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The overall goal is to do whatever it takes to make yourself enjoy life as much as possible. Of course, within moral reason. Check out The Satanic Bible. It's a very short and interesting read, and surprisingly unpretentious.
P.S. I am not a Satanist, I just like reading interesting things.
A good place to start is the sub’s sticky, followed by the Satanic Bible if you want to dig deeper. We are Egoists as well as atheists. Since we believe that all gods are the product of man’s mind, and that rational self-interest is the foundation of morality, it follows that if we are going to make up a fictitious god as a metaphor, the god that best serves that paradigm is ourselves. We do not believe that we are literal gods (as in the supernatural type), but rather use that symbolism as a tool to aid in decision making. If everyone puts themselves first, everyone is better off.
>“All religions of a spiritual nature are inventions of man. He has created an entire system of gods with nothing more than his carnal brain. Just because he has an ego, and cannot accept it, he has to externalize it into some great spiritual device which he calls ‘God.’
>God can do all the things man is forbidden to do—such as kill people, perform miracles to gratify his will, control without any apparent responsibility, etc. If man needs such a god and recognizes that god, then he is worshipping an entity that a human being invented. Therefore, HE IS WORSHIPPING BY PROXY THE MAN THAT INVENTED GOD. Is it not more sensible to worship a god that he, himself, has created, in accordance with his own emotional needs—one that best represents the very carnal and physical being that has the idea‐power to invent a god in the first place?” -- The Satanic Bible, Anton LaVey
As far as ethics, we subscribe to the idea that each individual acting in their rational self-interests will also lead to the best outcomes on a societal scale. For more information on the ideas of rational egoism, I suggest the works of Stirner (or Rand if you want the pop-culture version).
It is also often missed that man is a social animal and empathy is part of the human condition. For most, in addition to the practical benefits of benevolent (but not altruistic) behavior, there is also happiness to be found in compassion towards the deserving.
As an example, I give to charities that I feel are helpful to the society (I just sent a donation to ProjectPrevention) which I live in (benevolence to others as a practical act) and to some specific causes simply because I derive pleasure from helping those causes like the Shire Free Churche’s Hope Project (compassion to satisfy my own ego). In both of these cases I am helping others for purely selfish reasons.
Likewise, inflicting harm on others (without their consent) usually does not bring happiness to most people. For those that do like to cause unnecessary harm, that behavior is tempered by the vast majority of people who do not want to live in that type of society. Morality is determined by the individual, but still subject to judgment by others; if someone believes they have a right to steal, they will not get far before running into a well-armed someone else that disagrees. We do believe in Law and Order as well as the individual’s right to self-defense and retribution. Criminal acts are not tolerated by Satanism.
Edit: Typos, sources, links and clarity
I remember being in the army and having Christian types trying to preach to me. Even in the chow hall I'd have some asshole come sit down next to me and say something like, "Have you heard the Good News?" and then start talking about Jesus.
I kept a copy of the Satanic Bible by Anton Levay as a joke and would invite them to my bible study group. They mostly left me alone after that.
LaVeyan Satanism is fairly reasonable. It's basically just atheism with certain philosophical tenets added in.
...mostly. I should mention that there's a big current of occult practice in most Satanism; LaVey himself wrote out a lot of 'spells' in his books, for whatever reason. How Satanists justify that basically comes down to personal preference (if they do so at all).
Philosophically, though, Satanism is pretty sane stuff. I identified myself as a Satanist for years, I still would but 'secular humanist' fits more accurately now, I think.
Edit: For those curious, there are, more or less, three major camps of Satanism, with varying degrees of differentiation.
LaVeyan Satanism is largely based on the works of Anton LaVey, and is more or less represented by the Church of Satan. The Satanic Bible basically outlines its essential positions. Like he says in the video, this form of Satanism is essentially atheist, using Satan as a metaphor for human potential and drive, as well as other things. By nature it tends toward iconoclasm, and many people (myself included) use LaVeyan Satanism as a transitory period between theism and atheism.
Setian Satanism is an offshoot from the 1970s of LaVeyan Satanism that's directed by the Temple of Set. It's an officially recognized religion in the US which even boasts chaplains in the military. Unlike LaVeyan Satanism, Setians focus very heavily on magickal and occult doctrine, and the Temple's organization mimics many other magickal orders. It's very ritual-heavy and there's some debate about whether it's atheist or not (mainly, whether Set is a symbol or an entity). The ultimate goal is Xeper, which (more or less) comes from the Egyptian word Kheper, a dung-beetle deity who's name symbolized transformation.
Luciferian Satanism is a decentralized, theist form of Satanism. The different approaches to Luciferianism are too wide to list here, but they commonly identify with a literal Satan figure to whom they pray, in the hopes of achieving a transhumanist, Promethean transformation (similar to Setians). Traditions vary between Hebraic Satanism to Norse and everything in between. There are many organizations based on Luciferianism, but none really have the size and weight of either the Church of Satan or the Temple of Set.
Hopefully someone finds this interesting.
Kay I'm home now.
oh god, where to start.
Anton LaVey called his religion Satanism for two reasons.
Reason #1) He only wanted people with an open mind.
Reason #2) He believed that humans crafted the idea of God from our ego, as we needed something to guide us, something to have us know right from wrong, a moral code, with a punishment for not following it. If the God is the Ego, and Satan is the opposite of God, then Satan would be the carnal human desires. Satanists "worship" these bare, core, carnal desires of human nature. (Lust, Greed, Rage, etc. (Known in the Christian Religion as "The 7 Deadly Sins")) This is why you'll sometimes see people wearing a shirt that says "Worship Yourself".
Satanists DO have principals they follow. For instance, The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth.
Personally, I like to describe LaVeyan Satanism as "the religion of not giving a single fuck" because of what we believe. You are free to do what you please as a Satanist, so long as your actions do not harm another (without justification) or impose on their rights as a human. Example: Free Love. Go ahead, be gay if you want, be lesbian if you want to be, love who you want. If you want to have a 5 person all-male orgy, there's nothing stopping you from doing that, so long as everyone consents.
Another thing about Satanism people may find "wrong" is:
>If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
>If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
These are some things that are entirely up to the practicing individual. Use whatever force YOU DEEM necessary to stop the problem. If YOU PERSONALLY BELIEVE murder to be the appropriate response to someone's actions towards you, GO FOR IT.
Personally there's only 3 things that condone murder for me:
most satanist groups don't actually believe in the existence of satan. only christians believe in satan.
this is a good read https://www.amazon.com/Satanic-Bible-Anton-Szandor-Lavey/dp/0380015390
1: [Amazon](The Satanic Bible https://www.amazon.com/dp/0380015390/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_C.Hgzb5J3HQQ5) or call your local bookstore to see if they have one in stock. My Barnes and Nobles only carries one at a time to prevent people from vandalizing it.
2: You can say Hail Satan to anything. I said it multiple times today, my wife and I say it when something cool happens or something works out in our favor. Essentially it is the vocal equivalent of "praise god", but since we don't believe in god or Satan and we praise ourselves, saying Hail Satan is like "yay me" or an affirmation.
As far as Lucifer, one of the titles for Satan, no we(LaVeyan) do not worship Lucifer. Luciferians on the other hand revere Lucifer as a liberator character but also a deity who they do not worship.
If you have more questions I would be glad to answer them through PM at any time. :)
Church of Satan (LaVeyan)
The Satanic Temple (Humanists using Satanism for shock value)
Joy of Satan (If you ever receive a link to this site, turn around and go home)
I also recommend reading the Satanic Bible. It's a quick read, and will explain everything you need to know about LaVeyan Satanism. Here's a link to Amazon for $10. LINK
Good Luck :)
Also, what is a sidebar?
Don't forget the Satanic Bible. Watch the do-do hit the fan over that!
I've found The Satanic Bible to be great for skepticism, if you're looking for a more religious bent. Some parents read The Holy Bible to their kids, and The Satanic Bible teaches you to ask hard questions and make up your own mind about things (instead of simply taking someone's word for it).
The Satanic Bible is 9 bucks on Amazon. For best effect, I suggest asking if they would like to study the Bible with you, then get this book out and open it to chapter 5 (Hell, the Devil, and how to sell your soul).
>You can't just pick what you like and throw away the rest!
No one here is doing that. I recommend you read the sticky, the Church of Satan website and pick up a copy of The Satanic Bible while you're at it.
Satanism has nothing to do with pedophilia, and never has. Do your research and come back when you're ready to have an actual conversation.
The Satanic Bible and Satanism are not "globally rejected", even the US armed forces has a document that outlines religious requirements with Satanism included (DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY PAMPHLET NO. 165-13).
That said, I'm with you on the whole hand kids a stack of religious texts from various religions and let them decide for themselves.
A few other books you might want to add which fit nicely with the Bible (in no particular order):
Try this one instead: https://www.amazon.com/Satanic-Bible-Anton-Szandor-Lavey/dp/0380015390/ref=sr_1_fkmr2_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1510200951&amp;sr=8-1-fkmr2&amp;keywords=levay+satanic+bible
Get one. Works wonders.
Edit: It's actually not a terrible read if you ignore the enochian key section.
There is a book on this stuff btw.
fundie at work had a screaming meltdown when i 'forgot' this on my desk.
Luckily boss had a sense of humor. Promised him not to bring 'my religion' to work if he also promised not to bring his.
He still cannot bring himself to sit next to me in meetings. :)
Check Amazon.com - there are hundreds of reviews there, and many of the top ones are actually in-depth and insightful.
Buy the Satanic Bible for $10. It's relatively short, and will tell you everything you want to know. Also check out the links in the sidebar.
$8.99 new or $4.17 used.
So, she is a very confused person who has been told some very awful things about the world. I'd recommend you get her a few books to help open her mind.
This one for sure...
Heck, anything on this list!
And make sure you remind her that fire is a gift from Prometheus, and is not the realm of Satan, if she burns it, she has to thank Prometheus instead of renouncing Satan, but that the act of burning anything is technically a worship act to a non-christian being.
Then just shake your head gently and say "It is just so much easier to be a good person." cue you walking away with a pensive look struck across your face
Please read the sticky in this sub. Otherwise, many of the answers to the questions you're asking here can be found in books, so I'm going to recommend some:
Hard cover only $666
the hardcover version is listed at a steep $666, but the mass market paperback is only about 10 bucks. have fun!
Read through the Sticky
Grab yourself a copy of the Satanic Bible
This doesn't cover everything but it's a strong start
I dabbled with LaVeyan Satanism and JOS in my late teens, early twenties.
Why did I pray to Satan?, because in LaVeyan Satanism, he (along with Beliel, Lucifer, and Leviathan) represent the four elements, with Satan corresponding to Fire. So, I'd use him in the same way Fire would be used in other magick systems.
Please note that the Satan of LaVeyan Satanism is not the same Satan as in Christianity.
Edit: Just google Church of Satan, and you'll get one point of view.
" As Anton LaVey explained in his classic work The Satanic Bible, Man—using his brain—invented all the Gods, doing so because many of our species cannot accept or control their personal egos, feeling compelled to conjure up one or a multiplicity of characters who can act without hindrance or guilt upon whims and desires. All Gods are thus externalized forms, magnified projections of the true nature of their creators, personifying aspects of the universe or personal temperaments which many of their followers find to be troubling. Worshiping any God is thus worshiping by proxy those who invented that God. Since the Satanist understands that all Gods are fiction, instead of bending a knee in worship to—or seeking friendship or unity with—such mythical entities, he places himself at the center of his own subjective universe as his own highest value. "
I thought about it for a few minutes when I saw the post, and I came to pretty much the same conclusion.
I believe The Satanic Bible specifically mentions that children should avoid claiming to be Satanists until they are not only old enough to make such decisions, but to endure any fallout that might come about.
Of course, if your parents are Satanists(lucky you!), you might have a different, more positive viewpoint, but you'd definitely be in the minority.
I'd say the satanic bible is pretty hard to explain
Man, that's laziness. Typing your request literally takes more effort than going to Amazon and searching for "Satanic Bible". Not to mention you have to wait around for your request to be filled, IF it's filled.
In Chrome (assuming you're already an Amazon user, since you requested the link):
I've been reading through Baphomet: The Temple Mystery Unveiled lately and it's an incredible insight into the history and beliefs behind Baphomet.
A great place to start with LaVeyan Satanism is The Satanic Bible
I have tons of graphic novels on my lists :P don't know if they count as "books"... but those are also my favorites to read :) Batman all the way :D
But in the spirit of Halloween... I have the "Black Bible" (aka satanic bible) on my wishlist O_o... And no, I'm not a Satanist ;) I just find all the occult and demon stuff interesting and I think it would be a interesting/scary thing to read :D
My First Book of Mormon Stories?
Bhagavad-Gita for Children and Beginners?
The Littlest Satanic Bible? Looks like the Satanic Temple has a kid's thing, but it's already been linked.
Prepare her for a world full of Fnord with The Itty Bitty Principia Discordia? Hmmm... Can't seem to find a kids version of this.
I know! I know! Teach her about the ways of Slack with The Book of the SubGenius: The Sacred Teachings of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and its companion Revelation X: The Bob Apocryphon, Hidden Teachings and Deuterocanonical Texts of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs! They don't have a kid's thing either, but such is life! (This SubGenious stuff is. a. hoot.)
Cool, have you read The Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor Lavey?
Holy crap it was a lot cheaper when I bought it.
the edgelord bible
It can be purchased here >:)
According to Amazon, it is exactly 0.7 inches thick and 272 pages long. It's a quick read, though; especially if you're reading it to gain an understanding rather than an intense study.
The Satanic Bible https://www.amazon.com/dp/0380015390/
Who? Satan? You mean like this?
The Satanic Bible by LaVey is currently a #1 bestseller on Amazon. Seems like there's a lot of good stuff in there.
I feel like you bringing up
> Was it all the symbolism the Illuminati flashed before your eyes?
Is just proof that you're here to try and spark conflicts and upset people. If that is not the case then I do feel that this specific quote is disrespectful.
As I suggested, please go and read a satanic bible and also visit The Satanic Temple's website. Those should paint a pretty good picture of modern day Satanism. Alternatively, you can just ask me specific questions and I can provide answers. WARNING: I'm not trying to convert you or push a mindset on you! These are merely suggestions so that you may further your knowledge in these areas as you seem to know much about Christianity and Jesus but little about opposing views/arguments against that.
To answer this quote from you
> I wouldn't be so surprised if this was r/satanism, but it is r/atheism.
I agree that there are many different "sects", if you will, of satanism, but most of these sects are atheist in nature; hence, why I'm here and trying to educate you as best I can on the matter. Speaking as general as possible, Satanists don't believe in some great amazing sky God who created humanity as a bunch of worshipers, nor do satanists believe in many of the "holy texts" from other religions that have been mostly disproved by history.
Now let me go ahead and elaborate on this quote of mine because you keep coming back to it.
> Satan is perfect
You said something about how Satan symbolizes evil and corruption. Where does that definition come from, who taught you that, and why is this the case? When I read the satanic bible, that is not the impression I got. In fact, when you research Lucifer and many of the popular names of Satan, many of them have really amazing and beautiful origins. From what I've studied, these were mostly erased/twisted after the Christian church came into contact with the "pagans" who worshiped or new these Gods/"demons".
This is why I feel that Satan is a perfect counter in situations like the one from the original article. It makes people think. It makes people ask questions and many times the answers to those questions have to be found in something other than the religious text that they started in. Satanism doesn't have the "this is it, the only thing you're allowed to believe or you burn for eternity" clause that forces people to cower in fear about studying or believing anything other than what they started with. It encourages the opposite.
I'm happy to continue this discussion as long as you are and I apologize if you genuinely feel that this
> You people are not being very respectful at all.
is true. That isn't what I've intended in any of my discussion so far.
"If you're feeling really adventurous, why not 'Do as thou wilt' and check out The Satanic Bible by Mr. Anton LeVey. Come see what kind of whacky adventures he and his friends have been having!"
Most bookstores can put in a special order for you if you prefer that.
E-book copies are currently unavailable.
From the Church of Satan FAQ:
Can I get a free copy of The Satanic Bible? Where can I download it? Is there a hardcover version?
No, we don’t proselytize so we don’t send out free books or pamphlets as do other religions. The publisher of this book, HarperCollins/Avon, has not released an eBook version, so if you do find an electronic file of this book it is not authorized and is violating the copyright. Years ago University Books released a hardcover version which was not well rendered. These copies appear on auction websites for a great deal of money. HarperCollins/Avon may release another hardcover edition. We will announce any progress toward that goal on our News page.
I don't know what country you're from, but I guess you could easily buy it here...
Avoid the 50th anniversary "ReVision" by Aquino
this is what you beed
The only authentic one is the one by Anton LaVey. Very cheap in paperback, but be prepared to shell out some serious money for the hardback if you try to get one.
Check out the sub's sticky and the Church of Satan website for a lot of free information and essays, too.
If i'm being wooshed, so be it.
Satanism has many different spins, one such spin was done by a man named Anton LaVey, who wrote This Satanic Bible. It's arguably the most popular/mainstream spin on Satanism and some people like to identify as LaVeyan Satanist rather than just Satanist.
Similar to how there are so many different spins on Catholicism there can be drastic differences between each spin.
That would be The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey.
It's actually quite interesting.
Anton Lavey's satanic bible is the best "holy" Book around. Fascinating stuff, and totally misunderstood by fear mongering christians.
It's like $10 here
My junior high principal forbade us from bringing D&D rulebooks and the like because "they are Satanic." This must have been around 1986 or 87.
I asked my parents if I could buy a copy of the Satanic Bible and take that to read instead, but my Dad gave me some lame excuse about not dealing w/ me being suspended to make a point.
Yeah you did! Soon you'll be in wonderland!
One of the first hallucinations I ever had -- and one of the strongest, even to this day -- was of a wolf face. It was out of nowhere: one moment it was the normal tone of eigengrau you'd expect behind your eyelids, the next, a wolf was inches from my face. It was beyond clear, more real than real life. I could see every hair. Its eyes, bright yellow and full of some unearthly knowing, stared right into mine. Not just at, but into.
Naturally, I shot up in bed, gasping and punching. I was just certain that a wolf had somehow gotten into my bedroom and had come to gobble me up, and I wasn't going down easily. My mother had been sleeping next to me that night, and I woke her up with all my thrashing about. She eventually convinced me that there wasn't a wolf in the room, and I eventually went back to sleep.
I obsessed about it for months. I was a kid back then, and the internet wasn't a thing (nor were computers or cell phones or any of that stuff), so I couldn't just google around for answers. After some heavy pondering, I assumed that I had just seen a picture of a wolf in a book somewhere, that it somehow stuck in my head, and had just popped up during some kind of weird, half-awake dream. I didn't know about hypnagogia back then.
So, being the little detective that I was, I proceeded to go through every single book and magazine we owned, looking for that specific image. I knew the eyes, I knew the coat patterns, and I knew that I would know both when I saw them again. When that failed, I begged my mom to take me to the library. And then kept begging until I had been enough times to go through all of their related material. All of their natural history books, all of their National Geographics, and anything else the card catalog hinted might have a wolf in it.
As you might expect, I found no match. I did find a mention of totem animals, though, which was a new concept for a kid who had only been taught about spirituality through the (very narrow, I now feel) lens of Southern Baptist faith. Fortunately, my family has native ancestry, or my search might have ended right there.
I started bringing home library books about Native American spirituality. Acceptable, even to my very conservative father. It was "Indian stuff", so it was fine. Those were exhausted pretty quickly. Eventually there was nothing left to read, and I begrudgingly gave up the search.
Some years later, when I was a teenager, my mother took me to a bookstore in a neighboring city, and left me to my own devices while she wandered off to get a coffee (and to meet her boyfriend, I realized much later, lol). I don't know what little internal thing pushed me in that direction, but after a few minutes of wandering, I started looking for more totem animal books. I ended up finding the new age section, and everything changed.
Now, I still believed back then that everything that had been printed in a book was true, or was at least valuable in some way. I understood the difference between fiction and nonfiction, but I thought that it had to be good fiction in order to be printable, because of course agents and editors and publishers had gone over it with a fine-toothed comb. It cost money to publish things, after all, and surely a business wouldn't invest in wasteful nonsense. And the non-fiction? Well, all of that had been equally well researched, of course. They were basically textbooks.
So imagine coming from this point of view, and being suddenly surrounded by things like Taoism, Eckankar, shamanism, tarot, mysticism, and Wicca. I was in the non-fiction section -- just one long shelf over from the Bibles! The Bibles!
Magic was real? Meditation wasn't just something monks in documentaries did? These were topics that our backwoods little library hadn't even hinted existed. It was like a portal to an entirely different world had suddenly been opened up to me, a world that I had no real way of knowing about until then. Dial-up internet was only just beginning to be installed in some homes, and mine wasn't one of them. And this stuff certainly wasn't highlighted on VH1.
I wanted to learn as much as possible, but I realized that the stuff I was reading had to be innocuous enough that I wouldn't get in trouble if my mother came back and caught me with it. Also, I didn't want to go to hell, and willfully touching something like this seemed like a pretty good foot in the door. So I grabbed a book about meditation, one about tarot (though I didn't understand what the hell it was talking about and ended up discarding it pretty quickly), and a sort of borderline acceptable one about candle magic. I found an overstuffed chair nearby, as I wasn't about to be caught dead in that aisle, and spent the next fifteen or so minutes soaking my little teenage brain in this whole new paradigm.
Mom returned not long after I had gotten really into the candle magic book. Maybe she was in a good mood, maybe she was feeling guilty for the tryst, maybe the stars aligned and some cosmic finger guided her, or maybe she was just more of a hippie than I gave her credit for. Likely a little of all of those. Whatever the case, she bought me this book, with the explicit instruction that I was to hide it from my father.
This is a pretty standard beginner's book, I now realize. Nothing in it is revolutionary, and many of the things I now have enough of an understanding of to disagree with the authors' interpretations, or to disregard it entirely. But back then, I thought it was gospel. It became my new Bible -- it certainly made a lot more sense than my old one. I carried it with me everywhere, for fear of leaving it somewhere at home and having my father discover it. It became not just reference material, but also a place where I could jot down everything that I was learning. My very first Book of Shadows. When Mom went back to the bookstore for more secret infidelities, she often dragged me along, and I always dragged the book along, and copied down things from other books into its pages (they all look like this, more or less, including the inside covers on both ends).
It grew from there. I went to college, got a job, bought a house, and proceeded to fill the library with books on whatever the hell I wanted. As a result, I am fairly well-versed in the histories and beliefs of many religions (most of the modern ones, some of the ancient ones), and extremely well-versed in a select few. I have also developed a strong interest in physics, which I believe will eventually become the bridge between science and spirituality. My shelves have plenty of those books, too.
I like to think that none of this would have happened quite like it has, had it not been for that wolf. Over the years, it has been something I have returned to, some unsolved mystery that "Oh, just hypnagogia" never quite felt like the right answer to. So not too long ago, during my QHHT session, I asked about it:
> What about the vision of the wolf face?
And my higher self responded:
> That is meant to be a guide. And she has followed, in her way. It has made her ask the questions that needed to be asked.
I think it served its purpose well.
I found a Satanic Bible once in a parking lot when I was in high school. I kept that shit.
Oooh the restraining order. That's the type of stuff she's into, I get it. ;) Go to her home and slit your wrist, and use the blood to create pentagrams and various satan symbols and versus from The Satanic Bible all over the walls and floor of the house. Then grab a virgin lamb and stick it exactly 24 times and take its blood and lather it all over your body. When she arrives grab a nearby wine bottle and beat it over her head until conscious. Drag her body to the blood pentagram you previously drew with your blood and gently write a "666" on the base of her forehead. Fuck her body furiously and ejaculate inside of her, and make sure every last drop of your semen is inside her. Once complete, strap her down to the floor with chains connected to the ground and through her wrists and arms. When she awakens, tell her everything you have done to show her your affection. Then cover her in gasoline and light a match. Place the lit match carefully between her breasts and gently stick your penis in her vagina while rubbing the gasoline on her body. When the gasoline lights, continue to duck her gently, and burn together.
This little pamphlet is somewhat educational. Or just kidnap her and wait till she's old enough to decide whether or not she should get baptized. Depending on, you know, whether she has invisible friends past her childhood.
Excuse me sir.... But if you get the Kindle version it won't burn.
Gee, I wonder what practitioners of Satanism might believe in? I bet Google would be able to tell me.
Check it out! The first link is the official webpage for the Church of Satan
I wonder if there is some sort of information about what they believe? Yep, there it is, right on the first page and there's even a convenient link to Amazon so one can purchase The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey.
Now if only there was someone willing to hold your dick and aim while you piss maybe your shoes wouldn't reek of urine all the time.
Well it's on amazon my mistake, But it still took like 2 seconds to find but here.
By the way I don't mean to sound rude however this was NOT hard to find man.