Reddit reviews Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macram
We found 11 Reddit comments about Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macram. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
First and foremost, hello and welcome.
Secondly, this is our media subreddit, which is for published media relating to BDSM. Our discussion subreddit is located at /r/BDSMcommunity, and you should post future discussions there for a wider audience. It should not be necessary to resubmit this post, though. I also highly recommend you spend all the time you have available devouring our FAQ over at /r/BDSMfaq.
> My girlfriend recently read 50 shades of grey and decided she would like to try a dom/sub sexual relationship.
You should both be aware that the relationship depicted in 50 Shades of Grey is not a healthy BDSM relationship. It is thought that Anna lacks agency and consent, and doesn't engage in kink for herself, but just to be with him. For his part, Christian is regarded as heavily manipulative of her (and everyone else around him), a stalker, and a bit of a sociopath -- but he's rich and good looking so that works for him, I guess. You can learn more about 50 Shades from a BDSM perspective by checking out The Curious Kinky Person's Guide to 50 Shades of Grey.
> The first time we tried this, I bound her hands with a tie, blindfolded her, and just generally had my way with her.
I should caution you, as someone who is extremely interested in bondage, that ties are not the best bondage implements. In fact, they're pretty poor. For one, they have very short lengths typically, which doesn't give you a lot of options for ties. For two, they have very small diameters typically, which makes them require more wraps around a column to distribute pressure safely (and you've already got less length to do the wrapping). Finally, they are usually made from material that is very slippery and prone to hold knots so tight that you cannot untie them. These are terrible properties of bondage rope!
You should get some 6mm - 8mm (which is equivalent to 1/4" and 3/8" respectively) diameter rope in either cotton, nylon, or hemp (jute is similar but more expensive). Cotton is the cheapest and easiest to get a hold of. You will want 15 feet to 30 feet lengths. Most people find shorter lengths are too short to do much with, and longer lengths are far too long to work with effectively. Besides, you can always join ropes together to extend them should you fall short.
> I honestly really enjoyed being the dom.
That's great to hear! You should probably, being recently vanilla, take a read through BDSM for Nice Guys. They also have a nice selection of BDSM scenarios which should give you lots of ideas.
> We're looking to continue this type of sexual relationship but are unsure of our limits, what all we might be into, what we could even try. Any suggestions in exploring this?
This feels like my specialty, having fielded such questions in great volume in the last few days.
You should spend some time going through mojo upgrade, a BDSM checklist, and/or exploring the human sex map together with google/urban dictionary for things you don't know about.
Basically, you need to figure out which kinds of activities interest and excite your partner, which kinds of activities your partner is disinterested in, and which kinds of activities your partner absolutely does not want any part in. You should also figure out these same things for yourself!
Finally, go slowly, communicate, communicate, research, still more communication, and when you're done with that, communicate some more. You can always add in more later, but it is very difficult to "take back" things once they have gone too far.
Speaking of that, if you haven't already, you should definitely establish a safeword. One thing 50 Shades does have going for it is that they correctly represented the traffic light system of safewords which most everyone is familiar with. A very popular non-traffic light word is pineapples. Finally, unless you intend to actually engage in consensual non-consent (aka rape-play), there is no reason you should ignore words like "stop", "no", or "don't". If you do plan to devalue such words, using a safeword is imperative!
Here's my basic bondage spiel, should you be more interested in that.
Please check out our bondage basics article in /r/BDSMfaq. It is very informative and will say much of what I say here.
Depending on what you are looking to get into, I would highly recommend the following books, in no particular order:
For websites, you should most definitely check out Twisted Monk's video tutorials and the Two Knotty Boy's downloads. Rope specific subreddits include /r/shibari and /r/kinbaku.
For general knot-tying information, I like animated knots by grog, and of course your favorite search engine. Learning the basic terms can help you a lot, and if you really get interested in knots and rigging in general there's always /r/knots and sailing related stuff.
The New Topping Book - For good general Dom knowledge
The New Bottoming Book - For good general Sub knowledge
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction - Nice Intro Book
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns - Another good book into BDSM
Two Knotty Books: Showing You the Ropes - Good knot book
Two Knotty Boys: Back on the Ropes - Another good knot book
Erotic Bondage Handbook - Another knot book
Shibari You can USe - Book on Shibari knots
Videos on knots - TwistedMonk
Twisted Monk has some videos that might help you.
Rope-topia
Two Knotty Boys Theres a lot of videos on here.
I have this book, Shibari you can use, and I really love it. It has fantastic directions and photos for tying knots.
Hope that helps a little :)
Learn to tie rope properly and safely please and thank you.
Books that may help:
Okay!
so basically we have a number of "schools" of bondage.
Japanese (Shibari) http://fineartamerica.com/images-simple-print/images-medium-private-5/the-japanese-shibari-rope-master-gianni-silvanus.jpg
Knotty boys - pretty knots and some stuff you can use (but mostly pretty)
Rope clothing: http://www.kybari.com/nouveautes/images/Julie%20Dalcq%20-%20Paques.jpg
and fusion which mixes the Japanese stuff with something that is generally considered more European.
For Japanese style i would recommend http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/061514490X/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=2HX638Q3DCS2T&coliid=I2A4P5MKCD0QHX
I can't advice on other styles so well.
Just for the sake of reference... books I recommend are:
General Bondage:
Shibari:
I've been hit with the, "I don't want to have to tell you what to do." response in the past. In fact, my last D/s relationship, fell apart because of that statement. I'm not sure if it was because I wasn't asking the right questions or because I wasn't asking them the right way. At this point it doesn't really matter.
I agree with gamer_grl for the most part. You have the start of a good communication base. What you need is a stronger foundation. My suggestion is that you change the way you are asking for information. Don't ask what she wants you to do, ask what she likes and start doing research. If its something like flogging or whips find a local resource to learn from, for rope I suggest Shibari You Can Use and Two Knotty Boys. There's also a very, in my opinion, dry book out there called SM101 that has a lot of very good and useful information.
Use those discrete/accidental search bar pages as a starting point and start doing research. Sadly the internet is a horrible place for most of that. The information has a tendency to be inconsistent and hard to locate through all the bad porn.
Don't forget that you will also need to figure out what you like while you're at it. Otherwise remember to play safe, take your time, and don't freak out over little mistakes. They are going to happen, and we all make them.
> shibari
Heres a book on amazon about it. Totally G rated btw
https://www.amazon.com/Shibari-You-Can-Use-Japanese/dp/061514490X
One of my favorites.
And another real good one.
And one of the classics.
Shibari you can use by Lee Bridget Harrington
Link: http://www.amazon.com/Shibari-You-Can-Use-Japanese/dp/061514490X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1301544279&sr=8-1
Very good book, I use it a lot in conjunction with the Two Knotty Boys books