Reddit reviews The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook (Sourcebooks)
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I am very sorry to hear about that, your experience is the opposite of what should happen and it really sickens and saddens me.
We got aware of our system about a year ago, our abuse was mainly caused by our father aswell. We spent long time in denial, infact we still get in denial sometimes. How ever the more I've gotten to know myself, better our communication has gotten, and more accepting I have been towards ALL the parts, more whole and strong I have felt.
When we get depressed about the past, or worried about the future, we remind ourselfs how lucky we are; we get to experience childlike joy about things, and its definatly not only a bad thing to feel like a teenager every now and then
We will never be alone
It really must suck the therapist broke your trust like that, but dont let it prevent yourself from getting help, can you live a good life without therapy? Maybe, I cannot answer that for you, but we know we tried to deal with everything by ourselfs way too long before getting help, only to realize we do deserve and need it.
Now it might take a while to find a good therapist, meanwhile, knowledge is power, I highly suggest the two following books;
https://www.amazon.com/Dissociative-Identity-Disorder-Sourcebook-Sourcebooks-ebook/dp/B006B7LORY?crid=1EDLIHIN9K5UB&keywords=dissociative+identity+disorder&qid=1536309996&sprefix=dissoci&sr=8-4&ref=mp_s_a_1_4
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748?keywords=trauma+book&qid=1536311130&sr=8-1&ref=mp_s_a_1_1
Now they are not something you should read in a day. Or something you can read in a day. I spent months myself, sometimes only reading a page at the time, but they both provided me with alot of information that really helped me.
Also, try journaling, for us its been an amazing way to communicate, for start it was a bit scary, but inner communication is the key
All of your alters togeather with you make you
All of them are capable of learning and growing
Every one of them is there for a reason
Give them the love and understanding you would had deserved as a little, and not only the little ones, the angry ones too