Reddit reviews Too Scared To Cry: Psychic Trauma In Childhood

The children were saved, but several of them suffered from severe PTSD. They would often reenact the scene in their play with one another. There is a book by the psychiatrist who was in charge of their treatment.

Too Scared to Cry be Lenore Terr M.D.

I believe what you're experiencing is a well known psychological phenomenon. When people experience trauma, sometimes they repeat it over and over either in an attempt to understand it, "master" it, or whatever else. You can read about it here: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repetition_compulsion

Once there was a school bus that got buried with children in it (who all survived), and this "repetition compulsion" occurred with them. You can read about it here: http://www.amazon.com/Too-Scared-To-Cry-Childhood/dp/0465086446

I really, really recommend you find a therapist you like and trust and makes it easy for you to talk about it. Having recently gone through an incredible "round" of therapy, I can tell you from personal experience that you honestly don't know what you don't know: you may very well walk out of your initial session (with the right therapist -- feeling comfortable and that the therapist is making a difference is of utmost importance) feeling like the world has opened up. It's one thing to know a bit about psychology; to have a breakthrough in your own life is one of the most transcendent things you can experience. I understand you may not want to go to therapy now, or even soon, but I hope you'll remember this post some day and it will help boost your resolve. Because what you experienced was a major trauma, and that is not okay. I wish you the very best; please take care.