Reddit reviews Thinking Jewish Teenager's Guide to Life

>"Because you were ordered to,"

I think it's worth point out that this isn't quite right. Technically, you (and the rest of us) agreed to it.

I would suggest getting some books and lectures more focused on hashkafa and taamei hamitzvos. Off the top of my head, I would recommend The Thinking Jewish Teenagers Guid to Life and Sefer Ha'Chinuch, though I'm sure others could recommend plenty of good stuff too.

Lastly, I'd say really delve into some good mussar. Be practical and work to change your habits and outlooks. Make concrete goals and work toward them. Nothing makes you feel better than knowing that you're accomplishing being a better person.