Reddit reviews The Tenth Good Thing About Barney

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney is a picture book where a family cat is buried next to a young tree and they plant flower seeds next to the tree. The child is encouraged to make a list of 10 good things about his cat in remembrance. The tenth good thing is that the cat will now be helping the flowers grow. The idea of planting a tree reminded me of the book. While they won't be burying the teacher in a school garden, a tenth good thing is the tree is being planted because of the teacher.

There have been some good posts on this topic over at /r/parenting - you might check out this one, this one, or this one. One bit of advice that I've read several places is to avoid using the phrase "put to sleep", because you don't want your daughter to associate sleep with death - it may sound blunt, but telling her directly that the cat died will be less confusing than the various euphemisms we tend to use. Explain that when animals get old (and people too, if she asks) their bodies don't work so well, and eventually stop working. When an animal's body stops working completely, it means they have died, and they can't run or play or eat or sleep or do anything anymore.

You might think about getting an age-appropriate book about the death of a pet to read with her, such as Goodbye Mousie or The Goodbye Book; two good ones about cats specifically are The Tenth Good Thing About Barney and The Day Tiger Rose Said Goodbye. There's also a more factual (rather than story) book written by Mr. Rogers called When A Pet Dies which might help you answer some of her questions, and the book Lifetimes provides a lovely explanation of death in general as part of the natural cycle of life.

Was it The Tenth Good Thing About Barney?

I have two stupid, beautiful cats and it kills me to think I'll be going through what you're going through someday. When I was young I lost my pet rabbit and I was completely heartbroken, guilty, and confused. My aunt gave me this book to help me cope. It's obviously geared towards kids, but the themes in it are the same ones I have to work through each new time I experience loss and I still get teary-eyed when I read it.

Beyond my personal silly advice, at least take comfort in the fact that you showed that furball an awesome time while he was alive.

It sounds like you did handle it. Unless he keeps bringing up the concept of heaven, I don't think there's any need for you to do so, either. He may keep feeling sad about the fish, and you can comfort him by saying something like, "It's okay to miss Finny. He was a nice fish, wasn't he? You were so good at taking care of him. He always looked happy."

You might also check out the book The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, which talks about the life-death-decay cycle. The boy in the book discovers that the tenth thing for list of good things about his deceased cat is that "Barney is in the ground and he's helping grow flowers. You know... that's a pretty nice job for a cat."

So sorry to hear you little guy isn't doing well :( It's been nearly 4 years to the day since I lost my little girl, Sky, at 16 years old (I had had her since she was a baby). She had the same sort of issues - lost weight, stopped being able to fly, couldn't hold herself up on her perch. It was so hard seeing her struggle. I still miss her everyday but I took a lot of solace in the fact that she, like all animals, didn't feel bad or sorry for herself. She just slept a lot and one early morning she passed peacefully, snuggled into my father's chest (her favorite person).

In my family we have always read The Tenth Good Thing About Barney when our pets pass, and it always brings me a little bit of solace. I hope in the next few days you spend with Bird you can remember all of the good things about him and keep that with you when harder times come <3

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney? I'm not sure if the cats have the funeral, though.

It is amazing how big a hole they can leave in our lives when they pass...

I see kids, dealing with death of a pet can be hard. I really like the book "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" by Judith Viorst, it discusses the death of a pet. It might be a comfort to the adults as well...

https://www.amazon.com/Tenth-Good-Thing-About-Barney/dp/0689712030

>I am actually working on a story about death! It is titled, "Baby Death and the Family Business." The message is that death is actually a good thing, despite being tragic, because it is what makes life fragile.

Kids love teleological explanations like that. Although teleology being so appealing is what makes it easy to make kids religious, because even natural things seem to be designed for a purpose to them.

A kid's book can also put death into a context of nature, as in the famous children's book The Tenth Good Thing About Barney where the 10th good thing they can think of about their cat after it's dead and buried is that now it is helping the garden grow. That's one that I will buy for my daughter when she's old enough to appreciate it.

Another good resources is: The Tenth Good Thing About Barney":

https://smile.amazon.com/Tenth-Good-Thing-About-Barney/dp/0689712030?sa-no-redirect=1

(It's about a cat called Barney, not the dinosaur.)

I think this kind of thing probably happens to all kids in some way at some point. If he's especially sensitive then it's not really surprising to me that this is weighing on him so heavily. Have you thought of getting him some books on the subject? I gave some to my nephew when his grandmother died because my sister-in-law said he had a lot of questions about where she had gone.

One of them was The Tenth Good Thing About Barney which is about a little boy who loses his cat. They bury him under a tree near the garden, and the "tenth good thing" is that Barney is there helping the flowers grow. Another one I gave him was Badger's Parting Gifts. Badger dies and all his friends are sad, but then they start recalling all their memories of him, and all the things he taught them to do, and conclude that he is still with them in that way. One that I didn't end up buying but may be of interest to you is Lifetimes. There are some negative reviews saying that it doesn't get spiritual enough and therefore isn't comforting, but it would be a good way to show how life and death is simply a part of existence.

Buy him this book. It's a kids book, but it's really good. It actually helps you cope with the loss of a pet.