Reddit reviews The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition

I thought this was a really useful book for advice on dealing with toddler meltdowns: http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377481709&sr=1-1&keywords=happiest+toddler+on+the+block

Basic advice is that your first reaction when a toddler starts a tantrum is to mirror back to them what you think they are feeling in language simple enough for them to understand and with enough emotion to communicate that you really get how upset they are. Basically, it's "active listening" - a technique used by professional mediators and psychologists, among others. It works on people of every age. The idea is to convince them that they have been heard, so they will be more open to hearing what you have to say.

Also, my advice for a working woman coping with a period of SAHMhood: get out of the house as much as possible. The day goes faster and problems seem more trivial when you are out and about. Yes, I know it is a hassle to take them both out. I have twins. It can be done!

We liked The Happiest Toddler on the Block series.

https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422

If it were me, I'd stop using time out unless she's breaking a rule. If whining is against the rules in your house that's one thing, but putting her in time out because she's upset about something seems counterproductive.

Happiest Toddler on the Block is a book. I liked it. It didn't revolutionize anything here at the Snow household but it did give me a better way to empathize with what Toddler_Snow was going through.

I'd read a few parenting books just to see the spread of advice, and then do your best. How are you going to raise the child? Attachment parenting? Let them cry it out? If it is a boy, please don't circumsize http://www.nocirc.org/ . Breast feeding or formula? Organic baby food?

Some links:


So you don't go crazy listening to Barney CD's - http://kidsmusicthatrocks.blogspot.com/

Cool stuff for geeks and non geeks - http://www.parenthacks.com/

The Parent Experiment Podcast. Not your mom and dad's parenting show. Very funny with a bit of swearing. Talk about real issues (not just candy-coated ones). Different guest every week - http://www.adamcarolla.com/TPEBlog/

Haven't read this but it looks interesting - http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248233102&sr=1-4

To answer the question you actually asked, I'd say your husband has unrealistic expectations of 2yo behavior. And of people's emotional needs more generally--if you were upset and crying, would he send you to your room alone until you stopped? At that age, kids can't control themselves, their emotions, or their behavior, so we have to help them learn how to do so: sending them off alone isn't doing that; it's showing them that having big emotions is unacceptable.

Harvey Karp's Happiest Toddler on the Block was really helpful. I didn't like the bedtime/sleep section, but the rest is great. Might be a useful read for your husband, in terms of explaining toddler psychology?

(And I agree that your son is likely overtired and perhaps hungry by the time you pick him up. My toddler had frequent (daily) tantrums as soon as I picked him up from school/sitter, until I figured out that he had low blood sugar and started bringing snacks along and loading him up in the car. That helped a lot.)

I'm not sure if you have heard of Happiest Baby On the Block, by Dr. Harvey Karp, but that has helped me with my newborn and her sleep habits. You mentioned that your LO is 14 months old, so it might not work for you, but he also wrote another book called Happiest Toddler on the Block (http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Toddler-Block-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422) . I haven't read this one yet, but maybe there is advice in there that can apply to your situation.

I'm really sorry for what you are going through, and I hope it resolves itself soon. Good luck.

He may be getting to the upper age limit for this, but I highly recommend the happiest toddler on the block by Harvey Karp. By the way, ignoring him may be somewhat effective in the short term, but could lead to resentment and other underlying emotional issues down the road.

Check out The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

(You can preview it on Amazon)[http://www.amazon.com/dp/0553384422]

It's been a huge help with our 18 month old and tantrums.

Sounds good. FYI, I highly recommend "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Toddler-Block-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343327766&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+toddler+on+the+block

I does a great job of explaining to talk "toddlerese". There is also a DVD they made if you want to watch examples.

I also recommend signing. In addition, check out The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

I've been wanting to pick up this book for my own little. There are some very inexpensive used copies!

For your tiny turtles, I recommend the Encyclopedia Brown books. They were my absolute favorite at that age. They're really fun detective books that encourage critical thinking skills while improving reading! Check them out; they won't be disappointed!

I’m reading a book right now called [The Happiest Toddler on the Block] (www.amazon.com/dp/0553384422/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9dfLAbT9RXDNY). It’s helping me to better understand my son’s developmental stages and how to help him grow into an emotionally conscious person. One thing I’ve learned is the art of listening, not just telling him “no” all the time. My wife is a kindergarten teacher and highly recommends it.

I highly, highly recommend the books Happiest Baby on the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp. That man is the goddam baby whisperer and I partially credit him for helping us have a baby who was always really happy, content and secure.


Another thing is that I think your relationship with your wife is THE most important aspect of you two parenting together. Make sure you put you guys first (reasonably of course) and work as a fluid unit.

Have you had her hearing tested? My speech therapist recommended this website, although I haven't personally examined it. Do you think that she might be trying to speak, but has a hard time pronouncing the words? If this is the case, then focusing on simplifying the words is best. For example, grapes is hard to understand and difficult to scaffold because you would go apes-rapes-grapes. So I taught my boys uvas, the Spanish word. We did Vas, then uvas. They picked it up in one session.

Sign language can also help with this. My autistic son's words are very garbled and using the sign language helps me figure out what he's sayin and then build on that. For example, when I wanted to get them to say please regularly last month, I taught them the sign and the word at the same time. My son pronounced it as "me/mease" first and, if it wasn't for the sign, I probably wouldn't have recognized "me" as an attempt at please.

You can also use sound effects. Sound effects count as words and they are much easier to get kids to copy. For example, when they were interested in a violin, I made up a sign and a sound. I'd say, "Violin, wee-ooh" and do the sign. They now call violins wee-oohs. Kitty's were "meow", horses are "neigh", etc. The speech therapist taught me this and makes a little noise and action with all the vehicles (both boys love vehicles).

Exposing them to multiple speakers, especially young children, also really helps. Both of my boys pick up more words when they are around other young children saying those words. Siblings can sometimes end up harming speech if they speak for each other, but stranger children can help a lot. Try to have a bunch of different people say the words.

Are you using Don't statements when you correct your child? 21 months is still young and it's very possible she's not fully understanding you. Instead of saying, "Don't climb on the table", say "Please sit in the chair." If she's looking at you while misbehaving, or runs away laughing then that doesn't sound like autism because she's doing it for your reaction. My son has a NT twin who is very stubborn and loves to get negative attention when I'm not giving him enough attention.

Most studies don't show spanking to be an effective form of punishment, so that's probably also contributing. Check out Happiest Toddler on the Block for tips on how to give her lots of positive attention.

No one has recommended "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp.... so I will! Teaches you all about the psychology of a toddler so you can understand how to prevent tantrums and how to calm them down when they happen. It's written in a kind of silly way (the whole thing uses the analogy of toddlers being like cave men), but I think it's worth a look.