Reddit reviews Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners
We found 9 Reddit comments about Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Health Communications
You might want to look up emotional incest. What you are describing is not healthy for either of you.
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/emotional-covert-incest-when-parents-make-their-kids-partners-0914165
https://www.amazon.com/Silently-Seduced-Parents-Children-Partners/dp/0757315879
Everybody in this thread seems to be jumping to "she's fucking her dad!" However, she doesn't have to be fucking him for it to be an unhealthy and incestuous relationship. Hell, they don't even have to be having any sexual contact. Look up the book Silently Seduced. It's all about covert incest, which is basically having a sexual undertone to the interactions between parent and child. A lot of the people who experience this only realize that there is a problem once they become adults and are attempting to have normal sexual relationships with their partners.
Your girl exhibits a lot of the red flags they talk about in this book. First, her mom and dad have a rough relationship, which is probably why she's the one that goes out with him for 'dates.' But putting a child into the partner role of a parent is extremely emotionally damaging. Second, you said that she is sexually adventurous, which may be because she feels that she was sexualized at an early age. Of course, she might just be sexually adventurous, as plenty of people are.
Honestly, she may not even now that this is a form of incest. She probably thinks that she's just "daddy's little girl." Other people have mentioned that she might be dropping hints because she wants you to bring it up, but she also just might not think that this is at all abnormal. I definitely think that you should talk to her about this, but make sure you don't bring it up in an already charged situation (fight, sex, etc.).
Honestly, I wish you both luck. Hopefully you can help her start to make these connections so that she can take the steps she needs to deal with this. As a 22 woman who is close to her parents in a completely healthy way, this is not normal and you're right to be uncomfortable.
Yes, yes, yeeees sigh.
A book that might speak to you:
Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0757315879/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_fT-0Db8KSFAGY
I'd imagine you've already seen this book, but I wanted to leave it as a resource for anyone who relates to your comment. I read it many times and it was incredibly valuable to me in helping make sense of having been my parents' rescuer. It's called, Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners.
I love that podcast! It's my support group. ;) This is the amazon link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/Silently-Seduced-Parents-Children-Partners/dp/0757315879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522978196&sr=8-1&keywords=silently+seduced
That is all really disgusting and horrible - I'm truly sorry you had to go through with that. My narcissistic and abusive father also had habits of walking around the house nude and crossing sexual/personal boundaries in really uncomfortable ways.
A term that might be useful to connect you to resources is "emotional incest" and/or "covert incest" - I'll link some articles below. The subject of the first interview, Kenneth Adams, wrote an excellent book on the topic that a lot of people consider a very definitive resource for people who have had these experiences.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Silently-Seduced-Revised-Updated-Children/dp/0757315879/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=58719572088&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI883Q07GH4gIVbr7tCh3n8wX6EAAYASAAEgKp_PD_BwE&hvadid=259028528520&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045804&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t1&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3250100525893558593&hvtargid=kwd-354528519287&hydadcr=24402_1748874&keywords=silently+seduced&qid=1557162314&s=gateway&sr=8-1
I'm reading this currently (Silently Seduced When Parents Make Their Children Partners). Covers covert incest. Psychodynamic perspective. Might be of interest.
I really liked The Everything Guide to NPD just to give me an idea of what the whole thing was, plus books about emotional incest. That topic focuses a lot on boundary issues, which was a big problem in my family. The ones I've found useful are The Emotional Incest Syndrome and Silently Seduced. These three books were all recommended by my therapist, but if you have one, he or she could probably recommend others!
It's a late response, so I'm not going to include my story, but I'm in pretty much the same boat.
I'm reading 'The Emotional Incest Syndrome: When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life' very slowly because it hits pretty close to home and I end up ruminating if I read too much at one time.
I also have this one on my bookshelf (well, under the mattress) that I haven't started yet, 'Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners' so I can't vouch for it yet.
Hopefully, one, or both, of these might help you out.