Reddit Reddit reviews The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals

We found 14 Reddit comments about The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
Transgender Child A Handbook for Families and Professionals
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14 Reddit comments about The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals:

u/ftmichael · 38 pointsr/asktransgender

Hi, I'm a Trans adult who transitioned as a teen, and now works with Trans youth.

See if there are groups for LGBTQ youth, and especially Trans and gender-questioning youth, in your area.

Tell your son flat-out that it's completely fine with you that he's Trans, binary or non-binary, and that you will support him no matter what. We have to actually explicitly say the words, or the message isn't clearly received. I'll never forget the wonderful PFLAG mom (join PFLAG, by the way, especially if your local chapter has a group for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids) who talked about her gay son coming out in his early 20s; he was terrified to tell his parents, which confused and upset them because they'd very consciously never said anything about being gay not being okay. His response was "But Mom, you never said that it was okay either."

Remember, too, that you have to walk your talk when you say you'll support him no matter what. Support for Trans youth matters. Support doesn't mean saying "I support you" and then not letting him wear a binder or a boy's suit to an upcoming family event, or not using his name and/or pronouns, or telling him that he has to wait until he's 18 to pursue medical transition. That isn't support. If he doesn't feel supported, he's in the stat group of unsupported youth.

This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!

The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look. Share all of those books with your son.

Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . Your son would love Camp Aranu'tiq.

Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)

Run, don't walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for you there, even though you're already supportive. On Facebook, check out these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, check out /r/cisparenttranskid.

Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.

The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.

u/fargolargo212 · 8 pointsr/ftm

At 13, you need parental consent to start T. I'm sorry. I was in your shoes eight years ago.

Look to see if there's a group for parents of trans kids in your area. Look hard, not just a google search. Ask any local LGBT groups you can find, or any other trans people you know. If there's none, see if you can get in contact with parents of trans children (adult children count too) who have watched their son go on T and can attest to how helpful it was. Get your parents in contact with these parents.

Offer them other resources too. This book is really helpful in changing parents' minds, I've heard. You also may want to send them articles ( this and this )on the studies published recently about the improved mental health of trans kids who were allowed to transition.

Also, if they are religiously inclined as you say, you could check out the documentary "Call Me Malcolm" for them, which is about a transgender man who is also a seminary student. Just beause your folks are Christian doesn't mean they are and always will be transphobic.

Additionally, if you don't already see a supportive therapist, start seeing one. Your parents may be more likely to listen to an adult professional who backs you up when you say you need to go on T.

Changing your parents' minds takes time, and you have to be patient and not give up. As hard as it is, tell them you love them, frequently.

u/vancitygal · 5 pointsr/asktransgender

This is supposed to be a great book for families of trans kids/gender creative kids.... The transgender child

I would also recommend looking into whether there is a PFLAG chapter in your area, in Vancouver Canada where I live about 60% of the people who go are trans or families/friends of trans* people. We get a lot of parents that come!

u/brummingdooming · 3 pointsr/asktransgender

If you like reading more, try the trans teens survival guide tumblr, or GLAAD's comprehensive resources (I linked you to the "trans 101" page, but there's a lot around their site). This sub is also a great place to explore and ask questions. If you have the ability to get a physical book and it's safe to do so/can be hidden from parents, Luna and Parrotfish are good reads for fiction, and Wandering Son is a manga about trans kids. Speaking of parents, The Transgender Child or Just Add Hormones would also be a great resource for them when she's ready to tell them.

Edit: Also, just wanted to add. You seem like an amazing brother and she is lucky to have you. But it is totally normal to be confused or surprised by this stuff too, so even if you don't get things or you say or think the wrong thing sometimes that's okay. And it's always ok to take care of yourself if you need it. The important thing is you love each other.

u/bserum · 3 pointsr/atheism

Regarding the book, maybe you can do a tit-for-tat thing: you read his book if he'll read one of yours. Give a little, get a little.

[Coming Around: Parenting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Kids] (http://www.amazon.com/Coming-Around-Parenting-Bisexual-Transgender/dp/0882823930/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1376031077&sr=8-5&keywords=parents+of+transgender+children)

The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals

u/thaeli · 2 pointsr/asktransgender

Then they may be able to help. I had read your post to say you specifically didn't want the administration to know, and sometimes that's an indication that things need to be approached SUPER carefully. Sounds like that's not the case here; I may have overreacted.

School counselors are generally pretty good about keeping confidentiality about things where suicide isn't involved at all. Even minor suicidal ideation without intent to carry through can get a whole shitstorm started, so basically: never ever ever mention even fleeting thoughts of hurting yourself to a school counselor. Again, sounds like this isn't your issue, but I feel it needs to be said. Gender stuff alone should be something they wouldn't take to your parents.

The biggest issue you're likely to face would be having a counselor who really does want to help, but has outdated training/experience. The Transgender Child is the definitive resource on how to navigate transition at your age. Definitely if they are looking for a resource to help them help you, that's the book I would point them to, and I'd recommend it to you as well. Actually, you might even want to get a copy, read it, and have it available for them as a resource.

u/moutarde · 2 pointsr/lgbt

That sucks. I can understand why you feel angry and sad. Anytime someone who is important in our lives isn't able to see who we really are, it hurts and drives a wedge in the relationship. For your dad to not get what your experience is, what it's like to be in your skin, and it sounds like not to understand something that's been your focus (probably for a long time) is totally invalidating. I'm glad you're continuing with working on your transition!

See if you can get your hands on The Transgender Child by Rachel Pepper and Stephanie Brill. http://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/1573443182/ref=redir_mdp_mobile
It has chapters addressing what your dad is going through, which sucks but can be normal and he may get over it (especially with help). Also a family counsellor may help too. Your dad needs to get used to having a son, but you don't have to be the only one who gets him there. Good luck.

u/Laura_Sandra · 2 pointsr/asktransgender

You're welcome :)

Here might be a few common sense explanations.

And here is a book that might help understand a few things too. A number of things are explained in a general way. There are also more books in the recommendations there.

And here is an article by another parent that may also help. From about the middle on things that parents often ask themselves are discussed ... did they cause it somehow, etc.

I'd say keep going :)

Concerning dysphoria it can be a coping strategy. Basically it can be like feeling nothing .. or feeling spaced out, or behind glass. There can be a vague permanently present feeling of unease. With integrating repressed parts, and also with HRT, there can be for the first time a feeling of things being right. A few things may look more pronounced then because they were not as noticeable. But on the other hand there can be a wider spectrum of feelings, and a feeling to be alive for the first time in a long time. It is also possible to concentrate on things a person likes.

u/newfacer · 2 pointsr/ftm

Have they read this book? It's the one I'd most strongly recommend for parents of trans kids, and a lot of it is very applicable in your situation. Assuming they're open to educating themselves, this is probably the best guide to what to do if you have a child who exhibits gender variance. It is extremely well written and hugely comprehensive and covers various life stages and is also very current research wise, while never getting too technical.

u/amiker7709 · 2 pointsr/cisparenttranskid

GLAAD has a comprehensive list of trans resources here: http://www.glaad.org/transgender/resources

HRC has some great ones, too: http://www.hrc.org/resources/topic/transgender

Keep in mind, many of these are very long lists that range from crisis hotlines to educational programs to local outreach efforts. But they're great links to have.

For parenting, I suggest the following (maybe include these first, as they're directly aimed at parents):

  1. She should join online parent groups for parents of trans kids (I'm a member of two on Facebook). They're a great resource for parents to share info and support with each other.

  2. She should look into local support groups. PFLAG has chapters everywhere, and local to me, there's a support group for family members of trans people that meets once a month. In-person meet-ups are great.

  3. She (and you) need a good therapist. You need one to help document your journey, communicate with your family and give the credibility you'll need to prove you're serious about this transition. Most docs won't prescribe hormones without talking to a therapist you've seen for a while, to make sure all is well. Your mom will need a therapist to help her work through the hangups she may have, so she doesn't feel alone or crazy. Find someone who specializes in LGBT. You can search online. Be sure to find one that is up to date on the WPATH standards of care and is educated about trans-specific issues (or is willing to learn fast).

  4. She should read. This book is great: https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Child-Handbook-Families-Professionals/dp/1573443182/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469663613&sr=8-1&keywords=transgender+child

    Gender Spectrum also offers parenting info: https://www.genderspectrum.org/explore-topics/parenting-and-family/

    TransYouth Family Allies has good helpful info too: http://www.imatyfa.org/resources/parents/

    If you want info specific to schools, workplaces, etc, let me know. But this should be a start. Above all, be kind and understanding. You've been inside your own head all this time, but it might blindside your parent to learn of your desire to transition. Give them a little time as they adjust, answer questions honestly (even if they're asked awkwardly - some people genuinely want to learn but don't know how to ask the right questions), and be consistent. Don't fly off the handle if your mom misgenders you a week after you come out; as long as she's trying and open to gentle correction, that's progress.

    If she reacts badly or you need other resources, PM me. Good luck!
u/Honey-Badger · 1 pointr/AskUK

Lets go through the reading list then as you clearly are so unsure of your point you dont want to risk being proven wrong.

  1. Usher, Raven, ed. (2006). North American Lexicon of Transgender Terms. San Francisco. ISBN 978-1-879194-62-5. OCLC 184841392. - can be found here, described as 'Hello beautiful readers,
    I put this together durring the time I was flexing my activist mussles. It occured to me early on that the reason the gender rights is so hard to advocate is because the language involved can be so confusing. So this is my attempt to help educate the masses. Before we can communicate effectively, we need to be able to speak a common language effectively. This dictionary suppplies the language. Now, all we have to do is learn the words and use them to communicate. ' - So its basically just a dictionary, not helpful.

  2. Brill, Stephanie A.; Pepper, Rachel (28 June 2008). The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals. San Francisco: Cleis Press. ISBN 978-1-57344-318-0. OCLC 227570066. can be found here. Described as; This comprehensive first of its kind guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face when raising their children. Through extensive research and interviews the authors cover gender varience from birth to college. What do you do when your daughter's first sentence is she's a boy? What will happen if your small son wants to wear a dress? Is this just a phase? What do therapists say? Doctors? What is gender anyway? These are just some of the topics raised and discussed, offering a deepr understanding of gender difficulties in children and teens. - So basically a how to guide on raising a transgender kid, again nothing about the history of non binary peoples. Not useful.

  3. Winter, Claire Ruth (2010). Understanding Transgender Diversity: A Sensible Explanation of Sexual and Gender Identities. CreateSpace. can be found here described as; Understanding Transgender Diversity presents a fresh and remarkably clear look at the highly individual nature of human sexuality: why a vast spectrum of self-identities-including those we call "transgender"-will always exist. Part I offers a new model of human sexuality that's both logical and intuitive, enhanced by many creative diagrams and the author's personal experience. Part II provides a well-organized overview of the myriad forms of transgender expression, while Part III sheds thought-provoking light on the many kinds of relationships we can have with transgender people and how best to cope with and benefit from these. Though relatively short, this book is rich in content, written in an engaging and often witty style that draws you in from the beginning and keeps you reading with fascination to the end. - This looks promising, obviously only focusing on transgender peoples and not non binary it does hint to a history. Lets looks further into it.

    According to one reviewer it does approach non binary issues with the review saying "this is an extremely user-friendly book, very well-written in clear and concise language. I would highly recommend that it be given as a gift to us old people who are struggling with the new vocabulary concerning "non-binary-ness" and a new way of looking at the world."

    Interesting, but does it talk about it in a historical context as according to you non binary has always excited so obviously im sure there are many historical examples and not as the reviewer says " new vocabulary concerning "non-binary-ness" - Annoyingly though I cant seem to find a Bibliography attached to this book, either it is not listed or it is non existent.

    This is all bringing me back to my dissertation on the ethics of anthropomorphism in wildlife television and i ended up covering the family unit displayed and if producers ignored homosexual relationships between animals. Many authors would often get their emotions too caught up in what they were seeing and claim 'those monkeys are blatantly gay, why wont this documentary say so' - this is often a problem with LGBT reading as people get too passionate about things that their emotions run riot.

    Going to have to get back to your ever so extensive reading this later to look for anything resembling a fact, now i need to go to the Design Museum as theres an exhibition on Colour that looks interesting.
u/gyrfalcons · 1 pointr/asktransgender

The Transgender Child is one you'll likely see pop up time and again as a suggestion. It seems pretty relevant in this case!

u/calculatorwatch · 1 pointr/asktransgender

Becoming a Visible Man was not my favorite - he seemed to come at it from an unexamined place of privilege. He stated that every trans person either can afford surgery and hormones or wants to afford it.

Anyway, a super good resource for parents is a book called The Transgender Child that I gave my parents and my mom got on board calling me the correct name.

u/FollowerofLoki · 1 pointr/asktransgender

Also FtM in Michigan, I feel your pain on the cold and depressing bit. I don't really have much advice for you, so instead I'll just set you up with some links.


http://www.imatyfa.org/


http://www.ftmi.org/5family.htm


http://www.transparentcy.org/Connections.htm


http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Child-Handbook-Families-Professionals/dp/1573443182/ref=pd_sim_b_2


Hope those can help out some!