Huna Way (A Quest Book)
My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fantasies
Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People
The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
Outliers: The Story of Success
Iron John: A Book About Men
Social Justice Warriors Always Lie: Taking Down The Thought Police by Vox Day <== A really important work
Propaganda by Edward Bernays
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
SJW attack survival guide drawing on the work of Vox Day
How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
Google "verbal self defense" and a lot will pop up, if you are talking about 1-on-1 and small group contexts.
Google "influence" or "persuasion" or "propaganda" or "social change" if you are talking about large groups or society as a whole.
JBP advised somewhat against this on the PKA podcast and you can know why if you read the book "Influence" over the difference ways you can manipulate people.
The way the communist parties in china were able to convert american spies to communism was by sitting them down and having them write a paper on the good points that communism has. They didn't have to believe what they wrote, they just had to write it.
That's fair enough right? What's the harm in that?
The harm in that is that if you write something then the brain will tend to believe what you're writing is true. Hence, this is a very subtle form of brainwashing. Writing down the leftist ideology just becuase it's what your professor wants to hear might get you the grades, but it also makes you more likely to change your mind.
I don't know if knowing this fact makes it any less risky but I do know that you should be careful with this kind of thinking for good reason.
I think that you just shouldn't be in such courses in the first place because the topics that the social justice ideology are the most powerful in are also the classes which have the least quantitative and practical use. That's why STEM has been slow to catch on, though it won't stay that way for long. At the very least, if you're in a physics class then at least the exam is still on physics.
Io consiglio vivamente il libro che sto leggendo in questi giorni: Robert Cialdini - Influence - The Psychology Of Persuasion.
Spiega molti meccanismi con numerosi esempi, copre anche quello di cui la ragazza cui fa riferimento OP è rimasta vittima.
You may also be interested in Robert Cialdini
Just in case, you're interested: A slightly broader theory is called argumentative theory. An easy introduction is available from Edge.org.
> The one thing I can't find is effective tactics to deal with motivated reasoning.
There are quite a few tests, but most direct attempts have simply failed. This makes sense if reasoning evolved to help us win arguments.
The literature on persuasion – the seminal book is Cialdini's "Influence" – uses techniques to build trust, first.
If this is not possible, don't argue. Just stick to educating your opponent about your position.
Read Influence by Cialdini, it's the classic work on the subject. The first google hit is a Summary of it.
No matter what you think you know, if you haven't read Getting to Yes you are still in the matrix.
Your relationship to a woman is not an agreement or a deal, it is your experience of the effects and results of how you relate to each other.
Persuasion and negotiation are tools that enable you to set and maintain the terms of how you relate to people. Stupid people say, "I don't negotiate," which actually means, "I don't know what mistakes I've made." Some guys say, "it's take it or leave it," which is just one of many bargaining tactics.
Most women just use ultimatums and other tactics that reduce to bullying. Typically the hamster goes full retard when it is presented with trade-offs, but in RP terms, your BATNA is your frame, and there is a lot of subtle prior art written on the topic. See above.
I thought it was interesting to see an item there called "Cialdini+2"
Robert Cialdini is the author of a book called Influence (clean link, no affiliate bs)
I read this book and found it pretty interesting. But I wonder what the hell the +2 means.
The summary of his main points in the book, from his wiki page:
Consistency. Check out the book Influence...
> manipulating the process
who isn't manipulating the process? Gitlin certainly would like to, hopes the press will, and believes they can -- this is a pretty clear advocacy piece, is it not? read the final sentence should you have any doubt:
> If they don’t put down their softballs, if they don’t stop letting simple-minded questions substitute for serious exploration, they’ll share responsibility for enabling — and helping elect — President Donald J. Trump.
so let's not pretend objectivity is the goal. it is what Gitlin presumes is a convenient means to his desired end.
but that's where he is wrong. he either does not understand how influence works or is pretending not to.
as others have noted: "Facts don’t necessarily have the power to change our minds. In fact, quite the opposite." that's what the science says, and it's dead right.
it's also something dyed-in-the-wool journalists have known since the dawn of journalism. every piece is an advocacy piece, no matter what it pretends to be. and Trump is certainly keenly aware of that truth, even if Gitlin isn't.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
>Influence, the classic book on persuasion, explains the psychology of why people say "yes"—and how to apply these understandings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is the seminal expert in the rapidly expanding field of influence and persuasion. His thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior has resulted in this highly acclaimed book.
i would be very surprised if that worked. people all have a sense of someones status in their heads. if someone tries to cheat and change their statuts without approval of the group they will penalize that. They will bully, gossip, hate, and that's not what you want either.
Here is a good (awesome!) social psychology lecture that explains how group status works: link.
The high status people in your group want to keep their high status. If you want to change your status you have to do it very slowly and carefully.
Don't know specifics of what you're after, so I'll shotgun you with links:
This book covers the topic:
It's a great, short read. I highly recommend it.
For what it's worth, nearly all contemporary research into persuasion disagrees with this view.
Once emotion is brought into frame (e.g. putting someone on the defensive), it's very difficult to appeal to reason using a logical argument. For example, odds are you're dismissing this comment right now.
If you're interested, this book is an excellent and well-sourced primer.
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene (also try his other books, utterly fascinating, beautiful pieces of work)
Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Vital Lies, Simple Truths by Daniel Goleman
The Blank Slate by Steven Pinker
Leadership and Self Deception by The Arbinger Institute
Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury
Influence by Robert Cialdini
I could go on but these would have to be my favourites that come to mind which relate to what you seem to be interested in. Let me know if you want more suggestions :)
Or they think that after you've put in all that energy, you'll overlook it. There is actually a psychological phenomenon behind this that I read about in this book: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Basically, once you've put in the energy to do something, you tend to try to convince yourself that you didn't waste all that energy in vain. It's the reason all those infomercials give you that "if you're not completely satisfied, send it back within 90 days" bullshit. There actually is science behind this. Here's how these girls use it to their advantage:
Once I met a girl on okcupid that was really cute in her profile. But, when we met in person she was twice as big as she was in her pics. I wish this was hyperbole. She told me that those pics were from when she was spending $500 a month on a personal trainer to look hot for her high school reunion. I'm the lucky guy that got to date her six months later.
Needless to say, when I first saw her my initial thought was, "I wish I had explosive diarrhea right now so I could get out of this". But, after the introduction, my thoughts changed to, "Well, I might as well make the best of a crappy situation and try to enjoy the meal". At the end of the night, "You know, let's say she hypothetically offered me a BJ with no strings attached, I'd be down". And, as I walked her back to her car, "There's no way I'm going on a second date with her. I mean... at least not unless she begs for it". It's easy to see how I'd be paying child support right now if she played her cards right.
I recommend that she read Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. Even people with finely-tuned BS meters fall for all sorts of psychological tricks in very reliable ways. It's important to know about them beforehand so that you know when you experience them being used on you.
This is a great synopsis. The goal of advertising is to make you feel at bad about your current situation, and to believe that the product offered will cure that sadness. It can be something mundane like floor wax ("my floor will no longer look like shit") or aspirational like an iPhone ("my boring life will become awesome").
If you get the target emotionally engaged, the next step is get them to take action, which is why so many TV ads end with "Call now at 800-xxx-xxxx." They don't want there to be any doubt about the next step.
The book Influence talks about some other ideas that help motivate action, such as:
Manipulation of the perception of scarcity (and artificial scarcity) is one of the oldest persuasion and sales tricks in the book, and it's particularly effective in fanatical sub-markets where collecting is a thing. Card trading, music markets (limited edition box sets, etc.) Act now, only 3 left, etc. Only going on sale at midnight, etc. All fucking stupid [trite sales tactics] (https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X) that date back to the mid 20th century and earlier.
I think what you are planning to say is pretty good. Be aware that you aren't going to be able to use a one size fits all answer for every situation you encounter (but there are probably less than a dozen answers that will fit 90% of your encounters with omnivores).
I want to correct your use of the term "door-in-the-face". The Door-in-the-face technique is a tactic for getting someone to agree to a moderate request by first asking them for something significantly larger that they are unlikely to agree to. An example of this would be asking someone to go entirely vegan right away and then when they reject that request asking if they'd at least be willing to eat no meat on Mondays. Using this strategy is often much more effective for getting people to avoid meat on Mondays than simply asking them if they'd be willing to do that.
Your use of the foot-in-the-door technique is also a bit off. This is a strategy for getting someone to agree to a large request by first asking them for something small that they would be much more likely to agree to. For example you could ask people to put up a small sticker in their window that says "I support animal rights" then return a month later and ask them to give up meat. They'd be much more likely to give up meat using this strategy than had you asked them upfront.
The book Change of Heart by Nick Cooney (the founder of the Humane League) discusses many more strategies like this for being an effective activist. Another excellent book that I read on the subject of compliance tactics is Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion although this one isn't specifically about animal rights activism.
> I did not mean to blame a particular group of women. I just mean that it sounds to me as though women sometimes blame advertising for their insecurities.
But you are blaming a really large population (half the population of the world) - that's a pretty huge statement. And the irony is that you are calling women silly but doing so with lazy thinking - you haven't looked into the issue and haven't studied advertising, yet you feel qualified to state that they are silly for thinking it has an influence on them. Do you see the irony in that?
> I really don't know whether "men" overall are or aren't. What I mean is that in my experience, men are not as vocal as women about the social issue of ad-driven insecurity.
And considering that men aren't silent when they feel something is unfair against them - just check out the many whines of guys on reddit for examples, such as the 'nice guy' myth and the whole 'friendzone' thing for two of the most common examples. So if advertising was as prevalent in telling men they are fat/ugly/smelly/leaky, surely we would see the complaints. In fact, ads are getting more active in their attacks on men and you do see some complaints (in r/oney, usually) but this is a recent thing (in terms of decades) whereas for as long as advertising has been about, it's been harrassing women to better themselves with products to make themselves desirable and good wives. Actually until recently (and still quite often you'll find this) the authoritative voice in an ad is male and the subject of the ad is female - detergent ads tend to do this a lot.
> I had to laugh at myself on this one, because you are right. I am in science and if there is one thing I am always learning it is how ignorant I am!
And I work in marketing :)
> The point I was trying to make is that advertising is a supply-demand industry. If the demand wasn't there, i.e. if people stopped consuming it, advertising would dry up.
I thought it was pretty well known that in the last 3 or 4 decades, this just hasn't been true. We are not in need of very much these days, we have everything we need but marketing agencies create a false need... they create a gap and then they fill it with their product. Just look at the stampedes that have taken place over things like games, furniture, face cream - there is no need, there is no scarce resource... but the seriously clever and manipulative marketing agency has created this 'need' and 'demand'.
I think you would enjoy looking into the tactics of marketing; it's fascinating and really scary. A bit of a pop-psyche book but a quick read is 'Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion'. I recently read it as I want to know mine enemy so that I can arm myself :)
> Personally I choose not to "consume" entertainment goods that make me feel bad about myself.
Me too but I find myself having to consciously not look at the ads around me, not let the ads on telly come on (mute!), not read the ads in magazines, not look at the bilboards in the tube station while I wait for my train, not look at the ads in the train itself... they're everywhere and it's tiring, seriously. When I turned 30, I realised that the face cream ads were now directed at me and just added it to my list of things to block out.
The problem is that you need to actively block it out because passively, you will take it in. They are subtle manipulations.
You need to get to a doctor, so that they can properly diagnose you and get you better meds. Maybe talk to your school nurse and try to convince her to write you a note that will help convince you parents to take you to the doctor. Maybe read some books on persuasion, to help you get what you need out of others. I liked Influence and have heard good things about Presuasion. You unfortunately will have to start taking care or yourself now. That might mean earning money so that you can pay for a doctors appointment, or figuring out how to get on medicaid. Sorry for your suffering.
here you go
People use "brain washing" too freely.
My opinion is, people are too ashamed and scared to admit their own weaknesses.
Let me give you an example;
Bill Clinton. People love the guy. But here's the thing, a ton of people very much dislike his politics.
I forget the exact quote, but one of those people said, "You hate Bill Clinton before you meet him and after he leaves, but while he's there talking to you, you like the guy."
People can blame Scientology all they like, but I think it's exactly what the name sounds like; it's the religion of science. And it uses the science that everyone claims isn't a science, psychology.
Having a degree in psychology, and having had more people than I can count tell me I "should have picked a real degree," I can't help but feel a guilty twinge of happiness when I see people say things like "Scientology brainwashes people!"
No; they're using psychological principles to make you not only accept and like any horse poo they spout, but they change your beliefs. Brain wash? Pfft. They're doing what Bill Clinton does in his interviews.
It actually helps them that you claim they're brainwashing people, because it keeps people from learning the science behind what they're really doing (which just so happens to be my "worthless" degree). Words like brainwashing might as well be the modern day word for "magic," because 99% of people don't actually know what that means, or how people really change other people's minds. Another modern-magical word is "hypnosis." Everyone knows the word, and people are like "Oooo, magic..." but again, 99% of people don't know what it is or how it works. There are literal "magic shows" that have hypnotists, and people call things like that "mental magic."
Calling it brain washing is basically telling 99% of people, "It's not your fault. You couldn't help it. They used magic on you!" And for the people saying they were brainwashed? You notice how they never give real details about what the people actually did to them to "make" them want it? They might as well be saying "They used voodoo on me! I couldn't stop myself!"
Well you can stop yourself, it wasn't "brainwashing," and people want what Scientology has to offer because they're using science to make people want it (like Bill Clinton can control an interview on a supposedly Republican television network, and manage to look good, and make it look like everyone there loves him and he's in control). Even if they crash and burn as a religion, which I doubt, they'll make a ton of money in marketing.
If you're interested in the science, I'd recommend:
Covers this topic, and is good material if you want to start practicing it for your own gain.
I liked this one on body language and this one on persuasion.
Read Influence (http://www.amazon.com/dp/006124189X). People anchor to prices, so low-balling and high-balling are valid strategies to try to move the price.
I highly recommend Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, which is basically a simplified and actionable version of his more popular book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.
Note: I have not read the latter book.
PsyBlog is also great (not related to Cialdini).
And of course, How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic and is still relevant.
You got it!
If you're interested in consistently making more, a good place to start is Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. It's crazy what most people will do given the right triggers. We've worn out several copies of that book already.
As a computer nerd that grew up in front of a computer, survived the dot com bubble, struggled through many failures and is now independently wealthy, these are the best books you can possibly read.
Book - Audio | Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
Book - Audio | Thou Shall Prosper - Daniel Lappin
Book - Audio | How To Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Book - Audio | Unlimited Power - Anthony Robbins
Book | Influence - Robert Cialdini
And you're golden.
I'm going to piggyback on and recommend:
Influence: The Art of Persuasion
Many books are written from a sales person point of view of "here is how you manipulate people".
The book above is from a psychologist who looks at it from the point of view of "Here is how are minds are vulnerable to manipulation and how to protect yourself".
So a few thoughts that may help, relative to what you've just described:
For communicating in difficult situations both Difficult Conversations and Crucial Conversations are good. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion is the best book on how persuasion works, but How to Win Friends & Influence People is the definitive practical book on persuasion.
The Definitive Book of Body Language is a good book on the subject, which is fundamental to face to face communication.
A few I enjoyed
If you are curious about that stuff you should check out the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. He talks about cults and the mechanisms that are hardwired into humans that scammers take advantage of. https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X
Influence by Caldini is better. Read it if you haven't.
Same goes for selling anything really. A great book to read if you're into things like this is Influence: The Psychology of persuasion, by Robert Cialdini ...
It discusses a technique like this where real estate agents will leave a high priced house on the market and take you to it first to see if you want to buy it (its just a setup)... after that they take you to a mid priced house that's close to the same, so you feel like you're getting a good deal because you're comparing it to the overpriced house without realization. Some very cool practical tricks in that book for selling and persuading.
"Psychologists/Psychiatrists are people who generally act as though people don't have autonomy over themselves"
While people have autonomy, it's very clear that the human brain has programming that when stimulated a certain way illicits an automated response that is only really defeated by being consciously aware of what is going on. No one walks around completely mindful and aware of the manipulations on a day to day basis. Read the book Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion and you will get a better idea of what I am talking about.
A Field Guide to Earthlings is the best I've found in print. From there I would read Games People Play, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, and strangely, You Can't Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar. Also, The Selfish Gene explains memetics well. (The mind from the view of ideas as self-replicators) The Authoritarians was very enlightening for people's illogical behavior. I also found some things I use at the CIA website, The Psychology of Intelligence Gathering which is a free online book. Finally, ChangingMinds.org is an excellent FREE resource. They have a book which makes great claims but the price was too steep for me to evaluate it.'
Mix in a little Dunning Kruger Effect and some Hamiltonian Spite and you get a pretty cynical, yet useful, theory of minds.
This is called contrast principle. There is a lot of info on this and other methods businesses use in this book:
[Influence by Robert Cialdini] (http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Business-Essentials/dp/006124189X)
Or the [free version] (http://www.iiit.ac.in/~bipin/files/Dawkins/July/Robert%20Cialdini%20-%20Influence%252C%20Science%20and%20Practice.pdf)
He mentions persuasion several times and there is a lot of work on psychology on that topic: https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X
Trump has strong persuasion game, which is partly how I found out about the topic.
Also, check out "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion". It isn't directly focused on religion, but it was one of the books that made me aware of how I had been drinking the kool-aid of Christianity for so long, and led to my eventual deconversion.
Robert Cialdini I think. I'll find a link
Edit: here we go
Its an old book though - you can almost certainly find it at your library for free.
I read a great book about exactly that a few years ago. Here's an Amazon link. Great book.
Great list! I have read all the above and totally agree that their value is worthwhile to anyone seeking to improve their life -- regardless of financial status, relationships, profession, etc. A couple others that I've found useful along the road:
6. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by N. Branden. During the reawakening stage and after a particularly painful breakup, I found this book helpful. Learning the concept of "alone-ness" versus "loneliness" continues to drive many motivations.
7. Games People Play by Eric Berne. Want to understand why your plate/gf/wife went batshit insane over the stupidest thing, and how to counteract it in the future? Read this book. Want to understand why your coworker was making those strange comments to your boss? Read this book - a must for anyone wanting to learn more about game theory and its application to everyday life. (Next on my list is The Art of Strategy ).
8. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. In many ways this is an antithesis to Freudian thought -- whereas Freud argued man is happy when seeking and obtaining pleasure, Frankl postulates that finding meaning and understanding is what makes us happy. In the context of TRP theory, meditating on, if not fully understanding, these concepts is absolutely necessary.
9. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. The seminal work on the concept and application of persuasion. From negotiations to dating/relationships to job performance, I would rank this book at the top of many lists.
A few other authors/books I've seen mentioned elsewhere that are worth checking out: anything by Kurt Vonnegut, The Art of War by Sun Tzu (which goes hand in hand with The Prince for a great East/West study), and Rollo Tomassi. I've also found some of Oscar Wilde's writing to be both amusing and insightful.
The Art of Deception: Controlling the Human Element of Security
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People
Manwatching: A Field Guide to Human Behavior
How to Win Friends & Influence People
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis
The 48 Laws of Power
Totally agree with /u/AnnaBalena. Saying no does not make you a bad person. You may consider reading Influence Practitioners . It covers the psychology of creating the sense of obligation you appear to feel so strongly. It will help you identify when people are intentionally manipulating you.
1.) Influence by Robert Cialdini
2.) Secrets of power negotiating by Roger Dawson
Note: links are to amazon though any library or used book will do.
On Food and Cooking by Harold McGee
A Pattern Language by Christopher Alexander
On War by Von Clausewitz
Influence by Robert Cialdini
Rules for Radicals by Saul Alinsky
Improving Performance: How to Manage the Whitespace in the Organization Chart by Geary Rummler
Books by Edward T. Hall
Books by Edward Tufte
Books by Jiddu Krishnamurti
The Reflective Practitioner: How Professionals Think in Action by Donald Schön
let me know if you want more....
Some popular psychology books that are very well done:
Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert
Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Chialdini
Some girls get turned on when they're afraid, some girls get afraid when they're turned on, etc.
And... let me dig this up... ah:
“Did you know your body can’t tell the difference between fear and arousal? The book Influence describes a study showing that people in scary situations will believe they are falling in love. The brain simply creates a story to explain the feelings in the body. And the story is wrong.” (From here.)
A few book recommendations if you're a reader (btw, you can get these USED super cheap).
How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie
The Definitive Book of Body Language: The Hidden Meaning Behind People's Gestures and Expressions - Barbara and Allan Pease
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion - Robert B. Cialdini
These three books went a LONG way toward making me a much more likable, personable, and conversational person.
The advice in How To Win Friends and Influence People is absolutely STELLAR and so simple that anyone can apply it.
And paying attention to people's body language -- once you get GOOD at it -- can give you a hidden window into what they may be thinking at a given time, which can help you to make adjustments on the fly with how you interact with others.
And in Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, that's when you really get into the nitty gritty details of so many of the reasons why it is people do what it is they do. This information can certainly used for unethical purposes to further your interests, but instead I recommend that you use it for good and for beneficial reasons instead.
Seriously, READ these and your problem with interacting with others will be WELL on its way to being solved!
I don't know what it's called, but it's a kind of group reaction in that if no one does anything, no one else does anything. It happens in other situations, too, such as if someone is hurt (not necessarily because of an attack). People look around them for clues on how to react, but if no one is doing anything, they don't do anything either.
To break the cycle, someone needs to do something. So if you are in a situation like that, don't just make a general cry for help. Address a specific person. Choose someone, point at them and say "Hey, you, I want you to call the police/ambulance/whatever".
That's a great book on this called Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. I highly recommend this book, it makes so much of seemingly irrational human behaviour make sense, at least while you're reading it. :)
http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Business-Essentials/dp/006124189X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1346448057&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=cialdini+influence --- I have found this book by Cialdini on persuassion very interesting. When I read, I have aha moments when I understand how and why the strategies are so effective. An example is girl scout asking you to buy 5 boxes of cookies, instead of you buying 5 boxes which is a lot, you may compromise by agreeing to buy just one box. There is so many golden nuggets in that book. These methods are so effective, you should really have good intentions when using the tactics.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Best book on dating ever. Even if it's really on marketing.
Good morning Everyone,
Thank you for all the great comments. A little more about myself, I am actually not a fortune baby. I was brought into the practice 6 years ago through a mutual friend. After a year into the practice I started having doubts and having my district leader give me a portrait of Ikeda to add next to my Rabbits Foot (Gohonzon Alter) was creepy. They tried to keep me involved by having me join IYE (Ikeda Youth Ensemble) which is just really playing forever Sensei and a circle jerk. Around the same time I was in community college taking a social psychology class and read a book by ASU Doctor Cialdini on the Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and learned about Jim Jones. I highly recommend this book as a counter measure to influence tactics. This helped me understand how people can be persuaded through pervasive means.
I decided to throw away my gohonzon box and scroll and guess what?? Nothing happened to me. I wasn't struck down by lighting and actually I was doing way better. I was able to transfer to a good 4 year university and graduate. They kept on pestering me for about 4 years about reconnecting me and finally I got fed up and said sure. I told them that I lost my gohonzon, so they gave me a new one during the 50K lions of justice movement. Within a couple weeks they promoted me to Unit Leader LOL. The guy who allegedly lost his gohonzon was appointed a leader to chant and care for 3 other district members. Today, I can't stand going to that monthly Kosen Rufu Gongyo where people watch the same recycled videos of Ikeda's meetings in the past. People in the audience still applause to a video of a plump Japanese guy they never meet, and who is probably dead. I am trying to tread lightly in leaving the org because I am concerned about stalkers. Any recommendations?
Fresh of the group line
Ikeda Sensei completes
"New Human Revolution"
in one week, September 8, 2018.
It's a historic moment.
Mmmmmm. first of all, how can he finish the series in the future, and second how can he finish the book if he is probably vegetated or 6 feet under???
Please discuss or post funny SGI internal communications on here.
Here is what I recommend currently:
(You can get it free if you take the courses with out the degree)
Foundations To Advanced Topics:
(Neil Patel is one of the few Internet Marketers I would trust. He has successful businesses and is fairly transparent)
Books that can help you with marketing:
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion - Once you read this book you will see the techniques used everywhere in marketing. Once you understand the techniques you can apply them yourself.
The Anatomy of Story: 22 Steps to Becoming a Master Storyteller - Everyone talks about copywriting, but IMO most copy is written way to salsy and is obvious. I have had much better results using stories to sell and most of my sales pages use story telling techniques to bring the reader on a journey.
The Copywriters Handbook - That said, you should still understand the point of copy and this book does a good job. Once you know the fundamentals of copywriting you can sell almost anything.
What to avoid:
Avoid any courses that are selling Techniques or formulas (I.E: My Super Awesome Snapchat Method that brought in $5000") while most have useful information the issue is simple:
Formulas/Templates/Tactics will only get you so far and won't always work. Yes, some methods have been proven to work time and time again, but you are still better off learning the fundamentals of marketing and sales over reusing tactics and templates.
By learning the fundamentals you will be able to rapidly test and try new things to see what works and doesn't. This will give you more flexibility and success in the long wrong.
Most people sell courses around tactics because most customers want a lazy way to make money. Do they work? yes and no. There is no real answer - these tactics may work for you or not as there are a lot of things to factor in.
When buying a course check out the instructor. A lot of Internet Marketers only had 1 success before selling courses on the subject. If someone claims to be an awesome marketer and doesn't have more than 1 success as proof, something is wrong and most likely that success was a fluke.
Most trustworthy marketers normally will have a long track record of successes or at the very least have well known clients (Google/Facebook/Coke/etc).
TL;DR: Avoid tactics/templates/Formulas and learn the fundamentals of marketing.
Not OP but this book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition was a pretty sweet read. Really made me want to go into the world more and see how much of this stuff happens to myself. Also reads pretty decently.
It's been long time since anybody asked me that. I love this kind of question!
Here are some key books that somehow represent how I think:
Something everybody should read (not about game theory, but about thinking and decision making):
> I'm talking about products like iPhones, or expensive shirts, perfumes, etc. which can have a low cost of production but are able to be sold at higher margins just for carrying some "aura" of distinction (like a brand).
Symbolic value, if you're referring to persuasive techniques, can raise or lower the sales price a bit, but the overall correlation between labor time and price is still the only really strong relationship.
These arguments have been used ad nauseum, almost always if you'll notice for luxury items only, because they allow capitalists to ignore the aggregate (IE, huge numbers of people spending their labor time), and focus on the outliers, rather than labor time statistics en masse.
Of course they'll use every trick in the book (BTW I suggest everyone read the psychology of persuasion about this), to counteract the tendency of profit to fall, but IMO its value is more in creating a society obsessed with over-production and over-consumption, than changing the actual value of goods produced.
Its like saying that app that used to be available on the iphones that was $10k and probably took 5 minutes to code "disproves" the LTV. Yeah that happens, but when we look at country and industry-wide data, labor time is the best indicator we have for value, meaning money is ultimately a meaningless abstraction for labor time.
And this https://www.amazon.com/dp/006124189X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_dMmozbWME8S98
And for fun read, get Matt Beaumont's "e" and "e squared": https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s_ss_i_0_9?k=matt+beaumont&amp;sprefix=matt+beau
Also, get this for general knowledge of some of the great work done in particular medium: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1118101332/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_0Qmozb5TPRJCS
Hay mate, that way never works, you'll probably get a head of a lot of the nicer people out there, but people who lie, cheat and steal to get ahead it always ends up catching them in the end and becomes their biggest downfall, honestly never been the best course of action.
I think its why usually people are looking for other ways in creating successful businesses and why many are doing much better lately. Maybe its best to check out:
Relevant Must read.
48 Laws of Power would be a great starting point.
You may also find some value in the likes of The Game for learning charisma and attractiveness. There's also a [pretty incredible TV series](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pickup_Artist_(TV_series) about the same topic. This scene is/was full of douchebags of course, but there are lessons here to be learned.
What Every Body is Saying for mastery of body language. This WILL change the way you interact with others, as you start to read what they are doing as they do it and respond accordingly.
The granddaddy of persuasion is Influence. I am reading this for the third time right now and it is just packed with powerful tools you can use in business and in life.
Oh it should go without saying that How To Win Friends and Influence People is essential reading for any entrepreneur. I use lessons I learned from this book every time I deal with an unhappy client or contractor.
Get him to perform a small favour and he will like you:
There's also lots of articles on how to ask for a favour. For example, a request to take cuts at a photocopier only got about 60% success, but when you add "because" the success rate was 94%, even if the reason was stupid. Go buy this book
read books, good salesmanship is simply understanding who you're selling too. There's plenty of good books on negotiation and psychology etc that you can read to understand the mindset of the people you're selling to.
Read it all. There's books about the power of yes, trying to get them to agree to little things and get used to saying yes before you ask them the big thing. There's another book about the power of no, how getting people to say no can help you get a final yes at the end. It's very interesting to read both sides of the argument and you can use your knowledge of both sides to craft your sale pitches.
And finally since i don't want to seem like i'm a long winded person that just throws out words, here's two book recommendations -Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss and Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini
I'm not into self help either :/ influence wasn't self help or was it ? I'm talking about this one: http://www.amazon.in/gp/aw/d/006124189X
I'm in Bombay. Where do you park your submarine ;) ?
It's not about being deep it's about psychology and automatic responses, people become happy when they see or hear happy people and it gives you an advantage.
So a kinda good example of this is canned or fake laughter in comedy shows, the audience tends to hate it and to be honest I don't think i know anyone who even likes it. But comedy shows put it in anyway, why? because it makes jokes funnier especially bad jokes, and if people think a show is funny they watch it more. I would give you evidence for this but i can't find it right now sorry. But it was brought to my attention via this book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/cka/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-B-PhD-Cialdini/006124189X
(the audiobook is quite good too)
Often people find it easy to fake happy smiles, but the eyes require much more work and happy eyes are the key, in my opinion, to having a happy looking face. I try to think of something that makes me happy (my first kiss, maybe a good thing that's happened recently etc.) and that tends to take care of my eyes.
As in more defined vs more chubby but happy it depends, in a social situation more happy is better and in a situation where they can see by your body that you aren't fat then happy is better too. Only face close ups are when I'd think about maybe avoiding the round faced "issue". It's something you'll have to check in the mirror to see for yourself.
This is a little hard for me to explain and I have little proof, but here it is:
There are certain memes that will destroy their faith. Critical thinking, strong logic, or the idea our reality is the only one. They must cling to style over substance, soundbytes over reason, and authority over their own understanding. Learning to argue with us will make them us.
Also, they see everything from their point of view so we must think like them as well. They can't conceive of anything else. So they think if we thoroughly understood their position then we would become them.
EDIT: You can learn more about this phenomenon and other topics at your local library. (You know: The socialist place that's about to get shut down in Republican states. So get there fast.) I recommend: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and the free book The Authoritarians.
This is a HUGE subject. Thousands of books have been written on it. Classes are given on it. Clubs exist to sharpen this skill. So, there are a lot of ways you can work on this.
Look into books/classes on Salesmanship. Sales is all about convincing people with your words (compare to marketing, which is more about using commercials, product placement, packaging, etc etc to convince people). Zig Ziglar is a famous salesman who has written a lot of books (I haven't read any though).
A great book I have read is Influence: The Psychology of Pursasion. Also look into more manipulative books on the subject like Machiavelli's "The Prince", and Robert Greene's "48 Laws of Power".
One big key with sales / persuasion, is you need to tailor your pitch to the person you are talking to. Even when addressing a large audience you still need to do this.
> The point is, I shouldn't have to dress masculine to be taken seriously in my job.
But that's just human psychology. We're like that. There's even research on the subject. See Influence Psychology, Chapter 5. Paraphrasing the conclusion, if you want people to like you, dress like them.
Obvious example, if you want to raise funding from investors, don't dress like a hippy.
These are some great books I've read recently:
Influence: Psychology of Persuasion. How salespeople use psychology tricks on you.
Power of now. The present moment is the only thing that exists. Very deep book and not too hard to get through.
Psycho-cybernetics. A book about psychology, more about improving your self-image and confidence.
Think and grow rich. A good book that will motivate you to work harder.
Way of the superior man. Great book on relationships with women and what it means to be a man.
Mediations by Marcus Aurelius, nearly 2000 year old book! Great wisdom in here but I'd read some of these other books first. Make sure you get this version (Gregory hays translation) if you do buy the book, as apparently it has the best translation.
A book that was given to me, and read by some of the smartest people around, that isn't too difficult to find, but you'll miss out on the science of persuasion if you don't read it, is Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by the renowned Professor Emeritus of Psychology, Robert Cialdini. This book, written when big hair and leg warmers were in, Influence contains the timeless secrets of getting people to say yes with just a few simple methods. You too can learn to defend yourself from the Influence of others and at the same time, get others to say yes. You won't want to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to learn something new and wonderful.
Don't think you're immune.
On a personal note, right now I'm going through three year's of tax files. Plenty of problems here, mate. Thousands and thousands of them.
Ninja Edit - have a read of this book: Influence by Dr Robert Cialdini. - It's quite revealing, easy and fun reading and fairly cheap.
I liked the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion:
I recommend reading Robert Cialdini's Influence
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion is a must read.
My Top 3 Favourite Psych Books:
Mitnick's books are indeed mostly anecdotal, but The Art of Deception spends quite some time to explain WHY the attack worked and how it could have been mitigated. If you are to read one of Mitnick's books, this is definitely the one closer to what you want to do
As /u/demonbrew suggested, Cialdini's Influence is an iconic book on how you can use psychology to manipulate others. There are other schools, and you can read more about it in this thesis (as you can see Social Engineering was really popular at my university). My focus was Cialdini's work, my colleagues focused on comparing different psychological frameworks used in Social Engineering.
Carnegie's book is indeed focused in socializing, but the TL;DR of the book is: "How do i make people like me?". If you combine this, with one of the Cialdini principles - "Liking" - you can see how it can help you improve your Social Engineering skills
Learn how your brain and body effect your behavior subconsciously.
The first step in learning any practical skill is to familiarize yourself with your tools, if you want to be a woodworker, you need to understand how a saw, hammer and nails work, if you want to be a programmer, you need to understand how to type and how to use your IDE and compiler.
It's surprising to me that so few people take the time to examine how their automatic responses dictate their behavior, when it really is such a fundamental building block for any sort of mental/emotional development.
Here's a few books to get you started (you'll probably be able to find all of these at your local library as well):
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion
Also, an oddly insightful series of fiction books, The War against the Chtorr series by David Gerrold expands upon the idea of treating your brain like a machine that you're been programming without knowing it since birth and how to become consiously aware of your 'programming' so that you can better direct your actions. The thought exercises he invents in the stories presents some intriguing ideas.
The point of all these books would be to help you build a base of understanding of the tools that we are ALL working with, and from there you can much more easily, and consciously work toward becoming the kind of person you want to be, whatever specific form that takes is up to you.
I think it's important to approach personal development like this, in the same way that it is important to understand how addition and subtraction work before you try to understand how calculus works :)
This reminds me of a story out of the book Influence. A lady to quit smoking sent a letter to each of her friends (over 20 as I recall) saying she was going to quit smoking. The social obligation to live up to ones word was enough to get her to quit.
I spoke to another co-worker, and he recommended these books (and I think they will definitely be a good starting point).
In order to make and keep friends we must be friendly. We must be interested, not interesting.
People in general love to be listened to. They want to tell their story. They want to share their accomplishments and interests.
You may want to do all that stuff also, and that's great. But consider the type of people that easily get along with everyone: the listener. The listener is interested in what other people have going on in their lives. They ask questions about their friends. They show genuine interest in other people's lives, accomplishments, and interests.
It can be taxing to always be interested instead of interesting, but luckily there's the social law of reciprocity. When we give to others, they will feel socially compelled to give back. If we are genuinely interested in other people and carefully listen to what they have to say, and let them know we are interested in what they have to say, then anyone worth being a friend with will reciprocate and be interested back in you. A way of expressing this via idiom is to "Dig the well before you are thirsty."
To learn more about the law of reciprocity and other tools that will help you understand social dynamics and how they affect our relationships and our work I recommend reading the book Influence.
There are a lot of pop psychology books that cover at least the social psychological parts of what I learned:
The Person and Situation by Lee Ross and Richard Nisbett
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
What Makes Love Last by John Gottman
Nudge by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein
(Caveat: I've only read Thinking, Fast and Slow and Nudge, but the others are from well-respected authors/leaders in their fields.)
I agree about the book - http://www.amazon.com/The-Hard-Thing-About-Things/dp/0062273205 - best one I've read about startups.
This one is good as well to improve sales: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/006124189X?pc_redir=1408025460&amp;robot_redir=1
For fun stuff check out http://www.startupvitamins.com - you can get posters, mugs, etc., their "Get Shit Done" mug is the most popular item.
You should try reading, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. It explains how your hubby was tricked.
Hint: borrow it for free from your local library. They may even have an eBook version. After all, you paid the taxes for it.
We don't need to be so general. Just ask the believer a simple situation. If I put a gun to your head and said I'll shoot you unless you sincerely believe in Athena, can you do it? Do you have that volitional control over your beliefs? Neither do I.
What they generally mean is something more along the lines of "fake it till you make it." Act like the belief is true, give open assent to it being true, adhere to the rituals and practices and ceremonies, agree agree agree, and eventually your mind will come around and start to believe.
I suggest reading books like Cialdini's Influence on why that works, and how advertisers, propagandists, and yes, religious leaders exploit this to manipulate us. They encourage you to just "try it on for size," knowing that, due to our aversion to cognitive dissonance, our mind will start conforming to fit our outward actions so we can rationalize that we haven't been lying or wasting our time. It does work, but it doesn't make the belief actually true. It's just a textbook means of manipulation and control.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, revised edition.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Dr. Robert Cialdini
If you want to pay $4,500, do not offer him $4,500.
Offer him $3,700
Of course he is not going to accept that. So when he says that he can't go that low, here is what you do:
Say nothing. Literally nothing. Press your top lip to your bottom lip and do not say anything.
He will start talking. Let him go. He will make you a counter offer, but stay silent as long as possible.
When he finally gives you a number, look disappointed and back away from the vehicle. Tell him that you have to think about it. And walk away - physically leave the premises.
Walking away from the table is a very powerful negotiating tactic. (I am assuming that he already has your phone number - if he doesn't, make sure you give it to him before you begin negotiations).
For more on how to build skills on influencing and persuading people, check out Influence and Pre-Suasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini.
OK, you've suddenly made me want to write a lot. I think I'll split my response into multiple comments, addressing different things.
>But the desire will never be satisfied, so long as conservatives cannot form logical arguments to support their beliefs, or form logical rebuttals of my arguments.
I think this is your biggest mistake. Over the last 2 years I've been diving into why people believe what they do, and why they are convinced by some people and not by others. Logic is almost always the weakest way to convince anyone - regardless of their leanings.
I strongly recommend the books The Righteous Mind and Influence which dive into some of the reasons why. I've also been reading up on negotiation skills, and while logic/reason is part of the toolset, it is merely one of a number of tools.
People will naturally listen to their ingroup, and be wary of their outgroup. The arguments you use do not work because you are in their outgroup. Were someone whom they felt were very similar in beliefs to give those same arguments, they're much more likely to listen. So you are already at a disadvantage.
Most people will listen to logical arguments, once they believe you are trying to explore mutually, and not merely trying to change their opinion. All change comes from within, and they want to believe you are equally willing to change your mind and understand their perspective. In reality, perhaps you are, but there's a whole lot of effort that needs to be performed to signal that. Just saying "Let's talk" is way insufficient.
A phrase often used "You should be able to state their world view back to them as they themselves would state it." Once you get there, they are much more likely to listen.
There are many other tactics to get someone to the point where they will listen to logic. But you have to do the legwork.
BTW, almost all negotiations/communications book point out: If you give up often and justify it with "They're irrational" or "They just won't listen to reason", then you are just looking for an exit and an excuse. You do not understand/know how to reach them, and so you are sleeping better at night by labeling the other person. To convince anyone, you have to do some leg work, and you're trying to shortcut that by saying "Logic should be sufficient". It isn't. Not for conservatives and not for liberals. Trust me - I've lived with both, and been treated as an outsider by both at various times. They are equally prone to not listening to logic. This is a human condition, not a conservative condition.
Now a lot of liberals do view scientists as part of their ingroup. And so they are much more likely to accept (usually uncritically) what the scientific community says. This is not because liberals are more likely to listen to logic. It is because they are more likely to listen to scientists.
>As long as conservatives continue to believe these things, without logical explanations, and are unable/refuse to rationally rebut my counter arguments, there is no reason for me to waste my valuable time and energy on them.
The truth is: They are likely saying the same about you.
I'll respond to the more specifics of your comment later.
Very relevant, and very good, book by Cialdini:
I would give this a read:
Haha, that is a very interesting question, one that was I think a bit explained below, but you seem to be open minded, which is great! but just like you believe it is bullshit (which it is), your mind is just as open minded about it being real. I quote /u/Ish_the_Stomach
> Helping the subject stay relaxed and open minded to the possibility that the cards have something to say to them.
That said if you're interested, pm and I can send you two books that I've read on these types of subjects called:
Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely
[Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion] (https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X) by Robert Cialdini
They are good ebooks and to anwer your question. Humans are wired that way.
We are train to do that, like animals to read Great book http://www.amazon.fr/influence-Psychology-Robert-PhD-Cialdini/dp/006124189X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1406912661&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=influence+the+psychology+of+persuasion
The breakthroughs in psychology aren't found in university research. All about the pharma labs, ad agencies, and sales/marketing departments with the sizable budgets and huge sample sizes.
Edit: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion explores how far ahead business is in psych research. Companies like Google, Facebook, ComScore, etc. also have mountains of data that academic researchers can only dream of. Part of the fun being on the business side. Also the reason that statisticians, data scientists, etc. are hired.
At first glance, I think you need to make your story more of a priority. People don't buy things just because you put products in front of them. They want to feel connected in some way.
Check out THIS BOOK for more info on selling. It's been the best book I have ever read as far as business goes.
I think it's just a matter of building out your brand at this point. Keep on rockin!
For those who haven't heard of Cialdini.
I have some more books that I personally like:
What everybody is saying: https://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1467738244&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=body+language
Body Language: https://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language/dp/0553804723/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1467738244&amp;sr=8-4&amp;keywords=body+language
My psychology professor absolutely raves about Influence by Robert Cialdini.
I read it, and it's really good. The author is a psychology researcher who actually got part-time sales jobs to test out his theories, and found out what works and what doesn't. My professor used some of his techniques, and was actually able to use them against the sales people to get a few thousand dollars knocked off the price of the car.
I'd start with Cialdini and a list of logical fallacies.
they're referring to the book by Robert Cialdini
Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.
It's actually far, far more complicated than that - and your assumption seems to be that I was referring to visual queues. I am actually talking about verbal queues.
Again, you are more than welcome to your opinion. But as somewhat of an eternal student of my discipline, I am aware of the psychology relating to my industry and how it is frequently and heavily abused. It might be a comforting thought to assume that there is only perhaps "a set group of people" that you suppost just "weren't raised to realize" their actual level of need, is completely inaccurate.
You've also assumed that my particular take and "my target audience" are these people. You've actually completely underestimated the entire practice. YOU are our target audience. YOU the supposedly discerning consumer, who couldn't possible buy a product you don't need or believe in something ultimately wrong for you. Why buy HTC? Why mention the brand? You've just told me that you have had one for a long time that is perfectly functional - you just recommended me a product and you didn't even realise it. Your character profile and your convictions make that recommendations all the more powerful. Don't you think people like me know that...? There's not enough people with enough funds of those your assume are my targets - so where do you think my industry goes next....?
Now, I grant you that I have discussed consumer focused advertising but I actually don't work in consumer focused advertising. I work in public focused advertising. My particular line of work is one of behavioral change. For everyone - and that means you. Just because I'm not trying to sell you a product, doesn't mean that I haven't dirtied my soul manipulating the supposedly 'discerning' public, of things they don't really want, need, believe or understand. In most cases, it's the final point. I don't say that as coldly as it sounds - people get tired and mental fatigue is the number one cause of silly beliefs and purchases. We take on too much in the modern world, and hence can't effectively cognitively process to make better decisions in our current lifestyles.
So, again, to assume advertising is just about trying to make you buy the latest product, is a vast underestimation of the industry. It is also an opinion that is created irrespective of the facts or figures and years of research both in academic circles and industry - from the corporations like Coke-a-Cola who specifically created Coke Zero because Diet Coke was a female orientated product and this was hailed as the 'male equivalent' because market research indicated that a low fat version of the product needed to be more manly to sell, to offices like mine - where we frequently commission market research to see the public awareness of issues we are promoting and targeting demographic and much much more to enlist behaviourial changes, as so desired by those above us.
Why do you trust such things in the hands of those who can and will profit from you despite what you really want?
If you want to learn more about a topic, read up on it (I recommend this as a starter for 10). Don't assume you're above it, or impervious to it, because at the end of the day? That's what we want you to think.
Everything you learned in your course is inside this book.
It's a pretty awesome book... it's mired in social psychology and actual research, which is an upgrade compared to the anecdotal approach of a lot of social psychology books.
One may also look for RASCLS, as laid down in An Alternative Framework for Agent Recruitment: From MICE to RASCLS (.pdf, 12 pages) by Randy Burkett in Studies in Intelligence 57:1, March 2013. RASCLS builds on work by psychologist Robert Cialdini, notably his famous book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion that was originally published in 1984 and remain a common read in social engineering.
According to Burkett:
>Case officers who rely exclusively on the MICE framework risk failing to see the full complexities involved in an agent’s decision to spy and will miss opportunities to persuade and motivate agents to improve their performance. Instead, they will focus on taking advantage of vulnerabilities to exercise control. Over time, the negative focus could lead case officers to view and treat their agents as fundamentally flawed human beings who need to be punished or coerced into compliance.
>The work of psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini offers more positive approaches. His six “weapons of mass influence” — reciprocation, authority, scarcity, commitment/consistency, liking, and social proof—provide a better foundation for agent recruitment and handling.
Like MICE, RASCLS can be considered both from attack & defense perspective, for instance recruitment of agents & screening/monitoring (prospective) personnel for potential vulnerability to, inter alia, such recruitment. Do note that MICE & RASCLS offer a what, not a how; and that protection from insider threats also depends on information security, cultivation of a security culture, and so on.
For other (non-paywalled) reading on insider threats, see the downloads at https://www.signpostsix.com/downloads/, categorized as follows:
> How could she refuse these guys after they threw this grand party in her honor?
I'm reading Influence by Rober Cialdini and reciprocation is a powerful motivator of behavior. It's the reason hare krishna give out flowers before asking for donations. And, the effect is more potent when it engages our emotional system (ahem like being honored in some way for our character or creativity). And, people chronically lie to themselves about how much they are influenced by the need to reciprocate.
Yea no worries. You may have already read some of his work, but Robert Cialdini's book Influence discusses this, and other social psychology principles in depth. It's a fascinating book and is an enjoyable read.
[PERSUASION / SALES / MARKETING] The Power Of Bold Episode 41: Lessons From Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
iTunes | Google Play | Spotify | Stitcher
We are all looking to become more persuasive and influential in our lives. But did you know that there’s a way that we can leverage human nature to accomplish these goals? In episode 41 of The Power of Bold, Adam takes a break from guest interviews and shares his favorite insights from Robert Cialdini’s classic book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Cialdini’s book has sold millions of copies and is already being called a modern classic. Anyone can apply Cialdini’s lessons in their day-to-day lives, regardless of their age, career experience, or career objectives.
The episode begins with Adam sharing news about a new course he has created (including a special gift for listeners) (01:55 – 03:21). From there, Adam discusses the staying power of Influence (03:22 – 05:38) and why anyone can learn from Cialdini’s masterpiece (05:39 – 06:50). Adam then dives into why humans are so vulnerable to Cialdini’s so-called “weapons of influence” (06:51 – 10:21). The discussion then turns to some of Adam’s favorite weapons of influence. The first one is reciprocity, with Adam explaining its power (10:22 – 15:20) and ways that we can say no when someone is using reciprocity against us (15:21 – 16:57). Adam follows the same approach with two more fascinating weapons of influence: commitment and consistency (16:58 – 24:22) and authority (24:23 – 31:23). The episode concludes with Adam’s thoughts on how we can leverage some of these weapons of influence in our professional careers (31:24 – 33:34).
For show notes and a transcript of the episode, visit www.thepowerofbold.com.
SECTION | CONTENT
Title | People Bought Weird Things With Our Amazon Affiliate Link
Description | Some of you shopped on Amazon having clicked a link from our previous video. Amazon gives us an anonymous summary of what everyone bought. MATT: http://youtube.com/unnamedculprit | TOM: http://youtube.com/TomScottGo MORE AFFILIATE LINKS based on what we talked about here: Influence: Science and Practice - Robert B. Cialdini http://amzn.to/1YlqlHf (There are two versions of this: the slightly cheaper and more popular general edition, "The Power of Persuasion", is the one we've linked to here. ...
Length | 0:12:05
SECTION | CONTENT
Title | People Bought More Weird Things With Our Amazon Affiliate Link
Description | Amazon gives us an anonymous summary of everything that's been bought after clicking one of our affiliate links. Since the last video, some of you have bought some… interesting things! MATT: http://youtube.com/unnamedculprit | TOM: http://youtube.com/TomScottGo The original: People Bought Weird Things With Our Amazon Affiliate Link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JQDc9fNWtw Paul Spamming Tom's Bank Statement: https://twitter.com/tomscott/status/695293444248494080 MORE AFFILIATE LINKS based ...
Length | 0:10:18
SECTION | CONTENT
Title | People Bought Sex Things With Our Amazon Affiliate Link (feat. Hannah Witton)
Description | Since the last video, your purchases became more adult, so we asked Hannah Witton along to help! Pull down the description for links | Hannah's channel: https://youtube.com/hannahwitton | Hannah's book: http://amzn.to/2rn8fNg MATT: http://youtube.com/unnamedculprit | TOM: http://youtube.com/TomScottGo AUTOMOTIVE: Dry Lube: http://amzn.to/2rWzqxb Wet Lube: http://amzn.to/2rWs7p3 Butt Connectors: http://amzn.to/2sXS4mD BEAUTY: David Beckham, Made of Instinct: http://amzn.to/2sXQbGD ManCave Beard...
Length | 0:29:03
^(I am a bot, this is an auto-generated reply | )^Info ^| ^Feedback ^| ^(Reply STOP to opt out permanently)
Here's the book everyone was talking about.
It definitely has a lot more tips and tricks. Also the book is heavily based on scientific articles so I highly suggest it as well.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
It is actually very easy to cause the average person to follow you. You can learn it from a book. Also, some people have a values system that legitimately ranks safety over liberty. I see no easy way to deal with that.
The only proposals for transitioning to a basic income/post-scarcity state that I have found ask that during the transition, people will still need to have incentives to work. Not all people have a "goodness of their hearts" out of which they will work for society and receive no rewards. Many people will work for largely, or only, social rewards (i.e. being respected for keeping the community running) - but structuring a community sociologically so that it rewards people who work with increased status is going to be very difficult (possibly nearly impossible). Several orders of magnitude easier is to provide physical rewards and luxuries for working for society, and let the social rewards grow from things like having the newest cars, being located in better areas, etc. as it does now. In such an arrangement, corruption will happen. This is not a question. This is a prediction that is very strong, given what I know about human nature.
I do not know if it is possible to Good Societal Memeplex one's way to a legit non-coercive anarcho-communist society. I think that it is a really cool end goal, but I don't know if we can make literally everyone adhere to it without exercising coercion at the educational level, by instilling very strong collective values in children, which incidentally prevents parents from raising their children in all the ways they currently do. Which is an imposition on the parents' freedom. Closely related question: is government propaganda to make people adhere to the standards of society coercive? How about peer pressure?
Is banding together to "rehabilitate" (or, more realistically, punish) someone who defects on the social contract (i.e. by killing his wife for cheating, which has existed as a crime-of-passion for millions of years and will exist as long as humans retain our current neurology) coercive?
Great writeup, though most of it is taken from this book:
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
State your sources. It will benefit people who want to know more.
Affect isn't logical, nike just have an annoying bench. I suspect this is more of a viral advert rather than a Guerrilla ad. The research I am referring to is that of Robert Cialdini
Try reading Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.
It's a book about what influences and motivates people and how you can use that to your advantage.
I keep a copy of that book within arms reach everywhere I go, and I tell everyone I know to read it.
I have a theory about this that wasn't floated in the article.
Maybe it's the Machiavellian in me, but when I see someone who's being overly generous, especially if I don't know them well, I often wonder if they have an ulterior motive.
There's a great book out there called Influence: The Psychology Of Persuasion. One technique mentioned in the book when trying to make a sale or gain an advantage in a negotiation is to do something nice for the other party before any discussions take place.
This can be as simple as buying a drink, or as is often the case with politicians and lobbyists, sending someone on a lavish vacation.
When someone does something nice for you, you tend to feel somewhat indebted. It's a strong social norm to repay favors done for you.
Hence, whenever someone I don't know well does something nice for me, my first thought is, "What do they want from me?"
Obviously this isn't my first thought with most friends and family, but if there's an unusual level of ass-kissing going on it usually means someone's about to ask for a favor.
I think most people who've been taken advantage of in such a situation would tend to be suspicious of overly generous strangers, especially when the generosity falls far outside the social norm.
Two things that need to be included.
This is amazing and fascinating! If you enjoyed Habits, you def enjoy this one:
Just a tiny note, I recommend using the color blue for "FOR" in Miracles For Mommy, only because I read it first as "Miracles Mommy" because the green letters blended in with the circle vine.
Maybe one day we'll see you on Shark Tank? That would be really cool.
Sorry for the delay in answering, been busy.
Cold email is tough. There is a huge amount of psychology that goes into getting high open rates from decent people.
There are ways to get 95% open rates on email. With weight-loss as the example, you could get a crazy open rate with a subject line of "Pic's of your husband/boyfriend you need to see" and target women.
You could do the same in reverse when targeting men, but you can be assured you would rarely make a sale.
Some of the most successful open rates I have seen have been from question based subject lines, but unless they've opted in, your success rate will be dismal.
Cold emails should be very specifically targeted and work better in the B2B field compared to any others.
This is a great resource for cold emails (https://salesfolk.com/blog/). They dig deep into why and have a free course. It's worth it, just don't buy anything. Anything you need to know about marketing online is available free on YouTube, social media and blogs, you just have to test and sift the wheat from the chaff.
Now, for weight-loss, you would be better off with a blog, awesome content and guest posting.
I personally hate wasting time and resources, so I tend to build long term assets, like a blog/website or Facebook fan type pages.
I would then build squeeze pages for opt ins so everyone that get's your email has already shown an interest.
SEO is cheap if you DIY, Facebook ads are cheap if you understand a few human "triggers". One of the first things ever marketer needs is "Persuasion, the psychology of influence" (https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X) - (Not an affiliate link).
Copywriting is the biggest part of conversion no matter the traffic method. The more targeted the message, the better the results.
This video will give you some serious insight. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sene4XqYvLE
Now, for most niches, you have to tone the hard pitch down, but the principles still apply and are very effective.
Learn to mix story telling into your copy and you have a beast once you get it fine tuned.
This should be enough to get you pointed in the right direction.
> Robert Cialdini's book Influence
Available on Amazon
If you like to read about the more commonplace brainwashing that we regularly endure I highly recommend Cialdini's Influence.
Dang it, late to the party again :(
On regards to frat houses branding, I've been reading Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and it totally makes sense that people would do that and I totally get why the conversation went from religion to this.
There are at least two major factors to religions: faith & community. The book explains that they usually go hand in hand because the rituals and experiences shared by faith are incredibly powerful at strengthening the community bonds. Frat houses, I imagine, work in similar way, which is why they have such weird seeming rituals that actually makes a lot of sense because it boosts the group-thinking.
Fun fact: Mass shootings/tragedies almost always inspire copy-cats.
The advice for the PMP cert is a really good one. You have to remember that the company is trying to figure out how they can use you to make the $$$. A PMP would help you in a leadership role, and learning about people.
I'd also recommend reading up on a few books like Influence and What Every Body is Saying, to help you understand more about yourself and what people are thinking about you via body language.
no, it isn't a "stupid point" nor is it "asinine". (if your rhetoric was meant to persuade me, may I suggest this)
the OP suggested "but not everyone does, or even can live on a strictly vegetarian diet". to which Bradleywyros offered the example of vegan body builders as a counter-example. logically, i think you'll agree (or do you disagree?), the mere existence of vegan body builders does not refute the point that "not everyone does, or even can live on a strictly vegetarian diet".
It doesn't even refute the narrower argument that "not everyone...can live on a strictly vegetarian diet". To cite an example to prove that "not everyone...can live on a strictly vegetarian diet" someone else in this thread cited Crohn's Disease (relevant because there are people with Crohn's whose intestines are so diseased they actually could not survive on a vegetarian diet). Which would support the argument "not everyone...can live on a strictly vegetarian diet".
I know that a lot of folks in this thread have come down on you for coming across like an opinionated jerk. Frankly, I don't blame them. I can see their side too. That being said, I also understand how hard it is to go to church when you feel different, or picked on, or even more enlightened than everyone else (that's just another way of being different).
Mormons have been raised with the idea that we should influence the behavior of others with scripture and doctrine. We have stories of prophets that call people to repentance, and risk personal injury to ensure that they get the Word out. We're not all supposed to be Samuel. Today we are definitely expected to live in a geographically determined ward and interact congenially with other members. Going down in a blaze of fiery rhetoric defending the truth doesn't help the fact that you still have to show up to church next week. Believe me, I'm sure you and I don't agree on lots of things, but this is one thing we can probably agree on.
Redditors are infatuated with the idea that logic and reason will always win the day. "If you don't agree with my logically sound argument and immediately change your behavior and opinion then you are sub-human." The real world, and real human beings don't work that way. Show me a scripture that directly contradicts my belief and my first reaction is not to change my belief, but to do the mental gymnastics necessary to justify my world-view. If I don't personally like you, I'll entrench myself even further. If I don't trust you, even worse. If I don't see myself as similar to you, still worse. If I don't know you well and think you're overstepping a social barrier, you guessed it. Logic always loses in the short-term.
You're a Mormon and a Redditor (so am I). I'm not making any claim as to how well you fit the stereotypes I've outlined here.
I also am familiar with statements made by general authorities indicating that the study of the gospel can more quickly change behavior than the study of behavior can. I take issue with this idea. I am absolutely sure that in SOME circumstances this is the case. I do not trust this as a blanket statement for every behavior in every situation. I also don't see it as a justification for trying to get someone to change their beliefs or behavior more quickly than they should. (My recommendations for influencing these people won't work after just one Sunday School class.) That is usually catastrophic.
>Nothing really. I'm reasonably polite in church, but I've never really been good at socializing outside of the ward by inviting people to dinner, parties, etc.
Please don't be insulted when I tell you that this was my assumption. Most members are this way. I would also hazard to guess that most members don't have the social influence they wish they had. If you really want to change the behavior and even belief systems of the people in your ward you're not going to do it without some significant social influence. Unfortunately, it's going to take some work, and it's probably not the kind of work you're used to or good at.
You've obviously got a good handle on the scriptures, church doctrine, testimony, and desire. When I read the quote above from your statement I can see exactly where this is going to go wrong. Reasonably polite is not enough. Not being good at socializing on a non-church level is suicide if you want to confront these people. My first piece of advice is to not confront them yet. When something controversial comes up, bow your head and shut up! You first need to build a social bank account with them. Then you can start to make withdrawals!
What if you could confront these people at some future time when they liked you, saw themselves as similar to you, trusted you as an authority, and felt indebted to you? I promise you'll get a different result.
Where do you start? Food. It works. Maybe you don't believe in evolution, so you might have to come up with another way to justify this, but sharing food is the first secret. We're built to do this. We wouldn't have survived what we've been through without other humans sharing food with us. It's hardwired into our psyche. Food brings us together. It allows us to socialize. It makes others indebted to us. It makes others like us, even if we see each other as different, and we start to see each other as more similar when we share food.
Next step? Go read this book. (I promise it won't turn you into a liberal mormon.) Already read it? Great, go read it four more times. Think about every single point he makes and how it applies to the situation you're in. I influence people's behavior for a living and credit this book with getting me my start.
Food and a cool book that you'll love? Sounds pretty easy so far. The hard part is creating the social bank account. You've got to go out and do the stuff, and you've got to do it with lots of people, and you've got to be patient while you build the deposits in the account. This bank doesn't offer a line of credit. You don't have the money, you don't get to spend it.
>This thread is expressing my anxiety over the almost assured prospect that such confrontations will occur.
You're right. It will happen. Your anxiety will also make it worse. Work on the anxiety and you'll have more patience to avoid an explosive encounter.
If all you want is to feel morally justified that you're right and the other members are wrong, and you're willing to take a stand for what's right and absorb their fiery darts, by all means, confront them this weekend. If, instead, what you really want is to change their behavior and belief system, then you'll have to take the long route. You're opinions are too far apart right now and you don't have enough social influence yet to bridge the gap. It won't work, whether you're version of "the truth" is right or theirs is, it just won't work.
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I'm good at this, and think that I can be of help. Don't want to push more advice than is wanted.
>I was thinking about hiring a bodyguard to come to church with me. I think he'll help me intimidate the cowards if he's big enough.
I'd like to apply for the job.
Influence by Cialdini is a must read for just about anyone, in any occupation.
As a business owner, Predictably Irrational is a must read. As is Why We Buy. The Way of the Weasel is also a good one.
This always gets down voted because people gave trouble believing it, but here we go again...
About half of all commercial airline crashes were probably pilot suicides.
Sure. The fact that you don't see them says you are suffering from cognitive dissonance. Now, that's in no way a jab at you. All of us suffer from it. The fact is, half the country's population is trying to cope with such a TREMENDOUS loss on Clinton's part after cognitive scientists helped hypnotize her supporters into thinking the only future is her and Trump is a Nazi. Your brain, as well as others, are coping with that.
By the way, it happened to Conservatives in 2008 as well. But this time, weapons grade persuasion and gaslighting was used.
To answer your question. Yes. I am very happy with my president and I will be voting for him again. He seems to really care and is doing so much good for this country. I am glad I live in this reality.
Just so you know I wasn't attacking you in anyway, to understand my comment a little better and if you're interested (or anyone else) read this book. "Influence" by Dr. Robert Cialdini. It'll also help you understand Trump a little more and that he's not just a clown that pulls shit out of his ass. He's a complex thinker.
Hmmm, sounds like
The Psychology of Persuasion?
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Might also check out his new book, Pre-suasion
Jordan Belfort's straight line persuasion is on point if you can get your hands on it. If not read up on persuasion. Persuasion is viewed in a negative light but it really can be a GOOD thing. By you persuading a business to buy a website from you, you are essentially helping them STAY in business :) Just don't use the techniques to sell things to people that don't need things or genuinely can't afford them. This will be an objection you receive a lot of times (i've heard it many times) but it is your job as a salesman to paint the picture for them. Create a vision by explaining how they can't afford not to update their website if they want to survive in our competitive market. http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1420640816&amp;sr=8-5&amp;keywords=persuasion this is a great book i'm starting to dig into and it's cheap!
Theres a book
Theres a talk on the topic
A selection of books that I believe did not make me feel smarter, they made me smarter.
Freakonomics 1 & 2. Its a fun read and opened up my eyes to how entertaining and revealing the use of statistics and economics can be.
Did you spot the gorilla
Drive - Daniel H pink
The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Irrationality - Stuart sutherland
The Art of Choosing - Sheena Iyengar
Pursuasive Writing: Great book on how to pursuade people and how we are pursuaded.
It's very similar to the "social proof" that Cialdini explained in his the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
A must read for all my sales staff. Highly recommend.
I got some value out of Captivate by Vanessa Edwards, What Every BODY is Saying, and Influence by Robert Cialdini.
Maybe. Lots of evidence to suggest otherwise.
Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion , was a NYTimes best seller for a while. Short but great read from the view of a psychologist who put himself in short term training/learning environments to assess the tactics taught to him by different groups (car sales, churches, telemarketing, fund-raising, etc.). He then maps out the fundamentals of persuasion in a very simplified/approachable manner.
I gift this book to people more than any other!
The gist is that you can’t just present facts, you have to manipulate a bit, which is why most people don’t bother unless you really benefit (politicians, clergy, salesmen). This is a decent read:
The reciprocity rule is a sales and confidence (as in con man) technique. It works on the appearance of a concession. The value of the conceded point is irrelevant as long as it is within the realm of reasonability. It works best if you can get the other party to ask for something than give that thing without appearing to ask for something in return. Here is a book that explains this and other persuasion techniques very well. The author was on a team of behavioral psychologists who advised President Obama. I'd recommend reading the entire thing and thinking back on Trumps rise to power.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition by Robert Cialdini
I think the trick is to read the book and allow the book to inspire you to create ideas for yourself. For example, I read "The E-Myth" which is somewhat crap if taken too seriously. But, it gets the ball rolling in my head and then I think of good ideas for making my own business better. I've also gain inspiration from "Influence, the science of persuasion."
As with any self help book, the value is in the inspiration. You have to come up with the idea then execute it. Ideas are easy, putting them into action is a pain.
There is a fantastic book out there called Influence which has one chapter dedicated to studying why people believe in cults. The author's conclusion is that the believers face so much pain and humiliation by submitting to the truth, regardless of how obvious, that they choose to double-down on their delusions
The whole book is an educational read. Highly recommended.
Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely because it shows how fucked up your brain works.
Influence by Robert B. Cialdini because it shows you how our fixed action patterns are abused daily.
Psychology! I definitely missed that. And I just read this book on persuasion, which was fascinating: https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X
Where can you get into all of them? And do you have an opinion on this book?
Again, they're trained to act like that. It's basic psychology. Concession breeds concession.
Here. Grab yourself a copy: http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Business-Essentials/dp/006124189X
Maybe it´s this one? https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X
I would suggest Influence and Pre-Suasion by Robert Cialdini. They both do an excellent job explaining how people make decisions in the heat of the moment. He includes lots of stories and examples so they are both a very interesting read.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition
This book is an academic look at modern psychologically developed marketing practices and how they convince, manipulate, and influence consumers.
All the marketing techniques herein could and are used to control and manipulate people. The book even mentions that it could serve as a guide to intentionally hone unethical and manipulative influence over others.
Read Robert Cialdini's book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
>You shouldn't have to disclaim yourself of anything.
I don't feel like I have to =] It's just slightly less tedious this way.
>No books? I was thinking of the applied psychology aspect of it
You could start with the work of Elizabeth Loftus, who has done extensive research into implanting false memories, etc.
EDIT: Forgot an obvious book recommendation! Excellent overview of a lot of applied psychology as it applies to marketing.
It sounds like you have 2 problems:
It's interesting. Apologizing costs nothing in most cases and can elicit compliance in even the most hostile situations. You just can't stay mad at someone who's offered an apology. We are interesting creatures :)
The Secrets of Consulting by Gerald M. Weinberg
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini
>So according to you there is no difference between men playing around with their friends, and corporations exploiting men by depicting them as idiots at our expense to sell products to women.
Oh look, a straw man.
I said, to the observer. And it's true. If you can manipulate the observer's opinion, you create the opinion. This is psych 201 and sales 101.
And let's look for a moment at your distinction without difference, shall we. Assuming the man cares what his audience thinks, then he is in fact exploiting men (himself) by depicting himself as an idiot at his expense to sell humor to other men in return for friendship.
>Anyhow, the woman is making the statement that she can dress how she wants, and its not inviting sexual assault, and reclaiming the word slut, she isn't a company commodifying, commercializing and selling products with her sexuality.
Women dress in sexual attire to attract a mate. They know this. They do so at the risk of inviting unwanted sexual attraction. Women know that women call each other sluts, as a sexual strategy/competitive strategy.
Further, anyone with half an understanding of politics, ideology, and economics (and honestly, reality) understands that there is always a commodity, always a product. Entertainment isn't a product - fun is an emotional state. But entertainers sell it. It's disingenuous and intellectually dishonest to suggest that simply because she's not producing a physical thing, nor actually produced the idea, that she's not selling it.
In this case she's selling Feminism.
>There isn't actually anything wrong with us having a grasp of the things we are taking about, beyond that of the casual observer.
If only you had that grasp. If you'd like it, start here
The only thing that works is banding together with like-minded people whom you can trust and discussing concrete ways for change. You can accrue power by starting with smaller changes in your community and working your way up until you have enough influence to make larger changes. This will not be a speedy process, but it is the most proven effective.
As for books, I recommend Influence by Robert Cialdini. He talks about how you can become more influential through psychology. It involves a lot of serving others and making yourself useful to other people.
Check out the chapter on Authority, and the bibliography - should get you on the right track.
Being the coolest-badass ugly male? If pussy is your concern about your "succesful" future, a sexy personality in a ugly guy has an special surprise factor that the pussy likes.
Just be funny and badass or pretend to be. Most of the brilliant animals in the animal kingdom are those who lure and manipulate others.
Do yourself a favor and read this book
Yeah, you may have pussy harder to get, but the challenge is what makes you smarter than the other guys.
-Dr. Fake Dick Johnson.
You read the first chapter of this, you'll have an idea of differentiation based on price.
But in the end I agree with /u/Asks-Qs
There are two tracks to this. The Good track and the Evil track.
Good Track: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Basically you do this by taking a genuine interest in other people.
Evil Track: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. This book's all about the various ways you can influence someone's behavior in subtle ways. Things like reciprocity pressure and internal consistency forces. It's kinda screwed up, but the stuff in the book works.
There are many books in either track. You have to decide which you'll use, but ideally you should understand both.
This is a good book to read regarding persuasive tactics that may otherwise slip under your radar: https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X
Yeah, no problem. It's going to be hard to get a clear cut answer for something like this since no one really knows what your goals are professionally. We're all juggling the idea of design as a "product" and "service", while dealing with whether a situation calls for an hourly rate or flat rate. When you throw in what value your work brings to your client, then things get even more complicated.
Here are some other good reads/listens that I think supplement:
Jordan B Peterson put it nicely. The thing that universities traditionally taught are terrifying and that by learning these terrifying truths about the world and humanity, students are more prepared to face them in the real world.
He gave a bunch of examples, like biology, where you cut up dead animals and study the internals, or psychology, where you learn about the darkest aspects of the human psyche. Same goes for History, Philosophy, Physics, and I assume mathematics can be intense.
Basically, a university is not supposed to be for the squeamish or the squeamish are not supposed to be protected but toughened.
I was just reading Influence by Robert Cialdini and there was a cool example on how some phobias were removed from children. There was an experiment where a child that was afraid of dogs, was put in a position to watch other children play with dogs and after four days, thanks to the example of his peers, he was able to approach the dog and play with it too.
This is the sort of thing that the universities should do. instead of allowing students to avoid what they fear (in this case, views they disagree with), they should show how interaction with people you disagree with does no harm and that it is actually a great way to learn. After 4 years (adults are slower learners than children), the things they feared, should have become approachable.
Am I angry? Again projecting. If you look at the top minds in field of persuasion, its not logic or facts that move people: https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert-Cialdini/dp/006124189X
If anybody is interested in heavily science-based psychology of manipulation and compliance techniques, check out Influence: the Art of Persuasion. It's almost entirely case studies, and has some really fascinating information! I highly recommend it!
This is directly taken from another comment of mine in this thread.
"These 'gender norms' have evolved as a stereotype for a reason. They weren't just created out of thin air. Yes they are self-propagating now which is apparent by walking into any toy store but you know what? In general girls like pink things and boys like blue things. It only becomes a problem when the boy wants a pink thing and you tell him "no! that's for girls" or the girl wants a blue thing and you tell her "no! that's for boys"."
Girls toys are pink because in general girls like pink. As I said it has become self-propagating now because of years of market reasearch and basically manipulating children into what to buy but this is based on something. People didn't just wake up one day and say "Let's sell girls pink shit and make them want it". They recognized girls gravitating towards certain colors/types of toys and responded accordingly.
While it has gotten pretty out of hand and like you said 'fucked up'. And I never once in this discussion stated that there was nothing fucked up about all of this. I legitimately think that in general terms gender norms have grown out of something and not out of thin air. Girls will gravitate towards dolls and boys will gravitate towards trucks without any previous manipulation. There are tons of studies on this. There's an amazing article written by a hardcore feminist about how she thought all this gender norm stuff was harmful and bullshit until she had a little girl and this little girl ended up loving the girliest pinkest crap out there. Couldn't find it for you, at work and man I must have read it like 3 years ago at least but it gets my point across.
We are projecting our own biases and insecurities onto these children. It is just as wrong to tell kids 'you don't have to touch that pink toy because you're a girl, you can play with these'. You're nudging her towards something else by indicated her interest in the barbie is somehow wrong. Just throw a pile of toys in front of her and let her go to town or ask her straight up what she would rather without imposing yourself on her.
These kinds of gender norms only become a problem when you take an active role in preventing your child from doing something that has nothing negative associated with it. An example of this would be my aunt who refused to let her little boy of 3-4 play with dolls because little boys "don't play with dolls". If you go to walmart and your little girl walks into the barbie section and is in awe and wants everything that's fine. If she gravitates towards the Marvel toy section and would rather buy Captain America that's fine too. Just like it's perfectly okay for a little boy to want a barbie.
I mean the same can be said about adult retail spaces. Walk into any electronics store and look at the layout and tell me there's nothing fucked up about that? An unbelievable amount of psychological and economic research goes into laying something out in a store to maximize sales and profits and none of them have to do with propagating some sort of hidden gender norm agenda. Walmart could give two fucks about making sure girls like pink things, they just want to sell as many barbies as possible.
The underlying problem here has nothing to do with boys toys versus girls toys but how retail as a whole manipulates people. I think that a lot of adults talk about how bad retail is at propagating child stereotypes because children are 'susceptible' to this because the adults somehow view themselves as immune to these market factors. If anything we are far more susceptible. Pick up a book called "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion" and give it a read. That thing had me scared to leave my house for weeks. There is a ton of material on this topic you can find, I don't know where this book stands in comparison to others but I found it to be a well written and well researched entry level book into the field by someone fairly well regarded in that community.
Here are Amazon links for the ones interested as well:
Book Yourself Solid Illustrated by Michael Port
48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
You Can’t Teach A Kid To Ride A Bike At A Seminar by David Sandler
How To Get Rich Felix Dennis
Life’s A Pitch by Philip Delves Broughton
Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
80/20 Sales and Marketing by Perry Marshall
Unstoppable Referrals by Steve Gordon
22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Ries and Trout
Links to scientific journals are provided in the description. If you want to learn more I suggest the book Persuasion