Reddit reviews Twelve Minutes of Love: A Tango Story

It took me about a year to go to my community's Milonga and another 5 years to venture on my own to Milongas in other areas.

You can't use me as an example though. I am quite incredibly shy, and ridiculously fearful of new experiences!

All this "one chance and you've blown it" stuff comes from contemporary sources ( from the 40s ) that describe Milongas in some barrios as pretty unforgiving. Once you were seen dancing badly, no one would ever ask you again.

I think this should be taken with a pinch of salt. There were hundreds of Milongas in the golden age and I think it would be very difficult to ruin your reputation at them all.

Also, there is the very palpable example of Juan carlos Copes, who apparently was dismissed as a "cart" at his first Milonga. But returned a couple of months later to get another dance with Maria Nieves

In reality, all communities these days want new dancers and there is no way they will hold it against you if you are slightly clumsy the first time you attend a Milonga.

For a slightly more up-to-date description of how Milongas work. I would recommend Kapka Kassabova's 12 minutes of love:

https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Minutes-Love-Tango-Story/dp/1846272858

I can't quote it directly, but there is a passage in there where Kapka talks about the dangers of rejecting a beginner who could turn into an excellent dancer in the future.

Of course Copes and Nieves met at a Barrio Milonga where they played D'arienzo and the rules are always looser where they play modern music.