Reddit reviews Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

There are great suggestions here for handling your finances, but I hope you don't mind a non-finance suggestion... I have not been where you are, but it's a constant fear. I'm in the midst of a divorce from a wonderful man, who is not a good partner, and who I worry about taking his own life. The book Tiny Beautiful Things has been something to hold onto, when nothing is making sense. It's healing in a way that doesn't deny how hard, and cruel and capricious these parts of life can be. It's easy to pick up for a while and put down too.

Anyways, just wanted to say how sorry I am you're going through this. I'm glad you're focused on your practicalities, but take care of your heart too. There's no right or wrong way to handle it, and I hope you will come out of this in your own way and your own time. <3

https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Beautiful-Things-Advice-Sugar/dp/0307949338

I just really like reading or listening to other people's problems.

edit: if you like reading other people's problems i recommend Tiny beautiful things https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Beautiful-Things-Advice-Sugar/dp/0307949338 it's a compilation of letters to an advice collumnist

I'm so glad that you're aware that this is a tragedy for both of you:

>My poor wife has never known what life is like outside of being a stay at home mom since our first was born while we were both in school.

>I’ve never had the chance to really get to know my wife.

If you do nothing else, I would buy this book: Tiny Beautiful Things

You see, everything you've been taught about love has been tainted and twisted to serve TSCC. There is more of love and self-love in that book than in just about anything else I've read. It will show you the landscape of love in a way that is tremendously healing.

I would also say that you might, gently, let your wife know that you wish you felt more connected to her inner life, and that you wish you were more connected to your own inner life. Maybe frame it in "The parable of the talents."

If you two never explore where your talents and interests really lie, how can you multiply them? Or something like that.

Understanding yourself and understanding your wife, and her understanding herself and you, can only do you two good. Even if you separate, that knowledge and affection will make that separation smoother.

But maybe you won't have to. Good luck. I'm so sorry for this tragedy. Look forward.

I love this! Thank you so much for working on this project!

Here are my suggestions please add what you feel is appropriate :)

FICTION
A Door Near Here by Heather Quarles. - it's about a family with an alcoholic mother from the children's point of view. As an ACOA (adult child of an alcoholic) it's quite realistic as far as the mother's behavior.

A Wrinkle in Time - includes father/daughter relationships, sibling relationships and self esteem.

Push Inspiration for the movie Precious. I love this book but it is a tough one to read.

NON FICTION:

Hospice related: Final Gifts I also recommend this one to families of a dying loved one

My Mother Myself mother daughter relationships

Will I Ever be Good Enough. Another book about mother-daughter relationships but focuses on dealing with mothers with narcissistic behaviors.

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayad

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Hyperbole and a Half Funny as fuck and talks about depression.

I do have a list of caregiver books that I give to loved ones of someone on hospice. I'm too lazy to look it up right now lol but if there's interest let me know and I'll post it.

Also, is there any interest in a social work related podcasts wiki? I know quite a few that deal with issues we work with such as alcoholism, addiction, recovery etc.

I absolutely LOVED Tiny Beautiful Things. It is kind of a different read, as it's a series of advice columns done by the author Cheryl Strayed (who wrote Wild). I read it shortly after my MC, and it was quite perfect as there were two columns on MC/infant loss that were beautiful to read. I was bawling in the best way.

Har de har har to all the comedians replying to you... here are some non-joke answers:

• Dataclysm, by OKCupid founder Christian Rudder
  
• Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, an advice columnist I happen to love who could teach a lot of OKC users a thing or two
  
• OKCupid A-List gift subscription (you'd have to know their username... could maybe print out a homemade "coupon" for them to redeem with you later if you don't know it)
  
• phone tripod, for taking better profile selfies

Sweet pea,
You are an incredible woman. Based on your wise insights and ability to recognize various forms of manipulation, it is clear that you are in a class far, far above the man who is slowly, but relentlessly working to hold you as his emotional prisoner.

I have no doubt you can describe all the wonderful qualities he has; the bad things in life he’s been through; the sacrifices he’s made for you; and the vows you both made to each other; but at the end of it all is a simple truth: this marriage has served its purpose. It is time for you to move on.

You’ve learned things about love and partnership; jealousy and emotional manipulation; generosity and courage.

Therefore, You can be grateful for the wisdom this marriage has granted you, and you can honor yourself and your husband by proceeding with divorce.

You need to learn who you are without his influence and he needs to learn who he is without hurting you. Then, you both will be free and ready to move on to better things. You both will be free to find partners who are right for each of you.

So, when you doubt whether his bad outweighs his good, remember that it isn’t a matter of scale, it is a matter of compassion and compatibility.

Yes, you are young. But, the emotional toll that divorce takes can make the next few years fly by in a whirlwind. When you hit 30, things change. Mentally, physically, emotionally. If you always wanted children, now you’re on a clock. If not, but you know that in your heart you flourish in a healthy relationship, then you are on your own, determined clock.

I’ve been where you are and I’m still desperately constructing my new reality. It seems like only a few weeks ago I was 27. Now, I’m 33. In fact, just now I said “holy shit” when typing 33. Everything still feels so unreal, but I would not change my decision and I know that everything I do is in effort to make the most out of life. It is goodness.

If you take away anything, I hope that you’ll read the book that helped me through everything (decision, divorce, aftermath). It is Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, by Cheryl Strayed.

You are worthy.