Reddit reviews Lords of the Levee: The Story of Bathhouse John and Hinky Dink

I can stand much, sir, but your impudent ramblings on the proper dressing of a Vienna sausage are a bridge too far.

For I have seen atrocities in the Crimea, and yet worse in the Punjab. But no outrage within all the empire would compare to the mortal sin of sullying the delicate blend of sweet-salty-sour that comes from the natural chemistry of pickled-cucumber, fresh tomato, mustard sauce (preferably continental), and finely chopped onions, with something so base as your cat-sup, good sir.

You would not know fine sausage if it were to announce itself Thursday with fanfare in advance of Sunday tea. HA!

You have impugned my honor, sir, and in so doing have called into question the honor and good name of the fair city of Chicago.

I demand satisfaction.

We shall meet with pistols at dawn.

I shall leave the exact date of the dawn up to you, but it must be at dawn.

As for the pistols, I suggest water pistols. Or lasertag?