Reddit Reddit reviews Mate: Become the Man Women Want

We found 15 Reddit comments about Mate: Become the Man Women Want. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Books
Healthy Relationships
Self-Help
Dating
Mate: Become the Man Women Want
Check price on Amazon

15 Reddit comments about Mate: Become the Man Women Want:

u/corsega · 9 pointsr/slatestarcodex

Here's my cis-hetero-male perspective:

Resources

The previously-recommended Models by Mark Manson is fantastic.

I can also recommend Mate: Become the Man Women Want by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller. It does a great job applying evolutionary psychology to real-world dating concepts. I imagine SSC readers would enjoy it.

For someone seeking step-by-step, practical advice (in my case, I was practically autistic when it came to the actual ), I recommend Bang by Roosh.

Dating as a Market

I'm surprised how few people understand that dating (the sexual marketplace) is a fairly efficient market.

Each person has their own sexual market value (for men: Looks, Money, Status). To get more and better quality offerings in the market, there are only two options: increase your sexual market value, or go to a different market where you're valued more highly (example: older white men going to the Philippines).

I suspect that the source of frustration for many men is simply not knowing their own value within their city's market.

Interestingly, the explosion in popularity among online dating is making city dating markets much more efficient. Whereas before there was massive information asymmetry (people tended to date and have casual sex within their social circles, or the nearest bar), now, anyone can paste a profile online and immediately determine their value (i.e. number of matches) in the marketplace.

u/goingyourowngalt · 8 pointsr/amiugly

Yeah, learn how to smile. I’m serious—practice in the mirror every day and lean in on having photos taken of yourself (not selfies—stop taking selfies). You can’t get better if you are not seeing yourself like others do.

Shave your head. And by shave I mean tell your barber to do a “1” all over. It WILL BE WEIRD at first, but you have an advantage in that it looks like you are in pretty good shape. Keep that shit up.

Straighten your back and stick your titties out when you walk, I can feel your confidence deficit through the photos. Walk confidently and your attitude and demeanor will change. Ladies will notice (I’m serious, it works!)

When it comes time, talk to women like they are people with dreams, hopes, insecurities, and other feelings. Don’t lead with the “virgin til 20” business. Act like someone a woman would like to have coffee with.

Read “Mate” by Tucker Max (yes, that Tucker Max). It’s also coauthored by an evolutionary psychologist. There are incredible insights in the book. It helped me be more attractive to women and also helped me understand how to treat them better. Good luck!!!

Mate: Become the Man Women Want https://www.amazon.com/dp/0316375365/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_dZXKAb4PXBKPW

u/_spaceracer_ · 6 pointsr/WeListenToYou

I'll keep it as brief as I can. In order of (subjective) importance:

> I'm seriously afraid of being alone for ever. I know I'm young but I am just so tired of constantly trying with no success or even validation; only rejection.

Perhaps you'll find some solace in the fact that you are far from the only person to be experiencing this type of loneliness. The fact seems to be that we are not taught how to find mates, and society is not configured in a way to assist with this. If you've been frustrated because the girls you meet on Tinder or at the bar flake at the slightest moment then you aren't alone. Turn the tables in your favour - become more deliberate with your hunt for a mate. You'll find much more success. Rather than going on about it, I'll just point you at the best (of many) books I've come across on the subject. Stop playing this game blindly and learn how it really works.

If that sounds distasteful, treating dating like a project, then consider what you're going through right now. Consider how painful this experience is, and, if necessary, liken it to previous times you've experienced anything approximating heartbreak in a relationship. How long did it take to recover? How long will it take you to fully recover this time? A year? Two? Do you really want to gamble giant chunks of your life and mental health on an occasional, incidental and clearly failing process? You can do much much better, especially if you start working at it while you're young. Go read that book.

> I do agree that someone will need to cease being present. I've resolved to cease being friends with her. [...] I sent her a message explaining my feelings one more time, what I intend to do, and why.

Without hyperbole, this is the single most important sentiment you expressed. You have other friends right? People to support you? Cut her off as soon as possible. It isn't mean when it's self preservation.

> I am not good enough and apparently never was. Really I got friendzoned, but I went into it knowing that could happen and it did.

A good rule of thumb is the "hell yeah" rule. Would you date them? ("hell yeah!") Would they date you? ("well, uh, it's complicated..."). Hell yeahs all around is a good sign of a relationship worth investing in.

Again, good luck. Post again if you need to rant, and check out the discord server too. Lots of good people in this subreddit.

u/peter_n · 5 pointsr/malefashionadvice

Gonna jump in here just because as an asian dude I know this is a touchy subject that non-asians might not understand. It sounds like you don't have an "asian" problem, just a social awareness problem.

A couple of books I think you can benefit from reading:

Mate by Tucker Max and Geoffery Miller

Models by Mark Manson

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover

I also recommend listening to "The Mating Grounds Podcast" which was the precursor to the Mate book.

You have a lot of mindsets you have to unpack and work on. These books (and podcast), I guarantee you will transform your life, not just your dating life.

Best of luck

u/TheManInBlack_ · 3 pointsr/TumblrPls

Are any of you familiar with Dr. Gad Saad? He has a youtube channel, and one day he interviewed Geoffry Miller, who wrote this book..

Mate

I read it, it's pretty solid advice. Annnnyyyyway, I mention this because, several times in the book, he mentions how people (and thus women) subconsciously view a wide sitting stance as an assertion of dominance.


This would explain why they cry about it; they subconsciously feel like you're trying to assert power over them, even though you're really just minding your own damn business.

And of course they have to pretend that it only happens on crowded trains/buses, because even they know that complaining about someone sitting on an empty bus is flipping retarded.

u/EinarrPorketill · 2 pointsr/howtonotgiveafuck

You probably should GAF to an extent if you don't want to be a 40 year old virgin and die alone. HTNGAF is for social anxiety, not for giving up on what you want. Improve yourself. There's tons of books and resources on the internet about it. If you truly are hideously ugly, it's almost certainly because you don't take care if yourself well enough.

/r/nofap

https://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365

Etc

u/FedaykinII · 2 pointsr/Tinder

I'll be honest because I trust that's what you want.

Tinder is not for you.

Tinder is an Open Bar for girls. Your profile is the equivalent of a dixie cup of lukewarm water left on the floor.

You look like you have never done a push up in your life. You are wearing a Majoras Mask sweatshirt. The picture with the 'goofy' macro made me physically cringe. Do you smile ever? Where are pictures of you with friends doing fun things?

All Tinder will do is batter your self confidence when after a month you've swiped right 1000 times and matched only bots or fat chicks. You are far better off deleting Tinder and building an interesting life. You are only 20. And male. You should be in no rush.

[Buy this book. Do everything in it. Don't expect results in 6 months or even a year. Follow what this book tells you and when you're 25 you will be turning chicks away. You need to be fit, fashionable, and above all interesting. Your current pictures indicate the opposite.] (https://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365)

You are 5'6 and that will be a deal breaker for a lot of girls. Fuck them. I hope to god your major is STEM so that you're making 6 figures 3 years after you graduate.

TLDR - Delete Tinder. Focus on gradual, incremental, and above all sustainable self improvement over the next few years.

u/donquexada · 2 pointsr/OkCupid

Buy this book: http://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1457253736&sr=8-1&keywords=mate+book

I'm serious. Read it. Then read it again. And then start doing shit about your situation.

u/Micera · 2 pointsr/Denmark

Geoffrey Miller, en fyr der er førende indenfor udvikslingspsykologi, har lige udgivet en bog der svarer på alt du spørger om. Det skal dog siges, at det ikke bare er en hurtig løsning, men en længere process om at forbedre sig selv. http://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365

u/gregory_domnin · 2 pointsr/datingoverthirty

I have read Mate

https://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365

It is embarrassing to have read it but I found some of the exact same self help information in another book about controlling parents. I guess the good thing is I had also already done quite a bit of work the book recommended such as be in shape and take care of your mental health.

They had a podcast that had further recommended reading and advice such as

It's Not All About Me: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with
Anyone

https://www.amazon.com/dp/057809665X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_wstdzbP00CXWS

And taking improv comedy classes. All of which I have now done.

It really gave me a frame of reference I didn't have before. Very helpful in understanding not just romantic relationships but all relationships.

Seriously, you can just watch groundhogs day and get the gist of the book.

Edit: I heard about it through the Art of Manliness podcast. He did another one with another author who basically said stop reading self help books and just go out and have fun. I refuse to read another one.

u/r8ings · 1 pointr/Divorce

I had severe panic attacks when I had that conversation with my STBX wife in 2013. My first stop was a psychiatrist who got me on some medications that really helped. There's no good reason to suffer more than you have to.

Here are a few other recommendations:

Get an apartment that you like... It will make you feel better. It doesn't have to be a long-term decision. But have a place you feel good about.

Go to Ikea and get new stuff. Furnish your place. Use TaskRabbit liberally to do the shitty assembly stuff for you.

Get a therapist... you need someone to talk to. It may seem expensive, but remember, this is a 12-month or less situation.

Before you start dating, I recommend reading Tucker Max's new book, Mate, (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316375365/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0316375365&linkCode=as2&tag=tucmax-20&linkId=B42LME2RMHW7DM6E) or listen to his podcast, Mating Grounds. It helped me a ton.

When you feel like you're ready (i.e. when you genuinely reach a place where you hope the best for your ex), get on Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Happn, OkCupid, etc. and start meeting women for drinks. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Good luck.

u/SpaceIguana · 1 pointr/dating_advice

Also, worth checking out Mate by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller.

u/chaosdiver · 1 pointr/JordanPeterson

Please don't take advice from those forums, even if you want a one night stand.

I got into the "PUA" community when I was younger and their advice is 99% bullshit that won't actually help you. You end up taking in more information then you should and most of it BS and mental masturbation.

It wasn't until after I stopped taking their advice where I lost my virginity. Seriously, that community is filled with low life marketers targeting men with low self esteem.

Read this book, follow the advice, and your dating life should improve. It was written by an evolutionary psychologist (Geoffrey Miller) and Tucker Max.

It is also very much in line with the "sort yourself out" philosophy, you'll be given advice such as go to the gym, fix your diet, keep your place clean, etc.

https://www.amazon.ca/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499101708&sr=8-1&keywords=mate

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/amiugly

You're cool but you need to gain some weight and confidence.

So here's the plan:

  1. Head over to /r/gainit, look at some progress pics from skinny dudes gaining weight for inspiration. Create a meal plan, pick a fitness program you like and head over to the gym. Stick with it. It's not about motivation, but about discipline.

  2. Read this book. Despite the terribly cheesy title it's actually a great book about 'becoming the best version of yourself possible'.

    I'm in my 30s now and I wish someone would have told me these two things when I was younger.

    Ah also get a haircut. 6/10 for now but could easily become an 8/10.
u/super_thowaway · 1 pointr/seduction

Mate - Don't let the author or cover fool you. It's a serious book and actually written by the co-author. It looks at the evolutionary biology behind what women want and what men do. Before trying to figure out how to woo women, it helps to understand the differences in their motivations, needs, worries, and pressures.

https://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365