Reddit reviews Raising Mixed Race (New Critical Viewpoints on Society)

>I'm also skeptical of, or at least biased against, the idea that my wife married me for social-status reasons. She's far from socially undesirable herself, and is smart enough to get into a medical specialty that'll allow her a far higher income than mine in a few years.

Just the fact that she has higher earning potential than you, solidifies my bias that Asian women marry for whiteness. Whiteness itself is social status is a racist world. A lot of the stories in this subreddit are of Asian women who had high status, marrying down for white men. Just this past month, there was this Ivy league-educated woman from an upper class family marrying a deadbeat cook. There's also this woman who had a masters degree and came from a wealthy Chinese family who was bankrolling her deadbeat white boyfriend who ended up killing her. The definition of internalized white supremacy that leads to WMAF means that Asian women will hold lower standards for white men, because having a white spouse and future white kids is something thats valued by these women. Yea, your case is not as extreme as the two I mentioned, but this is the racist world we live in that you benefit from as a white man.

For anyone who plans on having half-Asian kids, I will always recommend this book by Sharon H. Chang: Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World, and her talk. The author is hapa herself, married a hapa, and has a hapa son, and her book published last year is the most comprehensive work out there on mixed Asians. You should understand that your children will considered Asian by society, as dictated by white society, but they will struggle to identify as Asian too. They will have little to no representation, and as parents of hapas who are monoracial, you should educate yourself, instead of blindly believing myths like that your kid will not face racism, that people will not constantly be questioning your children's label to them to rank them in society based on how white or how Asian they look.

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466

tell them at an early age who they are, that they are mixed and they will be different. tell them that this this is ok and they don't have to be like everyone else

after that generally good parenting applies

no helicopter parenting, encourage physical exercise, instill good self discipline, don't stress on education too much, don't let schooling get in the way of education, let them find a passion and support it. do vaccinations.

Sharon Chang (a hapa) wrote a great book about raising half asian kids:

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1482567027&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=sharon+chang

She also has a blog here:

http://multiasianfamilies.blogspot.com/

This sub is a little crazy for everyone, pretty much TLDR: kids of white male and asian women deal with self esteem issues while growing up. While kids of white women and asian men usually don't.

> Now how many do you think would have seen us together and assumed I was fetishizing her and that she hated Asian men or whatever the suggestion is. Someone who applies those assumptions on the regular would have seen me with her, at a party or just walking down the street, buying groceries together, and just have that belief re-enforced, despite being wrong in this case.

I don't assume that.

> "Seems to be a trend" is a bit of a cop out, an apology to absolve one of the intellectually lazy, shallow, negative generalizations that are about to follow.

Wouldn't you say that it's a trend that the_donald is often transphobic or islamaphobic? There is a new dude from /r/the_donald saying they have a traditional wife but "will be well rounded kids with no identity issues." Maybe twice a week? If you don't believe me come join the sub. Do I think all white guys dating asian girls fetishize them? No. That would be grossly hypocritical. I have a white ex.

> but is anyone really benefiting from a conversation that seems to revolve around and reinforce these generalizations?

Is it radical to ask couple to analyze why they are together and to make sure it isn't because of internalized racism or fetish and to make sure it truly is of love? Better couples with internalized racism or fetish don't have kids. It's not a good home environment. Racist people are not competent to raise mixed race children. They will only make their children's lives miserable.

Who is benefiting, I would say future hapa kids who are born from the a toxic environment need people to relate to and become comfortable in their racial identity, it's one place you won't be othered for being hapa. I would say it's a community by hapas for hapas mainly.

Oh and it's also benefitting future parents. There have been several threads asking for advise to what people thought their parents got right and got wrong and how to help raise a healthy mixed kid. Making sure people have access to hapa representation and common mistakes is also important. These are great booksr on raising mixed race.

http://www.amazon.com/Part-Asian-100-Hapa-Fulbeck/dp/0811849597?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World (New Critical Viewpoints on Society) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138999466/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_xqp-wbGP6GQAV

I have heard good things about this new book about raising multiracial Asian children but it has a very strident tone. Also if your child asks about race discuss multiracial role models.

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466

Yep... I'd say you got about a 1/3 odds, depending on location, political views, empathy, cultural respect. You get those down, and there's a very high chance your kid will be fine. Fuck those up tho... and there's a risk they're going to get the answers to life's questions from somewhere else. Recommended reading: Raising Mixed Race by Sharon Chang. Get's to the heart of what you want. No "you're so progressive" fluff... just a nice distilled "what do I do with my biracial kid" book.