Reddit reviews Rape Is Rape: How Denial, Distortion, and Victim Blaming Are Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis

Similar situation here, where I thought it was my fault and couldn't get away from the rapist colleague.

This book helped me call it like it was: https://www.amazon.com/Rape-Distortion-Blaming-Fueling-Acquaintance/dp/161374479X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1522814884&sr=1-1&keywords=%22rape+is+rape%22

It reviews the definitions of rape and talks a lot about denial and victim blaming. Denial and victim blaming help us maintain the illusion that we live in a safe world in which people who behave well don't get raped. Nit picking victim behaviors and dress is a desperate grab for illusory shreds of safety and control.

This book helped me heal:
https://www.amazon.com/Resurrection-After-Rape-transforming-survivor/dp/0615209661/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522813967&sr=8-1&keywords=resurrection+after+rape

>Yes, but the difference here is that forty-two young men were mauled by bears for being jerks to a good guy... Giving people another chance, despite their wrong-doings?

They won't mauled for calling Elisha names.

Elijah was taken up in a flaming chariot. They knew that. Elijah and Elisha were well known in that area for decades proclaiming for people to repent of their sins. They knew that. Some of those young men may have even been from the community Elisha just cleaned the water from. Maybe all of them. Decades of sending prophets while these young men lived. A flaming chariot. A FLAMING CHARIOT. And Elisha, messenger of God, right in front of them. Guy, who helped a community just verses before. All these are second, third, and millionth chances. And they laugh at it. Elisha standing in front of them was there "another chance despite their" lifetime of "wrong-doings".

>Wait, wait, wait, you're a Christian and a feminist? That's like being a fan of Martin Luther King Jr. and a member of the KKK.

And we had a famous anti-zionist, former member of the US communist party, feminist as a speaker once! LOL. It was an amazing experience. This is a major reason why I believe there is a god. Only one with humour could architect a world as hilarious. I'll explain later how the Christian Feminist thing works.

>Have you read the entirety of the bible, sir? Or just Corinthians? 1 Corinthians 14:34 "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law."

Let's just ignore any disagreement I have in how you are interpreting that verse. I will point out that Paul is writing to Corinth, specifically to Corinth, that is having issues staying in one peace because of in-fighting and arguments and petty squabble. But please, going forward, we'll interpret that verse how you think.

Flip forward to Ephesians 5:25, another Pauline epistle, it says "Husbands love your wives like Christ loves the Church." And I'll add that Christ died for his church. Flip to Judges and Esther, we see women leading the jewish people. Flip around Paul's epistles and Acts, we see women being church leaders, but not pastors, in the church. My house flooded three weeks ago, so I forget if you need to go backwards or forwards in 1st Corinthians 14:34 where it says at home or elsewhere wives may ask as many questions as they want.

>Plus in Genesis, where it says that women should be ruled by their husbands.

I just want to point out, the Bible isn't that friendly to men either. It is horrible critical of Adam. Any sins a man's wife or children commit are reckoned on the man as well. Read that passage you are referring to in Genesis, it doesn't let husbands off the hook without reprise. "Women and Children first" to get off the sinking boat, men last. In one verse, a bunch of young men get mauled to death by two bears for making fun of a dude's haircut!

>Christianity and feminism simply don't mix. One is the belief that men and women are all equal, the other openly states that women should be ruled by husbands and deserve less rights.

3rd Wave Feminism does not assert that all men and women are equal nor deserve the same rights. They generally believe men and women are different and that women deserve superior rights.

Instead of repeating what you've probably heard my liberal friends say, that Christianity "openly states that women should be ruled by husbands and deserve less rights", have you bothered hearing what we believe? Find me that verse. Or maybe we read the scriptures in a way and don't come to that conclusion. And since its ours, we're allowed to read it how we read it.

Now for the whole Christian/Feminist thing. I read Feminist books, right now I'm reading "Rape Is Rape: How Denial, Distortion, and Victim Blaming Are Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis" by Jody Raphael. I recommend it. I read feminist blogs. I forward interesting posts to feminist friends. I talk to friends and they quote me on social media about how I think it is sexist that a super power anime character, who is female, is somehow dependent on a feeble lead male character (I was complaining to him for ten minutes and said that show bothered me too much to continue watching). I also read Christian apologetics books and blogs and videos. Right now I'm reading Dr. James White's and Jeff Niell's "The Same Sex Controversy: Defending and Clarifying the Bible's Message About Homosexuality". Get smaller titles guys! It's just a coincidence they are both about sex. Usually I read about textual criticism. I don't recommend that book. It's alright but so far it is no no where near the quality of some of White's other material (arguments' pacing are too fast).

I'm a Christian and not a feminist. I disagree with 3rd wave feminists. A lot. A lot. Like not a little, a lot.

I'm not a feminist, I'm a complementarian. A non-legalist complementarian like many Christians. That's why feminist and I get along together. We both think that society does awful and exploitive things to women. It disturbs me that 100% of the people at my daughter's daycare, including the clerical staff and franchise owner, are women. Society says "yeah women, you can work. Get out of the house and be strong." *cough*, now we'll discourage you from going into STEM fields and disportionately push you into childcare fields, early childhood education, nurses, psychology and worthless majors at expensive schools. Rape culture bugs me. Men openly treating women as sex objects bothers me.

Breaking down what a non-legalist complementarian is. Legalism means not allowing exceptions to secondary or tertiary issues. Non-legalists say that exceptions on non-primary issues are ok. Complementarians believe that men and women have identical rights and freedoms. That both genders are equally made in the image of God, unlike the puritans who believed that God had multiple images in his mind when he created us in it. While we believe in equal rights and freedoms, we believe in different duties. What you would consider a difference in freedoms (husband works, wife at home, only male pastors), we see as different life callings (duties). Again, exceptions are ok. Complementarians believe men complement women (and they deserve it) and women complement men. We are equal but different and those differences highlight the beauty of humankind. Those differences are why we believe that women, generally, are better for some tasks and men others. And vice versa.

>So our attributes come from God? What about hatred? Selfishness?

All those attributes are good and we misuse them. Perhaps you are different than I am but when a cop executes a black teenager and the grand jury says "Nah, this guy won't even see a trial", that angers me. I don't think that's wrong, I hope you don't think being angry at injustice is wrong either. But we, I, misuse that anger. What was a good trait, I often use as a bad trait (some would say the trait itself is neutral and our usage is good or bad but when left non-annotated the trait is understand to be used in a bad way)

Our attributes come from god, but we misuse them.

>And why is it not on him that you're autistic?

About the autism, I'd really like to hear more of your life story than mine if you don't mind sharing it in PMs or emails. I'm not going to ask for it on a (very) public form. So I'll just keep leaking mine.

From a theological prospective, humanity is what brought defects into itself. So humanity is to blame for the autism. Despite that, God used that autism for good.

My daughter's maternal grandfather has Aspergers. We talk weekly. See eachother bi-weekly. Randomly, we continue talks from years ago without notifying the other and don't miss a beat. It creeps out onlookers when we do that. Other autistic people collect stamps or stack blocks when they were little. Mine was to catalogue my brain.

Long story short, God used that bizarre memory and my hatred of having inconsistencies in my catalogued brain to lead me to him. And God has used it for good in other ways. Innumerable ways. How has society used this? The endless boredom, the never being full or satisfied with food, the almost constant thinking in my head, the inability to understand social norms despite years of conscious effort, the inability to place myself in the past, the fact I can't look at a mirror because I don't recognize myself, and other issues, they've not a fault in autism. They don't come directly from my autism. They're a fault with society. If you're not a square peg, society tries to hammer you in anyway and doesn't care about the damage it causes. You know this all too well.

Two year old kid just sits and looks at block? Gotta get a psychologist to teach him nice and young something is wrong with him and that he better play with 'em blocks. My daughter's 10-year-old aunt is autistic and used to be regularly reminded when she was young that she was different and defective and would never be the same as other, normal, kids by a parent. I've been called diseased. And our families were the nice ones. When I graduated university, at least two companies wouldn't hire me because of my autism. At school my definition of a friend was those who tolerated my differences. I didn't have many friends.