Reddit Reddit reviews The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself

We found 6 Reddit comments about The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Personal Transformation Self-Help
The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself
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6 Reddit comments about The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself:

u/Mustangbex · 6 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

And OP- get yourself a copy of The Nice Girl Syndrome. eta; accidentally a word

u/Elesia · 5 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

Standard US Amazon link with no affiliate links afaik: https://www.amazon.com/Nice-Girl-Syndrome-Manipulated-Standing/dp/0470579900

I needed it too. It helped me everywhere in life... My boss actually suggested it because he got sick of me not defending my projects even when it was valid to do so.

u/georgelass · 3 pointsr/offmychest

Congratulations on recognizing that you need help and deserve better than that! I'm going though a very similar situation. After I was cheated on, I struggled with self-image and setting boundaries for myself. It's really easy to feel like you aren't good enough after someone cheats on you and can really mess with your head. One thing that has been helping is that i made a small goal every day of something that would make me proud of myself. It could be really small like: I will register to vote or I will drink more water throughout the day. At first it was difficult to think of positive things about my day. After a couple of weeks of this my outlook changed. I was feeling more gratitude than depression and I was slowly accomplishing things that were meaningful to me.
If you find reading helpful, there were a few groups that helped after i left an abusive relationship. I'm assuming you're a woman but if I'm incorrect, please disregard most of my list of book suggestions.

These books really helped me get on track with learning how stand up for myself and find the relationship I deserve:

1 The Nice Girl Syndrome this book is an interesting look at the gender dynamic and how society tells girls to be compliant and quiet instead teaching them to set of setting firm boundaries.

2. [How to Spot a Dangerous Man] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0897934474/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475170298&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=how+you+spot+a+dangerous+a+man&dpPl=1&dpID=51qLu6M10CL&ref=plSrch) It certainly has an interesting title. This is not a man-hating book at all. It just shows what abusers, addicts or emotional predators look like and how to avoid them to find the good guys out there.

3.Boundaries This book is great for anyone. It helps you recognize your rights and teaches how to set boundaries in your life. Learning how to have this control was essential in my recovery.

Stay strong.

u/Chicky_Wits · 3 pointsr/AskWomen

The Nice Girl Syndrome

I've have a huge problem being too nice, a doormat and letting other people decide my worth, at work and in relationships. This book covered a lot of causes and fixes, so not all of them applied to me, but the parts that did were hugely helpful, and the parts that didn't apply, really helped me understand other people with these issues. I definitely recommend this to chicks who find themselves being taken advantage of.

u/yearofthecat · 2 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

I'm late on this thread, but I hope you see this. A highly recommended book on another board is The Nice Girl Syndrome and it sounds like it could be something that could help you on your way!

u/luthage · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

> Please help me understand what I need to change!

Your outlook on the situation. Why is it that the first thing that you jump to is that there's a problem with you? Sure it's conditioned into us from birth, but you should really break that cycle. Tell your jerk brain to stop it already.

> This was after almost two months of him assuring me that everything was fine and that my trust was well placed.

That's a pretty big red flag that you knew something wasn't right. Your instincts knew it. And instead of listening to your instincts, you took him at has word. That's never a good idea.

> This is not the first time that I have met a really nice wonderful guy only to have them turn out to have serious baggage that they want my help with.

Then stop helping. There's a rather large difference between being emotionally supportive and a doormat. The Nice Girl Syndrome is an excellent book that I highly suggest.

> My boyfriend before him cheated on me with his ex and manipulated me emotionally.

That doesn't sound like a "nice and wonderful guy." Sounds like you are lucky to be out of that one. The book In Sheep's Clothing is excellent at explaining the common manipulation techniques so you can see the red flags early.

> The one before that claimed he didn't know how to handle me since I wanted more than just to be some girl he took on dates.

Which is asshole speak for "we want different things out of this relationship", putting the blame onto you and you listening to him. There is nothing wrong with wanting something more and there is nothing wrong with not wanting something more. You two just weren't compatible.

> Finding someone who wants an honest connection with me and won't lie about how he feels has been one of my hardest ongoing struggles.

Sadly, this is a common struggle. Some people believe that the only way to get what they want is to pretend to want to give you what you want. I find it bit easier if you pay attention to actions instead of words. Words are easy, but actions take a lot of effort to lie with.

> How do I know who to trust?

Experience. Learning and being able to spot red flags. Trust is something that is earned not just handed over blindly.