Reddit reviews Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series)
We found 23 Reddit comments about Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series). Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
New Harbinger Publications
Hang in there. Even when your SO are discharged, it will take months if not years for the brain to heal. Also with meds, it keep those highs at bay and he'd have to adjust to the new normal. Explain to him that the meds are to prevent another relapse and hospitalization, each relapse damages the brain.
Basically if you go to therapy session, they'll say the same thing as these books, so reading them prior will help reinforce the treatment plan and help your SO through recovery.
Caution: There are good therapist and bad therapist , your gut feeling will tell you! Seen a few bad ones which made the situation with SO worse. So if therapist say things that contradicts these books, I'd have serious concerns and will seek 2nd opinion.
Ask your therapist: How many years of experience in Mood Disorder and have he/she handled bipolar patients, what is the general outcome of these patients. If he/she claims 100% success, then they are lying since some cases are untreatable. Sad to say that some will continue seeing you and take your money, despite not knowing how to treat mood disorder.
During therapy session: Do take notes and write everything down. Sometimes your SO may interpret things differently and those notes will clear any confusion. If SO insist otherwise, bring the issue up in next session.
tl;dr: Read those books and shop for suitable therapist, take notes.
Edit: Just read your previous posting. Ya, even with Zyprexa, my SO relapsed into a major episode requiring 6 weeks hospitalization. And with current meds, she still has a few minor episodes yearly!
This is a really good book for people who have a partner with bipolar. It has a different perspective than textbooks and articles with general information about the illness, and gives some more practical info about how to talk to us when we're "out of it" and such.
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192/ref=pd_sim_b_5
I am sorry this is happening to you. I feel your pain.
I am currently in the divorce process myself. I found out my wife cheated around my wedding anniversary and kept doing it for months after I found out. Than she went into a destructive phase of drinking, smoking and I was told before Christmas she wanted a divorce, served right after and will legally be divorced right before my birthday. Just sucks
I too care for my wife a lot but the thing is (which you won't want to hear) is no matter how hard you try you can't stop them from pushing you away. I got her/us to therapy and I would go 2x a week to help relay info to the doc. Denial often times happens as they feel good from thrill seeking or while on the high. So everything seems normal. Medication is key as is sleep and routine.
I wish you the best of luck. Maybe she will go to therapy.
Was she ever destructive? If you want to read a good book to understand more I suggest
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
Probably one of the most popular books for spouses and helps put perspective on things
BP 2, here. Is your gf on any kind of medication? Honestly, it doesn't sound like it, or if she is, she needs a higher dose.
There is a TON of info about bipolar disorder, and a large amount of information for loved ones who have a family member with bp. You just gotta look a bit harder.
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder
and
The Bipolar Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know.
These are both great books. I can attest for the latter, especially. It has helped my mother and sister understand me a bit more.
Also, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness is truly an amazing book. It was the first time I felt like there were other people who got it, who understood. I highly recommend it for both you and your girlfriend. I wish I could emphasize just how much I recommend that book. It is really wonderful.
Most of all, your girlfriend needs to take a bit of responsibility for what is going on with her. Medicine and therapy.
Bipolar disorder is not something that goes away. But it is manageable. It took me almost 10 years to get my meds right, and find a place where I am improving - but you know what? I AM improving. Every day is a fight. But it is a fight worth winning.
I wish you all the luck. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.
Edit: After re-reading your post, I question if maybe you aren't spending too much time with your friend. I get he needs support, but you can't be his crutch. I could definitely understand if you're girlfriend is feeling a bit of resentment.
Also best you educate yourself about this disease, books that helped me:-
Distraction and breathing techniques didn't help for my bipolar SO. Maybe that's her.
I'm not the expert of such matters, but I know of a book "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner"
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
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There is also a chance that she is suffering from some kind of personality disorder which can go farther than bipolar in explaining the pathological lying and other kinds of behavior, but that's really for the experts to sort out. There are certain healthy habits that help right like exercise, routine, diet, cbt, and if you got into those things maybe that would be a good influence. That's the best I got buddy and I hope it does something. I have a lot of books but sometimes time and love is the most important factor too, I don't know. <3
Thanks for sharing.
>Any tips for a "normal" (sorry, don't know the right term) girl dating a girl with Bipolar II and anxiety?
While you will never be able to completely understand what it's like to have Bipolar or anxiety, educating yourself can help a lot. For example you could read the books "Living With Someone Who's Living With Bipolar Disorder: A Practical Guide for Family, Friends, and Coworkers", "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner", and "Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner".
Also, it would be a great idea if you could learn how to listen to her talk about her problems without freaking out. In the relationships that I have been in, I haven't ever had the ability to talk about how I feel without worrying about how my partner would react. My partners haven't been helpful at all. As a result, I often had to deal with Bipolar Disorder by myself, and I was never able to talk about my symptoms with my partner.
This book helped my husband (and therefore me) so much. Highly recommend it.
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
I read this book a couple years ago to better understand a friend. One specific bit of advice I liked was keeping a mood journal with your boyfriend. My friend discovered that November was an especially tough month for her. It has some other strategies as well.
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
I'd recommend Julie A. Fast's book and NAMI Family to Family meetings.
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner
Having read them, I can recommend the following:
The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide
Bipolar 101: A Practical Guide to Identifying Triggers, Managing Medications, Coping with Symptoms, and More
Treating Bipolar Disorder - This one is more clinician based, but interesting.
Mindfulness for Bipolar Disorder
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder
Edited for layout.
Bottom line is to establish clear boundaries with the BipolarSO and stop yourself being dragged back into this unhealthy environment. I'd prefer to cut off all ties, however we have a teenager son, so she visits often and we exchange pleasantries.
Helped my bipolarSO recover from 3 major breakdowns and had to deal with 3-4 yearly minor episodes for over a decade. Her last mania episode, she committed adultery, even deny it when confronted. Finally she admitted her infidelity, claims it was a mistake, went for a separation and continued seeing new men.
I honestly won't know how I'd react if she has her next major breakdown. I only hope that my teenage son would not be around to witness the mom in full psychosis, to be restrained by the cops or locked in a fully padded room. Lets pray that the meds will keep her stable.
Agree with gdobssor, quote: "...how terrible his choices were and how little responsibility he took for them, I would still let him back whenever he wanted". Lesson here is: Learn to be selfish since all the self-sacrifice won't cure or save your bipolarSO, it only drains your mental health.
Books that helped somewhat:
> I'm not sick...
> Loving someone with Bipolar Disorder
> Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide
This book was suggested by our therapist, was cheap And came quickly
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608822192/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_h3uEDbK081XX7
I'm in a similar situation. While mine is not a LDR, we don't live together yet and I commute to work in another city (1.5 hours away). Most of the time everything is fine since he is in a stable state at the moment, thanks to medication, but sometimes I also worry when something doesn't seem OK and I'm at work or when we don't see each other for a few days. I understand exactly what you say about not wanting to be overbearing (or smothering in my case, asking way too much if he is OK, for example), mainly because my SO has been dealing with it on his own his whole life (his family doesn't know) and he is very independent. But still, I worry, its inevitable. I've had a couple of anxiety attacks and both times I really thought something wasn't right because of a number of factors but in the end nothing bad was happening, he had just overslept or was busy or something. I went with a psychologist for other stuff but this became the main topic. Unfortunately she wasn't quite up to date on the bipolar disorder subject and finally I thought it wasn't taking me anywhere so I stopped going. Anyways, refocusing on your question 'what should I do?', I can recommend the book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, it has been an eye opener and it even provides some insight into bipolar medication. I'm thinking of getting an appointment with my SO's psychiatrist (if he is OK with it), so her or someone she recommends could help me find ways to cope with my (maybe) unfounded worries but mostly with ways I can actually be of help and service to my SO; perhaps you could do the same.
I’d communicate right now and clearly your perspective here. If he gaslights you or acts passive aggressive that’s a huge sign. I hate to say this but we tend to attract/be attracted to people who can hurt us. I also recommend Julie Fast’s book.
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
I see there's a lot of moving parts in terms of finances and family dynamics, but my suggestion is to put a lot of effort into finding a new living environment. I think it would be in the best interest of your girlfriend's health, your relationship, and your finances. Straining yourself to try to support her family, who turn around and disrespect you, seems like a situation you'd benefit greatly to get out of.
Finances may be the biggest constraint and may also be the reason you are with them to start with, but it would be worth checking out if there were any cheap-ish apartments in your area.
edit: for the relationship aspect, this book is an excellent resource for building the right mindset and communication techniques. http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1426560199&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=loving+someone+with+bipolar
Communication in general is one of the most important things; strive for complete transparency in your relationship so that you can always focus on supporting her and limiting strife that you could potentially add. It's complicated, do a lot of research. Post here if you need anyone.
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
If you’re both serious about making this relationship work you should buy him this book and tell him you want to
work through it together: https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
My Husband was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 earlier this year.
I'm still working through it, but I have found this book helpful.
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
Good Luck!
How old is your daughter? I know of a few books that might be able to help.
http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Survival-Second-Edition/dp/1606235427/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&amp;refRID=185VDHE67X9K5HTZHGCD
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Child-Bipolar-Parent-Parent/dp/1930085060
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
http://www.amazon.com/The-Bipolar-Teen-Child-Family-ebook/dp/B005D5ASL8
Have you considered counselling? Often, the people supporting the person with bipolar need support just as much as the person with bipolar does. There are also support groups that exist for family members and loved ones.
Good luck!
fellow SO here... may want to give the book Loving someone with Bipolar a read. I haven't yet but I've heard good things.
May want to look into NAMI (if in US) for support groups for both you and your SO. I've attended regularly and they have been a big help
also, join us over at /r/bipolarSOs
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Second Edition: Understanding and Helping Your Partner (New Harbinger Loving Someone Series) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1608822192/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_a2L0Bb78CH5PH
I just ordered this one for my husband. It has some good reviews so I’m hoping it will help him out!
I'm sorry your coworkers haven't been supportive.
It's horrible seeing your girlfriend in a zombie stage but to be quite honest it seem seems like you're still in the beginning of all of this.
My husband has been hospitalized twice this year and honestly it should've been three times. I remember the first time he went he stayed for 4 days and they were the longest days of my life. He told me he felt better, he looked better. I wanted him home so badly, but to be quite honest, it's really not that simple. A few days in the hospital doesn't really do much as much as you think it will do. He wasn't ready for it yet. My husband took over 9 months to find a medication that has really worked for him, and those 9 months were complete hell. After many many many bad reactions to his meds, from many attempts of ending his own life, to threatening divorce, to me just not knowing what to do anymore. 2014 was no doubtingly the worst year of our lives. Luckily we've made it and we are currently better than ever. He found the right med and honestly if I were religious it's been pretty much a miracle drug for us. He does find himself to be a little more sleepy than normal but we are still working on it and it's not that bad at all.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take care of yourself. I know it sounds impossible, but you really have to. You probably hear this all the time, but you just really have to. It's good for you and it's awesome for her. You have to have some hope it will get better. Think of this as any other illness that can be cured. It's a long ass road ahead.
Also one great thing to do is really educate yourself on everything Bipolar. There are some great books out there if you take a look.
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
I know it has a ridiculous title but this book really educated me in learning how to react and really understand what is going on. I feel like I could have prevented soo many outbreaks with it (not blaming myself but we both took so much to heart)
Find a good therapist for yourself, it can take a few tries. Some say this is even harder than the meds but that wasn't the story for us. I ended up going to therapy alone because it's really exhausting after going through something like this.