Reddit reviews Supernanny: How to Get the Best From Your Children

This is going to sound a bit judgey, but I don't mean it that way at all, just thinking about things I have encountered.
My eldest rends to lose out on the attention from me the most, my husband works 12 hour days and sees them for 15 mins a night so he doesn't pick up any slack.
I began to notice he would be a hellish little shit, really to get attention, largely because he must of been thinking "any attention is good attention" even if it was me screaming at him.
Our relationship became quite strained, but I had to get over it and just kind of force myself to give him attention regardless of how much resentment I had built up around him being a shit.
I read lots of books and things about this, its about changing their behaviour through yours. The best I found was Nanny Jo Frost:
http://www.amazon.com/Supernanny-Best-From-Your-Children/dp/1401308104
I hope it all works out, its a terribly vicious circle and you end up feeling guilty and more angry at them. It hurts, but it can be sorted.

I found supernanny's book and the videos of her dealing with kids very helpful. Particularly the step-by-step procedures leading to naughty corner as consequence, the tone of authority, the firm eye-level presence/posture.

Kids around 2-3 years can be maddening. Those tantrums... My wife and I were fairly exasperated when my kid was around that age. Not sure what buddhist stuff I can say here, well maybe - time passes, just as with all things else.

Soon your kid will grow up. And it generally gets better at about age 4 when their brains develop some sort of 'self-control'. And still they continue to grow, and soon, wow...

> A little bratty, especially towards me because she knows I can't punish.

You need to have a conversation with your sister about this. You're the child's uncle, and you're living with them. Of course you should be able to punish when necessary.

Approach your sister. Apologize for some of the disconnect between you and her about your niece. But let her know that you are very concerned because the niece show you no respect, and you're confident that it's because the niece knows you're not permitted to discipline her (do NOT use the word "punish"). And repeat to her what /u/joantheunicorn said: consistency is key. Tell your sister that the niece isn't stupid--she knows that she can get away with a lot more shit because you're not allowed to punish.

Make an investment in some Supernanny books (or DVDs, if you can find them; there's also some of her stuff on Youtube). Read them. Watch the videos. Watch them with your sister, if possible. Make it clear that you're trying to learn how to properly discipline so that you don't lash out at your niece. And always frame it in terms of what's best for the niece.