Reddit reviews The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
We found 33 Reddit comments about The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook). Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy New Harbinger Self help Workbooks
Finally, a thread where I can contribute! Let me take my gloves off. And first of all, excuse my English as I'm self-taught (but getting better!)
First off, you are not alone. I was first diagnosed with OCD in early 2018, and later other professionals dismissed that diagnosis. So, according to many, I don't have OCD, but I have traits of it. My first advice would be to seek treatment, which you already have, so my first actual advice is to go to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy center and have some tests run on you. You say you have a weird form of anxiety/OCD. Well, maybe you don't have OCD at all. I don't want to give you false hopes, as you did not detail what is "weird" about it, but I've had several professionals tell me that there is not such a thing as "a little OCD". You either have it or not. With that out of the way, and with the best wishes, here's your arsenal, which will help you whether you do have OCD or you have traits of it that interfere with your life, like I do.
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First, I wouldn't be answering your actual question and wouldn't be on this subreddit if I didn't recommend "The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/). This is really, really good. Then there's "Everyday Mindfulness for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Mindfulness-OCD-Tricks-Joyfully/dp/1626258929/) which I have not read but heard great things about, and, in the same venue, there's "The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-Anxiety-8-Week-Solution/dp/1641520299/) which is not just for OCD but for anxiety in general.
EDIT: I have not ignored your comment saying that mindfulness has not been effective for you, but I would stay with it. Maybe you can supplement it with loving-kindness meditation which also has been great for me, but mindfulness is mainly what I do. But yes, it is hard, and OCD or OCD-like traits are sometimes going to suck no matter what you do. You just have to learn to live with them, or despite them!
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Now, with meditation out of the way, I HAVE to recommend these books, because they have been great to me. The best of them all has been this one: "The OCD Workbook" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218/). It's so helpful. Contact me if you can't get it. You are not going to be sorry, I promise.
The second best is "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts" (https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/). I can't recommend this one enough. Once again, contact me if you can't get it.
There is also a new one which I have not read but have bought (again, contact me if you can't get it) that is called "OCD: A Workbook for Clinicians" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Clinicians-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1559570504/). I have it in my to-read list but have heard only GREAT things about it, and it's a very short book.
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Now comes the memoir section. This is for when you don't want to feel alone (you're not). There's "Is Fred In The Refrigerator?" (https://www.amazon.com/Fred-Refrigerator-Taming-Reclaiming-Life/dp/1732177007/) Which I absolutely love. It's very motivational, at least to me. There is also "Pure OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/PURE-OCD-Invisible-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1634919912/ maybe you referred to this as your "weird form of OCD"?) which is great but I had to put down because the girl started to talk about suicidal thoughts and it made me feel bad because it reminded me of my own struggle, and figured that for the time being, until I'm in a better place, I needed to stop. And then there's also this one which is pretty "funny" (without trying to be rude) that is called "Because We Are Bad" (https://www.amazon.com/Because-We-Are-Bad-Thought/dp/0062696165/) in which the author has a form of OCD that I have not heard of anybody else having.
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And if you need to talk, feel free to message me. I love talking to other people who have to face mental health issues, because it makes me feel that I'm not alone, and it makes me feel that I'm contributing a little. Maybe we can even do some Skype sessions and endure the struggle together.
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Stay strong over and over again (heh)
Sounds like Pure O or Pure Obsessional OCD although the name is a misnomer since sufferers also have compulsions that can take the form of a constant need to ruminate about certain thoughts or themes. This books is good The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_USdSCbT2QD388
This one isnt specifically about OCD it tends to be general but this girl knows her stuff helped me out a lot. Hope and Help for Your Nerves https://www.amazon.com/dp/0451167228/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_3YdSCbDPJSP0M
I'm sorry if I came off blunt, but posting on here every few weeks isn't going to magic up an answer, and you didn't say anything about getting help you just posted the same thing as before. Getting better means you stop entertaining the "am I a monster" question, so not posting it on reddit or anywhere else, and you focus on what's important, which is resisting compulsions and looking after your dog as normal.
Here are three different workbooks that have been incredibly helpful for lots of people:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/OCD-Workbook-Obsessive-Compulsive-Harbinger-Self-Help/dp/1572249218
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X/
I suggest you pick one and get yourself started with a positive and confident attitude. You can ABSOLUTELY get better from this. But posting on here is the opposite of recovery, it is making you sicker because you're hoping someone will give you the magic sentence that clears this up for you, which reinforces your need to go over the questions in your head. Go give your doggo a cuddle and have a look at the reviews of the workbooks. If you want to get a better understanding of OCD check out the OCD Stories podcast (on YT and itunes). Over a hundred interviews with specialists and sufferers, and check out Mark Freeman on Youtube to learn a bit more about handling painful and difficult thoughts, as well as Katie D'Ath who has a short series explaining how OCD works and what's going on in your head. These resources have been instrumental in my own recovery, which isn't 'full' yet but is miles better than the wreck I was a few months ago.
Reddit is a cesspit of people half-managing their condition and giving terrible advice and it will drag you down into getting worse. If you get the urge to post you're honestly better off taking your dog for a walk and watching a movie until the urge subsides. There are no answers here, only illness and you're better than that.
I feel like I say this 10 times a day on this subreddit(because it helped me so much) but mindfulness worked for me. The more you fight your thoughts the more they fight back. Let them be. They will go away on there own if you let them. Just observe them and the emotion that comes with them.
In the mean time there are a lot of self help book out there.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD is a wonderful book. It’s very simple and straightforward! This is my #1! I would recommend the kindle edition, because you can pull it up on a smartphone whenever you need it.
I hope everything works out!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_GG7wDbQ7QJNQR
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This book was given to me by my therapist, and has arguably helped me just as much as therapy. It's clear and includes so much useful information and tools for general OCD troubles and then also chapters dedicated to the main OCD themes(HOCD, germs, etc).
I would recommend this to anyone suffering from OCD.
My therapist recommended this one to me:
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
I haven't used it much yet, but I can definitely see how it would be helpful for a lot of people. Might be worth a shot for you?
Fair enough. In that case, you might check out this book, which synthesizes several approaches for intrusive thoughts and OCD that are helpful for a lot of people.
The reason I'm mentioning these solutions instead of hypnosis is there's very little objective evidence hypnosis is helpful for OCD, whereas these other approaches have been shown to be helpful.
Also, I'm not saying this is the case for you, but I think some people are interested in hypnosis as a treatment because it seems easier or less emotionally demanding -- just sit back and go into trance, and let the hypnotist fix you. This isn't actually the case, though. Hypnosis demands active participation from hypnotist and subject, and can be just as emotionally and mentally challenging as other treatments. Which isn't at all a criticism of hypnosis. But if you're going to commit to doing some mental and emotional work to improve your symptoms, you might as well start by investing that work in the approach with the best chance of success.
Agreed.
 
Also, while finding help^^1 maybe check these out:
 
[1] The above can't replace what /u/Gullex suggested, but since you may need all you can get your hands on, it probably couldn't hurt to just take a look.
That's a great book if you have the discipline to do ERP on your own. Some other good books are:
[Freedom from OCD] (https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X) and Mindfulness Workbook for OCD. The nocd app is on ios / android and can aid you in your ERP at home.
I have gone through exactly what you are going through, the most important thing is to remember you are not alone.
The important thing is to separate the thoughts from the feelings. I was also in a place where I would feel anxious around men and my attraction to women had lowered, so I put 2+2 together despite never finding men sexually attractive/never fantasising about men. How to overcome this is to embrace uncertainty. To just allow the feelings to just be there and not to try and overanalyse them. You sound like me, so wrapped up in your insecurities that you are overthinking your every move and you can't see straight. Take some time to just allow the feelings to be feelings and you'll feel better.
The most important thing you can do is see a therapist right now. It will be the best decision you will ever make. I know this is hard to hear but you have to stop using the internet as a checking source. Stop looking for solace in reading coming out stories or posting on forums like this and most importantly, stop analysing every feeling you have.
If for whatever reason you can't see a therapist (or to supplement your time with them) I recommend this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501734947&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd
If you have any questions or you'd just like to chat, I'm here for you. You can PM me.
Good luck.
I found this book really helpful during my deconversion
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
I do have advice. It sounds like you are in a good place and the (MASSIVE FUCKING DOUBT) monster isn't in your voice. When some people talk about OCD, they talk with the voice of the doubt. You are giving clear examples with a pretty objective view of your thoughts from the outside. Those thoughts sound like they really suck, however, they are only half of the problem. Without compulsions, the intrusive thoughts have no food to grow. So, I know it sounds hard, over even down right impossible, but I want you to tell yourself, when you are in these moments (I have a knife and I'm gonna fucking stab him or go slow so you don't break your neck) that you just notice what your brain is telling you and you say the phrase in your head "I'm having the thought that ___."
When we label our thoughts as what they are, thoughts, and we don't give them meaning (no matter how much they tell us they mean something), we give our brain room to observe thoughts and then make a choice about what will happen next. Right now, your OCD says "jump" and you say "I'm already jumping." Next time your brain says "jump" say to yourself "I'm having that jump thought again, that's interesting" and then go do something regular (like dishwashing or pooping or TV). Here is a great book about this that you can bring to your therapist or do on your own.
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417494705&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfullness+workbook+for+OCD
What you are experiencing sounds really awful and yet it's entirely normal. The basic principle of the brain is "what fires together wires together". When you had that very intense experience combining orgasms and suicidal thoughts because of medication, it simply made a literal connection in your brain. You can break it, and any good therapist can help you (doesn't have to be a sex therapist).
This can be treated like an OCD symptom where you are having intrusive thoughts triggered by a stimulus. There are great books on how to do this and I highly recommend them:
https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
Mind you, I'm not saying you have OCD, or any disorder. But your brain is "locked" in linking these two parts of your life in a very unpleasant way. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and this could happen to anyone who was set off with nasty side effects of medication.
You may also approach this like an experience of Post Traumatic Stress, which can also show up with intrusive thoughts. Good resources for that exist too:
https://www.amazon.com/PTSD-Workbook-Effective-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1626253706
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
You didn't do anything wrong and you can definitely get past this. The harder you try to fix a mental association the more you can strengthen it, so you need some techniques. Tools for OCD and PTSD are designed just for you in that regard.
I'd buy all 4 books and then find any good therapist to work through them with.
Good luck. I know with the right tools and practice you can separate these two aspects of your experience and get back to enjoying sex, which you deserve.
I think if you are consciously and deliberately trying to avoid compulsions, that's great! You are already doing better than half of this sub.
That said, making mistakes is normal and human. Don't beat yourself up for giving in into a compulsion. After all, it's a human instinct to avoid anxiety.
By all means, keep avoiding doing compulsions (don't avoid obsessions / what causes your anxiety). Definitely be proud for what a step you took, but also try to avoid giving in to "fixing". But don't beat yourself up too much, just keep making a lot of effort consistently.
Consider trying self-directed ERP: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/
Get yourself a couple of books on ERP/CBT:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1608828786/
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1572249218/
Doing ERP feels like torture, but it's pretty effective. From the tone of your post, it sounds like you could do it on your own (i. e. without a therapist). So you could probably get better.
That’s terrible that you are not being given any resources. If you want to do some reading, here are some absolutely essential books you need to check out:
https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Mindfulness-OCD-Tricks-Joyfully/dp/1626258929
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
My wife lives with ocd (the real kind, not the cutesy sitcom kind that people toss around) and these have helped a lot, in addition to some good therapy. There’s also an ocd subreddit that might be of some help. I hope you can find some good care off campus, with someone who knows what they’re doing.
I know you're in a bad place right now and here's an Internet hug from someone who understands your pain. Unfortunately, 'success stories' are probably not what you need right now. That would be reassurance seeking and is something that keeps OCD episodes coming back. It teaches your mind that 'when I'm feeling bad I need to find new information to make myself feel in control again'. It gives temporary relief but only reinforces the same patterns. I recommend reading the following book to get you started: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474416036&sr=8-1&keywords=ocd
Then I'd say find a good ERP therapist who will help you make sense of all the confusion in your mind. The book in particular has some great exercises that will help you prepare yourself for the ERP sessions.
Finally, whether your thoughts are from OCD or genuinely how you feel, you are not a bad person. Actually if you could step outside of your own mind right now, you'd be able to see that what you're going through is simply part of the human experience. Especially in the 21st century where so much importance can be placed on romantic relationships, our peculiar ideas of love and the black/white views of society around us.
I'd say if you haven't already, read the book. It's written by someone with far more experience on the topic than any of us hanging out here in the subreddit (though not to take away from the wisdom and anecdotes we can share). Then, find a good ERP therapist in your area. That's plenty of homework to keep you busy for a little while :)
Came back to reddit just to reply to this. I was diagnosed with OCD two years ago this week; however, looking back, it's been with me my entire life. Three things that helped me in my journey:
When a Family Member has OCD: https://www.amazon.com/When-Family-Member-Has-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1626252467/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1467567451&sr=8-1&keywords=when+a+family+member+has+ocd
OCD and Mindfulness Workbook (same author as above): https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=81XPS9FC6H9SJF7M30BH
Please, encourage her to get back to therapy, and get your hands on those books if possible.
As a diagnosed OCD sufferer who has learned over five years to "tune it out," let me provide you with some resources to help while you're locating a therapist. I'd recommend mine, but he's in Orem.
This book brought me a great deal of relief, and I review it off and on when I need a refresher in managing my OCD. It covers most of the major themes people experience: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2FJ9LNLQMV2IT&keywords=ocd+mindfulness+workbook&qid=1564633924&s=gateway&sprefix=OCD+mindfulne%2Caps%2C190&sr=8-3
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For general depression, I recommend this. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that it saved my life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=the+happiness+trap&qid=1564633982&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyWEVXMFNMWVFMWVZFJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzg4OTU0MTdNRFBBNTBaUzNNOCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzE2MDU5M0c1ODdLTkxONUZaMyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
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I have a few copies of each of these books, and if money is tight, I would be more than happy to give them to you, just shoot me a PM.
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Hang in there! Easier said than done, I know, but in time, you'll learn to observe your thoughts and ride that wave!
It doesn't really matter what you officially call it. The labels are there so people have something to refer to it in discussion, but honestly every anxiety disorder is kind of on a spectrum. There's no real clear cut diagnosis for anyone. If you're suffering, you're suffering. That psych you saw that dismissed your concerns sounds not very helpful.
It's good that you're actively seeking someone to help you though. While you're waiting to get in to see someone, I'd suggest getting a few books to educate yourself about anxiety disorders in general as well as OCD. Some of my favorites are:
Also check out Mark Freeman's videos, he posts in this forum sometimes. His videos have been extremely helpful for me.
Good luck!
I wish I could give you a hug and just sit with you. I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You sound like an incredibly compassionate, loving person who cares deeply about the people around you, and I would love to be your friend. You keep calling yourself "lazy" - please don't have a double standard for yourself and other people. ❤️ Imagine you had a friend with schizophrenia. Would you call him "lazy" for having hallucinations? What if you had a friend with a reading disability - would you call her "lazy" for making mistakes? It's the same for you. You're not lazy for having a fucked-up brain. In fact, I'm amazed at all the work you've done to become healthy.
I'm sorry you've had so much trouble finding treatment for your OCD, panic attacks, and possible ADHD. I know it can be really frustrating finding a therapist/counselor/etc that's actually helpful and understands your mental illness, maybe especially in your country, but I want to encourage you not to give up. I went to a psychologist, too, and she was terrible... I only had three sessions with her before I quit. I had better luck with a counseling student who had me as his very first client! Finally I found a licensed counselor who's perfect, and I look forward to our sessions every week.
Suggestions:
OPTIONAL theological section:
I've spent a lot of time living in fear of hell, too. I've had panic attacks, fear of the dark, insomnia, and severe depression over the people I love who aren't Christian. Here's how I argued myself out of that mental torment and Christianity at the same time.
Therefore, a morally perfect God wouldn't create such a place unless:
Either way: take a deep breath, it's okay, your friends aren't in any more danger than you are. If God would send them to hell, you don't want a relationship with him anyway. Might as well be gay, secular, and at peace rather than wasting this tiny short life trying to follow a capricious or imaginary God.
I really truly hope you get through this awful time. Things really do get better... and then worse... and then better again - these feelings won't last forever. Lots of love from the US!
Sure thing! As far as meditation goes, I've mostly used podcasts or apps. A search for "mindful relaxation" or "guided meditation" pull up lots of helpful podcasts. There are lots to chose from, many free. These have been helpful for me when I have trouble sleeping or relaxing at night. I find my mind keeps running with all sorts of thoughts and my anxiety levels are often high at bedtime. Meditation helped me relax and sleep. After seeing a therapist for OCD, she has encouraged me to apply the deep breathing and relaxing techniques that the mediation podcasts use and teach when I feel upset about different OCD situations. For instance, just thinking or talking about some of my obsessions cause me to get upset and hyperventilate, so she has taught me to calm myself with using the mediation techniques I know. It's kind of like exposure therapy I suppose, but on a much lighter scale. I'm just thinking and talking about the obsessions and learning how to calm myself. But with practice I've learned to apply the techniques in real life when OCD strikes. But it does take practice, because at first I wouldn't even remember to use the techniques.
As for mindfulness, much of it involves being involved in the moment, observing your thoughts for what they are and not making judgements on them (thinking your a good or bad person for what your thinking, just acknowledge the thought and move on). For me this is can be hard because some of my obsessions aren't pretty. I can have bad images or thoughts I don't want to have. But mindfulness stresses we should acknowledge the thought is there, not make a judgement whether the thought is good or bad and just recognize it as a thought, and move on. To help me practice this, I have found the book The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by J Hershfield and T Corboy helpful. It has a general overview of mindfulness and then breaks down into sections for different types of OCD (ex; relationship, checking, harm, contamination, etc). It really explained OCD thought patterns in a way I could relate to, and has been helping me recognize them so I can try to stop them before they spiral out of control.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1608828786/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1410734291&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40
I applaud you on taking a huge step when it comes to battling your OCD! You are right! Finding someone is a complete pain in the backside, but don't give up!
/u/backhaircombover/ is correct that the IOCDF is a great resource. I also have occasionally found some listings on the https://www.psychologytoday.com/ site.
If you have insurance, they will often have a list of professionals they work with as well. Unfortunately you will likely find that a lot of the folks with a great deal of OCD experience tend not to take insurance. Still, sometimes you can find both!
Definitely do what you can to research people on the net and also make calls and talk to them in person. It can be a good idea to write down your questions and concerns so you don't forget anything when you are on the phone. Also, be willing to give someone a try if it sounds like it may be a fit but you aren't positive. There is no reason you have to go back if it just isn't clicking.
In the meantime, you might also benefit from going through a workbook on OCD. I recently did this one with my therapist and I did find it helped in some ways: The Mindfullness Workbook for OCD.
Good luck!
Edit: Forgot to add, different professionals specialize in different things (ERT vs CBT for instance) so keep that in mind as well. My last Dr was experienced with ERT and I found it helped a lot.
Well, your symptoms only started 3 weeks ago, so definitely don't panic about the length of time recovery is taking just yet...! The average time many people with OCD go on suffering for before they get properly diagnosed and get help is about 12 YEARS (can you believe it? I couldn't have lasted that long, myself). It's amazing and really positive that you've managed to figure out what the intrusive thought about stabbing yourself in the eye was so quickly and have already started doing the right kind of therapy for it. This is a REALLY positive start. So congratulations on taking the problem seriously and on doing such good research so quickly :)
OCD can have a really long recovery time, in some cases. Some people get lucky and find they get on brilliantly with medication, and find their symptoms clear up within a day or two of medication, others see good results after a 12-week course of therapy or a 1-week intensive course, but for most of us who've had bad OCD long-term, it can take 6 - 18 months of practising the therapy exercises to re-wire our brain properly and really knock the symptoms out. In your case it probably won't take this long, because you've caught the symptoms really quickly, before they've had time to sink in and get really entrenched. You will probably start to feel better within a few weeks, maybe sooner. It's unfortunately slow and frustrating. It can get delayed, too, if you end up on the wrong medication or you don't do your therapy for a bit etc. So please don't panic about quick results! I know it's awful to experience these dark thoughts and we all wish we could make them go away ASAP, but at the same time be comforted by knowing that you're not doing anything wrong or slow when it takes this timespan.
8 days is the blink of an eye when it comes to mental health recovery. We don't know exactly what makes the brain malfunction in OCD, but we think the brain has a problem learning to switch your 'fear circuit' into the 'off' position. The switch is broken in OCD, it seems. You can see the difference clearly when you compare people wih phobias vs people with OCD. The people with phobias can often mostly recover in a single day, because all they need to do is face their fears until the fear circuit naturally switches to 'off'. And it switches off quickly for them, and it STAYS 'off'. For OCD it takes lots of repetition and practice to get the brain circuit to finally switch 'off', because it doesn't learn and take a cue properly. So...it's annoying, but it does explain why OCD is slower to fix than other kinds of fears.
If you can't afford ERP (which is often considered a subtype of CBT), that should still be ok. There are studies suggesting that people who DIY their own course of therapy (provided it's the RIGHT therapy...!) for OCD can still get good results. And there are definitely resources you can use to guide you in this, like books, free videos, blogs, podcasts by professionals. If you want to mix in any ERP type techniques with the mindfulness ones you're already using, they work very well together. You might like to try a DIY workbook like The Mindfulness Guide for OCD ( https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505126167&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd ) or the OCD Workbook ( https://www.amazon.co.uk/OCD-Workbook-Obsessive-Compulsive-Harbinger-Self-Help/dp/1572249218/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505126202&sr=1-1&keywords=ocd+workbook ). You might also like Ali's OCD podcast series, as she helps many people with OCD and uses the medically- approved methods, and advocates mindfulness-type approaches of just letting the thoughts go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgnHNAAzb1E&t=5s
The main reason people go for proper ERP therapy with a professional is because they can guide you and check you're doing the techniques right. And offer emotional support, because OCD therapy can be tough and scary. So it would be a good idea to check you're using the techniques correctly. In particular, make sure that you're not doing any kind of covert mental compulsions. When the unpleasant thoughts about sexual things happen, just leave them entirely alone. Really, drop it like it's hot. Don't touch them with a bargepole, reply to them, answer them, debate them, neutralize them, try to 'replace' them with a harmless thought, flash up a mental image in response to them, deliberately try to fight or forget them, or anything else. Just mentally take a step back, let them be, without judging, and grit your teeth against the unpleasantness.
It's normal for the thoughts to suddenly spike up worse when you start trying to just let them be, ignore them and not judge them. OCD is like a monster and it wants your attention. It is very convinced you NEED to hear what it is saying, and if you don't give it attention it just thinks it needs to keep yelling at you harder until you give in. In the long run, it WILL eventually calm down and get the message that there's no need to keep sending you these creepy thoughts and images and yelling about them. It just can take a while for the message to get through, because, like I say, the OCD brain is slow to learn new signals about what is and isn't scary.
Be kind to yourself whilst you're in recovery :). It's hard, and you're doing hard work. Whilst you shouldn't avoid situations (avoidance is a compulsion), you can take it easy, try and aim for more low-impact social situations and work assignments if you can, don't pile extra stress ontop of yourself at this time by taking on a new tight deadline or offering to plan a big party. Gentle socialising with understanding friends, and some work to keep your mind busy can be really helpful to recovery, but there's no need to add too much extra stress.
Ultimately I think you're in a really good position to recover. I wish you all the best! If you don't find you're making progress at all after a few weeks, it might be time to cry contacting a professional briefly (rather than for a full course of therapy) to just check if you're doing anything wrong.
I've been seeing a therapist in Orem for the past three years. I've managed to get a pretty good handle on it all. I was constantly afraid of getting into trouble at work or at home. I would use google to check laws all the time, seek out reassurance from co-workers and family, only to land myself back at square one. Looking back on my life, it's always been there though, it just came to a head three years ago. I can vividly remember being told , as a teen, that masturbation could lead to homosexuality, it was murder, and one could possibly contract STD's (AIDS mainly) present on your hands. Freaked me the fuck out. I remember finding a 1-800 number for an AIDS hotline and asking them if I could contract AIDS through masturbation. They of course said no, but I must have called them back 20 times that week to "check." I also remember once being told that I would no longer be sealed to my family if I sinned too much. Being an only child, I, of course, felt like that if I fucked up too much, I would no longer be with my parents for eternity, and how much it would break my moms heart. So, the hyper-responsibility and scrupe kicked in.
You are far from alone. My therapist indicated that he's seeing more and more people of my demographic being treated for OCD revolving around perfectionism and scrupulosity, who are also current and former members of the church.
If you haven't already, please get help. If you are unable to, please use these resources. I am not being hyperbolic when I say they saved my life:
Amazing workbook that covers all major themes of OCD: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1506268535&sr=8-2&keywords=workbook+for+ocd
Companion book that I bought my wife to help me deal with the hell I was going through: https://www.amazon.com/When-Family-Member-Has-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1626252467/ref=pd_sim_14_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=708TGTKDB2JFQ982YMFY
To help manage depression. Absolutely brilliant. https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1506268610&sr=1-1&keywords=happiness+trap
Also, are you currently in Utah County?
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Anything by Jon Hershfield. He is a psychotherapist and OCD specialist who has also battled with OCD his entire life. I like his perspective because as a sufferer he really puts the experience into words that make absolute sense to me.
Everyday Mindfulness for OCD and its accompanying workbook were game changers for me. He artfully breaks down the entire rumination process for OCD suffers and has countless methods and games to help you stay anchored even in ruminating thoughts. He also breaks down ERP and its the closest thing to an OCD therapist Ive ever had. I also struggle with panic attacks that result from rumination, and I use methods from this book constantly. Its rocky at first but the more you embrace your scary thoughts and uncertainty the easier the methods become. Its also small so its easy to carry around with you. I don’t go anywhere without in it.
Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626258929/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_IxfMDbSMT8G7Z
The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_1xfMDbDQZ39MR
I’ve used this and I recommend it. I believe there are other workbooks in this “series” that might also be worth checking out.
The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (New Harbinger Self-help Workbooks) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_m97QBb4C3XW24
also more ocd focused, but may be helpful http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
Do you work with an OCD specialist? Have you ever done CBT/ERP to learn how to manage things?
One of the best (read: shittiest) things about OCD is that it can always find a new theme, a new set of obsessions and compulsions, to burden you with. But at the end of the day, OCD is just OCD - the content doesn't matter, the treatment and coping methods are the same for all the various themes you could think of. So if you've ever gotten professional help before, you can employ the things you worked with then to help yourself now.
I've you've never seen an OCD specialist, that's my first recommendation. If that's not an option, there are some great self-help resources available. I personally recommend Hershfield and Corboy's Mindfulness Workbook for OCD.
Good luck!
There are a two workkbooks that I can think of off the top of my head.
There is The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Bruce M. Hyman. It is does a pretty good job in what it sets out to do and there are less expensive editions of the same book available on Amazon.
One that I haven't gone through yet goes by the title of The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by Jon Hershfield and Tom Corboy. I am not sure if it touches upon ERP (Exposure Response Prevention). It has gotten great reviews though!
Best of luck!
I'm doing phenomenally better than I've ever been in the years between 18 and 26, yes.
For getting over the "silliness" of meditation: understanding the scientific research behind it can help arm you with knowledge to fight against the negative inner critic. Here's a few useful articles to get you started: One Two Three
If you're worried about looking silly, than make time when you can be alone. If you're living at home with your parents and don't feel comfortable going "hey, don't knock on my door for a while because I'll be meditating" then try going for a walk, to a park, or someplace else where you can sit comfortably alone for 5 to 20 minutes without being bothered. You don't have to do the traditional meditation poses, simply sitting upright with your hands folded in your lap is fine. You can also do it when laying down before bed, but I suggest making that an EXTRA meditation session, not your main one, since generally (at least for me) it usually makes me fall asleep pretty fast.
I really do absolutely suggest you give the Everybody Has a Brain channel a watch, both for the fantastic guidance Mark offers as well as the general "I'm not alone in this feeling" thing that happens that's a real relief when you hear people talking about things that you've been keeping bottled up inside for years.
As for talking: listen, I know it's extremely difficult. And certainly not everyone you know or are friends with is someone you feel you can trust. BUT. OCD is an insidious disease that does everything it can to keep you from talking about it, because the easiest way for it to stay so large and scary is for it to build up in your brain and never be spoken of. It's seriously like Voldemort that way. You've got to say its name, and tell people what its doing. When you do, it starts to lose power. It is definitely one of THE HARDEST STEPS that you will have to take on the road to recovery. But it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. That's why I said that if you don't want to talk to others at first then at least start talking to yourself OUTLOUD about it. Because putting real words to it outside of yourself is an essential part of stripping your fears of their power over you.
I'd also highly suggest you find a talk therapist. If your financial situation is prohibitive, then find a local school and ask them if they have a program for their grad students to earn hours in. That's actually where I go-- my local area has a counseling center where grad students (overseen by licensed professionals) do talk therapy sessions on a sliding scale basis dependent on income. My income is extremely low so I only pay $10 per 1 hour session, and I completely credit my counselor with helping save my life.
You can also start yourself off while looking for a talk therapist. Pick up The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD. It's just an all around excellent book. Doesn't replace therapy or your own hard work but it can be a nice guide when you're alone and are still looking for help.
Lastly: about being "pitied" or people thinking you're "crazy". That was 100% my fear for 8 years. It's what drove me to bury my feelings and hide my anxieties from sight even while it was literally eating me alive from the inside. I thought that as long as I looked alright on the surface I wasn't really "crazy".
The most freeing thing I learned from finally being unable to hide my disease is that being honest about it, owning it, and controlling the conversation about it and about your experiences is one of the best ways to take at least half your burden off yourself. Like I said earlier, its terrifying. And at first I could only tell my close family and my therapist. It's like coming out as LGBT (which I've had to do too). You spend so much time fearing what other people will think that it becomes This Thing, but once you get over the first couple hurdles and deal with the reactions as they come, it becomes easier, and eventually you never ever want to go back to a place where you deny that part of you.
OCD is a part of you. It will always be a part of you, even when you're 100% in the recovery zone you will still have OCD because it's a chronic life-long disease, just like any other chronic disease. But that's not something you have to despair about. Don't get me wrong, there will definitely be people who react negatively. When you find them, cut them out of your life. You don't have to shun them, but you don't ever have to give someone who can't respect you full access to you once they've proven untrustworthy. It's hard, but oh so worth it. Surround yourself with people who love you and respect you and move those who don't down a few tiers in friendship, and you'll realize just how much the people that love you are truly there to support you through your hard times.
At this point in my life, if for some reason it ever comes up, I will tell literal strangers about my OCD. Three years ago I couldn't even imagine that without a panic attack. Now I can't imagine not being upfront about it. Especially considering the amount of harm that misinformation does to people who struggle with OCD, and how that misinformation makes non-OCD people view those who have it. Talking about it is the only way we can combat that. I know you're absolutely nowhere near that kind of thing right now, and maybe you never will be, and that's ok. But it's just something to consider.
Hope that helps.
If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, they may have been in-struct-ed, programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be.
But even though OCD has a major cognitive component, unlike OCPD, OCD is psychotic and requires a medicinal as well as behavioral treatment scheme.
Here's a road map:
. . . a) CBTs including REBT, collegiate critical thinking, schema therapy, and CPT; as well as the
. . . b) "super-CBTs" like MBCT, DBT (the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), ACT, MBBT, and MBSR; and the
. . . c) "deep cleaners" like EMDR, HBCP, SEPt, SP4T and NARM.
The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc.
To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look here, and here, and here, and (for DBT specialists in particular) here. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview them as though they were applying for a job with your company. Most MD / psychiatrists, btw, are not therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often -- though not always -- excellent sources of referral.