Reddit Reddit reviews Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection

We found 13 Reddit comments about Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection
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13 Reddit comments about Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection:

u/travisdy · 49 pointsr/explainlikeimfive

^ This is the only answer so far I would support, as /u/larouqine pointed out it is not an anecdote.

For a thorough explanation of this comment I would recommend the book Loneliness by John Cacioppo. If you don't want to pick up the book but have access to scientific sources online, he also contributes to the primary research literature so you can search for him there.

u/Amp4All · 8 pointsr/AcademicPsychology

There are a few titles I really love. I hope you like a few things on the list, if you have any questions let me know.

u/WideFoot · 7 pointsr/relationships

So, I was in your boat, except I was a virgin. I also have social anxiety. I was really shy and awkward. I wasn't very muscular (was actually kinda fat). I had no idea what to do with other guys (still don't really, but that's less important). And, most importantly, I was profoundly lonely. My life had been a lonely life too. I still get lonely. It's difficult, but not impossible to turn around.

First order of business is to do something about that shyness. Find something that works for you. For me, it was research into what shyness is, how it operates, and what psychologists say you should do about it. Shyness/social anxiety holds you back. It keeps you from doing the things you need to get done by making you afraid of the judgement you may receive from doing them. Your situation is by no means hopeless, but it will be uncomfortable to change. Almost every psychologist suggests a gradual exposure program.

Here are some resources:

  • Shyness: What It Is, What To Do About It by Phillip Zimbardo, PhD

  • Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University

  • Shyness: A Bold New Approach by Bernardo J. Carducci, PhD

    As part of your quest to get rid of your shyness, you will be combating your loneliness as well. Loneliness isn't about not having a SO. It is about feeling disconnected and lacking companionship. That companionship could come from friends, family or community, but we here in The West have conflated that with romance. Look to quell your loneliness in other ways too. What makes things more frustrating is that, you're right, it is taboo to admit to being lonely, especially for men. It's stupid because admitting loneliness and seeking friendship and companionship is the healthy thing to do, but we've made that wrong. Stupid society.

    But, while getting rid of shyness, you'll start making connections with people. That will help a lot. I found it to be kind of addicting, actually.

    Some more resources:

  • Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by Dr. John T. Cacioppo

  • Three good videos in which Dr. Cacioppo explains his points. Video 1, video 2, video 3.

    Lastly, comes the relationship. After you've gained some confidence and comfort around people and made some friends, it will be easier to find a GF just because you'll be out doing more things. Make use of the school clubs, meetup.com, and other things. Be open to the experience and don't let your shyness flare up if you think there's an opportunity for a deeper relationship, but don't go in blindfolded either.

    More Resources!

  • Just about anything here at the Gottman Institute will help in understanding what makes good, strong relationships. (his books are good too)

  • Don't be discouraged, but you also lack practice being in a relationship. You may have picked up bad ideas of what relationships look like or have some habits and preconceptions that are unhelpful. I suggest The Men on My Couch by Dr. Brandy Engler, but that may be one to read after you've had a relationship and have had that relationship end (which will probably happen to you at some point as it does to us all).

    Hope this helps.
u/thepastafist · 7 pointsr/Stoicism

It's struck me in my readings how companionship seems to be almost the most preferred of the indifferents to the Stoics. You see mention of hard beds and plain food, but is there any point at which we're told to ignore our friends for a month?

Stoicism would cope with enforced isolation the same way it copes with everything else - paying close attention to how it makes you feel and making considered responses to that. I'd imagine Stockdale wrote on this at some point.

But for your own sake, don't go gently into that night. Loneliness is not something you should learn to cope with, it's something you put an end to.

I recommend this on the science of it all
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283

u/superluser · 6 pointsr/AskMen

> Can you ask for directions in the street without blushing?

Yes!

> Can you ask for a woman's advice in a store if you want to buy something?

Yes!

> Can you start a friendly conversation with a guy (stranger) at a bar ?

no.

> Can you have a conversation with a woman without thinking about everything you say or do?

If it's a highly transaction-oriented, emotionless conversation, yes! Otherwise no.

> If not, then you need to be comfortable with these things.

Great. Now how? I'm reading a book on Loneliness right now, which is helping me to identify some of the self-defeating patterns that I engage in, but it is very light on advice on how to change it (as any responsibly-written academic book would be expected to be). What do I do to get better at those things?

u/Not_Jane_Gumb · 3 pointsr/FeMRADebates

I hate typing out a long comment and not getting a reply, and you made some good points, which I'd like to respond to. Since I'm middle-aged and male, I have a unique perspective on this issue, and I also want to share that. First one, then the other.
 
First and foremost, despite being married to the love of my life, whom I have known for over a decade, and who has allowed me to be "plugged in" to a social network of peers who I would not have the pleasure of spending time with otherwise, I am incredibly lonely. I don't think I'm alone on this...I think most people who spend time on message boards and platforms like this are. You posited that the article says It's dangerous for a man to reveal his vulnerability in this regard. Well, I'm not worried about consequences here or elsewhere, and I think this point misses the mark a bit.
 
Being lonely often drives you to behavior that increases loneliness. I read this first in this excellent book. The article says this, too: you are more self-conscious at social gatherings because you think that people don't like you. Kanye West said it better in song. Put simply people who fail to make connections with others tend to be very good at not making those connections. I think this is because they become needy, which is an extremely unattractive quality, especially if you are male.
 
You wondered if shut-ins were isolated because of poor health, and I think your emphasis on "which way the causal arrow points" misses something very important: people who have risk factors for poor health tend to be in better health than those who are socially isolated. Malcolm Gladwell's "The Outliers" starts with a neat anecdote to illustrate this point: an epidemiological study of transplanted Italian immigrants shows that they have almost no history of heart disease. Several hypotheses are tested, but none of them hold up. Do they exercise more? Nope...and they smoke like chiminies. Do they eat better? Their diet consists of fatty foods and pastries. Is there anything exceptional about them? Yes...they kept their language and culture intact by spending time together. Gladwell is trying to make a different point here (that outliers can be instructive in challenging how we think about success), but I think the example is illustrative, just the same.
 
Lastly, I want to quibble a bit about how you receive the author' s argument that loneliness is due to "poor socialization." You may not have a strong opinion on this, so if I'm putting words in your mouth, it is not intentional. I'm trying to tease out a larger point and I think I'm going to approach it by talking about some of my experiences below.

***

This is the part where I talk about my experience. It is going to contain a few asterisks points that I won't elaborate on, unless you or someone else has questions. It also serves as a handy list of "reasons I will never work at Google."
 
Now then:

  • In my experience, women tend to form closer and more intimate relationships than men. (That is, the women in my peer group are much closer than the men.) I have no idea why this is, and I'm not really interested in the reasons. I'm happy for them, even if I wish I was closer to my male peers in my social circle.

  • In my experience, the women in my peer group have much more turbulent and drama-ridden relationships. I know two women who are not talking to each other, and no one knows why. When it comes down to it, I have a lot of qualities that make me unlikable, and that probably allow me to sabotage the friendships I would hope to form, thus giving me a measure of control over something that I know I can't control. I'm sure at least some of the men in my peer group have said unkind things about me...and yet, I so don't care. The guys are all civil in a way that, if you picture us like robotic Stepford husbands, would be unnerving.

  • I've given some thought into why I'm not able to form closer friendships with the men in my group, and my admitted lack of social graces aside, I noticed something: they all work very hard at being devoted and loving partners to the women in their lives. As a married guy, I can say that no one prepares you for the sheer amount of work involved in initiating and maintaining a relationship. All of is worth it, though. Put simply, I don't care what other men think of me. I care what the women in my peer group think of me quite a bit. I hope you find that comforting or sweet, but I only care what you think if you don't have a Y chromosome.

  • (Here I am responding to the last point above.) The feminist movement has been around long enough that it's effects on how men are socialized simply cannot be ignored. The author here seems to argue that "not enough" is being done or that what is being done is not working and must be changed. But I was encouraged to show my feelings growing up, and so have most men in the Western world been. So why so many male loners? This is just a guess, but if you are going to make it as a guy, you need to have a thick skin and be able to live with not getting what you want. You will be expected to pursue it, and no one will let you think that your failures belong to anyone other than you. If this seems like a broadside to the concept of "privilege," it isn't...that concept itself ignores the fact that there are few desirable traits among men that make a small percentage of men successful, and the rest of us are losers. I think It's nice to that someone wants to pay attention to us losers, but...well, we can't all be winners. Some of us have to find other ways to get our needs met. On that note, if you read any of this, thank you!

  • Sorry, one last note: men don't get to have as many intimate relationships as we'd like, but there is something laudable about male friendship that I want to bring up: with all of my male friends who I have known past and present, if I reach out to them and they respond, we will pick up right where we left off, as if there hasn't been a break in communication. There is no animosity aimed at whoever broke off contact, and we are genuinely interested in each other's lives. I was trying to describe male friendship in my mind, and this scene from "The Town," which properly presents loyalty instead of no-drama, but which also shows how a lot of guy friends conduct their dealings with other men as if they were on the same wavelength, without any need for explanation:

    >Doug MacRay: I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people.
    >James Coughlin: ...Whose car are we gonna' take?

u/okko7 · 2 pointsr/lonely

Hey. I don't know if you do read book. Me too, I needed quite some time to get into my first relationship. One of the books that at least helped me understand was "If I'm so wonderful, why am I still single" from Susan Page.

Another book that I can really, really recommend is Loneliness, Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John T. Caciappo.

As each of us is different, there is no one book (or one advice) that helps all. But I found it really interesting to read these book to understand, and make me more optimistic about the future. Maybe also something for you?

u/[deleted] · 2 pointsr/rape

I don't think you refuse to let go. Sounds like you're just in the process of figuring out your feelings and how to deal with the traumatic situation in a way that feels worthwhile to you, and you're frustrated. It was definitely rape btw. He was attracted to you, saw that you were trusting and in a tough situation, and took advantage of you. Repeatedly. He is...scum of the earth. You are...blameless, STRONG, and likely a good person. A lot of abusers were once abused themselves, and perpetuate the cycle. It sounds like you're stronger than this abuse in that way. He definitely wasn't! Again, he is scum of the earth and you were so young, so impressionable, and blameless of what he did.

However, the weed/anorexia/bad people seems to indicate that you take out your negative feelings ON YOURSELF (unlike him and his friend, who took it out on an innocent person!). I really hope you see the good and the beauty and inherent worth you have, and act on it for self care.

If you could get him on rape charges, I think that could be helpful. Seeing him get rightful punishment would likely make you feel better. You'd be verbally defending your own worth, and punishing him for trying to deprive you of what you were born with (the right to self worth and dignity). I understand you might not feel that you're in the right place to pursue such aims, which is a feeling I empathize with; I type this only out of care and concern.

Stop directing your feelings inward, at least. You probably already know this, but the cutting/anorexia/bad people are ways to indirectly express your inner pain. Some people lash out when they're angry; you partially take it out on yourself, likely because this is the method you've become accustomed to. Find ways to express your emotions positively, without resorting to these methods that clearly are not working with you. Like: making art, looking at art, making music/poetry/etc., listening to music/poetry, journaling, reading about emotions. It's fun.

Think about how you want to be treated. Write a list even. Don't allow people into your live who cross those boundaries. Volunteer at a nursing home or volunteer anywhere, to escape loneliness and help others. Practice setting boundaries and demanding the love you need and deserve. Practicepracticepractice

One other piece of advice: eating disorders are strongly tied to not knowing or understanding personal feelings. Maybe because you have to deal with such strong, poignant, hurtful feelings, you've numbed yourself from experiencing them, to stop the pain. Completely understandable. Please, explore your emotions more, and in healthful, constructive ways. Begin journaling, join a support group, read about emotions (http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/055338371X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406344677&sr=1-1&keywords=emotional+intelligence+by+daniel+goleman, emotions of loneliness:http://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283). Take care of your physical well-being, because that will also affect how you feel. Take up some mindfulness meditation, to understand your feelings and not let them overwhelm you.

Even the abuse is a sign that you are worth it. Abuse is like thievery. Abusers are trying to take something worthwhile, and giving less than nothing for what they are taking. If you weren't worth something, your abuser --the cretin!-- would have been a cretin elsewhere.

Take what your worth, and get something for it. Get love, get girls and guys who you'll be proud to hang out with, find a life where you never have to rely on just One person again. Get what you are worth.

Sending lots of internet love <3

Keep strong, girl. I have a good feeling that you will be able to overcome this.

u/bludswettiers · 1 pointr/helpme



Did you know that in Korea, people are recording themselves while having dinner? And people are actually paying to watch these videos! Is this another sign of loneliness creeping up on all of us?

According to a study of more than 170,000 people published at the Psychology Bulletin in 2013, the average adult’s network of friends and colleagues have shrunk over the past 3 decades. It’s no wonder many people feel lonelier than ever.

Feeling lonely, however, is not a direct cause of being alone. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowd.

Loneliness, in fact, is more dangerous than isolation because it increases a person’s mortality rate, according to John Cacioppo, co-author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Needs for Social Connection.

If it’s so dangerous, how do we fight loneliness then?

Wondering What to Do When You Feel Lonely? Here Are 25 Tried and Tested Tips

1. Just Show Up

Familiarity breeds attraction. A study published at the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that same-sex strangers felt increasing affinity towards each other, after each conversation they had. The same goes for online chat conversations. Don’t be hesitant to talk to people, even if you feel awkward or don’t like them at first. If you’re genuinely interested or curious about others, they’re more likely to reciprocate those feelings.

2. Go On A Solo Date

You know the problem with group and couples dates? The annoying “So what do we do?” and “Where do we eat?” questions. When you go on a date with yourself, you’re sure to go somewhere you actually like and you don’t have to wait around for others to decide.

3. Know The Difference Between Loneliness and Isolation

Loneliness is an emotion, mostly triggered by a sad memory. Unfortunately the brain loves to overanalyze things, so even momentary loneliness can escalate to longer spells because of thoughts like “Why do I feel so alone?” and “Am I a loser no one loves?” When this happens, just acknowledge the feeling and don’t overreact.

5. Watch A Movie

Watch a movie alone or call some friends to go with you—it doesn’t matter. What’s important is you immerse yourself in an interesting story that’ll erase your gloomy thoughts. Watch a chick-flick, or a super hero movie—anything but a tear jerker, really —and grab lots of candy and popcorn.

6. Volunteer

Focusing on the needs of others steers your mind away from sad thoughts. It’s impossible to feel lonely when you’re feeding the homeless, reading to kids at an orphanage, or dancing with grandmas at a salsa class. Helping the less fortunate will also fill you with immense gratitude.

7. Adopt A Cute Pet

A furry cat or dog will cheer you up. The playfulness of pets, plus the troubles (and fun) you’ll experience while training them will make you forget about your troubles. Even a goldfish or pretty parrot can do wonders for your mood.

8. Identify The Cause Of Your Loneliness

“What to do when you feel lonely?”

I can’t imagine how many people have Googled that phrase when they felt the pangs of loneliness. Unfortunately, it’s not the best question to ask. Would you ask a doctor for a prescription before they check your symptoms?

Instead of trying things randomly, hoping one solution will do the trick—losing hope and feeling worse when it doesn’t—it’s better to identify the cause of your loneliness first. If you were previously happy in your own company, what could’ve caused you to feel lonely this time?

Do your friends make you feel lonely? Is it your work or surroundings, perhaps? The cause of your loneliness will clue you in on the appropriate solution.

9. Read Fiction

Please don’t pick a Dummies book on how to stop feeling lonely. Reading self-help when you’re feeling miserable will make just you feel worse. Read a good novel instead. Losing yourself in a good story or identifying with a powerful character will boost your confidence and fill you with a sense of adventure.

10. Take A Bath

Where do good ideas come from? In the shower, right? Taking a nice, long, and relaxing bath is a great way to be bask in your alone time, instead of drowning in self-pity. Ladies, prepare a glass of red, chocolates and magazines. Gents, take a bubble bath ala Chandler by taking a manly boat with you!

11. Take A Random Bus, Train or Flight Off to Anywhere

Taking public transportation to a random location forces you to do two things—be in the company of strangers, and change your environment. Doing this will ward off loneliness and cure your wanderlust as well.

12. Dance (Naked)

Sometimes, we feel lonely because we’re actually alone. So take this chance to do the things you can only do when you’re alone, like dancing naked or jumping on the bed with your shoes on. Doing crazy stuff alone will give you a good laugh.

14. Watch Friends

Okay, it’s now obvious that I love this show! I’ve watched it 5x now and it still makes me laugh. Watch “The One with the Unagi” and “The One With the Embryos” if you’re feeling lonely and need a good laugh.

15. Get Coffee

Go to a coffee shop far from your apartment or office. Then order coffee and sit on the bar, or that big table on the center where you can talk to people. Compliment someone on their tie, shoes or bag. Start a conversation. Don’t worry if you’re bad at small talk, because chances are you won’t see that person again.

18. Look Through Old photos

Prepare some snacks or some tea and canapés ala afternoon high-tea, if you’re feeling fancy. Reminisce the good old days with a friend, your mom or sis. Remembering your crazy antics, and most embarrassing moments caught on camera will fill you with nostalgic memories and drive away loneliness.

19. Get A Camera

Get a camera, then go out and start taking beautiful pictures of things around you. A sunset, a barking dog, or a laughing baby—filling your life with beautiful things can take your mind off of loneliness.

20. Attend Classes For A Fun New Exercise Like Air Yoga, Pole Dancing, Or Trampoline Jumping

The exact exercise doesn’t matter. The point is to get yourself moving, while trying something new in the supportive environment of a group class.

21. Start A 5-Minute Gratitude Journal

It’s hard to feel down when you know that you have a lot to be thankful for. When you don’t know what to be thankful for, just write what you feel. Sometimes, it can help you identify why you feel lonely in the first place.

23. Plan A holiday

Nothing beats loneliness and overwhelm like planning a great holiday vacation. Looking up flights, hotel deals and stuff to do on a random faraway location will boost your spirits and steer your mind off your negative thoughts. You don’t really need to book a trip, sometimes the act of planning for one is enough.

24. Create Something New

Wondering how to not feel lonely, when you actually prefer to be alone? Getting bored is a prerequisite of feeling lonely. And what’s one of the main causes of getting bored? Having nothing to do. So keep yourself occupied! Try a new recipe. Create a scrapbook. Finish that DIY project you’ve been postponing for so long.

25. Do Something Craaazy

Dress up like a tourist, and do all the cheesy touristy things in your city. Eat the local delicacy, tour the crowded tourist spots and explore new locations you’ve never heard of.

u/RitzkyBitz · 1 pointr/lonely

Actually yes l, if. I remember correctly while reading this book. https://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283

Something to do with how loneliness is as bad as smoking.

u/markkizzz · 1 pointr/lonely

in a Nordic country. In this place, you might well meet people but unfortunately things end the moment each one goes home. Any contacting without a drink is almost certainly unjustified.

I can tell you that in other countries like France or Germany, i would have no problem whatsoever fitting into a network, But here is another story.

I do mainly aerobic.
At one stage i seeked refuge in intensive aerobic sport, like the stationary bike.. Although that made a lot of benefit, i was doing it while i was disconnected from my surrounding. At one stage i got some hyperventilation issues (feeling that not enough air is available/absorbed) that might be described as sort of panic.. but nothing more than that.. when stopped doing that sport and reduced wok i healed progressively.

I have learned this great book about the subject, and i literally found out that the only remedy is basically to start connecting for real. The author of that book does have a great show in Youtube.

But still one who thinks he can do a lot of things on his own, might just find himself completely broken. When asked here i was sinking into an abyss of despair..

Small things are big things, and answer from someone here or there does bring with it a lot of hope and piece.

u/jellyready · 1 pointr/AskMen

Female here, but have been in the same boat. Grew up super isolated, so I spent a lot of my 20s on my own and really lonely. Now have several solid friendships, a lot of acquaintances and dating prospects. So, I see myself as a success story. A lot of people on here are saying they’ve given up or feel hopeless, but I’m here to tell you it can change.

That loneliness shit is universal/literally an epidemic at this point. It has a lot to do with how our modern society is structured; hyper-independence is lauded, but actually unnatural. It’s not a reflection on you and your likability or lack there of.

(read “Loneliness - Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection” for more info. It helped me see it wasn’t something inherently wrong with me, but just something everyone experiences. Some people moreso because of practical things like not socialized properly in childhood, lacking skills, etc. It also gives a lot of info of how to get out of the lonely headspace). https://www.amazon.ca/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283

Also therapy, both individual and group, helped me learn social skills and build connections that got me healthier socially.

(Read “Attached” to learn more about how your style of relating to others may be unhealthy, with guidance on how to improve it.)
https://www.amazon.ca/Attached-Science-Attachment-Find-Keep/dp/1585429139

Basically, a quick recipe is:

  1. See the situation as cause and effect, not having anything inherently to do with you as a person or your worth. You’re lonely because of circumstances (that luckily you can control), not because you’re not likeable.

  2. See it as a choice. You’re not helpless. There are things you can do. First, find your blind spots/blocks (with a therapist if you need help seeing them).

    Is it: a lack of social skills? You can learn those. Tons of psych articles out there.

    A lack of confidence? Start building it through changing your thoughts about yourself (cbt, self-coaching, etc). And figure out things that make you happy and do more of them.

    A lot of social (and normal) confidence comes from how others treat us, so if you’re not getting a lot of positive feedback from other humans, get a pet that loves the shit out of you, some online pals, or GET A THERAPIST. A good one will make you feel valued and respected and welcome. Those feelings and that long term connection will build our confidence subtly but naturally.

  3. Go out more and do the things. First figure out what you enjoy, and then find social ways to do it. You could see a movie on your own, or start a movie night at your place. You could play games by yourself, or join a league. You could work on your car yourself, or join some enthusiasts club (idk I’m trying to think of dude things). You could take up knitting at home, or go to a knitting circle. Whatever it is.

  4. Mitigate Expectations - don’t go to a non-primarily-social place and hope/try for a best friend. The person behind you in the grocery store probably isn’t looking for that when you guys exchange a quick comment about the line length. Or the cashier probably doesn’t wanna have a three hour convo. But still chat these ppl up (platonically). Make small talk frequently. Just engage in the world/people around you. It builds social confidence and breaks through isolation in quick bursts. But do talk to people more.

    And then when in very socially-focussed environments, see if there’s anyone that YOU find interesting (instead of focusing on whether or not they’ll find you interesting) and go talk to them. Aim for having a good convo and maybe being fb friends. Take it from there.


    You all got this, dude friends. There is legit hope/resources out there to change, both tour mindset and your situation. I believe in you!
u/Bukujutsu · 1 pointr/Nootropics

You reminded me of this: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Guide-Developing-Lifes-Important/dp/0316167258
Highly recommend it, if it gives a negative impression, being too "pop-y", NYT best seller prole crap, it's not. The author has an interesting background and has worked in actual scientific studies.

It allowed me to understand why I reached the pinnacle of unhappiness, with effects bleeding over into extremely worrisome physiological effects (don't really like the distinction, but it provides some clarity in communication). I'm not the kind of person that accepts information in books without skepticism or critique/analysis, the sound logic, gauged by my prior knowledge/habit of extreme-systemizing humanity, made me realize that I had literally done the exact opposite on every single point (Autism had a lot to do with that. It has incredibly high suicide rates and comorbidities for a reason).

I also realized why some hermits/monks may have been able to genuinely maintain a state of genuine bliss in (near) constant isolation and I wasn't.

There's the problem of a likely massive selection bias, though. You'd be taking a major gamble, and are likely greatly underestimating the amount of time and effort that would be required to attain this. I mean spending years at a good Buddhist monastery or being guided by someone like Matthieu Ricard. Working on it by yourself (I'd highly recommend the book as a guide) would certainly improve your well being.

All I'm saying is don't take this lightly. There's a massive difference between having even one person in your life that you can talk openly with and no one at all. Although you are starting a graduate program, so I assume you're planning on a career where you'll have at least some relatable people (assortativity). Just being around people, but without any intimacy (I don't use the word synonymous with sex), a feeling of connection, meaningful conversations, isn't enough. What's so insidious about it is that the decline can be so gradual that by the time you realize/come to terms with it years of damage may have been done. If you feel your well being/mental health/happiness declining, bail immediately. Not saying you shouldn't reflect on it and just run towards something that feels safe.

There's also this: https://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283

Sorry if I read too much into this. Haha, I am on flmodafinil and parnate. I just have a habit of warning people who may be going down a similar path.

"Man can do what he wants, but he cannot want what he wants."

"Man is to be surpassed."

Pay heed to biological/physical limitations, if you're going against eons of evolution, you're probably going to lose. Man will be surpassed, but the time hasn't yet come.

Oy, rereading your original post, I definitely read too much into this. Still, training over months can lessen the pain, but won't be sufficient, to the point where I'd recommend avoiding long stretches as much as possible unless you've arrived at a point in life where you have a very healthy baseline to return to.