Reddit reviews The Guide to Getting It On! (The Universe's Coolest and Most Informative Book About Sex)

Other people have already said some of these things, but I'm going to write my whole opinion all in one place.

First, you are brave for reaching out! If you aren't into sex or sexy things, talking about it can be incredibly awkward. Being willing to ask is an awesome first step. One that note, if you are bookish, try buying some cheap books off of amazon that talk about this stuff. I know I always like learning from books. I think I read The Guide to Getting it On while I was in college and found it very useful.

Second, like some people have said, take some time to get to know your body naked. Run you hands across your boobs, down your sides, and along your sides. Also, get to know your vulva/vagina. It might help to grab a mirror and just see what's down there. (I'm totally serious.) If you don't shave or trim, consider cutting some of your hair off so you can get a better look. And make sure it's clean. Then try gently stroking your lips, hood, clitoris to see what feels good.

Third, buy yourself a vibrator. I would recommend something like the Silver Bullet because it's cheap and is clit focused (you probably don't need one meant for penetration yet, but to each her own.) Once again, just play around with it and see what feels good.

Good luck! Have fun! Be self-indulgent, this is all about finding what about you feels good to you.

This book is the best sex guide out there. I would suggest getting it, if you two are in it for the long haul. But for some real truthful advice: many women do not get off vaginally. She may need some clitoral or anal stimulation (like, pressing your thumb on her anus, or if you two have anal sex, putting a finger in there, or a sex toy).

As for clitoral stimulation, this is easier than it seems; it's really quite easy for you to rub her clitoris while having sex--in most positions. Can I ask, have you two tried various positions? If not heres a great website with tons of positions that stimulate various parts/zones of the vagina, etc.

Hope this helps!!!

Book recommendations!

I still have The Guide to Getting it On. Got it 5 years ago and love it.

I was pretty good about educating myself on that topic, thankfully. It started with my mother's books. In addition to having a ton of sci-fi and fantasy novels, some of her books had pretty explicit sex in them.

Which is pretty much not at all a practical way to learn anything, as it's usually as much fantasy as the dragons and shit.

But that gave me an appetite to learn more, and my parents gave me a lot of autonomy, so while I was at the book stores buying more sci-fi and fantasy books, I also picked up all kinds of erotica anthologies, books of erotic photography, and then eventually sex manuals. This one, while out of print apparently, was the best one I ever read. Very positive, and covers all sorts of things beyond straight vanilla activities. I'm sure there are more books just as good, if one looks around.

These days, there are some good podcasts. I like Sex Nerd Sandra. If someone is relatively new to this stuff, then the list of topics on her podcast can be daunting, but you don't have to listen to them all at once. Pick one that covers something you're curious about and start there. I like that she occasionally covers things like how to have a conversation about STD's before getting busy, but also suggesting how people can have fun anyway, as long as they know the facts about whatever STD is at issue.

Most of all, don't just depend on porn to teach you because, although titillating, it's not real, practical, or even necessarily fun to do the things depicted. Go out and find legitimate sex-positive information.

Followed you in from another thread.

Just wanted to leave this here.

It's good that you are concerned –- women frequently take a while to warm up. Try and help her relax. When you get to having sex you might wish to go slow and take a very long time.

Notice the color and size of her vaginal lips; often it is possible to notice a change of color and fullness as she gets more aroused. You might also be able to notice a change in the amount lubrication as well. Consider using sex toys like a vibrator. And stimulate other parts of her body such as her nipples, areola and other erogenous zones.

It's often good for her to work on her Orgasms in isolation, rather than as part of intercourse. (You of course, can help if she is comfortable with that). Help her masturbate and learn more about her body. Websites like Betty Dodson's can provide additional information. And good books like The guide to getting it on!

Lastly, offer your assistance, but don't make it that big a deal, it is her body, and she is the one who is responsible for her orgasm. You'll want to be careful not to create a pressure on her to have an orgasm as that will often prevent it.

SFSI Staff

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San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI) provides free, confidential, accurate, non-judgmental information about sex and reproductive health. You can reach us by e-mail ([email protected]) or by phone (415-989-SFSI).

Guide to Getting it on

shit is awesome

I have seen this book recommended here.

Received and enjoyed The Guide to Getting It On. Actually, I am going to a wedding on Saturday and I think I will pick this up for the happy couple.

I think my favorite sex related book would have to be The Guide to Getting it On. A friend showed it to me in high school and I keep one now as reference. It's also pretty easy to read and is actually pretty funny.

It might be a little too rudimentary for your usage, but it covers the gamut from vaginal sex to breathplay (which it says is a big no).

Like honeybadger mentioned, communication is really important. One thing I think people can have a hard time communicating about is, as was also mentioned, sex. It's hard to learn how to tell your SO, this position hurts, or I'm on my period and don't want anything except a hot shower. I would recommend some books, I really like "The Guide to Getting it On" (http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Getting-Universes-Coolest-Informative/dp/1885535104) and you could try out a sex position of the day calendar. Can also have fun shopping for lingerie together (or just get some, he'll probably like it no matter what) and just, things to keep it fun in the bedroom. Books and games are great because they push you out of your "same old, same old" routine.

This was amazingly helpful for two virgins going at it for the first time....

The Guide to Getting it On is a good read, lot's of interesting stuff in there.