Reddit reviews Touchpoints-Birth to Three

I hear you. I have n-parents as well and a toddler and another on the way.

For me, it has helped to read books about normal parenting. I like "Touchpoints" a lot. It is really basic and was recommended to me by my therapist.

And, then there is my therapist. I have a therapist that specializes in pregnant women and moms. Honestly, I am doing well enough that I probably don't need a therapist, but I feel a lot better having a therapist to bounce ideas and problems off of. She has been a huge help in building my confidence as a parent. Maybe in a few years, I will let go of therapy, because I am doing so well. But, for now, this is a tool that I think is valuable enough to me that I am not ready to let go of.

We also have a subreddit dedicated to ACONs who are parents: /r/RBNChildcare. If you ever want to post in a smaller sub that is more specialized, you can post your concerns about parenting there. But, you are also very very welcome to post at /r/raisedbynarcissists as well. Whatever you like. :)

Depends on which book it is. A good, general development guide like Touchpoints or The Well Baby Book is super useful for all parents. There's not so much a parenting philosophy inside as much as what to expect when and when you might want to alert the doctor to a suspected delay or whether an illness is worth calling about or if it's something you can manage at home. A parenting guide like Babywise or even (in my opinion) anything by Dr. Sears - those books have an agenda and if you (or your baby) don't work within that agenda, you're in for a world of disappointment.

Another approach, the one I took, is to read all the top guides in a given category, like sleep, and pick and choose. I liked knowing what all the theories were, because some things worked for my kid and some didn't, and some things worked sometimes but not others. Having a larger arsenal made me feel like a more competent parent.

4 Month Sleep Regression! From here on out, all bets are off, sleep-wise. Babies develop new skills and new physical abilities that mean they need extra contact and reassurance (often through sleeping on you, nursing, being worn in a wrap...any close contact really) during the night hours.

Most of child development is one step forward, two steps back. The books Wonder Weeks and Touchpoints are really helpful for this sort of thing because it helped explain what was going on, week to week, and why baby might be sleeping poorly one week and fine the next.

Touchpoints: Birth to Three by T. Berry Brazelton. If your hospital showed you educational videos during your recovery, you might have seen this guy.

I found Brazelton to be very helpful. He's not for or against cosleeping, not for or against sleep training, not for or against attachment, breastfeedung, gluten free, organic, baby wearing, elimination communication, or whatever. (Those are the major dogmatic divisions currently) He's a pediatrician, and he's an advocate for taking the time to understand the youngest infants and to take good care of them. And to take care of the parents too. Just the facts on ages and stages, you as a family decide how to get there. I'm in this flexible school: know the enemy baby, victorious in every battle.

The Happiest Baby On The Block book is very popular as well. A lot of people swear by it, I thought it made a lot of sense too but I didnt find it fitting for my baby. So staying flexible is good.

As a family you should talk about sleep now. If/when things get super bad, how will you handle it? Cosleep? Scheduleing? To what age? After sleep, everything is easy.

When kid is older you can discuss free range options, what to do with stranger danger, strategies for lost child, discipline and acceptable motivations/bribes. Good luck!

I'm a passing by Chinese mom. We got a lot of support for sleep scheduling, and a lot of flak for not making custom congee meals for babe, but ymmv.