Reddit reviews Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

Good article. The "only boys really bully" narrative follows the same trend as we see with adults, only men are capable of doing bad things. Female bullying is quite similar to female domestic violence, it leaves no visible marks, but the wounds run deep inside.

I have a book in my "to buy" list about this :
Odd Girl Out

I just finished reading a good book that talks about that desire to take care of other people's feelings. It's called Odd Girl Out. So the book description says that it talks about girl bullying, but it isn't a "look how stupid and catty teenage girls can be!" book. It points out that we teach girls that they have to suppress all anger and constantly defer to other people's feelings without acknowledging their own. That in turn makes it difficult to form healthy friendships with people of any gender, and primes girls for unhealthy romantic relationships as well.

It helped me look back on the cattier girls in middle school and not see them through a misogynistic lens but rather through a "wow... that period of our lives probably sucked for both of us" lens. And it helped me release some anger and resentment I was holding in relation to that. And it helped me see where some of my fucked up habits in my earlier romantic relationships came from.

This book was a real eye opener when I read it fifteen years ago. Still relevant.

Odd Girl Out, Revised and Updated: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls