Reddit reviews The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex.

I know three women who have read this and each was at different points in their lives age and relationship-wise. They all reported that it helped them feel less uptight about sex. Just an idea.

Does she come from a conservative religious background? If yes, then this is completely "normal".

If yes, she would benefit from reading The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex.

> I think she feels guilt over doing anything sexual

This is one of the most damaging parts of the Purity Movement. It (mostly unintentionally, I hope) tends to ascribe all sexual thoughts and feelings as Dirty, and leaves people full of shame and guilt over natural human feelings.

The worst part: Getting married will not change this feeling of guilt. It has to be dealt with, confronted, changed. Maybe seeing a pastor will help, but many of them will just want to reinforce the "You're not married yet, stay pure" vibe, and virtually none will want to get into actual issues of sexuality and shame.

A psychologist should be the better support person, but they unfortunately don't have the spiritual authority (in the mind of the shamed) to pardon the religious side of the shame.

It took my wife over a decade of intentional work to get past it. Sometimes it still crops up. I fight it some, too, but because I rejected everything related to Christianity for a time before coming back, I was always more ready to throw out the "from people" issues of religion when they were harmful.

What you can do:

• Start reading books on married sexuality now. I'd start here and here and here. I've heard this one may be decent for her, but can't speak to it personally.
  
• Start talking through what sex will look like when you are married at the end of the year. If this doesn't get awkward and, uh, warming, you are not doing it right.
  
• Ask her how she thinks the guilt feelings will change after the ceremony. Talk through how to start to confront the feelings now so that your wedding night is the bliss she probably imagines. Ask what you can do to facilitate that, and be prepared to do things that are difficult for you.
  
• Be prepared for it to take a while. It's ok if it does. Remind yourself that physical intimacy is just one layer of this relationship, and that the others matter. And know that making the other layers of intimacy stronger will help with the physical intimacy.

This book has helped numerous religious people I know, LDS and not, better understand and accept the role of sexuality in a marriage.

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex.

You may want to check it out.

My wife and I still grapple with the issues you describe, but the advice in this book really did help.

This might help: :)

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310334098/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_kj-NBbD8TAYQV