Reddit reviews Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World

It wouldn't do any harm to read, many people have found it helpful. Just don't get involved with him or the community, it's rage porn escapism that'll leave you mentally worse off. Just look at how awful the posts in his subreddit are - leftists are just as miserable, but generally more out of despair and empathy than rage. (There are many exceptions, I know, I've been one more than a few times.)

A friend recommended this book: https://smile.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249. Probably gets the same point across but in half the pages.

The only one I've found helpful is The Antidote. The author's accent is pleasant, it's a good audiobook to walk around with if it hasn't yet gotten too cold where you are. Or just to play mindless video games like Diablo or Katamari Damacy with. Here's a 30min talk he did, worth giving a shot if stoicism has ever resonated with you.

And I might as well throw this talk out as well. Not necessarily productive, but it was very comforting and validating for me after having been long burnt out on Alan Watts platitudes.

But back to jbp - again, the book resonates with a lot of people (I think he functions as a stand-in father figure for many), I'm sure you can pick out what's helpful and leave the rest if you want. His cultural criticism is laser-focused on diversity and his fan base is continually upset, though, so I think there are more constructive writers out there.

This is getting way too long, sorry, but adding one more link: for anyone who feels they might be in an upswing right now and receptive to "you should try harder" advice, I enjoyed this blog post.

I am in the middle of reading a book called, "make your bed". He says how making your bed every morning is the best way to start your day. You started your day by completing a task before even leaving the house.

>he expresses about taking control of your life and “cleaning your room”

A lot of his self-help tips are probably based on early 2000's ephemeral internet trends that can be found elsewhere. And as Contrapoints makes clear, there are subjects he talks about that are worth considering, like moving past considering yourself a victim. He does not develop these very far and obviously does not practice any of these principles himself, only hopes to weaponize them against his political opponents.

>for me his politics are rather a secondary thing to me.

The majority of his time is overwhelmingly spent on political campaigns at this point, so it's extremely difficult to separate the politics from the man anymore.

Have you read Make Your Bed? It's based off of this speech, but goes a little deeper. I wouldn't say it's a life-changing book, but a good reminder of things we should probably be doing in our lives. It's a short, easy read. I read it in one sitting.

I was more clueless about life when I was 18 than I would have cared to admit at the time.

However when I was 18 I was already running my own business and making good money at it, something called a BBS (bulletin board system) which was a precursor to the WWW. I was already using the Internet way before the WWW and transferred my business to the Web when it was viable to do so. I eventually sold it in 1998.

Here's some advice, not that you asked for it.

Make a personal mission statement. This will change throughout the years, review it every year or a couple times a year. Google "make a personal mission statement" and start getting ideas. No rush here, spend a few days thinking about it. It's a living document of your purpose so feel free to change it as changing fits. I keep my mission statement tacked behind my work laptop and have it memorized by now.

Next you'll want to make goals. I have yearly goals I make at the start of each year, due by Feb 1. Then I make 10 year goals for the decade. By your age I had a goal sheet, which I accomplished, to get me to the age of 30. This is a good primer for it: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_90.htm this appears to be a paywall site but allows you to look at this article without paying.

We had a meeting a couple years ago, about 120 of us in attendance, and a retired Navy Seal was giving a group of us a motivational speech and provided content. He asked who had goals written down, about 20% of us raised our hands. He asked who had 10 year goals, about 10 people raised their hands. Then he asked who had 100 year goals and I was the only one who raised a hand.

I suppose he wasn't expecting anyone to claim a 100 year goal list, but here I am. A top earner in the room and a leader in the same respect. He asked me what the 100 year goals included and I told him "Legacy" which is funny because his next slide was about legacy, so I queued him up for a win. My answer was "I'm not just doing this for me, I'm creating a legacy and I want my great great great grandchild to get a check some day to pay for a house, or pay for college."

When I was 18 I didn't want kids. Well, now I have 3, and it's funny how life does that to you. Legacy is about taking care of your future after you die. Whether that's a charity, family, or something else you're interested in. Make your 100 year goals, yes you'll be dead, that's irrelevant. "You can't take it with you!" is a stupid phrase I've always frowned at. You can't take anything with you, but you can leave behind an enduring legacy, even if small.

So get your goals squared away and you'll start to feel less clueless about life, by the way, as a guy in my mid 40s there are plenty of things I'm clueless about. My son is about to turn 18, just graduated high school, I've given him the same advice as you. I'll be mentoring him through summer until he starts college.

Try to find a mentor, even if it's a college student only 2 years older than you. Surround yourself with smart able people. Make friends with people better than you. I've always had some older friends and today I have several in their 60s/70s. Retired CEOs, CIOs, guys who ran giant fishing fleets, guys that ran giant telcos, surgeons, politicians, etc. People I can learn from.

Never be afraid to be the youngest and certainly never be afraid to be the lowest on the ladder. This is how we learn and grow by surrounding ourselves with success.

Always read. It doesn't have to be a book about anything but always read. I go between fun books, historical books, and motivational or educational books. Start here: https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249

Good luck my man. You've got this, we need you.

I liked it more when it came from McRaven.

A. Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World https://www.amazon.com/dp/1455570249/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_vHE3AbY88JWM8

I have the book (actually its my wife's) haven't read it yet, but basically the main premise is to make your bed first thing after you get up for the same basic reason of having made one small accomplishment.

B. Re: water: if you know you aren't drinking enough water, you're probably chronically dehydrated. If you think you're drinking enough, you still probably aren't. Remember the general rule of thumb has long been 8, 8-oz. glasses each day, which is 64 oz or half a gallon.

I drink between 1-2 gallons each day and really cannot overstate the benefits it's had for me. The biggest thing for me is I used to have chronic neck & shoulder / upper back pain, which usually devolved into an almost crippling headache just about each day.

Turns out I wasn't getting enough water. 🙄

I like my water COLD, so I got myself a 64 oz. stainless double walled jug off amazon - a generic one - the HydroFlask brand are stupid over priced and they're really all the same. Keeps my water ice-cold until its ready for a refill from one of 5, 48 oz. nalgenes I keep in the fridge at all times.

That's how I count my water intake too, since I know the main jug is 64 oz.

I also found a really cool carrier for it: GoNovate 64 oz Pouch / Sleeve with Carrying Handle for Hydro Flask Bottles, w/ 2 Pockets and Adjustable Shoulder Strap https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019COFX3S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_-ME3Ab437CY64

Needless to say, anytime I'm going to be out of the house for more than 30 min, I bring this puppy along.

Making your bed has other benefits than looking nice. There may be a psychological benefit.

Admiral McRaven wrote an entire book about it. (https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Life/dp/1455570249). The army insists that you make your bed every morning. Why? His assertion is that it sets you on a good path for the day. You set an easy goal - make your bed. You accomplish that goal first thing. That small accomplishment will (hopefully) lead to an attitude where you want to (and do) accomplish more.

There's a [book version too!] (https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249)

https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249/ref=cm_wl_huc_item

one small thing at a time.

https://smile.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

I love the advice he gives in his book, Make Your Bed. The other piece of advice that stuck out to me was: If you want to change the world get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward.

He wrote a book if anyone is interested. I bought it not too long ago: https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1521268559&sr=8-3&keywords=make+your+bed

Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World https://www.amazon.com/dp/1455570249/

I felt about the same at your age. It's amazing how much better life gets later. Granted, I do take an SSRI now, and they are not recommended for people your age. Do whatever you have to do to graduate from high school at the very least.

Start by making your bed. Get up and make your bed. And that one little act will help fuel you for the rest of it. Starting the day with that one accomplishment can set the tone for the rest of the day and provide motivation.

Don't assign too much importance to what other people think of you. You are you, you didn't choose to be you, you are playing the game with the hand you were dealt, which is all anyone can do. You got dealt a worse hand than some people and a better hand than some people. You have strengths and weaknesses. You have a good command of English, which will serve you quite well. Anyway, I see too many young people worrying too much about what too many other people think about too many things. It's nice that they have opinions, but so do you, and yours are just as valid. In a world of fools, a wise person appears foolish.

Be thankful for what you have. You are not in China or North Korea, where the boot of the government would be on your throat, telling you what you can do or say or think. You're free. You have access to the Internet. You are smart. One recipe for misery is to compare oneself to other people who seem to have it so much better. "If I only had so-and-so's life" "So-and-so has it made." That kind of comparison is absolutely pointless and can make a person miserable. It's so easy to just think about it in a different way. "Thank goodness I am not struggling with [whatever disease]." etc. Be thankful for what is good. Help other people if you can. That goes a long way towards lifting you up to a higher plane of existence.

I hope things will go better for you, you are doing the right thing to ask for help and advice. If you can go to a church, even if you are not Christian, a good church with a good pastor will have people who are taught to accept and love people unconditionally. At my church, we would welcome an atheist who just came for human contact and companionship.

Good luck, I hope you get some good advice from people here and make good decisions as a result.

Add to all the other good comments the observation that we don't always act in our own best interests so some ambiguity in life is "normal." If you have a few small goals you have a better chance of reaching them then if you have the heavy weight of major goals with an unrealistic timeline. First of all, make your bed. Discovered this years ago. Good book about it: https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249

Check out this book, change the world by first making your bed. It helped me. I haven’t changed the world yet, but my bed looks a lot better!

https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249

> I challenge the condescension style of the post I am not promoting any purity or holiness concept.

I read this differently:

>[Virgins] undergo a trial of humanity that some never face they the non virgins appease their weakness in others never facing an isolation

...

> But I will call the Virgin quite possibly the most tested emotionally as a human.

As for this:

> they just say be strong man up b.s.

I completely agree. Using sex to define the masculinity of a man is bullshit. It's a weak and arbitrary metric, and to drive that point, the same metric is sometimes applied to women to define how immoral they are. If we're going to give way to stereotypes, then why have men, who have apparently always wanted all the sex, worked so hard to shame women into avoiding sex at all costs?

If we didn't give any fucks about who fucked who, then there wouldn't be any virgins. No, not in the sense that everyone would have sex, but in the sense that the word would have served no purpose: to put value on women as objects that could be sold.

> self confidence can help you achieve things even if they are rejected for a sexual relationship

Again, I agree.

At the risk of projecting a little, I think that we often conflate a lack of sex with a lack of confidence. Confidence lets you ask people out. It lets you ask people for drinks, then over to your place. It's knowing that rejection doesn't mean you're the problem but that it's just a thing and it's not personal. It's being able to push through the possibility that rejection might happen and taking a chance to hear "ok, lets do the thing".

The reason I tell people to buy condoms is because it helped me become comfortable with seeing myself as a sexual object. The stigma around buying condoms for me wasn't that condoms were the stigma, or that sex was, but that seeing myself sexually felt weird. Getting past that barrier (heh) helped me to feel ready to say yes when the time was right - there was even one time where having condoms in my backpack absolutely came in handy.

But that sense of preparedness could translate to preparing for a vacation, having extra birthday/christmas/third day of Chaunukkah cards, or whatever. Being organized and being ready is adult. Want to see yourself as adult? Confident? Ready? You never know when the moment will come, so plan for it. Figure out what that means to you in the context of the things you want to be adult about: make your goddamn bed.

I highly recommend the following books:

[Make Your Bed - William McRaven](Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World https://www.amazon.com/dp/1455570249/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_kW-CAb5EC4KXD)

[Discipline equals freedom - Jocko Willink](Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250156947/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TX-CAbTVPW96J)

https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249