Reddit reviews The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook for Men

Ah, anal hygiene. Once again, I have to consult Dr. Stephen Goldstone's The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook for Men.

A few points:

• I would not recommend douching your anus. Doing so before sex can lead to the residue spilling out during sex, causing a very nasty mess.
  
  
• Definitely do not use enemas, as it can lead to severe constipation and, in severe cases, cause you to become dependent in order to pass fecal matter.
  
  
• With both enemas and douching, it's difficult to get all the fluid out before sex and before another bowel movement. Because of this, you're either going to have done it for nothing, and/or make your sexual activity less clean than if you had done nothing due to the colonic contractions caused by a penis ramming into your asshole forcing the liquid out.
  
  Gross! So what should you do?
  
  
• All you should do is to gently clean the outer area of your anus, like you would normally. Your anus is never going to be anything but an anus, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's never going to be 100 percent clean. Plus, what you're doing sounds like a real hassle!
  
  
• I'd recommend wet tissues such as baby wipes, but some doctors (like Goldstone) discourage perfumed wipes as they can irritate sensitive skin, recommending wet cotton balls instead. But I've had no problems with baby wipes.

Also douching isn't a requirement, just a preference, and incorrect douching can lead to colon problems. ""I usually tell patients to just put a towel down on those fancy sheets and go for it," said Dr. Stephen Goldstone, an assistant clinical professor of surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital and a specialist in anorectal disease and gay men's health. Goldstone is the author of The Ins & Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook, so he knows a thing or two." (https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/59zq3x/gay-guys-youre-douching-wrong). If they felt comfortable with each other, maybe they would be fine without douching.

But agreed that a show that's supposed to be about being sexually open should be equipped for all sexual preferences.

You seem smart enough to have these things figured out on your own, but just for your general edification, consider sitting down with some trustworthy old queens to have "the safer sex talk" that your parents probably never gave you. The basics are:

• Use condoms and lube. I believe you can get these for free at the Utah Pride Center.
  
• Get tested for STIs regularly. Just ask your doctor, or if you don't have health insurance, sometimes there are free public services that will do this. Again, ask at Utah Pride Center.
  
• Visually inspect any parts of him that you are going to interact with. This can be done in a sexy way.
  
  You probably already know this stuff, but 19-year-old me was clueless, so I'm just casting a net of precaution. Another great resource for your general edification is The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex. Your mormon upbringing certainly didn't teach you this stuff, so make sure to learn it for yourself.

If you're at all interested, there's a great book by Dr. Stephen E. Goldstone called The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex, which will teach you a lot.

I have a few thoughts on being a Gay-friendly. I'm not speaking for any of the other letters in LGBTQ because I can't.

I think the most important thing you can do is be courteous and non-judgemental about a patient's sexual history. Sometimes even in a liberal place like where I live I get the evil stare when talking about my sex life.

Next, butts. Butts are important for everyone and yet difficult to talk about. That's true for everyone, but both are doubly true for gay men. In fact, almost all the rest of this is about the butt.

I think gay men just tend to care about butts more than straight guys. Men are attracted to other guy's butts. If they're bottoms, it's a sexual organ. But even if they're a top they'll still care about their butt more than the average straight man.

A procedure that might leave a scar may cause a gay man more distress than it might a straight man. A condition that affects his butt may also cause distress. Gay men might freak out more about butt problems than straight men because they may have probably been told about all the awful diseases they'll get if they ever engage in any sexual acts. So take their concerns seriously when someone thinks their hemorrhoid means they have AIDS.

More to the point, a gay man is very likely to have been told at some point in their life that their sexual activities are wrong and sinful. So it may be more difficult for them to talk about due to the shame they feel.

You need to know about butt problems that are both common to everyone and common to gay people. Straight men get hemorrhoids and so do gay men. But the gay man is more likely to assume that the hemorrhoids are a result of his sexual activities even though it isn't. Then there are things that gay men get that straight men don't get. Like rectal STDs.

And lastly, I can't recommend a book called "The ins and outs of gay sex" enough, though it's pretty dated. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0440508460/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_J.bvDbYHP4QZ0

The ins and outs of gay sex

I bought it through Google so I could read it on my phone.

But it is. It's well known that anal sex weakens the sphincter*, making it harder to KEEP YOUR SHIT IN YOUR ANUS. Have you ever had to hold a ton of shit in really hard because you were nowhere near the toilet? Well let me tell you friends, if you've got a weak sphincter you don't have to worry about it cause it's going to all be in your pants.

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