Reddit reviews On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society
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> I have heard it is common even for swat and infantry to choke up during their first time in a real life scenario.
You have heard correctly, and its usually a combination of training failure and that person's morality, at least insofar as the United States military is concerned. As far as SWAT goes, I have no knowledge of police training, so I can't speak to that.
Just as recently as World War II, only 15-25% of soldiers were willing to fire their rifles, although nowadays that number is over 90%, as the military has learned how to train people to kill.
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman wrote a fantastic book on this subject, entitled On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society - https://www.amazon.com/Killing-Psychological-Cost-Learning-Society/dp/0316330000/
Its worth a read if you're interested in the subject.