Reddit reviews Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds, Third Edition

I am so sorry this is so hard.

Here is an interesting article called that may help a bit:
"Parenting your strong-willed child".

Which I found when searching for this book: Parenting the Strong Willed Child

I have heard wonderful things about this book - seriously, it's been very helpful to a number of people I know who have intense kids.

EDIT: I've also heard good things about this one: Raising your spirited child

https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child-Clinically-Six-Year-Olds/dp/0071667822/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1480946225&sr=8-11&keywords=parenting+discipline+books

Never read it, but it seems to hit the nail on the head for you and has a good amount of high reviews.

My sister loved this one:

Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds, Third Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0071667822/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_MjX1DbEV5J560

Look, I'm usually over on Breaking Mom because I'm fairly nontraditional in my parenting. Why? Well, my youngest is exactly like yours.

No, you won't be able to go out in public quite yet - but practice things like short trips to the mall food court. Continue to model and explain good behavior, but don't expect any of it to kick in for a while. At 4.5 I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, but he does still smash his brother's lego creations regularly.

Read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child-Clinically-Six-Year-Olds/dp/0071667822

Use it to learn how to communicate effectively and set limits. In this case, I'd start locking him in his room or a bathroom (with the light on).
Expect him to throw things at the door and try to bang it down. Hold fast; after a few hours he'll get tired out. After, of course, he tries the 'I'm sorry'; the 'I'm so sad sobbing'; the 'Screaming at the top of his lungs'; etc. The next time it will.be.shorter. And then when you have to leave the room, ask him if he'll behave or if you need to lock him in the room to go deal with baby brother.

It is exhausting. It sucks. It is a battle of wills you don't want to fight. Consider removing the light fixture temporarily because if he falls off the table, then he'll learn, and it's not going to hurt him much (my two boys are 4 and 6). Kids like him have to experience things for themselves; being told that something will happen is not effective until it actually does.

Be prepared to start looking the other way at the playground. He'll test physical limits and you just have to trust that he's learning.

And yeah - other adults will talk. You'll grow a backbone. My kids are finally settling down and behaving, but according to my mother you'd think I was raising hellions by letting them run in the house (WTF else was I supposed to do to get their wiggles out?).

Lastly, make sure, as others have suggested, that he has a physical outlet ever day. I have my kids run laps in the hallway, I go through burpees/pushups/mountain climbers/jumping exercises with them; they have interactive wrestle time with mom or dad. When mine were 1 and 3 it was almost daily unless we could play outside.