Reddit reviews The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant
We found 9 Reddit comments about The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Plume Books
Please read this whole comment; I write it with compassion. You asked for advice! Here's a bunch of inconsiderate words.
You will not have a "normal family" as one half of a straight couple, two biological kids and a dog. You will not have a normal heterosexual relationship. You already know this, you just don't want to deal with it. Either you'll be lying to yourself and your girlfriend (that's not normal!) or you'll be honest with her about your sexuality (which is not 100% straight).
The more quickly you let go of "normal" the less painful it will be. There is in reality NO NORMAL. There are majorities and minorities; that doesn't mean that those in the minority are abnormal. (When compared to people who are 99% straight, you are actually in the minority in this situation.)
Try small steps first. You should tell your friend (with whom you are very close!) that you think you might be gay, or bisexual. See what she thinks about that. You would want her to know this, right?
You don't need to find a Life Partner right now. You're 22. For God's sake, pull your head out of your ass, go out to a (gay) bar and dance your butt off. Try finding a date first, before you start planning your wedding. Slow the fuck down! :)
You can raise children with another man, if you want. You can even fuck a woman and get her pregnant, and then raise the child as your own. You can adopt or foster. Go read The Kid by Dan Savage.
Don't agree to do something you don't want to do, trying to avoid hurting your friend's feelings. It won't help in the long run. Try dating her first? It might work, it might not, you need to find that out first.
>I just wouldn't feel comfortable with that lifestyle. I know my friends and family would accept that I am gay, but I just don't want that.
There is no "lifestyle." You are living a "queer lifestyle" right now because you are queer and your heart is beating. You don't have a choice.
I think that if your friends and family will accept that you're queer, you should also accept that you're queer. Everything will become easier and more honest when you accept it. You won't have to worry about these things. That I can definitely promise!
Have you read Dan Savage's book about the process? It is called the kid, it is from 2000 so you should be able to find a second hand one in a used bookstore by now.
I have seen other redditors asking this over in /r/lgbt if you want to search for previous posts over there.
> even at the cost of denying the mother agency and bodily autonomy
We Westerners are apparently okay with locking children into prisons for 9 years (12 years, 9 out of 12 months) when they could pick up the same skills in less time with less "formal" schooling. We also work for many months to pay taxes before we make enough to take home. You'll need to come up with a better excuse.
This "lost autonomy" is only from the date when the woman becomes aware of her condition, the loss is pretty much limited to, "you'll be a bit fat for a while, then lose most of it all at once."
Most anti-abortionists would gladly make birth control free to all women in exchange for the elimination of abortion. But for some, abortion at 8 months is preferable to them wondering what happened to the child they gave away. Gotta preserve that autonomy somehow.
BTW: A (very funny) discussion of open adoption was given by Dan Savage of all people.
I agree with all of that, but want to point out that adoption also costs the adopting family money.
Dan Savage's book The Kid is a great read for any gay guys who are considering adopting. (He says that he wanted to call it $300 Per Ounce (or whatever the number was) based on the amount of money they paid in the adoption process and their son's birth weight.)
I think I'm more interested in fostering (which you actually get paid for, although in reality you better be spending more on the kids than the state is giving you), although I'm a bit worried about what it's going to be like taking care of kids who may have any number of emotional, mental, or physical wounds to deal with. I'm not planning on starting any time soon, though, so I have plenty of time for people who went through foster care to convince me that it won't be that bad.
eesh, that does make sense though.
all I know about FAS is I knew two camp counselors when I was a kid who had the facial deformities and speech problems, they were brother and sister and were also both deeply kind and good people. (camp names: Sunflower and Monkey)
that and Dan Savage has about a whole chapter on it in his book The Kid, where he frets about his adoptive son being born with flippers and recalls that his alcoholic Irish catholic grandmother, despite drinking all through seven pregnancies, never produced a kid with FAS.
Why are you specifically choosing a same-sex couple? I'm a lesbian and seriously want to thank you for making a decision that will mean the world to one lucky couple.
On a related note, Dan Savage and his partner adopted their son in an open adoption. I highly recommend his book, The Kid.
I don't know any but I am currently reading "The Kid" by Dan Savage where he talks about adopting a child with his boyfriend. Pretty entertaining so far.
The best description I've ever read of why to go Uncircumcised was in Dan Savage's book The Kid
Archives for the links in comments:
----
I am Mnemosyne 2.1, Archives for the Archive God! ^^^^/r/botsrights ^^^^Contribute ^^^^message ^^^^me ^^^^suggestions ^^^^at ^^^^any ^^^^time ^^^^Opt ^^^^out ^^^^of ^^^^tracking ^^^^by ^^^^messaging ^^^^me ^^^^"Opt ^^^^Out" ^^^^at ^^^^any ^^^^time